Book Review: Wedding Wagers

Three wagers. Three couples. Three chances at love. Let the bets begin.

From the bestselling authors Donna Hatch, Heather B. Moore, and Michele Paige Holmes comes a fantastic collection of stories unmatched by any to be found today.

A WAGER FOR LOVE by Donna Hatch: Phillip makes a wager that he will marry Meredith by the end of the Season. He starts by dumping her into a river on accident and then learns that her heart has been broken twice. Can he surmount the obstacles and convince her of his love? A fun story that had me laughing as the too-confident but very lovable Phillip fights to win his heart's desire.

THE FINAL WAGER by Heather B. Moore: Victor enters into a game of twenty-one which gets out of control quickly, ending with Southill betting his sister's dowry. After knocking him out, Victor is forced to deliver Southill at his estate outside London, only to meet Lady Juliet. This was a tender reading full of intrigue, surprise and of course, romance.

AN IMPROBABLE WAGER by Michele Paige Holmes: As a young child, Eli says that he will marry Emily and wagers ten years of his life that he will. The circumstances of life are determined to keep them apart until a chance accident brings them together and Emily finds that Eli has many surprises for her beyond his love. After reading many of these collections, I was grateful and amazed to find this gem. It was written in a style that was unique and a breath of fresh air while still following the style of the collection. I absolutely loved it.

GOODREADS

AMAZON

Book Review: Anna the Prophetess

A beautiful story told from the wonderful perspective of Anna in her old age sharing glimpses into her past with her niece. Anna is the only woman to be called a 'prophetess' in the Gospels. This makes her story immediately fascinating and one worth knowing. When Anna's niece is sent to live with her, Julia thinks that she will be bored and miserable. Instead, she learns that Anna's life not lonely but full of faith and service.

This inspiring tale sets the stage beautifully for the miracle of the coming of the Savior and shares a testimony of His divinity. Living with faith in any time is hard, but the example of Anna shows us that is not only possible but brings incredible joy.

GOODREADS

AMAZON

Disney Goes Broadway

Last weekend, we put on a night of Disney Goes Broadway at the theatre. We invited about 16 girls and 2 guys to come and sing Disney songs all night. We donated all the proceeds to the victims of the fires out here as well as to a local family suffering from cancer. It was an incredible success - completely sold out and so much fun. Adults and kids alike had a great time and we can't wait for the next one.

I got to be on the same stage with all three of my sisters for the first time and it was amazing. I love doing what I love with people who I love.

Top L-R: Fairy Godmother, Anna, Ariel, Pocahontas, Esmeralda, Cinderella, Giselle, Mulan, Belle, Meg, Moana, Rapunzel

Bottom L-R: Anya, Prince, Snow White, Jasmine, Tiana, Merida, Prince, Sleeping Beauty

Hannalyn Pics

We've been making the most of our last couple of weeks together before school starts by doing everything we can to have fun and be together. We went to a $5 movie matinee last week and saw Ferdinand. Hannalyn loved it and I loved watching her love it. It was the best mommy-daughter date.

Hannalyn's first assessment day. She got all dressed up and asked for a picture before we left.

We stop by the park by our house as often as we can and this monkey loves it.

Just playing with filters and having fun laughing at the different animals we became.

Life with this girl is so good. <3

why today sucked

Even though everything went the way that I wanted it to.

Side note, unimportant to anyone but me : I have some adorable pictures of Hannalyn I planned to share with this post but due to the hour of night and stuff I'm not going to upload them now. I will share them soon though. Because I am dying of her . . . Hannalyn-ness . . . right now.

That's right. Today sucked, despite it going how I wanted.

Ok. Not the whole day sucked, but a goodly portion of it. Probably more than should have because of my not-so-great attitude about the initial suckiness which bled into others things I did. BUT. I digress.

Today was a big day. Huge. Monumental. Today was Hannalyn's preschool screening day.

I messaged family members this week asking them to pray for her to fail the screening.

What?! Why would I do that? Why would I want my beautiful, happy, miracle child to fail her preschool screening tests?

Because she's stopped talking. She sometimes acts like she's trying or like she'd like to. I mean, I understand her 90% of the time (I mean, she's 4 so I don't feel like this is not accurate of other 4 year olds) and her aunts or friends talk for her the rest of the time, so she doesn't need to "talk". But I'm worried. Mostly because, if her life were meant to be lived at home with me (which right now I wish for more than anything. shhh don't tell) then it wouldn't matter. Since life is not that way - I want her to engage and talk with people in a successful manner and that means she needs to talk to them. And she doesn't. Can't? Won't? I'm not sure any more.

