Archive for August, 2009

Party Hard

Posted in Daily Bread on August 31, 2009 by dunnthat

There is a marquis outside of the housing development where I live where residents can announce to their neighbors and all who visit therein various and sundry fascinating things about their lives and their children’s lives. 

Several years ago some youngsters too smart for their pants started a contest to see who could post the most ridiculous untruths (you know who you are Megan). 

Announcements such as:  “Congratulations Steve on making the high school all-male synchronized swim team!”  And “Watch out!  Julie got her helicopter license!” 

Interestingly, the powers-that-be didn’t catch on until later than you would think. 

Good times.

Well, tonight as I drove home I saw a notification on the marquis:  “Happy 13th Birthday Maddie!  Lets party hard!!”

And yes, it did say “Lets” and not the CORRECT “Let’s.” 

So I was already undone.

But I got to thinking…what does “partying hard” entail when one is 13?  In Utah?

Ah, the visual of a bunch of wild 13-year-old females in the ‘hood …

Would that be extra dangerous head banging during Miley Cyrus’s “See You Again” at the sleep-over?  Or perhaps a little ice cream truck pole dancing at the over-nighter?  (Guess you had to see the Teen Choice Awards to pick up what I’m puttin’ down on this reference.)

Maybe singing a little TOO loudly to Demi Lovato’s latest?

Screaming like, well, a little girl, whenever Zac Efron flashes across the massive home theater screen?  (Okay, I have to admit, Zac is quite dreamy.)

Or eating a vat of chocolate chip cookie dough…

But the best part of it all…this was obviously a notification placed by the mother of said 13 year old.   Whose wish for her pre-pubescent is:  “Lets party hard.”

Huh.

Body Worlds

Posted in Daily Bread, In the News on August 28, 2009 by dunnthat

Much has been said about the photograph that showed up recently of Madonna and her arms.  Multitudes are concerned that she’s unhealthy and looks scary.  Some say the photo was photo-shopped. 

Madonna-Muscles1-241x300

Eh, whatever.  I think she is one of the reprehensibles of this world and I don’t care about her one way or another.

But what I DO find interesting is how much she looks like those plasticized cadavers from Body Worlds.

Doncha think??

body1bodyworlds_waveroller_450x350

Google me

Posted in Daily Bread on August 26, 2009 by dunnthat

Have you ever googled yourself?  Sometimes I do, just to see what pops up.  It’s never me, but there is a model makeup and hairstylist out there with my name.  She’s kind of cute.

I don’t really want to be famous enough to google.  At least my real name.

Now “dunnthat.”  THAT’S awesome to google.  I get “Brooks and Dunn..That Ain’t No Way to Go” or similar.  But on occasion my blog pops up.  Woo hoo!

But some mean person took dunnthat on blogspot, so I went to wordpress, which has worked out fine.  Except commenting on other people’s blogs who have blogspot can be labor-intensive.

But the blogspot dunnthat guys don’t even blog, you know?  So rude.

And the domain name of dunnthat.com is taken as well.  And THEY don’t do anything with it, either.

There should be a law.

Anyway, I was googling myself recently when I remembered an AWESOME “BYU fans and players are so arrogant” story…true story…

Happened at a party:

Two big guys, obviously football players, are at said party.  Turns out they are indeed football players from BYU. 

A nice well-wisher says to one of the guys, “Great game last week.”  And then went on to describe whatever it was that this guy did that was great.

Football player was very gracious and humbled by the nice comments.

Now the other football player was Austin Collie.  Some of you may have heard of him.

The well-wisher knew who Collie was, but in a moment of true brilliance said to him, “Do you play football?”

And Mr. Collie said, “The name’s Austin Collie. ”  Dramatic pause, then, “Google me.”

I just threw up a little in my mouth.

