Tag Archives: Insecurity

by | 2025/11/08 · 9:54 am

Cure for perfectionism

The deepest and most important part of the cure for perfectionism is found in our beliefs about God. Many religions prescribe rules and rituals that render followers acceptable to a deity. Christianity is profoundly and wonderfully different because the Bible tells us that we are accepted, forgiven, loved, and valued not for what we achieve or how we look, but because of Christ’s perfect sacrifice for us.

As we embrace the transforming truth of the gospel, we are set free to pursue excellence and high standards without fear of failure or rejection and with gratitude to God. He is more interested in the inner development of character than in appearance or performance. In Jesus’ command to be perfect (Mt. 5:48), the word perfect means “mature” or “complete.” We are called to cooperate with the Spirit of God to produce the qualities of Christ in us (see Col. 3:1–14).

But in the process of spiritual growth, the old habits of perfectionist thinking die hard. Insecurity, feelings of insignificance, the desire to control, fear of rejection and failure … these are based on lies that must be replaced with truth. Our minds are renewed gradually as we allow the powerful blend of God’s Spirit, God’s truth, and God’s people to work his love, forgiveness, and purpose deeply in us (Rom. 12:2).

Good and grace-filled friendships and the acceptance of the church family are important sources of healing. In these rich, real relationships, we no longer live behind masks, and we experience grace and truth. We all need a safe place to take risks and to fail without fear of rejection.

As the Holy Spirit works in us to change us little by little, we have the promise that one day in the new heaven and new earth, God will give us the perfection that we long for and that he so desires. Meanwhile we wait eagerly and patiently for that day (Rom. 8:23; 2 Cor. 3:18).

Richard Winter

The Popular Encyclopedia of Christian Counseling, General Editors: Dr. Tim Clinton & Dr Ron Hawkins

References

Many points in this article are gleaned from Richard Winter, Perfecting Ourselves to Death: The Pursuit of Excellence and the Perils of Perfectionism (Downers Grove, IL: InterVarsity Press, 2005). Used with permission of the publisher.

Anthony, M., & Swinson, R. (2009). When Perfect Isn’t Good Enough: Strategies for Coping with Perfectionism. Oakland, CA: New Harbinger.

Elliot, M., & Meltsner, S. (1991). The Perfectionist Predicament: How to Stop Driving Yourself and Others Crazy. New York, NY: William Morrow.

Flett, G. L., & Hewitt, P. L. (2002). Perfectionism and maladjustment: An overview of theoretical, definitional, and treatment issues. In G. Flett & P. Hewitt (Eds.), Perfectionism: Theory, Research and Treatment. Washington, DC: American Psychological Association.

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by | 2021/11/19 · 2:49 pm

Silence: The language of Chaos

 

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by | 2020/12/08 · 2:00 pm

The self and the other in times of insecurity

In these times of insecurity, we can see that lots of people are not sure about themselves and get lost.

Insecurity, primarily due to social and economic instability, but also exacerbated by a weakening of the perception of ethical principles makes man feeling very bad these days.

The perception of ethical principles that underpin the law and personal moral attitudes, which always give strength to the rules that govern society, have so much weakened or moral and ethical values have been placed in the cupboard and are way forgotten.

People should know even when churches may be closed, it are those institutions which can bring some light in the darkness. Modern thought has developed a reductive view of conscience, according to which there are no objective references in determining what has value and what is true; rather, each individual provides his own measure through his own intuitions and experiences, each possesses his own truth and his own morals. When each individual has and keeps to his or her own morals we shall come to see chaos.

People have forgotten that the Creator has provided a Guide for life. Whatever the situation may be, man should be able to find answers to his questions and find solutions for the crisis encountered. All those who feel depressed, feeling down by the present Corona situation, should know that when everybody would keep to the regulations prescribed by the government everybody would soon find it much easier to cope because it would not take such a long time as it has taken now.

Because there are so many people who do not know the Scriptures or have forgotten or abandoned the Gospel announcement, they no longer identify themselves in a community of brothers and sisters where agape love is the most important rule.

Many environments, even in traditionally Christian societies, are reluctant to open themselves to the word of faith and have placed the “Self” or “I” in the first place, giving not much place for protecting the other. today we can see a lot of people who pu their self interest at the beginning of their activity line. They are not concerned what their presence might do on a shopping street or in a shopping mall. One can wonder why they were not able to go online to buy the goods they so urgently do need to have.

Whilst a lot of worry circles around, many do not seem to worry about the effect of their presence on the streets or in the shops. Is it out of ignorance or out of selfishness that they are not concerned about taking more precaution measures to avoid spreading the coronavirus?

