The Book of Lists

July 25, 2023 — faemom

2020 broke my brain.

Like most people’s brains.

The combination of generational and international trauma on top of depression, anxiety, and a hint of nihilism just put my brain in a weird space that made me cynical, frustrated, and forgetful. Once I noticed it, I hated it.

The Summer of 2021 gave me 2 goals. Goal one: lose the cynicism and jaded out look. Goal two, figure out how to reboot my brain. Why was I forgetting to do things that I never forgot before? Why was my brain zoning out? I might as well have a little wheel spinning in front of face, repeating the words loading … loading… loading… Thanks. I hate this.

So I remembered what I always did when I needed to get things done. Write a list.

I wrote lists on chores. Wrote lists on goals. Wrote lists on plans. Broke plans into lists. Write lists for what the boys needed to do. Lists of what needed to be bought.

We had two trips that year. So I wrote packing lists. I wrote lists of where to go. Lists of what to do. Lists of where to to eat. All inside a notebook that I titled “The Book of Lists.”

But then I did something so very nerdy.

On the way back from our first trip, as we ate, I asked the boys what they enjoyed. I wrote that in The Book of Lists. I asked the boys what they didn’t like. I wrote that in The Book of Lists. I asked the boys what they would change or what can be improved upon. I wrote those answers down in The Book of Lists.

I used those answers to change things for our next trip. It worked beautifully.

Then I did it again. I asked the boys at the end of the trip what they enjoyed, what they didn’t like, what they would do different.

The year after I found The Book of Lists and made a vacation plan based on that. Last year’s vacation was so crazy and great.

Then I did it, writing down the boys’ opinions.

It is the nerdiest thing. It feels like work. But it has made the last trips more enjoyable.

My advice. Do a debriefing at the end of a trip. Also write lists. They’re amazing.

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Things I learned on our Trip

July 28, 2009 — faemom

1)   Kids four and under can handle three hours on a plane.  The last half hour makes the mother want to jump out.

2)   Massachusetts, New Hampshire and Maine, you all need to pay for better street paint.  When it’s dark and rainy, it would be super nice to be able to see the street lanes.

3)   You all need to invest in street signs.  Especially Boston.  Not helpful for tourists.

4)   Tolls suck.  Do you know how much money we paid to just do u-turns?

5)   I’m willing to pay twenty dollars more a day to have maid service.

6)   “Take the second exit at Broadway” is not a helpful direction.  Left, right, or straight are directions.

7)   “Continue on Route 1” when you are starting at a parking lot on Route 1 is not a helpful direction.  Again, we need a left or right.

8)   Frustrated, tired husband, who is driving, ranting at tired, frustrated wife, who can’t find where they are on the map, makes the wife wonder about quickly divorces.

9)   Delusional tired husband ranting at freeway system makes delusional tired wife laugh hysterically.

10)   GPS can save you or destroy you.

11)    When lost, GPS sounds like a bitch.

12)    GPS does not know all. 

13)   My mother is an obsessive caller.

14)    The family wit came from my father.

15)   Black shirt or black tux = ring protecting ninja.

16)    Always include all children of a family in an event.  Do not leave any child out of that family.  The child will join event unasked.

17)    Never ask sister-in-law or brother where to eat because they like crowded, trendy places that are not suitable for children or tourists that would like to do something other than sit at a table waiting for breakfast.

18)    Tearing apart lobsters is harder than watching it done.

19)    Newly big-potty-trained child will always need to poop when you don’t have the little seat to use.

20)  It’s easier to hold a pooping child if you are sitting on the floor.

21)    Always buy two of everything when you have two children.

22)   Traveling with children is more tiring than traveling alone.

23)    Security guards in Boston like to start sh*t.

24)   Tired, frustrated mother is more the willing to return sh*t.

25)   Telling your mom on your cell phone as you’re waiting to board the plane that your kids have vomited and diarrheaed all morning does not make fellow passengers easy.

 

More details in the days to come.

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Posted in I'm still just someone's daughter, Raising Tornadoes. Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , . 11 Comments »

Military maneuvers

August 24, 2008 — faemom

We have traveled through the desert to spend a measely 4 days with my family.  With all the preperation, I want to stay at least a week, but I have done it for a weekend.  But I thought I should share some of the process of taking a trip to Grandma’s House, and because both sets of grandparents leave the same amount of distance away, I have to do this for every trip.  We call any preparation we do to leave the house military maneuvers because when Evan was little we had to bring EVERYTHING because we were new at this.  Now I keep EVERYTHING in the car and the diaper bag.  But I would rock as a supply sergeant.