Musclemania

Posted in Daily Bread, In the News on August 24, 2009 by dunnthat

I am currently in training.  I have a goal in mind, motivated by an article I read:  

http://kdka.com/watercooler/bench.press.record.2.1131301.html

In short, an 85-year-old woman just “smashed a world record by becoming the first woman in her age group to bench press 55 pounds.”

First of all, props to the elderly lady.

But seriously, 55 pounds?  That’s the bar plus two small donut weights of 5 pounds and 2 1/2 pounds on each end for heaven’s sake.

This is a record I feel I can break.  Probably the only record I could ever break.

So I am in training. 

Oh it is SO ON!  See you in 36 years lady.

Once you’ve tried black

Posted in Daily Bread on August 22, 2009 by dunnthat

Ahem…as it were….

Sorry Kristen, you’re outnumbered.  I think this is the deal…of those who had opinions, it was my early readers who preferred the black and a newer reader who preferred the newer style.

Maybe it has something to do with product recognition?  Which, by the way, is really flattering.  You know, to be thought of in there somewhere.

Just so you know, I did get a few verbal non-commenty votes that don’t show up here.

So even though I find the black hard to read and I’m annoyed at the wasted left and right space, I’m going to go with the tried and true until I find myself with free mess around time again.

And here’s the thing…probably no one cares all that much anyway. 🙂

(New NEW readers will be really confused because they’ll only see the current theme, but you long sufferers will be in on the bottom floor.)

A word (or two) about this blog

Posted in Daily Bread on August 21, 2009 by dunnthat

On occasion I’m asked if I would mind if my blog address is given out to someone else.

HELLO!  Do you not know me AT ALL?

I unfortunately equate a good deal of my self-worth to visits to my blog (which I can count, btw – a daily/hourly telltale sign of my worth if you will). 

Sad but true.

Anyway, I write here in fairly anonymous terms, and this is a public blog, so the more the merrier.  I figure that those of you who (I said “yoohoohar har) know me don’t need me to identify myself, and those who may not know me don’t need to know my name or my children’s names, etc.  Plus, I have the power (He-Man) to delete any comments, and new comments are always approved by me first.  And, I can block any particular person from commenting.

So I feel fairly safe in opening this up to public viewing.  Until something awful happens I guess.  Which I don’t anticipate.

I don’t mean to sound pathetic, but if you enjoy what I have to say, YAY.  If you know someone else who might enjoy what I have to say, by all means, please share this site with them.  That would make me very happy.

And, to those of you who (snort) read this blog with any kind of embarrassment, thinking I would think it was weird if I knew you were reading, let me just say this:  au contrare mes amis (how arrogant is THAT I ask you…I don’t speak French, I don’t particularly care for the French, and I had to look up the translation on google).

Few things please me more (sadly) than knowing that what I write entertains someone.  

So I say this:  Read away.  Comment.  Tell your friends.  Tell your hairdresser.  Whomever.

Just try to avoid recommending this site to crazy people, okay?  And I mean crazy like serial killer crazy, not crazy like you like to ride the merry-go-round even though you’re an adult crazy.

¿Comprenden?  (I do speak a little Spanish)

P.S.  I’m still trying to decide on the look of the blog, so if you have an opinion on old vs. new, speak now or forever hold your peace.

Things I’ve learned from facebook

Posted in Daily Bread on August 19, 2009 by dunnthat
  • Who’s single, in a relationship, or newly engaged.
  • Who’s getting a divorce.
  • Who needs a nap.  And doesn’t get one.  Every day.
  • Who’s ten weeks pregnant.  Yep.
  • Who’s going to the gym.
  • Who’s just been to the gym.
  • Who just got laid off.
  • Who just got a new job.
  • Who just got in a car accident.  (Just a thought…PUT YOUR PHONE DOWN.)
  • How to make lots of money with any number of new companies.
  • How to look like a cartoon character.
  • Who’s moving.  And where.
  • Who went to dinner without inviting us. (Just a thought…maybe you shouldn’t post the pictures of all of you without us…just sayin’.)
  • Who’s going where on their mission.
  • Who has pneumonia.
  • Who broke a rib from coughing because of pneumonia.
  • Who uses facebook to promote themselves or their company.
  • Who got into BYU.
  • How to get rid of hiccups.
  • Events: day, time, place.
  • Whose friends have potty mouths (none of my friends, but their friends).
  • Who’s happy.
  • Who’s not.
  • How quickly a newly returned missionary can amass a boatload of friends.
  • Who’s on vacation and where.

