dunnthat

Okay, so I’m getting a little ahead of the game.  I realize this.  As my therapist-friend says, I am very “self-aware.”

(What she means by that is that I am very quick to own that I’m kind of weird.  Just sayin’.)

I love babies.  Aren’t they cute?  I just want to hold them.  And smell them.  And bury my face in their necks.  So precious…

Probably one of the greatest days in my life was about a year ago when I was holding a friend’s newborn and just loving the heck out of that infant, when my friend said, “That looks good on you!  You should have another one!”

Okay.  I am officially in love with this girl.  I said, “Oh sweetheart.  First of all, I am way too old.  Plus…I don’t have a uterus.  But thanks for the best day EVER.”

So, pretty much my baby love through ownership has to come to me in the form of grandkids.  For years I have been working on my “grandma” name.  My kids had a grandma and a nana.  And it was awesome.  Because we always knew who they were talking about.

I want that.

But I can’t be Nana.  That is my mother-in-law.  Love her, but I’m not her. 

I am stuck.  I don’t have a grandma name yet. 

But this is not my point. 

My point is that I have been thinking about being a grandma for a really long time.  I had number one so very young that I always thought I’d be a young, cool grandma. 

Too late.  Now I’m just going to be an old grandma like everyone else.

Sigh.

But the weird thing is this:  I keep seeing stuff I want to buy for my unborn grandkids.  Oh my gosh!  Aren’t there so many AWESOME products out there now for kids??  We did not have this cool of stuff back in the dark ages.

I remember I had some kind of table-top chair – I can’t even think of what it was called – but it was a seat moms could put the munchkins in while she, I don’t know, folded laundry or something.

The thing was pretty useless.  It actually had a vinyl belt that didn’t click or snap – it just kind of slid through a tiny silver buckle.  Just across the waist.  No other security.  The belt didn’t hold or anything – I honestly don’t even know what it was for except for decoration or something.

But it wasn’t a very pretty decoration.

Truly, this chair had no purpose.  But I had that chair.  Yes I did.  And one day, I was in a hurry when I needed to go to the store or something.  And I put that chair in the front passenger seat, and I looped the seatbelt over the chair, and off I went.

Looped.  Over the chair.  No hooks.  No binding.  Just…a loop.

On the way to the store I had to stop.  Fast.

And number one went flying up under the dash in his chair.

Honestly.  I don’t know how my kids lived through me.

ANYWAY.  Buying stuff.  Mostly I abstain.  But I have to admit….this week I made a purchase.

A Fisher Price Nativity Set.  That can be touched and played with.

Come on!!  How cute is that??  As my first daughter-in-law states, “You are at least five years away from that.”

I know.  I know that!  And really girls – no pressure.  I’m being serious for all of you who think I’m just saying that.  NO PRESSURE!

But seriously.  CUTE, right??