We are all leaders!

Today's khutbah was about Leadership or Kepimpinan. One of the things that caught my attention was the fact that all of us, whether we realize it or not, are leaders. It can be in the minutest unit in the family such as a brother is a leader to his little brothers and sisters, moving on to bigger units such as a mother is the leader to her kids, a father is the leader to his family, or in a bigger and wider scope such as a King is the leader to his citizens.

The word leader may be interpreted differently by different individuals. However, many perceive a leader as someone who controls everything, who has the ultimate power. It might be true to a certain extent, but that the definition itself is rigid and is too small of a scope. What does it really mean? Well, a leader in its simplest definition is someone who leads..someone who shows the way. Having said this, a leader is usually someone with experience and knowledge, who are able to use these two resources to show the right way to the less experienced or less knowledgeable. Hence, the role requires one to be passionate in helping others and to be responsible..NOT to dictate or to control.

Being a leader has a lot of responsibilities. One needs to be amanah and when one is amanah, one will definitely be responsible for he/she knows that the amanah need to be carried out dutifully.  In a hadith by Abdullah Ibn Umar, the Prophet Muhammad PBUH once said that:

This clearly shows that being a leader is no joke and it requires one to be committed and responsible for everything that a leader does will be questioned on the Day of Judgment. Since we are all leaders of our own unit, be it small or large, we are all accountable. This is something that we need to remind ourselves every single day for we tend to forget. At times, we feel that we don't have any responsibilities but in reality, we do have our own flock that we need to guide. This is a reminder especially to myself  to always be responsible and committed in everything that I do. As for the business field that I just ventured (Green Leaders Group), Alhamdulillah, I am thankful for being in a group whose leader is very supportive and very helpful in ensuring that everyone succeeds. 

So lets not forget our duties because we are all leaders and failing to do so may lead to negative consequences as the hadith below described:

Amr ibn Murrah said to Mu’awiyah: I heard the Messenger of Allah, peace be upon him, say, “There is no leader who closes the door to someone in need, one suffering in poverty, except that Allah closes the gates of the heavens from him when he is suffering in poverty.”

                                                                                                                              -At-Tirmidhi- 

::A NEW VENTURE::

        When I was studying, I really couldnt wait to work. I always imagined getting my salary every month and being able to buy things that I want..and most importantly, I always dreamt of giving back to my parents for they have done a lot for me. Now, it has been about 8 months since I first started working and getting paid. Alhamdulillah, all is well but although I tried so hard to deny it, I actually wished that I have more.. when I say more I mean more money. Not that I am ungrateful or materialistic, but seriously, what I have now is actually just enough on a month-to-month basis and after deducting my phone bill, my car, accommodation, etc, there's not much saving that can be done..and the saddest part is I can only give back a little to my parents. Not that they mind but as sons and daughters, I am sure we have that conscience..

        So I tried a few things to save up..such as control my desire to eat (crazy right??), buy only necessary stuffs (it's good though but at one point I just feel like screaming..lol) and many other things that you won't believe me doing.. I really do want to save some money but as much as I tried, there's not much that can be put aside. There will always be something that you will need to use the money for and in the end, when I look at the balance, I can only sigh. So I thought of doing extra things to gain extra income but as I have no experience at all in business, I felt really lost and I didnt know how to start. I helped a friend of mine with a business that she just started..alhamdulillah...things are ok.. but you know..it's really tough when ur doing it on your own.

        Thus, I started to rethink a suggestion..or rather an invitation from my close friend to join a group that he just signed into..a marketing group. I was really sceptical..I mean I have heard many unfavourable stories about direct selling and things related to it.. It took me about three weeks to think and consider because I do not want to make the wrong move as there's a lot at stake. However, it just got me a few days ago 'takkan my close friend want to promote bende yang tak elok to me' so I contacted him, get some clarification, look up on the internet to get information about the group and I straight away decided to join. You must be thinking 'biar betul die ni' BUT memang betul! If I keep on thinking and thinking and thinking, nothing will ever become a reality. I now learn that in this world, we fear many things but if we do not make the first step to walk pass these fears, we will be stuck in the same position for the rest of our lives and I dont want that to happen to me and to you.

