The Interview Panel

I ajusted my cheap, red tie which seemed to be too loud for the understated five star hotel-the venue of the interview. My suit, I felt was a shade crumbled and short and out of sync with the neatly pressed attires of a dignified interview panel. There was a Charlie Chaplin complex within. I was at a disadvantage; one of uneasiness as I started off.

I did not know the answers to the first five questions. That perhaps made me diffident.I picked up confidence out of that diffidence. That prodded me to draw them to what I knew rather than their asking me things I did not know. The Chair of the Panel, a very dignified old man seemed particularly patient. He said he appreciated my efforts to put things in a proper perspective. There was a lady member who seemed soft towards me. Or was it sympathy… One member seemed downright hostile if not contemptuous of my dearth of knowledge.

When I left the room, I was not sure if I would get the job… I did not care…All that mattered to me was that I had been honest.I had not bambozzled them with b***sh** even if I had not baffled them with my brilliance. I had recovered lost ground. I thought it was fifty fifty.
You win some… you lose some…
Would I get selected?

Author’s fears- of non completion.

I have not visited you for quite some time.
No apologies.
Cannot visit.
Am up aginst a wall.
Unjust Berliner Mauer.
Formidable, daunting, bleak cliff.
Between me and creativity.
Cannot climb.
Can see no stairs.
Can see no ladder.
Every attempt, I slip back, falter, tired.
Every page I type, stares back at me in derision.
Every word I draft, seems already writ.
Every effort I agonize, seems a futile bit.
Yet I shall chip the Wall, brick by brick.
To run and reach the freedom of creativity.

An Author’s nagging doubts…

Can I deliver excellence?
Can I manage the change I need to imbibe, to absorb?
Is there a unique value proposition in what I write?
Am I focussed in what I scribble?
Is there credibility in my writings?
Am I congruent with my readers?
Am I intellectually a stimulant
Have I updated my competencies?
Can I just engage my reader?

Author’s anxieties …

Where are the dots to connect?
Can I exit the unwritten past and live in my fairy tales now writ?

Is this garbage in?
How could I concentrate more?
Let my thoughts flow from my recesses?
Then scribe them on the walls of my history?
Will the reader read?

Author’s dilemma…

As I sit hunched over my laptop,
reams of drafts to choose from,
writ over several years,
some wasted breath,
some inacrnations of death,
some agonizingly, hopefully, alive,
I cling on, desperate,
shuttling between deletion and life,
deboarding trams midway, hesitant, lost,
scouring now, scurrying now, reviving now,
driftng , rudderless, unknown, compass stuck,
Rehabiltating all I can.
All I know is:
I have to write to move onward.
I am at the gates to the serene woods.
I can hear my soft knocks on creativity’s heart.

An Author and his work…

Is it vanity? Or is it creativity? This urge to write…
Even if it is vanity, (my friend Patrick feels it is so) , it keeps my mind active.
I am compelled to think. I am compelled to think as I type.
To blog , I have to read too. So I end up reading and writing.
That is a good thing to do in a swift transforming world.
This is the age of discontinuity as Toffler said.
So I try to change myself.
I want to change from a mundane being to an intellectual tortoise.
I cannot change others.
I can change myself.