Allergy to writing:
Definition: A serious and debilitating allergy that can be brought on seemingly without cause or trigger. Causes the afflicted to avoid writing at all costs.
Symptoms:
- Excessive internet surfing
- Sudden urges to clean things that have not been cleaned in 6 months
- Can’t write if there is one drop of sound in the room, causing much frustration and yelling at the noise maker, who looks up very confused and hurt by your outburst
- Googling “Writing” instead of writing
- Netflix Bollywood movies are suddenly fascinating
- Netflix anything is suddenly fascinating
- Calls to Mom that have been avoided for 3 weeks are suddenly a top priority
Cure: Perhaps taking a short break from writing isn’t a bad thing. A two to three day spell to recharge cramped finger muscles, creative ideas, and enthusiasm for your story. The ultimate cure is to sit down and write. No matter the distractions.
~~~~~~~
Me: “Doctor. I am really sick.”
Dr.: “How so? You look fine at a first glance. Your complexion is normal, and you look relatively healthy. Although I’m curious about your hair falling out. Do you have any premature balding in your family?”
Me: “No Doctor. I’m a writer.”
Dr.: *Blank stare*
Me: “Ok. I lied. I don’t have anything published yet. I’m trying to be a writer.”
Dr.: “Go on…”
Me: “I’ve been pulling my hair out trying to figure out where to take my story next. My hero is hanging out with someone who was originally just a side character. My bad guy isn’t as bad as she should be. My sidekick ran away. There are sunglasses security guard elves trying to attack the hero. Now they are trying to attack back with …magic. Toss in the Sandman, a couple of murderous elves, one very confused hero who is really more of an anti hero, and I just don’t know what to do. Can you help me doctor?”
Dr.: “It appears that you have caught a very serious case of Writer’s Allergy. I am prescribing eye drops, a healthy dose of caffeine, and instruct you to get some rest when the screen goes blurry.”
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