When the unexpected happens

I told my cast at the beginning of the long weekend (graduation & memorial day) and break from rehearsal: "NO INJURIES. Not even a sore throat or sunburn." Last week, one of the girls in the cast fell and split her head open and got stitches. Nothing major - she was back to rehearsal after the weekend and just took it easy for a few days - but our one-injury quota for the summer had been met. I was looking forward to Tuesday with grand plans for rehearsal and specific outlines and details and a I'm-gonna-work-their-tails-off attitude that I was thrilled about.

I went to have a one-on-one practice with one of my leads Friday night. While there, I learned that another girl in my cast had been in a very serious car accident. The young man in the car with her had passed away instantly and she had been flown to Salt Lake City in very serious condition.

I held it together until I got home.

. . . I still don't know what to say to the cast on Tuesday. The majority of them know because they are on social media and a good majority of them attend high school with her. But how do I sympathetically and appropriately pull my cast out of what is going to be a huge emotional blow? Especially when I am not sure myself how I am dealing with it. My brain is just completely boggled. It was definitely not her fault - or anyone's fault, really. She is hanging on and doing as well as can honestly be expected though not as great as family would have hoped.

As a director, teacher, parent, mentor, you expect to be put into difficult situations. You expect to give advice, deal with wayward and struggling children, learn how to cope and teach how to cope with aspects of life. But then life happens.

. . . I know that I will need to say something on Tuesday. I will need to address this tightly bound group of 30 vastly different individuals and help them pull together and be stronger through this tragedy. I will need to lead, encourage, aide, and love each of them more than I do (if that is possible because I love them tremendously) to help them understand and accept and keep on keeping on.

I am terrified.

How does a person know what to say? Where does a person learn how to say it? When are we taught the appropriate ways to encourage, inspire, and lift?

Thank goodness I know about the power of prayer. Thank goodness I know that God directed me in the choosing of this cast. Thank goodness I know that He cares about this show - this beautiful, important, inspiring show. Somehow, someway God will be the One to carry us through. He will bring us together, make us stronger and better. He will lift our hearts and ease our minds. He will guide us through because He is with us.

"We will get through this together... They... You... and I."
Because that is the only way we can.

Quote from Camelot Act 1, Arthur

Daniel's Day

It was Mr. Daniel's Golden Birthday today. And it was a really super fantastic one. Well, I thought so anyway. And I think that he did, too.

He told me earlier in the week that all he wanted for his birthday this year was compliments. Usually he asks for socks. ;) So I was racking my brain all week trying to figure out how to best make that happen. I mean, I could give him compliments and my family could. We could make a book of words that describe him (but I actually did that a couple years ago...). Eventually I decided that throughout the day on Saturday, I would text/facebook our best friends and family and people who we love and ask them to in turn text Daniel a compliment for his birthday.

Seriously, we are surrounded by the most AMAZING people. I think every single person I messaged (more than 100) texted Daniel during the day. His phone was constantly buzzing and his grin just got bigger and bigger. I was so grateful for the wonderful people we know who were so kind and thoughtful and considerate and didn't mind me texting them. Daniel absolutely loved it. He got texts from 9 am to 9 pm.

He let me read a few and, you guys, I almost wanted to cry. Every person said very specific things that they loved about Daniel. Not just "Happy Birthday, you're great" but "You're a great father/son/brother/singer/friend/etc." and some even more fun to read than that. People all over the country and even our friends currently living in London texted Daniel to tell them how much they thought about him. I was blown away.

The rest of the day, we just took it easy. Daniel told me he didn't want to plan much. So we hung out together - went to a movie while Hannalyn napped, went to dinner, opened presents late, and spent a lot of time talking. It was soooo nice.

This guy. This guy! He is truly wonderful. A stupendous human being. I am so proud of him.

Happy golden birthday, Dan-the-man. I hope your year stays golden.
xoxo

High Expectations

I am a huge believer that what you expect of others (and yourself) is what they will give to you.

For example, in my second grade classroom, at the beginning of the year we spoke very specifically about the expectations they and I had for the year behaviorally, and for the quality of work and fun we wanted to have. Then we set a metric for how to measure if we were meeting the expectations and consequences for not meeting or exceeding expectations.

