Dusty Monsters and Craven Hounds

20 Apr 2013 Leave a comment

by FilthyRotten in good eats, Hedgepenny's Buns., killing in the name of, or whatever, The things I do Tags: , ,

I’m always looking for something to keep me occupied. Paul accuses me of being unable to keep myself entertained… and to that I say: SHUT UP, PAUL, YOU DON’T KNOW ME! I DO WHAT I WANT!

So, another one of my um… attempts to keep myself entertained  boils down to putting myself through a liquid diet. I was thinking a juice fast but, gosh, I need more than just juice. I need things that taste like they died for me. Fruits and vegg just taste like smiles.

So tonight I started with a pear, orange, turnip and berry concoction that wasn’t too bad. I followed that with some bangin’ broth that Paul and I made. It was rendered chicken (rendered to the point that the bones because mush) combined with miso, dashi and whatever magic happens when Paul cooks.

On top of this I’ll be writing a lot more for Fleet, dedicating larger chunks of time for simply writing and not for work/writing.

We’ll see how it works out… I’m pretty stressed about the ‘CHANGE’ that’s coming up and I’m finding it harder and harder to focus on the little everyday things that I need to focus on, you know? Like if it doesn’t directly effect the BIG PICTURE then I don’t want to deal with it.

ALAS, that’s now how the real world works, now is it?

FilthyRotten’s 4th Annual Scarf Project!

02 Oct 2012 1 Comment

by FilthyRotten in The things I do

The Scarf Project is now live!

The scarves will start appearing on the Team Scar Project  shop tonight. Be sure to read the post below to get this years updates on price, limits and custom scarves!

Do good! Stay Warm!

_________________________________________________________

It’s very nearly that time of year again! October has come to mean a lot to me recently.

First… free candy. I mean… you can’t beat that.

Second… the Scarf Project. I started this off 4 years ago (wow!) with the simple idea to raise a few dollars for a local charity. Yet, EVERY SINGLE YEAR you guys have shown me over and over again how freaking amazing you are and totally doubled goals over and over.

Wow.

Thank you.

You guys… are amazing.

For the most part, your my friends… either in the real world or on the bright, hectic world of twitter… but you push my blog posts and you retweet and you absolutely believe in me.  My gosh. You guys make me so freaking happy! As I write this I’m grinning like an idiot… but…what’s new with that?

My chosen charity is again http://www.Kiva.org. If you haven’t, yet… check out their site! And check out Team3ScarfProject, too!

With last years $110 earned through the sale of scarves we’ve made a total of 6 loans add that to the 4 loans I did to match what 3SP earned and we’ve loaned $250 to 3rd world entrepreneurs! All through selling of simple, hand made scarves.

Wow.  Pat yourselves on the back, guys!

Now this year there are a few changes to the project.

1) Most importantly (and this I hate the most): If you noticed, I’ve stopped calling it the $3 Scarf Project well… because… the rising cost of materials has made it such that I’ve been forced to raise the prices of the scarves from $3 to $5. I tried to not raise the price last year and it was a real struggle, let me tell you. Thankfully I had a lot of help with scarf and yarn donations.

2) DONATIONS ARE TOTALLY ACCEPTED! If you want to knit, sew or crochet a scarf or even donated your yarn left overs… email me! Filthyrottenangel@gmail.com

3) This year there isn’t going to be a list. It’s still August and I have given myself until October 1st to have 20 of 30 scarves made. That said I’ll be opening a shop front and selling them from there as a first come/first serve type thing. I will have help with mailing, thankfully, because this year I’m going to be REALLY ambitious.

4) MAILING… as always those of you who don’t live in local (Atlanta, Ga) and want your scarf shipped: shipping is $2. Those of you who ARE in ATL and still want your scarf shipped… shipping is $2. You can totally pick scarves up from me if you’d like to save that extra 2 bits. lol. Email me and we’ll work it out.

5) NO LIMITS ON SCARVES! Which I know will make a few of you really happy!

6) CUSTOM SCARVES: I am willing to crochet custom scarves but they won’t be available until November. Email me for more details.

Those are the only changes (so far) .  I’ll post more updates and pictures of scarves the closer we get to October!

