After taking my Princess to school, i immediately went to the doctor. After last nights inner turmoil I thought that would be best. They doctor happened to have a cancelation and fit me right in. I made sure that my schedule at work would allow fo such and i was in luck that my 8am H.R. meeting was rescheduled.

The doctor agreed with my self diagnosis last night with  issues directly related to the BP medicine. He quickly noted that the dosage was not high enough to keep me at an even keel. Hmm…what a concept. I laughed as i sat there thinking to myself why in the world  do i continue to go to these doctors when i seem to know more regarding my condition than they do. I guess its probably the fact that the medicines that keep me functional have to come from them, otherwise i probably just wouldnt go. Afterall my blood pressure this morning rang in at a whopping 176/106 and to make matters considerably worse my sugar levels were at 245. HOLY SCHNIKEYS!!!!! Needless to say, I thought that I would go to work after this lovely appointment.

I arrived at work, was briefed my the boss and away to my lair i went. After an hour or so of staring at my computer screen aimlessly and with every refraction of light piercing my last nerve I thought it best to take myself home before this trainwreck not only completely derailed but caused nuclear disaster too.

I made the courtesy call to the husband to advise of such lovely doctors results and that i would be returning home to rest. He did not seem to have any concern as usual. He was more concerned with what he was about to do. So, i left well enough alone and told hin i would see him later.

I had a lovely chat with one of my dearest friends, wherein i was reminded that I GOT THIS and no worries, to go home, get some rest, i am loved and all will be fine in time. I love those small reminders from such great friends. I am truly blessed with some of the best!

My pillow was calling my name and i couldnt seem to make it there quick enough. I shed the work clothes and back into PJ’s and fast asleep i fell. With dreams of exotic fruit, cinnamon skin, beautiful blue eyed children playing amongst the sands and Prince Charming by my side. A girl begins to wonder is it possible? Does he really exist? I believe the answer to that question is time will tell. At this point i am completely ecstatic that i have managed to get a few hours of rest and peace. It was quite refreshing. Just what the doctor ordered!

Rise and shine, dressed and off to pick up my princess from school in the pouring down rain. Its a rather gloomy day in paradise today. The princess is running late from class and isnt on the ramp. This Mommy is getting a little nervous after the 4th call with no answer. So as i pull up to park and go in to find my child, she peeks around the corner and once again i am relieved. Such things rattle me to the core since the loss of my second little girl to SIDS and RSV. I am a completely overprotective mother and i am quite aware of it. I am working on allowing my daughter to venture a little more with her age changes, but if you have ever lost a child you know that this particular act isnt always possible at times. Finally she is safe and sound in my presence and I couldnt be more happier just hearing of her daily events. Her rants and raves of he did this and she did that brings a smile to my face. I love that my daughter feels free enough to share her events with Mommy. I cherish her every word.

My phone rings and it is an automated service from the department of revenue. Now my husband and i have to beautiful little girls together. Little Miss Dakota a.k.a. Princess and our angel baby Cierra Lei (R.I.P). He however has a son from his first marriage. It was an automated service as a reminder to return paperwork regarding insurance. Now, I often get called a winch and such other not so nice names, however in this case, i carry not only health, but life, dental and vision insurance on my step son of which my husband has not seen since he was 2. I reitterate I carry the insurance. I pay for it. I make sure all the records are updated and I make sure that the Department of Revenue/child support people have the verification to keep said husband out of hot water. One would think he would be thankful. However, when i call to tell him of this reminder and ask if he had said paperwork he acts in distain as if i am bothering him and it is no concern of his. Since i carry the insurance and if it is not updated it could ultimately affect my daughter and my coverage as well i let him know i will handle it since it doesnt seem to make it to his care list. I call said agency and get it handled.

To much dismay I call the lovely husband back and let him know that i have handled the matter regarding HIS son. At this point you would think such a gesture would call for atleast a thank you. Not hardly. He treats me as if my words are just irritating and them lets me know that he is trying to eat his lunch and i am disrupting his day. WOW… lets not forget that i just handled your personal matters and might have just saved yout ass, but not even a thank you.. WHAT A JERK!