       So yesterday, a day before my birthday (promote sket..hahaha), I met Kak Aju, a very nice lady who has been with the group for quite some time. The name of the Group is GLG and they are a marketing group under Hai-O Marketing, an established company that gain millions and millions of ringgit from their products. After listening to the explanation, I felt convinced and more confident that I will be able to do it and that I do want to join them. Now, I am part of the group, a group that supports each of its team members to reach the individual's utmost potential. In this group, no one is working alone. Therefore, it is stress-free and the environment really supports professional development and of course, everyone gets the financial benefits. Initially, I felt that it is too good to be true but after looking at my close friend who just got the benefit, it is REAL!

      Well, they say that in life, at times we need to get out of our comfort zone and explore new things for we never know what we will discover and get. I just did that and athough I still have a long way to go, I am glad that I have made the fisrt step. I will tell you the details about the group for I really do want to share and invite you to joins us because hey, what's the point of keeping things to myself..so please stay tuned for I will be posting all the details in my next entry really soon. Till then..

Parents

        Have you ever imagined..that one day..while you're sleeping soundly..the phone rings.. with your eyes half open..You answered the call with a lazy voice while silently cursing in your heart.. the voice of the caller is getting clearer..and as you heard the news..you dropped the phone..numb..speechless... you sister/brother just told you that your mother /father had just passed away...

        While we are busy working and getting  a hold of our everyday lives, I believe that in one way or another, we have forgotten that we are not going to live forever. There will come the day when our lives end..and when that day comes..there's no stopping and there's no turning back. Often do we see or hear that when this happens, people start regretting..they regret not being able to always be by their loved ones..they regret not showing their loved ones how much they love them...they regret for not calling their parents everyday to ask how they are doing... 

        As mere humans, there is no denying that we often forget things..we forget to appreciate life and we forget to care and love for our loved ones. In other words, we often take things for granted until those things are taken away from us. Parents are irreplaceable. No one can ever replace them. They are the ones who care for us since we were born..and even when we are married and have our own family, if anything happens to us, I'm sure they are the ones who will be the first person to worry. 

        As their sons and daughters, isn't it fair for us to do the same? They cared for us when we were young and now that they's getting older, shouldn't we care for them in return? There are many instances in the Holy Quran where Allah mentioned the need to be good to our parents right after His command to worship no one except He. This clearly shows that being good to our parents are a great responsibility that everyone should carry out dutifully and that Allah's blessings depend on the blessings of our parents.. 

        So lets do our best to take care of our parents and be good to them. We don't want our lives to be filled with regrets for not being able to carry out our duties as sons and daughters. Every night, before we go to sleep, lets tell them how much we love them and ask for their forgiveness...for we never know if tomorrow would ever come...

::Love you Ayah and Mama::

Weekends

Weekends are extremely crucial. They are the most anticipated part of the week and believe it or not, thinking of weekends help to maintain my sanity throughout the week. That is why I feel so pissed off when there's an activity or a course that I have to attend at the very last minute when I have already planned interesting things that I want to do over the weekends (I'm sure you feel the same way too).

What do I do on weekends? Well, a trip to the shopping mall has been an unbreakable routine. After a long week, I just need to go somewhere where I can feast my eyes on beautiful things (I mean things that can be purchased..ahaks!) and also satisfy my taste buds with delicious food! I just don't know how to describe the satisfaction that I feel. Call me overreacting..but it's true!

Last week was no exception. It was kinda last minute but Fikri and I decided to meet up at Aeon Tebrau City. So we went there for like 40 minutes and then we seriously did not know what to do! since it is the fasting month, obviously we can't have lunch so after wondering around the mall, we sat at a bench, mute, not wanting to admit to each other that we both were thinking the same thing: What am I doing here?

So we then decided to go somewhere else. We took my car and we drove to JB. As Fikri seldom comes to JB, we felt that it's just right to explore the city. Of course we don't have the time to have a tour of every nook of the city, but at least we did get a glimpse of several landmarks of JB. Along the journey, we saw English College (Maktab Sultan Abu Bakar) which can be said to be the Victoria Institution of JB. We now know where Hospital Sultanah Aminah is . Then we stopped at Masjid Sultan Abu Bakar for prayers (it's our first time there and we were intrigued!). 

