If you had asked me two years ago what I thought about being single a string of expletives would have been my response, that and a lot of complaining about how hard it was to date and the impossible standards for women in the dating world and how men have it a lot easier and blah, blah, blah. I don’t know if it’s the full moon or the fact that all my married friends seem to be so unsatisfied, (at my age I only have one female friend who isn’t married), and maybe the full moon is affecting them differently, but all they do is complain. Many of them say if they ever divorced they would never marry again. Some say that having a husband is like having another child. I used to think and sometimes say, well at least you have somebody. You don’t have to worry about growing old alone. You have someone to talk to at the end of the day and someone to wake up to every morning. They just laugh and give me that look. They say they don’t talk about much anymore unless it has to do with the kids or scheduling or their talking has turned into arguing and I think, I remember that and it sucked hard. Even the people I know who were so in love in the beginning sound different when I hear their conversations and I wonder if their relationships will last. I also wonder why they stay, but I know the answer to that. Sometimes it’s easier to stay than it is to leave. The familiar is comfortable the unknown not so much.
Somehow I have been subscribed to all the emails about men and dating, these I used to read with a fervor. They describe in detail how to handle men and what to do in situations with men and what men want etc. I don’t even read them anymore. I think it’s because in all truth I don’t care. It’s not that I don’t care about what men want or how to act in relationships, it’s just that I don’t have that urgent need to please anyone except myself right now. I am so glad I didn’t just jump into another relationship after my divorce. Well that’s not true, I did start a relationship with someone and it was fulfilling to some extent, but I saw myself doing what I have always done. I have always gone from one relationship to the next with no space between and it has not served me or the other person for that matter. It may seem like 2 years of being single is a long time, but it has passed very quickly and I believe I am better off for having done it, because it is just now that I am seeing the benefits of having pushed myself to be with myself. And I know I am still not ready to be “hitched”, it isn’t time yet, there is so much more I want to accomplish for myself before I will be ready to decide who I want to share my life with. This knowledge makes me excessively happy. I hope anyone who thinks a relationship will be the answer to all their problems will decide to push past that discomfort and just wait to see what happens. You might just start waking up with a smile on your face everyday!
I think I am in good company when I say that these actresses who could honestly have pretty much any man they wanted have decided to stay single and are loving it!
Kate Hudson
Gabrielle Union
Renee Zellweger
Don't Date That Dude 