So, I guess the moral of todays story is that you really cant change stupid. I will continue to live by my teachings and keep my head up. I refuse to let ungrateful individuals rain on my parade. The grass is greener on the other side. This i am sure of!

Last night was a bit of a tangled mess. I came home from work feeling quite a bit out of place. Quite beside myself and lost in thought. I had had a rather interesting day at work and it was weighing on my nerves. I am sure the fact that I have a nervous condition wasnt helping matters much.

Anyways, i arrived home in time to read a small 35 page childrens book with my daughter and tuck her into bed. Reading time is a treat for me every evening. Since my princess has learrned to read I no longer get to read bedtime stories to her as she insists that she read them to me now. It is music to my ears and warms my heart. It is safe to assume that i am one proud mommy. Once we had read Molly Mouse it was time for baby girl kisses, prayers and lights out. Prayers echoed to include thank you to our Lord for giving us another day in paradise and another day to cherish all that we have been given together, requests to guide us in behaving and learning in this fast paced and sometimes complicated world and last but not least requests to watch over family and friends and keep us all safe for another day. Sweet Princess kisses and she was all tucked in snug as a bug in a rug and as i went to turn off the light she made sure to remind me to shut her bedroom door.

After such a ruckous at work I was mentally exhausted. This mommy was ready for bed at 8pm. Very unusual, but to be expected in late effects of injury and illness. So i put the good ole Mickey Mouse PJ’s on and off to bed I went.  I thought for sure i would be in dreamland in a matter of seconds. I guess i seem to think wrong often when it cones to the sleeping topic. I layed there wide awake  with my head spinning and the walls feeling like they were closing in until i was nauseous.  I guess my mind finally gave way and i fell asleep.

I awoke around 11pm suddenly to the nauseasness and complete bearingless feeling. I felt like i was sea sick standing on solid ground. I thought to myself, hmmm..why in the world do i feel so odd? So the wheels in my head started turning. Had i eaten anything different? Did I remember to eat? I hadnt changed laundry soaps so I knew that it wouldnt be any allergy to such things. Finally i get to the change of medicine thoughts. Its safe to say I really was not the brightest crayon in the box at this point. I should have gone to this thought first. My doctor had changed my blood pressure medicine and it was the first day on the old but new medicine. I have taken this medicine before but somehow this time it just didnt seem to agree with me.

I called out to the husband who was setting 15 ft in front of me on the couch. My words fell upon deaf ears. I repeated myselld for about 15 minutes and  i  finally gave up. Now feeling totally distraught and  completely pissed off to no avail, an elephants setting on my chest, i can barely breathe and it is highly likely that i am having a serious adverse reaction to medicine at this point ita clear my dear husband has absolutely no idea because he has turtle beaches (earphones) on and is playing call of duty with all of his buddies. I guess my health with have to take a back seat to his video games yet again. NOT! I give up and quite frankly just said the hell with him.

Calling Mommy and Daddy at midnight is always an ordeal. My Daddy is a worry wart, but i was left with no other choice. It was call Mommy and Daddy or just call the ambulance at this point. My Mommy always answers. I am truly blessed with wonderful loving parents of which i can depend on to be there anytime. Mom’s first question was do we need to make a trip to the E.R. and of coarse my answer was No Ma’am, im not ready for that yet. I explained the lovely sea sick feeling, along with the elephant on the chest and just plain ol nervousness, jitters, aggitation to everything and lovely migraine to boot. We then began to discuss prior medical procedures, medicines and effects. Mom and I came to the conclusion that the BP medicine was to blame. So, now that i felt a liitle better just reassured that I would be alright thru the night and to call the doctor in the morning I thought I would take myself back to sleep.