Later we went to Angsana where our eyes just turned wild looking at all the Hari Raya apparel being sold. It's like a huge warehouse of clothes! It's just weird how these things actually amused us and kept us entertained. Maybe because we don't know what to do or most probably because as people from another state, getting to know the locations of these places and actually got to see them is indeed and achievement! Yeay!

So lets plan our weekend wisely! =)

Fighting!

It's almost 5 am in the morning. Just had my sahur at the Dewan Makan, the hub, the centre for food production that ensures life continuity of this hostel's inhabitants. And right now the sound of the siren that is used to wake students up can be clearly heard..but surprisingly..some are still not moved by the sound; they remain fast asleep. Incredible!

Well, that's a glimpse of what life is here in this hostel..in Bandar Penawar. My last post was like about 5 months ago, where I wrote about how the first three weeks had been. Of course, now, there's a lot of improvement, though there's no denying that when one challenge is resolved, other problems and tribulations step in. 

I now know that teaching is not an easy job. I used to think so even when I am still a teacher trainee but now that I am experiencing it, trust me, it is NOT easy! Handling a class of 40 students is already challenging, what more teaching 3 classes of 40 students who are all going to sit for the national examination - PMR (i am teaching another class as well). I am not whining or complaining. I know there are teachers who have done an excellent job in educating the young ones and how I wish one day I can achieve that too. My intention is just to make a point on how tough teaching can be. 

There were times when i felt like I want to just pack my bags and go away..to just leave everything behind, just for one month, if not forever. It's just that sometimes I kinda feel that I have done a lot but what I get in return is an act of inconsideration and disrespect. Maybe they're just kids..or maybe I'm being too emotional. Who knows. After all, in any cases, one party cannot be blamed solely for what happened. 

But then I realized that I was the one who have decided to take this path. I choose this and therefore I must face it and do my best. Im not depressed or on the edge of breaking down - NO. it's just that at times I feel tired and helpless..but nevermind. Despite all these trials, there are good things too..and these good things are my main motivation. When I wake up in the morning I think of these things and they made my worries go away - at least for a while if not for long. Nevertheless, it does help in starting my day with a positive attitude. Fighting!

I just feel like sharing this one spontaneous conversation between me and a male student in my class:

Student: Cikgu, kenapa cikgu garang2 ni. Period ek?

Me       : (Excuse me??) Awak tu lah yg period. Asyik keluar class je pergi tandas. Kenapa? tak habis2  

              tukar pad?

THE END

the first three weeks

I actually planned to write this like three weeks ago..but it's only today that I managed to gather enough strength to force myself to sit in front of my laptop and move my finger muscles to write something. so, here I am..I'M BACK! (yeay! i guess..).

So, it's been three weeks since the day I officially started my work as an English teacher at SMK Bandar Penawar Kota Tinggi Johore. The first week there was really emotional. I was already shcoked when I got to know that I was posted to Johore. Then, another shock came when I got to know of my school which is situated about only 5 km away from Desaru. I am sure by now you pretty much have an idea of the location of my school right? It's quite towards the end of Johore. So ya..there you go.. it's like whenever I think of it.. there's a voice in my head telling me 'Ambek kau!'..hahaha.

Basically, the first week was about dealing with emotions. It's about trying to accept the fact that I will be working for who-knows-how-many years there. It's about adapting to a totally new environment (quiet, slow-paced, pasar borong 'sakan', oil palm trees). It's about re-adapting myself to living-in-the-asrama environment which I never thought I will be experiencing again. It's about convincing myself that one week is not that long (truthfully, one week there feels like a year). To be honest, it's really exhausting as I feel like I'm in a constant battle with myself, trying to hide away all those feelings, trying to be happy and grateful, and trying to build a shield to the homesick attack that often strikes. It's tough..it really is BUT everytime I feel down, I always remind myself of a verse from the Holy Quran which means:

"Allah does not burden any human being with more than he is well able to bear"
(Al-Baqarah, verse 286)

As they say, every cloud has its silver lining. Being posted there actually made me more grateful of the things that I enjoy and have in my hometown, Selangor. It's not that all these while I take everything for granted..NO. It just makes me appreciate things more. Now that I'm back for the holidays, I really feel grateful that there's EMPIRE gallery in subang, there's Plaza Masalam, There's Coffe Bean almost everywhere (*gedik mode*), there's One Utama, there's IKEA where I can enjoy meatballs (nyum2), there's Giant at almost every district and that they are reachable and most importantly, I appreciate the time that I get to spend with my family much much more. It's really valuable that I just don't know how to explain or to describe it. I think you know how it feels.