Do Good! Stay Warm!

all my life I have seen people walk into the sea just to find memories.

01 Feb 2011 1 Comment

by FilthyRotten in bully, The things I do, Time Eaters

Know me, know my past.

Something just hit me that might have been pretty fucking obvious to everyone else around me. DG never wanted me to be happy. I mean… never wanted me to have a moment of OH GOD THIS IS GOOD!! just for myself.

Maybe she never knew it… maybe it was just a happenstance of her insanity.

I’m puzzled and kind of hurt. I mean…I guess it’s just a realization but it’s something that’s taken me by surprise.

Productive Procrastination

10 Oct 2010 1 Comment

by FilthyRotten in or whatever, The things I do, Time Eaters

Very unproductive day.

I haven’t written or edited anything nor have I even TOUCHED an inch of yarn. I did, however, churn 2 pounds of butter and fiddle with the aqua-ponic garden and water a plant.

Go, me!

I still haven’t figured out what coop I want for the chickens… when they’re old enough to go a’cluckin’ in the great outdoors… BUT I do know that I want blue berry bushes growing along outside of the coop. And possibly passion flowers. Or morning glorys.

Last night, before Saturday Night Ninja Fight Movie Night happened, I set up my fishtank aqua garden and placed a few of the plants that I had on the porch in it… just to see how it works out.

So far, so good… though I’m worried about the bin thing that the plants are in, I think the water is too heavy and it’s going to eventually crack the bin where the bin overhangs the table.

Cross that bridge …

I’ve cut the rabbit’s wool down very close to her body…or as close as I could get. She’s too freaking aggressive and doesn’t enjoy being groomed at all. I haven’t gotten bitten or scratched in a while…but that doesn’t mean she’s not hiding a gun in all that wool!

The stray cat we took on, Ferris, still hasn’t had her kittens… I’m starting to believe that she’s not pregnant at all.  Going to give her another three weeks and see, but the earliest I can get her in to the vet is Dec. 15th. If she turns out to not be pregnant, then I’ll go ahead and place her into her new home.

I might take on another foster after her, we’ll see.

I finally received the title for my Jeep, thank god. New tags happen next freaking week!!

I got the teddy bear eyes in the mail the other day, now my knit creations can have eyeballs! yes! EYEBALLS1! So that when I create them and they look all DERPY and retarded they can stare at me accusingly.

I have 4 scarves still left to create… I think one will be an octopus. We will see.

The kids are all bonkers. All. Bonkers.

oh, and by the way happy X/X/X

she might just want my bones, you see.

07 Oct 2010 Leave a comment

by FilthyRotten in ...and writing!, killing in the name of, The things I do

You may (or may not have) noticed that I took down all the old “Killing in the Name of..” posts.

Why, you might ask? Well it’s because of this.

It’s kind of like Etsy for writers!

I’m very excited for the whole thing, I’ve been wanting to compile the “Killing…” stories into something, but they don’t work as one large novel… so, I’m planning on publishing them as short serials and selling them pretty cheap.

Quick, dark, dirty tales of murder and mayhem? Bring on the pulp fiction!

So, just a teaser of how I may start off the first novella…

She leaned forward slightly and her blue eyes caught the light and threw it back at the night like idle daggers. She was cloaked in dark colors and wreathed in cigarette smoke. It didn’t mask the other scent that rolled off of her in taunting waves.

She’d killed tonight.

My heart tripped, stuttered and sped up almost climbing up my throat to pound like a prisoner against my teeth. She glanced at me and her lips trembled then curled. She raised one hand to her face and it was like a magic trick, that slender hand appearing out of seemingly nowhere, it was slippery with blood. She touched her lower lip as if thinking and I shuddered. I was suddenly wild to be at her mouth, devouring her lips in frenzied kisses.

Fausille smiled, and all the demons in hell smiled with her.

My name is Nikkolaus, and I am in love.

I cannot wait for this! I am rewriting the first story and the passion that enveloped me when I first wrote of Fausille, the bloody city and the cast of rag-tag, bobtailed were animals whose lives she systematically destroys IS BACK.

Wish me luck.

Buy an eBook!

P.S. Fun fact…my blog is 6 years 6 months and 6 days old today!