Well I take this everywhere I go. I am always disappointed when people complain about their children, their classrooms, or other groups they lead. Especially if I find that really the missing link is that expectations were either not set or there is no metric to measure by.

I had extremely high expectations for the students in my classroom. Those who observed my students were always very impressed with their behavior and work ethic. I also have high expectations for Hannalyn. "But she's only two" you say. "How can you control a two year old" you ask. It's not about control - it's about expectations. Children are much smarter than we give them credit for. Study child development 0-3 years old and you'll be amazed. I control what I can (schedules, diet, activities, etc) and make sure that when we're doing things that are routine that the expectations I have are met and that consequences are appropriately given as needed (consequences are not always negative - in case you wondered. a consequence is often a treat etc).

I have high expectations for my cast at Camelot. I honestly believe that had I not - if I had given into the disappointment that threatened to come when so few auditioned and so few were available during the summer - the last few weeks would have been much different. As it is, I resolved to do better than my best with what we have and I have been nothing but impressed with the outcome. I told my cast from the beginning that I was going to push them. I told them the consequences of not meeting the expectations for each rehearsal and for the show in general. I also told them the consequences for if they meet or, dare we hope, exceed the expectations that I have for them. I continue to push my cast because they exceeded expectations the first week and so therefore I can push them. I won't be satisfied with doing what has been done before, because my cast is better than that. I am grateful.

If you want to see this cast deliver a show that will change you - Camelot performs in Vernal June 20-July 2 every night except Sunday. You can stay with us. ;)

Collecting Thoughts

Hello.

How's that for an opening line? Ha. I wrote probably four different openers to this post, deleted each of them, and finally settled for a less-dramatic but probably more appropriate welcomer. 

I had someone tell me the other day that I needed to settle down. From their point of view, I am too busy and keeping my family too busy and filling our lives with too much busy. 

I refrained from telling this person to mind their own business. I politely listened and told them I was thankful for their concern. Inside, I tried not to be too upset. Each person is entitled to their own opinion (though about my personal life? maybe not) and so I really can't hold a grudge that if they were me they would choose something different. However they aren't me and I have made my choices. Thankfully my family has chosen me and to be with me. So, really, what else matters?

In the midst of all the busy, we've managed to find some good time to spend together. Particularly, last weekend, Daniel & I took a day trip to Orem while my parents watched Hannalyn so we could celebrate Daniel's birthday and attend a show at Hale Center Theater. It was an early birthday present for Daniel and we were so happy to be able to go. The show we saw was 'Jane Eyre' which is a long-time favorite of mine. I was first introduced to it when I was in high school and our junior high put it on. It was extremely ambitious for a junior high to do, but everyone was thrilled with how they did. It was the first show that I choreographed all the way through and I loved it. It was amazing to see it again. I love the story of Jane Eyre, though in my opinion the musical is much better than either the book or the movie. I cried a lot and felt so grateful to be reminded that "Forgiveness is the mightiest sword" and that I need to be "Brave enough for love". 

Since getting home Saturday night, I've thought a lot about what I want the remainder of my theater experiences to be like. 'Jane Eyre' really touched my heart and soul on Saturday and it brought a few things to my mind that I'd like to remember as I continue working on Camelot and open the Vernal Theater:

- sometimes no applause is a good thing. the emotion was at times so intense that the audience was rooted to their seats, their hands clasped tightly in front of them. it was amazing to me, since I know the show, to think there could be applause here but choosing to join with the audience in sustaining the mood without clapping. I hope that Camelot has the same effect because that is the right one.

- a show doesn't have to have a lot of set pieces/special effects/huge ensemble/fancy costumes to be effective. ok, it was a Hale show, so the costumes were awesome and definitely period appropriate but not nearly as ornate as I'd expected. it was the simplicity of the set and the way the director and artistic director skillfully envisioned the show to bring out the moral of the story instead of focusing on less important details.

