Monthly Archives: October 2007

Internet Community, or Just a New Way to Play With Yourself?

What does it mean when the people you interact with most on Facebook are the people you live with?

I like that I am connected to people in my past. And by past, I mean just the last couple of years. We recently moved across the continent, and all those folks I got to know are now my “friends” on Facebook and Myspace. Whereas in my distant past those kinds of contacts would just have been lost, because no one calls or writes real letters, now I can say hey once in a while. Cute.

Gives me a way to minimize the trauma of moving to a new place, a town we aren’t going to stay in long term so there’s no point in trying to make new friends. But other than soothing my lonely ego, why bother?

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Halloween: Not Just For Kids

I’ve always loved Halloween – a pleasure that was condoned until I was 13. Now, at the ripe old age of 30-something, some people want to know, why do you still get into it? Well, I’m not alone. Sixty-three percent of Americans celebrate Halloween, with 30% of the adults joining the kids in costume, according to the National Retail Foundation’s Consumer Intentions and Actions Survey. Americans spend more than $4 billion a year on candy, costumes, cards and decorations for Halloween, and the holiday’s popularity has been spreading internationally. Halloween became popular in Britain after “E.T.” arrived in theaters and demonstrated the unbeatable fun of trick-or-treating. Germans see fit to blow more than $100 million a year on the holiday. And in Romania, home of the Dracula myth, revelers brave the haunted night to attend parties with vampire themes.

But the question remains in some people’s minds: why would adults enjoy participating in Halloween?

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Hot Dogs

Why do we call them “hot dogs” and expect kids to eat them?

One of the first words my daughter learned was “hot,” which of course was associated with “No!”, “Don’t touch!”, and “Run for your life!” So when a plate of food was set in front of her and Mama said, “Blah blah blah HOT blah!” she would certainly have nothing to do with it.

Then she learned what “dog” meant, with its close ties to “kitty,” “bunny” and “dolly,” so as expected she looked at me with horror when I suggested that she eat one.

Two strikes, in this case, and you’re out.

I’ve started to call them “weiners,” a la Oscar Meyer.

We shouldn’t run into any trouble there for a while.

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The Last Paper Towel

She never envisioned herself living so intimately with poverty, at certain times of the year having its skeleton hand squeeze hers so hard she couldn’t be sure she wouldn’t break.

Never thought she’d be this hard broke, this far below the line. Never in her college classroom did she plan for her career to be Scrounger of Coins in the moldy nooks between the carpet and the wall. Never, while the wedding ring was being slipped over her finger, did she think of when they’d need to hock it, didn’t calculate how many eggs it’d buy.

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The Buck

Good morning boys and girls!

As part of our continuing series investigating wildlife at the Greasy Spoon, today Professor e is going to teach us about an elusive creature known as The Buck. All too often The Buck lives a solitary life, found on a dirty table once occupied by stingy, over-demanding diners who leave the helpless Buck to face the Wrath of the Waitstaff alone.

Sometimes found in groups of four or more, these herds are commonly referred to as A Decent Tip.

The Buck is distantly related to the Fiver, a rare breed known to cause many waitstaff to break out in a satisfied smile.

An even more remote relation, commonly called the Ten Spot, is presently on the Endangered Species list. An enounter with the Ten-Spot causes a chronic condition known as Guaranteed Good Service.

While the Buck is generally regarded as harmless to humans, as well as being near useless, it has been known to be occasionally booby-trapped with a sticky glob of Somethingorother on its back, so Table Bussers are encouraged to handle them with caution.

Also, Professor e strongly advises that Waitstaff resist the temptation to hurl a pot of hot coffee after the chintzy customer who escaped with the rest of the lonely Buck’s herd.

She reminds you that there will be ample opportunity to inflict revengefully poor service should the offending party ever return to the scene of the tragedy.

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Before being seated…

[This is a piece I wrote a few years ago when I was waiting tables and needed to let off some steam…]

Customer Service Contract
In the true American spirit of litigation and red tape, we have developed the following service agreement to serve you better!
Please take a moment to sign this and return it to the hostess.

I, the undersigned, do solemnly swear to adhere by the following rules and regulations:

Item #1 — I agree that I am not the only person in the universe. I agree that there are other customers in this restaurant who want attention as much as I do.
(ATTENTION: If you regularly tip more than 20%, you may disregard the previous condition and consider yourself the only person in the universe.)

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Giving Birth

This blog is addressed to any parent who is interested in natural childbirth.From what surfing I’ve done, it seems a popular topic is blogging about pregnancy and writing up birth stories. This is great.

I do become concerned when I see a perpetuation of the normalization of traumatic birth. If all you knew of birth came from movies and tv, you would “know” that every woman screams in agony, curses horrible things at her partner, and is at the mercy of the medical staff. If you add to this the testimony of people who are voluntarily steeped in modern medicine exclusively, you will end up with the conviction that childbirth has to be the most painful thing ever, that epidurals are necessary, and that whatever can go wrong probably will.

I want to put my testimony out there as respresenting a large community of women who have given birth naturally and lived to tell about it joyfully. It can be done, and you do not have to be superhuman to do it. You can be a big wimp like me and it is still possible. Continue reading

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Facebook Freakout

A couple of thoughts in response to criticisms I’ve read about the latest craze.

Facebook arrives at the backlash stage.

Or maybe it really has just gone to hell the way people are complaining. But they complain in the same pompous, elitest tone that the aristocracy would use if the gardener crashed their party; “Who let HIM in? Pshaw, harumph, grumble…”

So it’s gone from the college uppercrust to the proletarian underbelly. So they’ve added a build-your-own-graveyard and a way to bitch slap your friends. I see where the critics are going with this. It’s become juvenile. People are having too much fun.