Deep Tetris Thoughts

07 Oct 2010 Leave a comment

by FilthyRotten in 7 loves of 7 lives, Clutter, Hedgepenny's Buns., or whatever, The things I do, Time Eaters

It’s apparently when I’m doing the most mindless of tasks that I’m whisked away into “lets think about shit that’s happened months ago!’ mode.

[sigh]

Romantic Comedies.

Yeah, they’re what I’ve been pondering so deeply. There is a certain kind of person that can take any enjoyment from a movie cast with extremely attractive unattractive people, splattered throughout with a lukewarm chemistry and backed by a bland, thoughtless dialog.

I forget what was the last one I watched, but it had the Jessica chick from Sex and the City… the director tried very hard to make this woman backward and socially stagnant… then tried to make the main man’s older sister’s hate of the Jessica chick believable. AND the strange thing is …the brother never defended his girlfriend against these attacks by the sister and his mother.

I think that level of petty hate would only be easy to swallow if the sister had some sort of mad lust for the brother.

NOW THAT WOULD HAVE MADE A FILM!

Like, the family is all laughs and giggles about “OH HO SHE SURE PISSED OFF THAT JESSICA CHICK FROM SEX AND THE CITY!” but then slowly began to realise that big sister has hated ALL of brothers girlfriends…FOR NO REASON, then they get the silent stares going around the dinner table and big sister makes a comment about how FANCY brother looks in his new dockers. But big brother is having none of that because he’s in love with the chick that had sex with all of new york.

That movie, I would watch.

But the movie that was actually playing? Whatever, I took that one out and watched Terminator instead.

At least Terminator had a more palatable plot.

I just used quite a few indefinite articles in that last rant.

So, I never talk about my personal health in this blog, you’d think I would, what with me talking about every thing else under the sun.

I’m not gonna start now, people, just look away.

I am gonna talk about…CHICKENS

yes, chickens.

This friday I’m putting in my order for 25 large meat and heavy egg laying birds. I’m sharing this order with my sister in law and her boyfriend. (They’re getting 5 of the roasting birds and 8 months of all you can eat eggs.) I now need to build a coop, granted…the birds don’t ship until November 16th but the 4 months that they’re growing from chicks to pullets goes by in an instant and 25 birds gets to be a lot really fast.

We’re really thinking about going as green as possible, so that we have to rely on the grocery store as little as possible. I want to really get better at canning. I canned some yellow watermelon jelly last weekend that I HOPE turns out, I was very imprecise about the measurements. It might be KILLER SWEET or spoiled.

We’ll find out!

I may be canning pears next…if not pears then I’m going to make peach preserves or maybe black berry jam.

mmm…

We have to get with someone who does gardening, I’ll trade whatever I garden/eggs/preserves and soft cheese (if I get back into making it) for fruits/veggies.

We’ll also have to find someone willing to go in with us on processing a calf… shouldn’t be hard. The company we went with last time wasn’t TOO bad, I just didn’t like the cube steaks or the grade of ground beef.  I would want large cuts of roasts that I can either grind myself or cut down into steaks.

Paul and I are going to buy a young pig very soon to home butcher… that and the chickens and the beef we should be covered as far as meats go…though we’ll need a smoker to make bacon… or I’ll just go back to the farmers market in Dekalb and get the applewood smoked bacon from there… so. very. fucking. good.

This neighborhood we now live in is very into the whole organic movement, there’s a farmers market that the community uses pretty exclusively and I might end up buying a booth there a few weekends… depending on if I can’t get rid of 280 eggs a month to family, friends and by selling them @ $2 a dozen.

Lets hope I can BECAUSE as soon as I’m able to, I’m going to be buying a couple Americanas… the Easter egg laying birds… they lay eggs in shades of taupe to blue or even green.

They also have a strange black meat…so I probably won’t be eating THOSE birds. [shivers]

I really need to map out my days…

I have so many different projects that I need to do/am doing that I fear that some of them are gonna fall through the cracks or that I won’t have the energy to deal with them everyday and they’ll just get pushed to the side and slowly begin to overflow.

Like my Etsy shop… I’ve let that go to the way side b/c I’ve not really been working on anything worth selling. Which is a pity because the shop has been a great way of making a little extra money on the side.

