Mother's Day

The Sampler Girl--designer

stitched and finished by me in 2010

Happy Mother's Day to all sweet readers today!  Life is moving along and thank goodness for prayers.

I blogged about this piece in more depth when I was stitching it. I picked it out, the pattern, not because of my own mother and memory but because at the time my son was in Afghanistan, and I prayed for him constantly.

My own mother's prayers, I can't really say or judge, but have also clung with me through my life as there have been times my life was almost taken but was not.

For that, I"m much greatful for. On Mother's Day Sunday, it's a bittersweet memory for me but I take it in stride from year to year and I stand on the promise of faith, love and hope and the greatest of these is love as a promise

.

Last Fall, my own mother came over to meet me for lunch and I was happy because she was actually choosing to come see me for a change. She wouldn't come to my house as she knew I was in a situation that was not secure and didn't want to confront even though the individual had left.

This sampler had been hanging in my home where I could see it on many occasions but I always thought of my own kids, grown, but distant.

I never understood it actually but kept trusting God and believing He was taking care of them.

On that day my own mother came, I was excited , but since she was not comfortable to go to my house, to show her a new diner that sells GREAT hamburgers. We ate, went antique-looking just for fun as we both like that and on this day before I left I took this from my back door shelf in the kitchen and wanted my son to have it then. I was learning to let go. Letting go.

For all the things he tried to strip from me, he couldn't take my memories, my memories of younger years, taking care of him and protecting him, praying for him. Memories of middle school and struggles, memories of high school and trying to help him in college.

I was so proud of him when came back from Afghanistan and I saw him and touched his arm.

I asked for a hug but he refused. Again, I walked off. It's the type of tough love that mother's go through and have to accept and not necessarily understand but the fact of hurt.

He wanted me to feel hurt and it worked.

As I clung to my own Father in heaven and prayed for him daily along with his sister, I finally reached a point of good advice given to me, and that was to let go. I was still proud of my son for his service, but I was beginning to not understand his hurtful intentions.

I still don't understand it all but I gave this sampler on that Fall day last year to give to him.

I wanted him to know I was still praying for him and had always.

I thought I was doing the right thing as he is an adult man now, by sending him emails to let him know of the danger I was dealing with last year.

I never got any acknowledgement or just a note back that he received it as was given to him.

I don't even know if my own mother gave it as I asked but I kept going trying to protect my life.

Now, on this Mother's Day, he is trying again to hurt me with lies and create pain.

The proud feeling I had of him serving our country has turned to disaapointment and hurt. Again. 

But even though he still struggles obviously with his own issues, his lies and shame are in the hands of His Maker, not mine any longer.

In my quiet time today I read this:

“My people have been lost sheep; their shepherds have led them astray and caused them to roam on the mountains. They wandered over mountain and hill and forgot their own resting place.” Jeremiah 50:6 (NIV)

and I think he describes my own Mother's Day tomorrow. I know where my resting place is and it's in the mountains. I know the shepherds that try to lead people astray. I'm so blessed that the truth really does set us free. People, no matter who, that try to hurt me have one person to answer to when this world is all said and done and that is God the Father. If you have done the best that you could as a mother and had grown children continue to lie and try to hurt you, or reject your love, then move on. Move on and your only thing left on this earth you can do is pray for them. They cannot take away that faith.

I'm writing this because I've heard of too many parents who are in the same position and Mother's Day is painful. It's time to put away the lies, hurt and hate they display as they are now adults.

They will answer to the same Father who created us in the begininng. Pray for them that they not wander through life led astray by people who are deceptive. 

That's what mother love is. It's loving even though expecting nothing in return. It's loving when they hurt and it's knowing when to let go and just pray.

 

Get the courage to move on, rebuke the lies and intentional hurt. 

I hope you have a much better one, filled with love from your children, the way it should be............. filled with hope and faith and love.

From one stitching soul to another,

Jennifer

Sappy Saturdays

So how was your week?

Mine went well, very well, taking a day at the time and the more days, the more I know I'm at peace.

Went to one of my fave places for a burger today and also received a dozen, beautiful red roses delivered to my house today, so love is definitely in the air here, with sweetness, and just making every day a Valentine's Day right now!! Even Flossie Mae has unexpectedly attracted all male cats for the past 2 days and she will probably be delivering kittens. I was late getting her fixed and was assured that cats don't go into heat until Spring. hummmm.......not here. LOL

So inspired, I decided to set up a few of my favorite Valentine's decor on top of my piano around my new roses and take a look-see:

A cup of tea anyone?

Times like these when I dust and can see the furniture. ;p

I love tea. I have some new Youthberry tea with orange from Teavana and have carefully enjoyed the full antioxidant benefits of it since I got it last week. Full of savory healing, wholesome and delicate goodness.

and there is one certainty, time moves right along.

And that is a good thing as I ponder many circumstances, some given to me unexpectedly in this life, but all have a purpose to fit somewhere. In time.

I have confidence in that much.

I got out some of my favorite pillow keeps

This one is from designer, The Sampler Girl, stitched by me. One of her freebies.

The top one, a freebie by Primitive Betty's stitched by me and another one which I love so dear.

I also love small quilt heart pillows. And this one just looks good here too.

And as I said this is Sappy Saturday as I miss my kids, now adults and hold them in my heart until they decide one day maybe to reconnect. I'm at peace with it. I know they will do what their heart leads them to do. They've tried many things to put a divide between us but in time they will learn the wisdom that mama's always love their babies and will miss them too.

It feels good to come to acceptance of these and many things that are "on my heart" today.

Because I know that really all things work together for good according to His purpose in his Time.

That's a promise I keep with MY heart.

and the roses, ahhhhhh, yes the beautiful roses. Mr. Darcy really does exist, ladies!