- theater is a body and soul and mind experience. if we neglect the emotion, the intellect, or the spirit of the show, we do a disservice to the actors and the audience. each aspect is important and gives theater a deeper and stronger connection between actor and audience than other forms of entertainment. I am so excited to see shows in our little space and to learn from the performers. 

Overall, I realized how grateful I am for my cast. I've heard directors say that their cast is amazing before and sometimes I agree and sometimes I don't. (again that opinion thing) However I can say without a doubt that MY cast truly IS amazing and I love them tremendously. I know for a fact that I was directed by God to choose the cast I did and I could not be more proud of them. Three weeks in, and already I love the show as they are putting it together. The choices that each individual makes, the work they put in as a team, and the support that everyone has given to everyone has really created something that is beautiful. I told a friend of mine that I know, I know that this show can be a force for good in this world. Camelot is a story that we need right now. It is beautiful and timeless. I feel incredibly blessed to be able to be a part of it. 

Am I busy? Absolutely. Stressed? A little bit. Going crazy? Yup. Loving it? Without a doubt.

I chose this life. And I love it.

Book Review: Road Trip Collection

This is definitely one of my favorite collections. The authors brilliantly created six different stories, each about road trips, but each unique in setting and story-telling. This is a great collection that I enjoyed from beginning to end. Really, that's all there is to say about it.

If you are looking for a wonderful, clean, romantic read - this anthology is the choice for you.

What Falling Feels Like by Jolene Betty Perry
Antiques Road Trip by Sarah M Eden
Wouldn't It Be Nice by Ranee S Clark
Head Over Heels by Annette Lyon
Two Dozen Roses by Heather B Moore
Try, Try Again by Aubrey Mace

Find the Road Trip Collection on AMAZON and GOODREADS

photo 1-8

1. Blue - We've had some gorgeous skies around here recently.

2. Routine - Getting the mail is what we do. It takes 30 minutes because Hannalyn loves running around outside.

3. N is for... - Nashelle. obviously. ;)

4. Ball

5. Button

6. Air - hot air, steam.

7. This means a lot to me - this sweet child is my everything.

8. My Sunday - This little yellow flower given to me by a sweet child on Mother's Day and it quite literally brought some yellow sunshine into my day and made everything better.

Mother's Day

This year Mother's Day was a hard day for me. I wasn't feeling like a great mother on top of other emotional stresses and so wasn't as enthused about the day as I normally am. The short of it is, I was being selfish.

My day got SO much better when I wrote a note for my mom and helped Hannalyn make a card for her grandma which we then took over to her. Basically, when I started thinking about the moms in my life that have made a huge difference to me, I felt lots better about everything.

I thought about my mom and Daniel's mom. I thought about our grandmas and my great-grandmas. I thought about our sisters and aunts. I thought about my school and primary teachers. All of these women are magnificent. They were all in different places in their lives - some had children, some not; some were married, some not; but each has been divinely placed to make a huge difference in my life and in the lives of my family. It's amazing how blessed I am by the women that are around me. I am so grateful. My daughter has wonderful examples.

When it comes down to it, life is good. Hard and crazy but good.

Thank you for being a part of mine.

Update

We've gotten back into busy-ness. Our week "off" now seems very short. Camelot rehearsals have begun and we've got the bulk of the work still ahead of us. Though, I have been very pleasantly surprised and impressed with my cast members. They have stepped it up already. I am grateful for that because it means they will continue to do so and this show will be amazing.

During the day I spend as much time as I can with Hannalyn. She is very tolerant of me wanting to hold her and be near her all that I can, which is great since her two-year old energy can be exhausting at other times. Recently I've felt a desire to just continue keeping her close to me as much as I can. This age is going to pass all too soon and one day I'll wake up and she won't want to sit on my lap and let me learn with her. I'll take what I can get while I can.

Daniel & I are still looking for a house. We had found one...and then waited to long to make the offer and someone else got in before us. We're very disappointed because really, we thought it was pretty perfect. However, there are lots of other options, too. I mean, it is definitely a buyer's market in the Basin right now. So we're continuing that search while we also do everything else... We're busy people. But we love being busy and being with people.

So, really, life is good.
And I am grateful.