I raised my kids to question authority. Respectfully. One day I’ll write how this drives my parents crazy.
I also raised them knowing one day they would rebel against me.
My mom had a philosophy of if you give your child something to rebel against, they would. My grandparents were strict on their oldest two children, my aunt and my mother. So the teenage girls wore modest clothing out of the house and dressed in more teen-appropriate attire at school. The dressed back into the modest clothing at home before their parents came home from work. They put on make up at school and washed it off at home before their parents returned. They bummed cigarettes from their parents because with two smokers, no one was keeping track. Every time they asked to go out, it was a no. Sometimes a maybe.
So when my mom raised her own teens, she did things different. If we asked to go out, as long as my parents had the info, the answer was usually yes. I could wear makeup. But the clothing was an issue in my family; my parents’ threats felt like promises. So I never dyed my hair or got that belly-button ring. My brother got more freedom and pushed that envelope to the edge. (I stand by what I said.)
So now I’m raising my own teens, and the rebellion has started. It’s late. It’s not too heated or dumb. My children and I tend to be on the same side against a couple of others in our lives, so they aren’t pushing me that hard. Common enemies help.
But rebellion has come, nonetheless.
***
Me: Are you going out running?
Tornado E: (in his regular clothes heading for the door) Yeah.
Me: It’s 1pm and 108 degrees.
Tornado E: So?
Me: No. Running.
Tornado E: You can’t stop me. (goes out the door)
Me: You better have sunscreen on!
Me: (When he returns from his run) Drink water!
Tornado E: But Mooooooom!
Me: We live in a desert. It is summer. You were outside. Running. Drink. Water. Now.
Tornado E: Fine!
***
Me: Did you shave your legs?
Tornado S: Yes.
Me: Um. Curious. Um. Why?
Tornado S: I like how it feels. And society can’t tell me what to do.
Me: Do you need me to buy you razors and show you how to do it?
Tornado S: Yes, please.
Later that week, Tornado S is cussing and yelling from the shower as he shaves his legs. I am dying with laughter.
My dad: Is he … shaving his legs?
Me: Yeah.
My dad: Why?
Me: Because he likes it and society can’t tell him what to do.
My dad: Huh.
Me: Listen, I have 14 year olds with huge tattoos in my class. Like take up most of the arm tattoos. I’ve got students with crazy piercings and hair styles. If this is how Tornado S wants to rebel, I’m getting off easy.
Tornado S: (from the shower) WHY IS THERE SO MUCH BLOOD?
My dad and I start laughing.
My dad: He may live to regret this.
Tornado S: IT’S SO MUCH BLOOD!
Me: I’m so glad he doesn’t get periods. He would lose it.
***
Tornado A: I’m not going.
Me: You’re going.
Tornado A: I’m not going.
Me: You’re going.
Tornado A: I don’t want to.
Me: I didn’t ask. You’re going.
Tornado A: I’m not going.
Tornado E: Shut up and get in the car before she makes you. It’s just a hike.
Tornado A: I don’t want to.
Tornado S: She’s just going to make you. Just deal with it.
Me: Get in the car.
Ah, teenagers….