When one could place the “self” more aside and give more thought to the “other”, especcially to all those working in the health sector, for sure all the measures the goverment asks to follow would be so much easier to follow and would not feel as a limitation or restriction of our liberty.

So many people are complaining that they would be not able to celebrate Christmas. Why and how does it come they would not be able to have some sacred time together with their own household members? How does it come they can not make it cosy and pleasant for their own little bulb?

If they want to go to church, why can they not enjoy the virtual church service their church may be offering? Or is their church insisting, contrary to the governmental advice, to come together in the church building?

Each sensible person should know it is his or her duty to do everything to protect the other. Under duty of gratitude towards recognisance, each should muster the brotherly love to work for the good or welfare of the other and as such keep to the safety measurements.

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Read also:

  1. Tinderbox for domestic violence
  2. No time yet to relax the CoViD-19 restriction measures
  3. Just to remember for the coming Winter holiday period
  4. Challenges of the Post-Pandemic period
  5. What ethical principles do we need in the Covid-19 pandemic?
  6. Turning Your Home into a Sacred Space

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by | 2019/07/15 · 3:14 pm

A great five-minute “film” from Bianco, a Danish shoe brand

Receiving followers of my personal blog, it gives me also more possibilities to find writers from all over the world who have something good to contribute or giving others possibilities to discover other things.

Today I found my way to a

“Husband, dad, brother, uncle, nephew, friend, teacher, ex-swimmer, blogger, vegan, juggler, learner, introvert”

and as such someone who many more people could fit this cultural stereotype. As a “60-something guy trying to figure out the world, and his place in it” he does not mind going into minds of others or showing what others might think and feel. Doing that he gives us the opportunity to have some nice feeling coming over us. Sometimes he even might write a post he had not planned. {The 18 Uses for Dr. Bronner’s Amazing Soap}

I am not so good in following the fashion world any more (though I must admit I also made my way of living of it by choreographing fashion shows in the past). We should not be afraid to know presents brands, soon our children or grandchildren may let us know about them or give it to us. {The 18 Uses for Dr. Bronner’s Amazing Soap}. Mr. Jim Borden may always be looking for something to write about,

it almost became a necessity to proactively go out into the world and do things or to simply observe more closely what is going on. {Writing Is a Symptom of Thinking}

The blogger may know that the essence of Wheeler’s Which is that the customer should always be given a choice between something and something, not a choice between something and nothing. {What in the World Is Wheeler’s Which}

Good to notice that last year, the company Bestseller made great strides towards sourcing 100 percent more sustainable cotton and made a significant commitment to reducing its greenhouse gas emissions plus revealed plans to build its own solar power plant. More: Fashion FWD seems to be Bestseller’s ambitious strategy that will make sustainability central to its way of doing business. Bestseller wants to do its part to transform the fashion industry for a sustainable reality. It’s the right thing to do and it also makes good business sense.

foto van Bianco.

There you can get shoes of Bianco, which was founded by René Piper Laursen in 1987 with a vision of developing an international brand based on a profitable franchise concept. Bianco tells its customers that it offers fashion-forward footwear with sublime international standards and at an affordable price to a wider audience of women and men. Bianco is represented in more than 100 retail stores (a mix between own stores and franchise) and wholesalers in Scandinavia. I must confess I do not know if they succeed to make great shoes, pumps, stilettos, trainers, hi-tops, boots, bootees, ballerinas and other cool accessories like bags, belts, clutches, scarves and jewellery, but for sure I was pleasantly surprised when by the article of Mr. Borden I could enjoy one of their “spectacular ad campaigns”.

Lovely to see they dare to touch social strings.

He presents a film of the Danish shoe brand, part of Bianco’s “Step Out of Your Head” campaign and gives their description of it from the campaign web site:

In this year’s campaign, we’re encouraging you to silence your worst critic, yourself. Most of us tend to let our thoughts run away with us, and let our insecurities take hold. But by giving our inner thoughts its time in the limelight, we might inspire a more positive way of thinking about ourselves.

He too had never heard of Bianco before watching this video, and he also would not have known that it was a footwear company based on watching it. {Falling in Love on a Lift} (Though when they look down at their feet one could perhaps notice the Product Placement – and by law in Belgium it should have the PP logo in the right corner when screened publicly.) (- On the video there is no PP-logo, so viewers might stay in the dark. -)

I loved the short film.

In any case it is by such findings and people writing about their explorations we too can find some other worlds and interesting things to see. Therefore, now my turn to introduce you to Mr. Borden his blog and the Bianco film. Please do enjoy his trying to figure out the world, and his place in it.

Borden’s Blog

Falling in Love on a Lift

foto van Bianco.

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