Well I guess I need to start anew after this holiday. I need to start my day at school with high spirits and ikhlaskan hati, for insyaAllah, when there's sincerity, everything will be good. To all my friends out there who are in the same boat as me, lets do our best. Lets keep ourselves occupied so that we can keep our mind off all the negativity and the unsettled emotions that we might feel if we just sit and do nothing. Lets be productive! May Allah help us..amiin..

lalalalalala

I really don't know where to start..a lot of things are going on in my mind right now. Since morning, from the moment I woke up, heaps of stuffs have started to cloud my rational thoughts..and it made me feel like I am floating in the air..dreamy yet awake.. and I just couldn't seem to do all the things that I plan to do today.

What happened was that I got the result of my posting. I was intending to check the moe website at about 9 am..but I got the shock of my life when I woke up at 6 am - I got a text message from my friend informing me that I got JOHOR. I was numb. seriously..NUMB! I didn't know how to react. So I switched on my laptop and I checked it again and there it was.. the state 'JOHOR' was written in RED.. as if it was saying 'YOU'RE DEAD!'.. I know I am exaggerating and being dramatic.. but that's how I felt..

Another sad part of the day is that I will have to resign from work..I just started working on the 1st of february..and to be honest I am enjoying myself.. I met new people.. I got to know awesome friends.. it's just sad..you know..SAD.. I m not saying that I hate the fact that I get my posting..NO..because I already know this will happen.. it's just that I just hope that I could work a bit longer.. but nevermind.. I do believe that the friendship built will remain..and who knows..distance might make it stronger..

So basically, throughout the day..I tried my best to accept the fact that i will be moving to another state.. some may feel that it's not a big deal..but I can't deny that it is a big deal for me.. However, sooner or later, I will definitely have to accept it because this was what I have agrred on..way back when I started my degree.. My only hope now is that Allah will help me go through all these..and that many good things will come. After all..Allah knows best and that everything happens for a reason.. let's be POSITIVE! fighting! =) Here are some photos of me and my awesome buddies trying to entertain ourselves after work..hoping that all of our sorrows will fade away..cewaaah! =P

See you soon

When i first started my degree..it felt like it would take forever to finish it..Now, I had succesfully completed it and I am happy..but at the same time I was like 'Wow! like for real?'..I mean I just cant believe that the wait is now over.. For 5 1/2 years I have been in this programme and now that it has come to an end..5 1/2 years feel so short! How time flies...

When I was a bit younger (I am still young now though =P)..I have this idea that saying goodbye must involve crying..it must be a sad occasion and if a person does not cry..there must be something wrong with him or her.. I still remember during our cohort's farewell dinner in 2008 before we went overseas.. I was extremely sad and I cried during the dinner having been haunted by the idea that I would not be seeing my close friends for two years of studying abroad... When I look back.. I was like..'Why did I do that??' LOL. I'm not saying that we cant cry..it's up to the individual..no problem at all. But as for me..over the years.. I have learned that saying farewell may not be a sad occasion.. I have realized that goodbyes do not mean the end of everything..it just means the end of one chapter and that I will see my friends again in the next chapters of my life..

So, in this 5 1/2 year chapter..I would say that I have made many friends..I got to know a lot of people with different characters.. I have faced many challenges be it in academic or in friendship.. Along the way.. some hearts were wounded..some hearts were touched.. There were lots of happy moments..nevertheless there were times when tears were shed.. Along the way.. I have said 'Hi' a lot of times..and I have said 'bye' in numerous occasions..and now, I have to say it again.. but as I said..this is not the end.. Thanks to all those who have been with me throughout this journey..those who have painted beautiful colours in my life.. I would love to mention all of your names but then, it will take up my whole blog and you will end up getting bored.. after all I am sure you know who you are.. So THANK YOU and lots of love.. may all the memories remain.. Will see you soon!

*Below are some pictures taken during the last days in college..I would like to apologize for not having everyone's pictures..but dont worry because all of you will always be in my heart.. =)