Now that's a sappy story as well with most of it unwritten for safety reasons. But as I've gotten a few emails about "the BodyGuard Situation",

this is where I must tell you the truth as he chose to live another life for the past several years, a life full of lies and deception, dishonesty and hurt, danger and pride, and I was absolutely unaware of many of his deceptions until July of this past year, but there again...... It was my time, my prayer was answered in months and as he strived hard to hurt me as much as he could, he really ended up being destructive to himself.

He is no longer in my life and I have no ill-will for him and he knows that. I am so glad I finally saw the light, the real kind of what kind of light he carried on our journey.

The rest is unwritten and will stay that way for safety reasons, but all in all, I feel safe with the One that loved me first, My Heavenly Father.

He protected me many times in my life and this past year was one of them.

He surrounded me with true friends and those who chose to say curt words and leave my life, I accepted their decisions as well, as they only didn't really understand, thank goodness the hades I went through so there is peace with that and those I've connected with are purposely only positive people right now.

I learned a hard lesson on trust many times in my life as many of you have too in yours. I am no different and am just saying that if you listen to your heart, your prayers will be answered. Just get ready for them to be answered in ways you may not think it will be.

By my bed is framed Be Still and Know I am God, and I see that when I awake and when I go to bed.

I stitched it a couple of years ago, designed by The Sampler Girl and it's given me so much encouragement.

So, last year, yes I went through a horrendous divorce with a man who's goal was only to hurt and hurt bad in every way.

I'm a thankful woman for the blessings I have and for the love of God to protect me even though he used every low avenue he could to deceive and perpetuate his deep seated lies.

I hope none of you go through this kind of betrayal but if you do, remember.... that there is a rainbow after the rain.

As a totally not interested person in relationships at all after all that, I guess another door opened, and this time, I have never felt so much peace inside with the friendship we've attained. It's refreshing, rejuvenating, lifting, and totally awestruck by the miracle God put in my life after Christmas Day.

The story will be unwritten here but all I can say is that ONLY God would be one to put this together and things that have happened are amazingly refreshing.

And for this, and other reasons, stitching, has been much to the side in the past several months.

But there are seasons in life that we all go through and I ONLY choose to respond and be with positive people as the negative, I really can't relate to and it drains me right now. I love to help others but those that are hurtful, I let go. It was time.

You wouldn't believe (maybe you would) some emails I got during this time from some bloggers.

I really felt sorry for them. I don't think they understood at all. But, I hope you know I heart each of you reading this blog, for whatever brought you to it today to read.

sometimes we don't know where the tree stops and the water begins but the reflection I see out my window one evening said it all.

Sometimes what we think we are living is only a shadow.

So, I'm totally in God's hands with what doors open next, but I will always trust Him forever.

I think 2012 and beyond is another chapter of life for me. Even the love of music is coming back for me. And it's nice to have someone to share that with.

So, I'm enjoying each day as best I can and that's the best we all can do.

One day the rest of the story will be written. It may require a book format! LOL

Through all this I learned these lessons:

1) no marriage or relationship can be based on dishonesty, deception, lies, and abuse

2) it takes 2 mature people to make one, just one doesn't work

3) never take a day for granted, it might change your life forever

4) thank all the friends who stuck with you and even those who chose to leave you for it showed you who really cared to start with.

5) slowly open your heart to a real kind of love because it can happen.

6) hug your children every day if you have the chance. If you can't, always hope, never lose hope.

7) if you've never seen your marriage partner open a Bible until his lies are found out, then pretends to do so and uses the word of God in a hateful way, RUN, don't walk. No matter what. God does not come looking for us. He knows where we are, we look for HIM.

8) accept nothing less than God being the foundation of a marriage relationship

9) life is too short to waste it trying to explain to former "friends" when they want to run as if it's contagious. If they were really your friend to start with, they would still be with you, if they dropped you for whatever, just nod, bow, and open the door for them.

10) Take safety seriously. If someone, anyone, comes to you in a dangerous situation in fear, don't say "I don't want to get involved" because in essence you really have taken the abuser's side by turning your head.

11) Pray. Pray without ceasing even when nothing but tears are flowing and you're speaking to the mountains and no one else because He DOES hear our specific requests and He already knows what we need if we just ask and be still. Patience. His TIME not ours.

and most important

12) I've found out twice what love is not so I can better recognize what love REALLY is. Even though I went through alot through the years, I'm thankful because I wouldn't know without the contrast.

The more days go by, the bigger the rainbow gets.

I hope you  have a  lovely Saturday evening and thank you for taking time out of your day to read my sappy moments today as I reflect on some very deep things, love, clean and take care of my home.

Home is Where the Heart Is means much more to me now.

Till later,

Jennifer

My last post

For over a month now, I have given all my energies just to stay sane and alive. There are things that demand my energy right now.I may one day again have a blog but this one will deactivate in 24 hours. I appreciate all the support I've had from friends and the ability to share my passion of stitching. Right now, I have no time to design or stitch. One day maybe when this is over I will be able to. If I start another blog in the future it will be a private blog. My dream of designing is haulted unfortunately.


I cannot emphasize how much the readers here have meant to me and I put alot of thought and energy into this blog. For security reasons it must shut down. I will again get back to stitching but right now my energies are going to be directed into basic necessities. I admire all of your work and enjoyed reading blogs even if I couldn't comment as much as I could.

I'm still on facebook and also on Twitter. But only God knows what the future will be.
Take care and I'll never forget each and every one of you. It was a part of my journey that has to end.
I need much rest now and stitching again will be a luxury. And I know I will one day.This is just the end of a chapter in my life.

Yours thankfully,
Jennifer