My lovely husband has all the sudden, now an hour later, decided that he wants to be inquisitive as to what is going on with me. Funny thing is that instead of turning his video games off and being a real husband he just takes one side of his earphones off to eavesdrop in on my conversation with my mother all the while he continues to play his xbox.. A quick who are you talking to at midnight rolls off his tongue to which i very abruptly reply it is my mother. He didnt seem to care why I was on the phone or rather what would make me get out of bed and pick up the phone at midnight, rather his only concern was who i would be talking to at midnight. Stand up guy? I say that in the best of terms.

I assured my Mom and Dad that if i needed medical attention thru the night i would be sure to call them immediately. This was to thei satisfaction and we said out goodnights. No sooner than i hung up the phone, my loving and caring husband decides that it may be a bit of an importance now to find out why I am not feeling well. So I told him no worries, i am fine and i will continue to hold my own. Thanked him for his complete lack of care or concern and again for the 5th time of the night, told him goodnight. This was not to his satisfaction. It seems that he wanted to know why i felt bad. So i discussed the side effects and medicines and such in as minimal words as possible and then off to bed i went.

As I again lay there waiting to fall asleep the only thoughts pondering thru my head were related to KARMA. Its only a matter of time before all events come to light and he can no longer dodge the karma that is due. Prayers roll off my tongue to keep me safe and let me wake for another day, thanks for all that i have been given is said and a quick Lord please help him to get a clue finally wraps it up.

Good Night and off to dreamland i go!

The day started off absolutely wonderful. Waking up to my Princess standing at my side with open arms waiting on me to scoop her up with lots of “loveys” was without a doubt the best way to wake up ever! I quickly seized the opportunity to give her hugs and kisses and remind her she is and will always be my prettiest princess ever! Then it off to get dressed, teeth brushed, mop brushed and out the door. We picked up my neighbors daughter because she wanted to ride to school with her HEY HEY and Kotabear! For those of you who dont personally know me, all of my kiddos including my own neices and nephews call me HEY HEY. I love it.

Off to school I go with kids all buckled in, bright eyed and jaws a jabbering. As they get out of the car I hear both of the precious girls say I love you. Perfect harmony and heart melting at the same time. I quickly reply to both of them telling them I love them both and hope they have a great day at school. As my daughter enters onto the sidewalk and begins to walk away I again remind her that she is the prettiest princess in the world and I love her all the way to the moon and back a million bazillion times and then some. She giggles and begins her short walk to class.

Off to work right, Wrong! Its off to the lovely doctors I go. Physical therapy was some kind of torture. I endured ever pain staking minute of it with a smile. I was in therapy alongside a child today. She had been beaten and then struck by a car and was learning to walk again. Yes, when I say child I mean child. She was approximately 4 or 5 years old. Her parents were addicted to drugs and one of them beat her and the other was too high to realize she was running out of the house to escape such hell that he ran over his own precious child. So, I guess I cant exactly complain to much about my knee hurting. That little girls face was absolutely precious and although you could see the pain in her delicate and frail body, she stood tall and with the prettiest smile one has ever seen.

In that instance I was reminded to be thankful and that someone else always has it worse. I wanted to hold this little girl and tell her that I am sorry for the hell she was put thru and to reassure her that it will get better. All the while I really wanted to know who in this world were her parents. I would love to be the person that yanks the needle of poison out of the mothers arm and gladly stabs her eyeballs ou with it. What would she need them for. She was clearly too blind to see a masterpiece of beauty before her already. I would have to say the father would deserve just the same treatment! How could you? This precious angel is an absolute blessing and the two persons she is supposed to count on to protect her, teach her and guide her with loving arms have just failed her with a vengence. I finished therapy and left there with a heavy heart.

Now to work I go. It was a very busy day, however it seem to go off without a hitch today. My boss is a wonderful boss. She is very southern and it shows. She tells me everyday thank you for the work that you have done and that she appreciates it. Kind of unheard of in this day and age. Its a breath of fresh air most days just to hear real hospitality and manners. She portrays both well. She decided I could go home half an hour early today and for this I was greatful.

And off to home i went. Ready for that ever illustrious favorite show of mine. Its called the back of my eyelids and i never seem to get to watch it enough these days.