You know how you can look back at an item or a photo or hear a sound, like birds taking wing, and be swept away by not only memories but by sensations?
I finally cracked open my aunt’s removable disk drive, under the pretense that we needed room on our desktop. The kids and I went through all her photos. She seemed to take pictures of every single moment of the time they were together.
She wasn’t the most talented photographer, but she had such passion for it. She tried too hard, I think. Just point and click, woman. Just point. And click.
But I realized two things.
First, that my aunt loved the children with all her heart. She loved every single subject she photographed. Butterflies, spiders, Easter eggs. All of them are beloved.
Second, I have her cameras and I don’t use them because every time I open the bag I can remember each time I pulled out a lense, flash, cord and handed it to her while she click click clicked. Looking at the photos I finally understood that I need to pull them out and let them do what they do. Instants are inching by and I’ll forget the tiny things. The smile of a 9 year old girl just before she laughs the shy down trned eyes of my oldest son. the babies excitement over EVERYSINGLETHING.
I don’t know if I want to keep her legacy alive or if I want to start my own. Either way… here we go.
Thank you, Tante Annug. For everything.
a Clockwork Rabbit 