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Our Disposable Lives

Our possessions — we give them a monetary value; we defend them with guns, security alarms, insurance; we flaunt them to represent our identity, our status, our personal worth.

Our stuff takes up important physical space and mental energy in our daily lives.

But how much does all that stuff contribute to our well-being?

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The Ten Best Things About Being a Raiders Fan

1. The coolest logo ever

2. The best colors ever

3. You can appreciate them being in Oakland the way you never did before their defection to LA

4. They can’t ever disappoint you any more than they already have

5. When they win it is as awesome as Christmas, since they are both events that only happen about once a year (although this year they’ve won twice so far! woo hoo!)

6. If you’re from Oakland (like yours truly) then you can’t be accused of being on the bandwagon, you’re just given props as an extremely loyal fan who won’t abandon their team during their decades of trouble

7. If you’re not from Oakland, you can’t be accused of being on the bandwagon, since to be on the bandwagon implies you are rooting for a non-hometeam just because they happen to be winning

8. They always get one of the first picks in the draft

9. If you’ve ever been to the Oakland Coliseum (now called McAfee), you know it is next to a really cool building that looks like a toy drum

10. It gives you yet another reason to hate the 49ers

Did I forget anything? Can we make it 11?

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West Coast Rudeness

Are people on the West Coast more rude to each other than people in other parts of the US? I know, I know, don’t generalize, there are good and bad people everywhere, individuality, etc. But you know, when you see a trend, sometimes you just gotta comment.

Earlier this year I moved to North Carolina after having lived in California and Oregon, in big cities and small towns, for my entire life, so that would be, let me see, add this column, carry a two, multiply by four, right — 36 years.

Thirty-six years on the West Coast, and I always vaguely suspected that we all hated each other, but I had nothing to compare it to.
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Powerful images

Like some powerful sorceress, I could at this very second put a million dollars in my pocket, become Cleopatra, or commit murder.

Of course, it would all take place only in my imagination.

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Grades are evil

A “necessary” evil, some would say. But why necessary? Because, for economic reasons, we insist on having far more students per class than an instructor can possibly give adequate individual attention to. I think most people accept the traditional evaluation process as “just the way things are” and forget that this is a choice we continue to make with our budgetary priorities. “Things” could be different.

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A Passion for Words

Though my interest is often piqued by all kinds of subjects, my biggest passion is for words. I’ve always enjoyed writing in many genres, although I have come to hate the literarily analytical essay, in the same way as if I had forced myself for years to eat chocolate at times when I had no inspiration to do so, and was prevented from eating chocolate when I craved it, I would certainly have come to despise chocolate.

Here is where I come to the heart of what “unschooling” means to me: learning that becomes effortless because it is borne on a wave of curiosity and desire.

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Defining different approaches to learning

I would like to define some terms so that those who are not familiar with alternative educational movements can get an idea of the differentiation between the approaches, and those who are familiar with alternative education will know my particular take on it. I recognize advantages and disadvantages to each approach, which I will explore more fully in future essays. My objective now is simply to have a starting point and an overview.

Traditional School — studies are compulsory and involve a predetermined curriculum, though some subjects may be elective in nature; grades are almost always used; exams are a fundamental tool of evaluation; classes tend to have more than 10 students; the teacher is the expert and the authority to be obeyed, mimicked and accepted absolutely; the process of learning is tied to a building, location, establishment

Homeschool — purposeful education not tied directly to an establishment; can involve grades, worksheets, exams, an authoritarian facilitator; if there are classes (e.g. large families or homeschoolers getting together) they would be much smaller than in traditional school so that students get more individual attention; generally still involves the idea that a grownup has decided that there is a subject that needs studying and the child is convinced, by whatever method, to learn it; some type of evaluation is necessary to ensure that the target subject matter of the curriculum is successfully acquired

Unschool — what might be described as “accidental” education, meaning the learning is driven by student curiosity without bounds (other than safety and appropriateness of subject matter); subjects combine in an organic fashion so that a sudden interest in frogs might lead to biology, measurement, reading, and/or art; basic skills are learned not for their own sake but because they are vital tools to explore a chosen subject; the facilitating adult often learns just as much as the student; the idea of evaluation becomes irrelevant because there is no predetermined body of knowledge that must be acquired; the authority becomes the subject matter/reality which all participants are willingly exploring/analyzing/studying or whatever their approach happens to be, absorbing input without focussing on the act of learning itself

Free School —(sometimes even called “Free Skool”) A combination of all three approaches, wanting the advantages of a pooling of resources, community, and a set location provided by a traditional approach, the smaller classes and individual attention of a homeschooling approach, plus the open possibilities and student control of unschooling. From my experience with an alternative school as well as accounts I’ve read, such as A.S. Neill’s book “Summerhill,” I envision classes offered that students are free to choose or reject, with each class coming to their own understanding of grades, exams, etc., as well as free time and resources to explore, study and/or work on whatever the individual is inspired to put their energy into

I admit having had in the past, with vestiges probably visible presently, a strong aversion to traditional school, though personally I was highly successful in that environment. As my older children have entered public school I have seen firsthand the advantages of this setting for them and have tried to minimize the disadvantages. This on the heels of having my ideal of a free school come into serious question with my experience at an alternative school. I believe I am moving toward a somewhat detached objectivity, realizing that nothing is perfect, though we must always strive for perfection. I know that my love of this world has only grown, and my joy of learning and of being present for others’ discoveries about this world will always keep me interested in trying to work out the best process and environment for education. For those reading this who share similar interests, I hope we can exchange ideas, dreams and experiences to enrich each other’s understanding.

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