Good ole Merriam-Webster defines a mentor as “an experienced and trusted advisor.” That seems like a big shoe to fill, but nonetheless, these size 11s mentor two children at one of the local elementary schools.

This is my second school year participating in the program, and it is truly a learning experience for all of us. It is no accident that these two kids came into my life. Kids are wonderful teachers.

The boy I see, and I have something very odd in common. There is a significant age gap between our parents; his father had him at 57, just like me. Neither one of us could believe it!

Growing up, having an old dad wasn’t always easy for me; he experienced those challenges, too. While his friends have young, athletic dads right at home, he has an older dad who loves art and music, isn’t into sports, and doesn’t live with him. Being a bit different can be tricky, but it’s part of what makes our stories unique.

In January, my little guy turned 10—yes, double digits. He was excited about his birthday, mainly because he was going to his dad’s house to ride his mini bike. The following week, I was eager to hear about the festivities. We sat down together, and I said, “Okay, I want to hear all about turning 10!” In a whisper, he replied, “My dad passed away two days before my birthday.” Time literally stopped.

This was a moment that really changed everything for me. I was stunned and wrapped my arms around him in a tight hug. He must have noticed how shaken I was because he gently said, “It’s okay; he’s in a better place.” As we talked more, I found out there hadn’t been a service, he wasn’t sick, and his mom and sister were “okay, I guess,” and I was the only one he felt comfortable sharing this with. My head was spinning, but I felt grateful for his trust.

His dad recently taught him how to play a card game and shuffle the deck, so we played cards in his honor. He likes to talk while playing games and beats me every time. He loves to win.

After our session, I contacted the woman in charge of the mentoring program to inquire if the school was notified. His mother never contacted the school, and his teachers had no clue. He never missed a day. Are you kidding me?!

This little angel had been sitting alone for over a week with all kinds of emotions until he told me. Don’t get me wrong; I’m over the moon that we have this bond and that he felt comfortable sharing, but my heart was in a million pieces.

Needless to say, the woman in charge informed his teachers. Apparently, they noticed something was off but didn’t inquire. The other thing I learned was that there are all sorts of services available for him to process this grief professionally at this school, but, of course, he can’t receive them unless his mother calls to make that request. That’s not happening.

I’ve been shaken ever since. I’m navigating my schedule to see him more often, but there will be no contact once summer comes. So many barriers prevent this child from getting help while common sense and humanity sit on the sidelines, shaking their heads. It’s so frustrating!

Sometimes, rules just need to be broken for the greater good.

Enjoy the Ride, potholes and all!