Tuesday, May 27, 2008

thoughts on memorial day



Memorial Day. I was in a conflicted state, stemming from a mixture of deep appreciation for the enjoyments I have and sadness over the enjoyments others do not. It started out happily as ever with consistently light rain, oven keeping me warm enough to allow the windows to stay open so I could smell the rain and enjoy the breeze, while I baked the day away, singing with Judy Garland, Patsy Cline, and Roberta Flack.

Yet soon, my domestic bliss was intruded upon by thoughts of others who were not indulging in such pleasures at the moment. In China, thousands of babies, grandparents, mothers, all the loved and special ones still being frantically searched for with hope only to find a body to bury. Iraq. Another soldier killed, one who loved the children deeply, who said they made it all worth it. Tornadoes right here in the homeland. Families suddenly homeless, possession-less. Eunice Kennedy Shriver, 86, recovering from a stroke, says she still must save Darfur. She doesn't have time to lay around. I am a jobless, healthy, 33 year-old capable person. Why am I not doing anything? I know, I take care of my children but I have hours to spare that are currently being spent blogging, baking, and reading, reading, reading. Not to mention the priority given to catching up on my shows that are maxing out my DVR minutes, while I blog, bake, and read.

There are times when I feel guilty for the enjoyments I have. How can I be happy when I know that at this very moment someone in the world suffers in a way my cognition could never grasp? In the day or two following China's earthquake, Chad and I were having dinner at Cheesecake Factory, our biggest problem in life being how we were going to squeeze an appetizer, entree, and cheesecake into our bellies. Then it occurred to me that at that same moment, in China, mothers were sick to their stomachs with horror, waiting desperately for rescuers to find their missing babies, buried under piles of collapsed homes and schools. In Africa, right now children cry in hunger to mothers who have nothing to offer. I shared this thought with Chad, tears could have welled up. Instead, after only two seconds of contemplation, all was disturbingly forgotten. Back to savoring the eggplant sandwich and fries! I know, really, what could I do to help China right now anyway? What is the point in letting world atrocities and calamities kill your appetite? It's just unsettling to realize how many comforts I take for granted daily. The freedom, safety, and contentment that I did nothing to earn. Perhaps the nagging guilt is my conscience telling me that I can and should do more. But where happiness is reachable, it shouldn't be wasted, because who knows when we will be the ones who suffer beyond measure while people across the globe eat their lobster.

I decided to turn guilt into gratitude and savor the easy, attainable joy in my life now, taking nothing for granted.

Chad and I bought a huge salmon that we were excited to grill on the cedar planks we purchased recently. Now, it doesn't happen often that I cook a huge meal. I don't want to leave the impression that I actually cook every night. I don't even cook most nights. But when I do, it tends to get a bit overboard so we decided to enjoy it with the Doddridge family. We hadn't seen them for way too long, and it was a wonderful visit. There's Julie with Jack and Allie, making fun of my "fancy" cheeses!



Friday, May 16, 2008

My Grandmother's Etiquette


Of course, not all of this stuff is crazy and outdated. Much of it is still very sound advice. Take this bit on dieting, for instance. I have been guilty of thoughtlessly elaborating on my latest diet strategies to people who probably did not appreciate it. Original post is here.

Dieting, while not exactly a habit, is included for convenience in this chapter because, like smoking, drinking, and gum chewing, it requires consideration on the part of the dieter to keep his diet from being a nuisance or a bore to others. The same etiquette might well be applied to people who have allergies.

The points are very simple. Few of your friends want a blow-by-blow description of what you should and shouldn't eat, or how many pounds you have lost or gained. Certainly none of your acquaintances wants the details. So just let your appearance speak for itself, and be satisfied with your own feeling of virtue.


When you are being entertained, feel perfectly free to refuse a dish you can't eat, with a simple, "No, thank you." There's no need for an explanation...

Friday, May 9, 2008

Songs by Artie O'Daly


This is my friend Artie's new CD that I am LOVING. He's written and composed the songs his talented friends Theresa and Matt perform on the CD. I love every song! It's brilliant and inspired. And available on iTunes! Go here to listen. Artie, you're dazzling! SO very talented, driven, passionate... I'm your friend and adoring fan!

For Whenever I Need a Good Weep