Daily writing prompt

Share a proverb you think is completely wrong and make your case.

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I’m going to roll with Ignorance Is Bliss, because I believe it is.

But only for the ignorant person.

Let me explain.

Everyone seems to know someone who is the human embodiment of this proverb. A person who drifts through life without a care in the world and, coincidentally, without a single gray hair on their head.

The heads around them, however, are white.

Why?

Because the rest of us spend our time worrying about things like rent, food, bills, medical care, and other inconvenient details required to survive.

Meanwhile, Mr. Bliss, who may or may not be my brother-in-law, has a serious case of COPD and continues to smoke.

Naturally, I asked if he’d seen a pulmonary specialist.

“No,” he said. “I get steroids from Mexico online.”

Which led to the obvious follow-up question.

“How do you know they’re steroids?”

Without missing a beat, he replied, “Because I can breathe better.”

Suddenly, my fear of taking two Advil seemed a little excessive.

Years ago, he lost an eye and ended up with a prosthetic.

His eyes are brown.

The replacement was blue.

Of course, I asked why.

He looked at me as though I were the unreasonable one.

“Because women like men with blue eyes.”

I considered explaining that women generally prefer two matching eyes, but decided against it.

Now, before you get too distracted by the blue eye, I should mention that the blue eye was later stolen by a roommate.

Yes, stolen.

No, I don’t know why.

And yes, he simply ordered another eye online.

Which somehow led him to explain that you can’t trust things that come from China.

This is from a man who orders replacement body parts through an internet search box.

Just when you think Mr. Bliss has exhausted the list of things that could cause his family concern, it turns out he has lost his dentures.

Lost them.

A full set of teeth.

Naturally, questions followed.

Where did you leave them?

How do you lose an entire mouth?

Why weren’t they in your mouth?

For once, I was relieved by the answer.

“I don’t know.”

What I wasn’t prepared for was the next step.

He ordered replacement teeth online.

Apparently, there is an entire corner of the internet devoted to body-part replacements that I never knew existed.

The teeth that arrived were tiny.

Not slightly small.

Tiny.

Like doll teeth.

Do dolls even have teeth?

As I’m writing this, I can feel new gray hairs forming.

Which brings me back to the proverb.

Ignorance Is Bliss is absolutely true.

It’s just important to remember that the bliss belongs to the ignorant person.

I know you’re all wondering where the eye went, who stole it, why the teeth are doll-sized, and whether those mystery steroids from Mexico are actually Tic Tacs.

But sometimes we’re not meant to get answers, because they just create more questions.

At this point, preserving my hair color is more important than solving the mystery.