That said, I need to finally publish my ad for raw angora fiber… Which is another project that I’ve been letting lapse. harvesting the wool from my rabbit.

[shakes head] whew. I need a personal assistant…or at least a dayplanner.

 

it don’t take much to (dis)satisfy me

21 Sep 2010 Leave a comment

by FilthyRotten in Que for the Anger, The things I do, Time Eaters

So. I’ve always prided myself on pretty much avoiding drama at all cost… unless it’s my own personal drama. Then I get neck deep in THAT shit. But I try to keep from spreading it around the world.

So how come suddenly I’m really interested in everyone elses? And why i my skin so fucking thin?

Nonsense.

I also need to realize (and accept) that there are people who just don’t like me… for whatever reason. (I mean GODDAMN I’m a fucking PRINCESS MOTHERFUCKER!! AGREE WITH MEEE!!!) I mean… I realize (belatedly) that I’ve been flinging myself at people in a whingy sort of I LIKE YOU! BE MAH FRIEND! sort of way and that they just don’t have the fucking spine to say “that’s nice dear, but I find you repugnant.”

Yeah, I think that’s my major malfunction today. I know I’m wasting my time… now. But you? Find a fucking spine, cross breeder.

…and I wondered if it’s cuz you were gone.

13 Jul 2010 2 Comments

by FilthyRotten in 7 loves of 7 lives, My Galveston, The things I do

Right now, In this minute I wonder how bizarre my life is and will be.

I could write a novel about how conflicted I feel about my aunt’s passing. I could make a joke about her ashes sitting in a wooden box on the front seat of my car.

I could cry, I suppose.

I can’t get over the empty feeling of something is wrong here. She’s not missing, she’s not just in her house. I won’t be able to go and unlock the door and find her. I won’t be able to call her and tell her about this bad dream I’ve been having. I won’t be able to… anything. I am so fucking…I’ve been looking through this haze at my whole life and nothing has touched me.

I’ve cried. At her funeral, when I was supposed to be sleeping instead… but just a few tears….like somewhere else the vessel that I really am was too full to hold it all.

I don’t want to be alone, I know that. I’ve slept less and interacted with with the kids more. I’ve been scared for them… but I’m more scared for me. IF that makes sense. I’m afraid I’m going to break down and hurt myself.

On some level I want to break down, completely, until there’s nothing left other than jagged and sharp little edges.

I want to feel something anything …anything other than hollow.

From 750 Words

05 Mar 2010 1 Comment

by FilthyRotten in ...and writing!, Faith, in a Blue October kind of mood, in love on blogging, MDKs, On Love, or whatever, Que for the Anger, The things I do