I love facebook.

Hold a pencil

Posted in Daily Bread, In the News on August 17, 2009 by dunnthat

Back in the day it was fashionable to go braless.  It may be fashionable in the now, but I surely wouldn’t be up on that since my braless days are SO over.

Okay, I never did go braless, but at least I was in the know.  Ya know?

The fashion police dictated that a woman couldn’t go braless if she could suspend a pencil under her breast.  If you could do that, honey, you’re just too busty to pull it off.  I used to joke that I could suspend a Book of Mormon under mine.

See, that’s irony.  Just so you know.  Get it?  Book of Mormon? 

Oh, never mind.

Anyway, I was reminded of this fashion element of the 70s when I read a most interesting little shorty article in the paper last week.

A 500-pound 25-year-old inmate, arrested for selling illegal copies of compact discs, successfully concealed a 9mm gun under his folds of fat during his arrest search and even had a shower without the gun being detected. 

Scary criminal.

How was his concealed weapon ultimately discovered? 

He told a guard about it. 

Yep.

Evolution

Posted in Daily Bread on August 16, 2009 by dunnthat

It’s probably no surprise that since there haven’t been any entries for a week that I was out of town AGAIN.  Lake Powell!!  I love that place, but …

  • In the last seven weeks I’ve been home two.
  • How can muffin tops taste SO good and yet look so bad spilling over the top of my jeans?  Just wondering.
  • Similarly, why do I think that calories don’t count when eaten in Lake Powell?
  • Similarly, I ate a piece of delectable licorice, just a nugget mind you, that was a full 27 calories just for that small piece.  Why?  Why?
  • My friend made the most amazing cookies consisting of milk chocolate chips, semi-sweet chocolate chips, oatmeal, massive amounts of butter, walnuts AND pecans.  Celestial.  Truly.  I want one right now.  (I consider them to be healthy, because, hey – oatmeal, right?)

This post isn’t about Lake Powell.  I was just hungry there for a minute.

This post is about a natural evolution.  I believe it’s time to mature my blog appearance.  I’ve loved the black, but I think it’s kind of hard to read.  I’m trying this one out.

I like the new one because the old theme felt to me that there was too much wasted space on the left and right.

Do you like it?

Nobody’s perfect

Posted in Daily Bread on August 7, 2009 by dunnthat

Victor Garber is one of my husband’s favorite actors – especially in the Alias television series.  I like him, too.  Great actor. 

I’m working on clearing off my TIVO (work work work) and just finished up the great (yet canceled) series Eli Stone.

And I can’t stop staring at his left ear.  IT’S HUGE!!!  Every time I watch him in movies or on television, I’m mesmerized by that ear.

garber

ENORMOUS.

Does anyone else fixate on certain weird physical aspects of performing actors to the point of distraction?

Like, for another example:  Tom Cruise before he got his teeth fixed. 

And before he was a crazy couch-jumping cradle-robbing weirdo Scientologist.  Back when ignorance was bliss and I could just enjoy him in Top Gun without associating his weirdness to his performance.

I digress.

Honestly, his front teeth were off an entire tooth in the front…shifted to where the big tooth was right in the middle of his philtrum (the vertical groove in the middle of the upper lip).

cruise

Can you see it??

Concentrate.  That big front tooth is right in the middle.  Can you see it?

I dunno.  It’s probably just me.  I’m weird.

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