We've been praying for a miracle for a long time. We've been praying that the words she says SO CLEARLY will multiply exponentially and sentences will suddenly pop out of her mouth - similar to the way she started walking. Late(ish) but with no "first steps" that we got to celebrate. Instead we caught her going down the hall and she just never sat down. So we figured that's how it would go with talking. And for a while it did. And then she stopped. We made the decision to not have her visit with a therapist before putting her in school because she's stubborn about it. She won't interact with people if she doesn't want to - period - and I didn't want it to be an issue. I worked with her a lot at home and encouraged my family and friends who are the parents of her friends to engage with Hannalyn in specific ways so we could work with her at the park or wherever and it's been great. She communicates very well. She answers yes and no questions, follows directions like a champ and has so much attitude and spunk - rolling her eyes is a new adventure when she doesn't want to do something. Ha! But she doesn't speak.

As we entered the screening today, knowing that I wanted her to fail so she can get immediate support from this excellent preschool instead of support somewhere down the line, I think I was still holding out for that miracle.

Then each assessment was made and I watched in sorrow as my angel child failed every single one. Not because she didn't understand the question or didn't know the answer, but because she couldn't say what she knew. After a couple of the assessments, I asked if, instead of being asked to say the name of whatever she could just identify it and the instructors said yes but it wouldn't improve her score. I understand that (better than they know since I gave many of these assessments when I was teaching PreK and Kindergarten) but wanted them to see that the knowledge is there. And though she didn't say red, yellow or orange - she correctly identified each one. Though she didn't say horse, snake or scissors - she correctly identified each one (and moo-ed for everything because we are all cows at our house right now *sigh*).

My sorrow didn't lessen. The miracle didn't happen.

I had promised Hannalyn that after we finished the screenings that we could play at the playground by the school because she's been wanting to all week as we've been in and out with paperwork. So we went to the playground and she immediately scampered up to explore and I sat down and sobbed. All of the thoughts flowed through my mind. First worry and concern for her and what these assessments will do to her future - good and bad. Then fear as I realized that I'm not sure what to do to help her now or later. Lastly guilt because I didn't do more - didn't love her enough, didn't practice with her enough, didn't get her in to a therapist sooner, didn't try harder, didn't use my education effectively . . . Guilt because I failed as a parent and allowed my child to fail.

The briefest thought came to my mind as I sat on that (very uncomfortable) park bench watching Hannalyn run with joy and abandon on the playground:

Heavenly Father knows this feeling.

Heavenly Father sent us to this earth to be tested, knowing that we will fail. And He watches us fail every single day. Yet none of us who truly know Him would ever accuse Him of being a failure as a parent. In fact, we try to emulate Him in every way. Which led to my next thought -

Sometimes the only way to learn is by failing.

And while I never want my child to fail, she has to in order for the next step(s) to be most effective.

I didn't feel much better. I still cried for a while, and off and on during the day as I thought about everything. In fact, I'm still crying now. And probably will cry tomorrow. Every time a family member reached out to find out how it went, I cried. And I cried as I tucked Hannalyn in to her bed knowing that, despite my best yet imperfect efforts, she has her own life and struggles to be experienced and this is just one of them. She is going to grow into her own person and growing hurts. But I know, I know, that this is the right course of action and that it's going to turn out ok. I have no fears or doubts about that. I don't know if she'll ever speak in sentences or paragraphs or words. I don't know what her future will hold as she learns to communicate with others in her world. But I do know that she is being watched over by a Father in Heaven who loves her almost as much as I do. ;) And He is going to make sure that, whatever happens, she will be ok.

I just hope that I will be ok, too.

So we're entering a new world. I don't know what I'll do without Hannalyn for 3 hours, 3 days a week. I'm sure someday I'll enjoy the time but lately she's been the only thing keeping me sane and grounded and focused. There are a lot of changes coming our way - this is only the first of them. Things won't be getting easier any time soon, but with God and Hannalyn on my side we will make it through.

So today sucked. But it was also pretty great.
And there is nothing cuter in my life than watching Hannalyn hold her shirt out like a dress as she runs around the playground, curtsying when she is introduced to people, and sitting right by me for storytime. I mean, it's great. <3

After Annie Jr

We just finished a four-week production of Annie, Jr at Vernal Theatre: LIVE and holy moly was that an experience.