A few days before the trip I make a list of everything we will need and everything I need to buy.  Going to my parents’ house is easier because I have left toiletries and they have toys.  I buy juice, snacks and energy drinks.  I find soft pretzels one of the best snacks because it can be eaten to keep car sickness at bay and it’s filling.  I plan the meals up to the day of travel to limit as much food as possible from going bad.  Lately I’ve been making fried rice the night before because it puts as many vegetables as possible in the kids stomach, which they need for a nearly fast food day.

The packing starts in the morning as I am trying to get any last moment laundry down.  Due to straining my washing machine with too many too full loads, I now have to do more loads than I would have.  I pack the snacks and the DVDs and anything we can live without for twelve hours.  When it comes to toys, it’s amazing what toys NEED to be desperately played with right at that moment.  So toys are last.

I’m a Girl Scout.  So I learned to pack light, and baring that, I learned how to stuff as much as I can in bags.  My husband is grateful to this skill because he always over packs for business trips (by double the clothes) and I can always put everything in his suit bag.  I’m not bragging.  I’m probably in the top ten in packing ability.  As a middle-schooler given only ONE bag for a trip, you make sure you don’t leave anything out you just might possibly could need, including: curling iron, straightening iron, hair spray, purfume, books, cds, several outfits, pens, papers, magazines, as well as all the other toiletries and necessities.  Yes, all girls tend to over pack.

But I did learn only to take two extra outfits and barrow small things from my Mom.  Now I have two toddlers (one that is potty training), so I have to double the outfits, just in case (though I could always use the washer), and since I don’t know what toddlers where to funerals, I brought two nice outfits.  I don’t know what I will where, and there is debate that the boys and I may stay longer for my mom.  So more clothes.  Then a lot of diapers so I don’t have to run out a buy more, which goes in the tote with the balls, cars, and a few big toys.  Let’s not forget the potty seat, the booster seat, and the all-important traveling DVD player.  Each boy has a back pack of books and toys.  This time Evan packed his bag.  It included, Pluto but no Mickey, Master Tiger but no one else, a zebra, and a giraffe finger puppet.  I added more after he went to bed.

Now I’m a little anal when it comes to writing and my books, so I take more reading material than I need and more writing material than I need.  I grabbed two Wii controllers, some DVDs, and a Wii game of Mario cart because my mom loves that game.  I had to bring stickers and scape booking stuff for a collage as well as infor to pay any bills that may be due if I stay longer.  Oh and my husband’s suitcase and laptop.

Actually I can get everything in perfecting, including the little bag of clothes for the boys the next day.  You actually should see when I pack for Christmas travel. 

Then there’s my husband.  He can’t pack to save his life nor can he pack the night before.  Example: Our honeymoon in Maui, he packed his good pants, a dress shirt, black socks, and a tee shirt.  Yup, that’s all there was in his suitcase.  I asked him if it had felt too light.  Nope. Our first day on the island, we visited the Walmart.  So my husband decides to play chess on the computer and pack in the morning.  Knowing the kids do better if we leave early, I want to be out at 6.  As the 5:30 alarm rang, he shuts it off with a groan.  Are you kidding me?  He takes a fifteen minute shower.  I can’t sleep, so I jump up.  I show, dress, and pack all the last minute items by the time he’s showered and in boxers.  And it’s six o’clock!  I’m a planner; I hate when my plans go awry.  We left at 6:30, as my husband teases me about how I take a long time.  It is only because I don’t want my children to see violence that my husband lives today.  Did I ever mention when I don’t get sleep I get a little bitchy in the morning?

And actually we made good time.  And I thank God for the inventor of the portable DVD player.  I would not know what to do without one.  Now that the laws are so strict, I can’t imagine being strapped in a car seat for nearly eight hours.  They have their no-spill sippy-cups and cartoons.  My boys were good.

Evan: Mommy, I’m tired.

Me: “You’re tired?  It’s still morning.”

Evan: “Yes, Mommy, I’m tired.  Not thirsty, tired.  I need a nap.”

Me: “Ok, baby.  Do you want your binky (pacifier)?”
Evan: “Yes, please.”  (I hand it back)

Me: “Now close your eyes.”

Evan: “No, Mommy, I need to lay down and take a nap.”

Oops, I guess we have a problem because we’re still four hours away and lunch is coming up.

Posted in Raising Tornadoes, Tornado E, Tornado S. Tags: , , , , , . Leave a Comment »
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