So just write, about whatever?
Write here while my blog languishes? [sigh]
okay, here goes.
Today I feel like a douche. I cut myself off from my family because I just couldn’t take being treated like a second class citizen any more. I just couldn’t take the constant drama and the assumption that everything I do is wrong. I couldn’t take the added guilt of my aunt nor the nuttiness of my mother. I just couldn’t do it.
Now, I feel like a loser, wondering why and what and how I got to this level. What tiny thing snapped the camels back that I should ditch an older, terminally ill woman and my brass nuts crazy mother?
And it goes back to all the times in all these years that I’ve felt so damn impotent and enraged. But who has the perfect family? Not I. Not you.
Is cutting them off the right answer? I mean where do I go from here? Will my own kids cut me off if I’m too much of a burden or too demanding or if I too go fucking brass balls crazy? (Because I don’t think my mother was always like she is, maybe I drove her to it, maybe she got hold of some bad weed…)
But I can’t balance my aunt’s financial problems and neediness, my mother’s constant flipping from abuse to disregard that tainted love she’s always doling out. That awkward affection that is so brittle and so easily turned into rage.
I can’t balance that with my husband, treating him like a real human…like a man with his own insecurities, passions, adoration, quirks… I can’t balance it with my kids 3 doses of COMPLETELY UNIQUE INDIVIDUALS who need me in their own special way… I can’t balance that with my own health problems, my own lack of ambition. my own self loathing, my own needs.
Sometimes I feel like I’m drowning in it. And I lock myself away. And I watch my own awkward shows of affection became …not rage but stilted silence. I’m so much like my mother it fucking scares the shit out of me. I’ll catch my reflection and something wells up inside of me. It’s fear and loathing and distaste and shame.
I see her in me and think that I’ve failed.
I couldn’t save her, I can’t save me. From what? I don’t know. I just want something other than how I feel about her.
I mean I can’t spend 40 minutes in her company without wanting to rage and beat my fists against something.
And I can’t let it go.
No matter how hard I try I just can’t forgive her for everything. Not when every day goes by and she just keeps doing the same thing over and over and I just have to forgive every single time.
And feel guilty for the anger I feel.
You can’t blame a cat for being a cat I told myself. Over and over and over again.
But there comes a point when you’re just fucking sick of being scratched.
I don’t know if I can do this every day.
3 pages of confession.
It makes me think of the early days of my first blog. I would just pour my self out and it felt great.
To just dump my burdens on something else for a while. Granted it didn’t solve my problems and this won’t eighter. It’s liekly to MAKE problems before it solves anything but it’s the same feeling of just emptying myself.
I’ve missed this.
I don’t have anyone to talk to not really, not anyone I trust enough to confess to. There was something soothing about the anonymous Internets. but now I’ve exposed myself on my blog. Everyone knows who I am and I don’t know how to retract it. Like a vampire I can’t tell people that I’ve revoked them.
I wish I so could. That would be amazing.
So, as I write this I know I’m going to post it to my blog. Or at least portions of it, because, I mean damn…
I’m so flaky.
But my blog has become like a … a monster that sits hungry and expectant. and I have to fill it with words and emotions. And to tell you the truth the past few years have been so damn wasted with my blog.
No real posts or content, nothing but mindlessness.
I’ll rectify that somehow. Rent a life or something.
Oh look. 752 words. Bing.

You’ve got to get up.

21 Feb 2010 Leave a comment

by FilthyRotten in buffoons are not like baboons, or whatever, Que for the Anger, The things I do

I have a strange bruise/lump on my shin that’s not faded or gone away at all in quite a few weeks.

I noticed last night that it has changed shape and size and …well, I’m scared. I keep thinking to Doris the Tewwible and her amputated leg and I just want to scream. What if it happens to me? I’m no good at walking half the time, hobbling is just not in the cards for me!

So to the Doctor’s I will go.

Even though I’m convinced that EVERY TIME you visit a DR he’s just trying to find new and expensive ways to tell you that you’re dying of something vicious and rare that you could have TOTALLY avoided if only you’d come to him (or her) earlier. Oh, what? No health insurance? Sry. Your healthcare is in another country.

In other news-

I got an accidentally adult hairstyle.

Not adult as in boomchickawowow, but adult as in “Should I go ahead and invest in that ROTH?” or “What’s the overall return on that IRA?”

Funny how Thirty snuck up and sucker punched me in the responsibilities. Because that ROTH? It are mine. And I know what the return is gonna be.

But no,

I went to the salon (even though I hate salons and all those smarmasours) and the guy was all like “OMGWTF!?” when I told him I wanted it purple. He was like “well I have a rinse…” and I was all like “GROW SOME BALLS PANSY!!” and told him to bleach it and gimme some REAL COLOR, BITCH!

So first he over processed my hair. I should have known I was in trouble when he started putting bleach on my hair and using those metal papers? Like my hair was tasty left overs smeared with a whitening agent.

And boy howdy… white it was! On the right side he’d lightened my hair so much that it was a sickly yellow white while every where else was ranged in the Brass to Copper stages of OVER FUCKING PROCESSED!!

And yeah, the white fell out. I was all like, dude, you done fucked up. and he was all like. OMGWTF…UH…IT FELL OUT CUZ IT’S WET LOL.

So then he puts the dye in.

What a loser. First it’s blue dye he put in. Second it’s a DARK BLUE as in BLUE WITH A BLACK BASE. So I have black hair…well black with blue highlights save for the places where it’s kinda grayish blue looking.

[facepalm] so he’s all like UM. NOT WHAT YOU WANTED? LOL?

But, I like the cut, it’s more businessy and maybe my boss won’t be all “OMG, YOUR HAIR! LAWL!”

[sigh]

Previous Older Entries

Design a site like this with WordPress.com
Get started