seniors – Mystery Deb

How My Spouse is Spending Retirement

My spouse, Bark (yes, with a B), has always had a number of interests outside of his career. He was an accountant in the healthcare sector for decades and had little time to pursue his interests in art, motorcycle riding, running marathons, and gardening.

His life changed two years ago when he finally retired. He didn’t jump into his hobbies because we were preparing to move. Until our old house was sold, he went back every week to maintain the yard and work on small repairs. He also tended the flourishing vegetable garden at our new home. A few short months after we sold our house, his father passed, and as co-executor, there were things he had to deal with.

Last September, he finally had time to sign up for an acrylics art course at our local seniors’ centre. He’d previously dabbled in watercolour and oils, but wanted to try something different. He’s been enjoying the classes and, since the centre was hosting a competition, Bark entered three of his paintings. All are based on photos he’s taken. The ones of our granddaughters, Ellie trying to open the door, and Abby waiting for her mom to take a photo, came from last year’s family vacation. Abby was almost two at the time and Ellie almost four.

The photo with Ellie won the People’s Choice award. The other two didn’t win a prize, but he’s still very pleased for having finished the works and gotten great feedback. He gave the paintings of the girls to our daughter for Mother’s Day.

I love the details in his work, especially in the Shanghai Alley photo. If you look closely, you’ll see a dragon on the lamppost, something in the window, and even an escape ladder on the side of the building.

I’m so impressed with the way he’s embraced retirement. For too many years, work was all-consuming. It took time for him to adjust, but he clearly has. If he produces enough work, he’s considering selling his art at the craft fairs I attend. I think we’re going to need a bigger car.

😊

Human Drama on a Sunday Stroll

conflicto_2[1] Last week I was out for a walk with my mom in her neighborhood. On her street, there are a number of assisted living facilities for seniors. Plenty of seniors using walkers are out and about on sunny days.

On our way home from the store, a man and a woman, in their 20’s or early 30’s, were having an intense discussion about thirty feet in front of us. She was carrying a bouquet of log-stemmed red flowers wrapped in cellophane. He had his hands in his jeans pocket and kept his head down while she did all the talking.

Suddenly, the woman’s voice rose in anger. She looked at her companion, then turned away again. At one point she stopped to face him and her voice rose a second time. With the traffic passing by on this fairly busy street, I couldn’t hear what she was saying and didn’t really want to, except to gauge if we were heading into a dangerous situation. Still, I slowed my pace.

My 84-year-old Mom doesn’t walk fast anyway, so as we lagged further behind the couple, I kept watching, wondering if things could spiral out of control. I also worried that they might be heading to my mom’s building and could bring their conflict inside.

Suddenly, the young man marched ahead a few steps, then abruptly spun around, and said, “Don’t tell me how I f—g feel. You don’t know how I feel!” He turned back and kept walking.

She said nothing, but continued walking and was soon beside him again. After a minute or two, more words were exchanged but in a calmer tone. They reached the three-way intersection, and crossed the side street. At that point, she abruptly turned right and crossed the street we’d been walking down. He raised his arms slightly above his head, then brought them down hard in obvious frustration. He watched her a moment, then turned left, heading in the opposite direction. By the time we reached the intersection, both had vanished, as if nothing had happened.

Writing about conflict is one thing, witnessing it in real life is something else. Human drama is everywhere. As writers, observing and capturing emotions of the moment is part of our job, but at that moment all I thought about was protecting my mom. What if one of them had been carrying a weapon? What if they’d spotted us and decided we’d been intentionally eavesdropping?

So I write about it now, wondering if those two people resolved their differences or if further drama will enfold in their lives.

Why Reading Is More Important Than Ever

Readingabook[1] Whenever I sell my books at craft fairs, I know that only a small percentage of attendees read novels. People generally don’t come to craft fairs to buy books, and some even tell me that they don’t read period.

How folks spend their free time is of course up to them, but a growing number of studies show that non-readers are not only missing out on great entertainment, but losing out on an opportunity to improve their mental state.

I came across a blog about a study that showed the positive impact of reading to combat loneliness, mental health issues, and dementia among seniors. You can read the blog HERE, and another link will take you to the full report (it’s 50 pages long, so I didn’t read it all), but the bottom line is that reading matters a great deal to one’s overall brain health.

In Canada, we do a good job of encouraging young people to read. Almost every parent I know read to their kids when they were toddlers and during their elementary school years. Reading and books are a big part of school life, but what about the other end of the age spectrum? What happens when real-life demands take people away from reading, and they’ve long forgotten the joy of immersing oneself in a good story?

If you know of someone, of any age, who’s suffering through loneliness, memory loss, depression, or other mental health issues, give them a good book, or take them on a trip to the library, or maybe even read to them. It’s a simple way to improve the quality of one’s life and might just help revive the joy of letting one’s imagination escape into brand new worlds. The more readers there are, the better off the world is.