Auditions & callbacks were July 9. Rehearsals began July 10. Performances were August 1-4.

We cast 74 children out of 78 who auditioned (the others were not cast because of the strict scheduling guidelines we had to follow), and kept 71 through the course of the production. We rehearsed 17 times in 3.5 weeks and performed 6 times in four days.

It was an adventure. A really great one. And a big one.

At the end of the run, the thing I felt most impressed to tell the kids was this:

No matter what you choose to do in your theatre future - shows at VT:L, never again a show at VT:L, shows other places, never again a show, whatever - know that you matter. You have value. And no one - NO ONE - should ever tell you otherwise. If you are in a situation where someone tells you that because of your role in a production or because of a choice that you've made or because of the person that you are that you don't matter - get. out. Leave that environment. You matter. The world needs you. And no one should tell you otherwise.

I'm so nervous to send these kids back into the world. I have so much love for these young people and the amazing things that they are capable of and it scares me to send them out to a world that will treat them poorly or make them feel less. They will have good and bad experiences in that world and while I wouldn't take away their growing experiences for anything, I wish that I could shelter them a little more for a little longer. I saw a desperate hunger in these children for the Arts, for recognition, for family, for appreciation, for hope. I saw kids who couldn't sing an audition song have character and expression onstage. I saw kids who have never been given an opportunity to lead out take that chance and run with it - doing and creating amazing things. I saw kids come together and build friendships and ties that will last a lifetime.

The Arts give community. The Arts give value. The Arts give strength. The Arts give courage.

But the Arts give nothing if there is no one there to participate. The Arts need people - people to watch and to do, to listen and to sing. And people need the Arts. Kids included.

We need to give our children these opportunities. They are so hungry for it.

I hope the kids we had for just a short time, if they take nothing else from this experience, know how important they are. Know how much value they have. Know that no matter what - they have worth.

Because that is the greatest lesson of all.

seven

7 years. August 4, 2018.

You know, I wasn't too shaken by this milestone in our marriage. It's more than 5 but less than 10 and so it's great but just another anniversary. A great time to reflect and ponder what we want in our future but nothing earth-shattering.

Then I realized that being married for 7 years and me being 28 years old means that I've been married for one-quarter of my life. Of my WHOLE life. I mean . . . that really threw me. I've been married for 25% of my time on this earth? What?! For some reason that realization hit me hard and it's really made me think about, well, everything.

First, that I'm grateful. Gratitude is something I've struggled with lately. Not specifically, but just generally. I find myself so caught up in the rush that I take for granted the moments that matter. I'm still spending great time with Hannalyn every day and watching her grow this summer has done wonders for my heart while simultaneously making it burst as I realize how little time is left. But as I've thought the last couple days about being married for 7 years, I've realized how grateful I am to have found someone to be with me on this journey through life. A quarter of a life-time is a big deal!

Next, that I'm a little bit scared. And sometimes more than a little bit. We are not where we thought we would be when we got married 7 years ago. 95% of the time I am 100% okay with that and 5% of the time I am . . . okay. Don't get me wrong - I love my life. I love the life we have created together and we are happy. But realizing how much has changed in 7 years that feel so so short makes me scared for the next 7 years and how much will change again. I honestly do not have a life plan. Of course, now that I'm married no one asks me what my life plan is and so maybe it doesn't matter. But I've always had a goal in my mind of what I want to do and where I want to go and who I want to be. Lately, it feels pointless to make those plans because it's all going to change anyway. That's scary.

Last, that I'm a lot hopeful. Yes. Hopeful. I've been working through a book and have been stuck for a long time on "hope". My purpose in going through this book is to help me work through some problems in my life and turn more to my Savior as I do. I tried to do the first "hope" exercise and couldn't complete it. The book has sat by my bed for weeks as I've tried to figure out what I hope for, if anything. But I've realized over the last couple of days that a big part of the reason that Husband and I have made it 7 years is because we have hope. And faith. We hope for a brighter, better world where people can be happy because of the world they live in not in spite of it. We hope for Eternity.

It was a crazy weekend. We didn't get to celebrate the way we wanted to but felt so grateful and so blessed to have family around to support us. And a surprising number of people sought us out during the day just to tell us Happy Anniversary so that was sweet. Overall, we are happy in our unexpected life. We are happy to be together, happy to have Hannalyn, and happy that we know that our Lord and Savior lives and loves us.

So things are not perfect. In fact, this last year was one of the hardest we've had. But we are hopeful and know that by working together - eternity is possible. And that can get us through anything.