A while back, California was proposing that all motorcyclists had to wear helmets because too many were dying of head injury accidents. You should have heard the outrage to this idea! Well, it passed, and today, virtually all motorcyclists in the big state wear helmets, there are many fewer head injury deaths, and you don’t hear any complaints.

This is a perspective for health care reform passed this week. Some citizens are complaining they have to have health insurance. If the California motorcycle helmet model is repeated, health care may result in fewer deaths from preventable illnesses. This is because, with insurance, everyone will be able to see a doctor, hopefully well before they get too sick. And those visits are less expensive than visits to an emergency room. So like the upset motorcyclists, the complaints may go away.

It’s too bad some people are reacting to health care with hate. Here’s what Martin Luther King said about hate, back in 1963:  “Like an unchecked cancer, hate corrodes the personality and eats away its vital unity. Hate destroys a man’s sense of values and his objectivity. It causes him to describe the beautiful as ugly and the ugly as beautiful, and to confuse the true with the false and the false with the true.”   

Whatever our response to health care, let’s discourage people from hate!

30 years ago today, March 24, 1980, Archbishop Oscar Romero of El Salvador had just finished his sermon at a small hospital chapel when he was assassinated by a sniper. He was martyred while fighting for the poor in his tiny Central American country.

     I say a sad goodbye to a friendly place.

We live in an urban area, and when I want coffee or a snack, I walk across the block to our local Au Bon Pain cafe. I have been doing this pretty much every single day since we moved here in 2008. In fact, we have not yet unpacked our coffee pot, because I find it so easy to go to this cafe for a “bottomless” cup of fresh coffee. I read the paper, write in my journal, do some work before my office opens on the west coast, chat with friends, often have breakfast or lunch. It’s our neighborhood hangout and I love it.

This morning, as I head over to the cafe, I am looking forward to reading about the new health care law in my Wall Street Journal and NY Times. I see a taped note: “This Au Bon Pain has closed its doors. We thank you for your patronage.”

That was it. No chance to say goodbye, no last cup of coffee, no time to grieve with my fellow customers. This has shaken me. Changes to your daily life can be rough, especially a change like this one that I was not expecting.

 This has been an historic weekend! We spent Saturday walking all around Boston, the home of Paul Revere. In the background, you see Old North church, the site of the famous “One if by land, Two if by sea” poem about the British attack on the American patriots in 1775. And we strolled the Boston Commons, where those same British were camped until General George Washington finally drove them out, setting up Boston as the philosophical center of the American Revolution.

So Sunday, when we get back, history is happening before our eyes. We watch the final debates as Congress passes Health Care. This is truly historic, on the same level as Social Security, Medicare, and Civil Rights. Now every American will have insurance, even students and people who work for themselves, like me. I believe it’s so much better to be able to afford to see a doctor when your ailment is small, rather than waiting until you, or your loved one, has to go to the emergency room. Like any historic event, we’ll be talking about this for a long time! 

Today, Saint Patrick’s Day, as I read the latest health care reform news, I am proud to be RC – Roman Catholic. I read that representatives of 600 Catholic hospitals and 59,000 Catholic nuns and sisters, today encourage swift passage of Obama’s health care reform. They make the argument that to cover most uninsured outweighs possible drawbacks of the plan.

Catholics have been getting bad press these days, some of it deserved. So to have such influential groups take a forthright stand in favor of helping people, is very gratifying!

Mark Twain once said, “Keep away from people who belittle your ambitions. Small people always do that, but really great people make you feel that you, too, can become great.”

In the 1800’s, Mark Twain lived in a huge mansion in Hartford Connecticut, where his memory and quotes like this one can be kept alive for us today.

Here are some insights from Michael Beck on this quote:

Stop trying to be normal. It undermines success and keeps us in a state of mediocrity.

This idea of being “normal” starts to take hold in high school. There begins to form this desire to “fit in” – to be part of a group. Along with that comes the desire to be an “insider”. This need to belong and to be an insider can be very strong for many people.

Although challenges and insecurities from our high school days may be behind us, that need to belong – to be part of the group – can still be very strong. It’s when this “wanting” turns to “needing”, that it becomes detrimental to a person’s success.

This may occur when a person has an “external frame of reference” rather than an “internal frame of reference”. Having an external frame of reference means looking outside of one’s self to determine the truth of things. Things like right vs. wrong, appropriate vs. inappropriate, and successful vs. unsuccessful. When a person has an external frame of reference, they look to others for approval. They base their self-worth and their self-image on what others think and say about them.

Conversely, having an “internal frame of reference” means looking within one’s self to determine the truth of things; to determine right vs. wrong, appropriate vs. inappropriate, and successful vs. unsuccessful. When a person has an internal frame of reference, they don’t look to others for approval. While recognition and praise are meaningful to someone with an internal frame of reference, these aren’t the driving forces for their actions. They base their self-worth and self-confidence on what they know to be true about themselves.

Which brings us back to the idea of being “normal” which – by definition – means being “average”. Many people – in an attempt to fit in and belong – spend their lives striving to be average. Sometimes they do it consciously and sometimes they do it unconsciously. Sometimes by intent, sometimes inadvertently. But it can happen nonetheless…

A person is striving to be average when they purposely minimize themselves and their dreams so that associates, family, and friends don’t belittle them for dreaming big. A person strives to be average when they do just enough on a job to get by.

It takes courage to break away from “normal”; to separate ourself from the crowd. We risk not fitting in and not being accepted by the group of people we’ve been a part of. We risk feeling embarrassed if we don’t achieve our goals when we said we would. We risk being disappointed and frustrated.

But as we strive for and reach personal goals – we grow to become our own person.

The decision to separate ourself from the crowd comes from within. It arises from a desire to realize our full potential and a resolve to take responsibility for our future. Sometimes it’s a lonely path. Sometimes it’s hard. But one thing for sure: it’s always worthwhile.

I think this is what Mark Twain was writing about.

“Reveal not every secret you have to a friend, for how can you tell but that friend may hereafter become an enemy. And bring not all mischief you are able to upon an enemy, for he may one day become your friend.” – Saadi, 1184-1291

I read this in one of my online newsletters. I made a mental note that it was clever, but then I deleted it. I kept thinking about it. Finally I retrieved it the next day, and here it is. I don’t even know who Saadi is. Can anyone enlighten me?

There is truth in his words, especially the second part. Life is so short, and people are so connected, that burying someone you dislike can really come back to haunt you. Better not to burn bridges. Like my Irish grandmother used to say, “It’s a long road with no turning.”