Faemom

I’ve been a single parent for 13 years. My BFF would argue it was longer but officially 13 years. Somewhere in that time I realized I wanted to take my kids on family vacations like I had. (Cue montage of being bored in a car, the time we ran out of gas in the New Mexico desert, the truck catching on fire, parents arguing, also lots of swimming and amusement parks.) My ex wasn’t big on family vacations, and so I was starting a new tradition. Yes, I was intimidated, but I wanted to build memories for my kids. I, too, wanted to be the fun parent.

Here is how I was successful.

1. If you’re new to this, start small. Our first trip was 2 hours away. We crashed at people’s houses. Those friends made my kids feel special with treats and surprises. It gave me courage to do a 6 hour drive the next summer. Then the 8 hour drive year after year.
2. Be prepared. Overly prepared. What can go wrong will go wrong. Maybe I should do a post on everything that has gone wrong on our vacations. It’s actually hilarious. So bring plenty of snacks, drinks, clothes, tools, medicine, toys.
3. Budget. Make sure you have extra money. Single parent with a teaching job and bad divorce settlement here. I know this may be hard, but it will be worth the stress if you have a few extra hundreds around because you have to stay an extra day or an emergency. Or it’s nice not to worry about money when you find unexpected funnel cake.
4. Snacks. We can’t fly because we’re poor. So we drive. We will always go to California because that’s where our favorite person lives. So it’s “an 8 hour drive.” With gas, food, and bathroom breaks. Going the speed limit. When the boys were young, I couldn’t trust them with a snack basket. So everything was pack individually in the front with me. Popcorn, my mom’s Chex Mix, Pirate Booty (the kids’ favorite), fruit leathers, raisins, trail mix. I also make cookies, bars, and other snacks for travel and breakfasts. We have also has picnic lunches on our travels.
5. Drinks. Dehydration causes irritation. For adults and children. I always bring a ice chest with me. I always make sure hotels have a mini fridge. When the kids were small, I bought a jug of apple juice and watered it down. When they were young, I bought a big jug of Hawaiian Punch. Now it’s juice boxes, Gatoraid, water, and some soda. I have a caffeine addiction. I bring a case of soda.
6. Know your location. Know where a drug store is. Know where a grocery store is. Know where a box store is. We typically go to the grocery store for supplies for picnics. I have had to make late night runs for medicine. The first year at the beach they dumbed an inch of sand all over the floor of the car, but I knew where I could find a do-it-yourself car wash.
7. Plan. Nothing is worse than bored kids in a hotel room. I make a plan of way more than we can do. I have a tier system, so I know what to drop that’s not important. I estimate how long we will be in a location. Learn all about free activities in the area. Find the parks and beaches. Find all the zoos and museums. Learn about weird things to do and see. Plan for down days after big busy days.
8. Do something you want to do. Do something they want to do. My parents did this. They never did anything we hated. But they made sure that we all had something we wanted to do. My rule is we have to do something educational on the trip. A museum, a zoo, something. We always do one amusement park day.
9. Bring boredom squashing things. I’ve always brought trivia cards and games with us for waiting for tables, waiting for food, waiting for the ride. I’ve purchased little toys and fidget toys. Again tired, thirsty, bored kids waiting is not helpful.
10. Stay calm. My boys believe nothing has ever gone wrong on our trips. They’re wrong. Very wrong. But I always keep my cool. Arrive at the beach and pay a huge parking fee to find the kids sleeping, cool; I’m going to read and eat cookies with the car windows down. Kids are fighting over the remote control, cool; let’s go to a park. Kid vomits everywhere, cool; that’s why we have plenty of clothes and wipes. Mom gets sick, cool; we stay another night.

I may explore some of these tips a little more because there are a lot of stories behind them.

One tip that works for my family but may not for yours is we never stay at the hotel room except for sleep. When my parents finally gave up the camper and saved money staying at hotels, they enjoyed down time in the afternoon. Once my boys were too big for naps, this was disastrous for us. I learned going to a beach or park during the afternoons (especially after big days like to an amusement park) was better. One kid was always ready to chill and would lay next to me on a blanket while the other two romped. Then the refreshed kid would get up and romp while another kid would relax next to me.

Remember to take lots of pictures. Remember to have lots of conversations. Remember to make lots of memories.