Coach Luke | This Week in Milford

April 22, 2026

Same old same old, kemo sabe.

Filed under: boring memories, Coach Luke, Coach Ochoa, lazy artwork, Pissy faced Luke Martinez, Pissy faced Ochoa, same story 2 days straight — teenchy @ 6:40 pm

Three identical panels today, save for eyes, mouths, shirt wrinkles, and background randos. Oh, and those word balloons, which is what we probably should focus on.

Isn’t it funny how Gil never seems to get bothered when his older child pulls some stunt? Isn’t it funnier that Milford High hasn’t had a walkout before this? Not even during the ‘Nam or any of our other little excursions? (That’s my signal to the hive mind to hit the archives.)

Then we come to Ochoa. Is she pulling another retcon, like the time she forgot that she got into a fight with Gil as a student? In making the leap from supersoph hoopster to fully grown lesbian coach, she got a lot of informed backstory. She also got a lotta nerve. I reckon it’s okay to insult your co-worker in front of your boss as long as it’s in a language that’s different from your boss’s first language, n’est-ce pas, salope?

As for that co-worker, someone needs to check his motivation. Luke “No-Neck” Martinez echoes the law-and-order party line. Easy for him to do: he’s got a pity job from his boss and his wife’s a highly successful cardiac surgeon. This practically makes him the Establishment. Of course he’s big on pulling the ladder up behind him. Given that ICE goes after anyone darker than Gil and with the barest hint of a Latino name, both he and Ochoa need to keep their heads on a swivel.

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April 3, 2026

Shakespeare turning in his grave

Filed under: ?, Coach Luke, Gil Thorp, golf, Keri Thorp, Milford Weirdos, Miserable characters, Our National Disgrace, sports Henry knows nothing about, What the hell is going on here? — robmize2013 @ 10:05 am

3 more panels of complete nonsense by both Barajas and the artist. What the hell is Luke doing carrying what looks like 2 sets of clubs to the tryout? I didnt even know golf coaches carried clubs to a tryout. The PLAYERS bring their own clubs. My god, if youre trying out for a golf team the least you can do is have your own freakin clubs! The damn school doesnt supply them for you! What do you think this is?? Yeah, a few recruits. 4 kids standing right next to each other like doofusses waiting for Gil to tell them what to do. . They look like Hogans Heroes at roll call. Nobody warming up hitting balls early, etc. No concept of reality in this strip anywhere.

When I tried out for my golf team we went to the home course of our school and played 9 holes, 2 days in a row. Then the coaches reviewed our scores and picked the team. I shot 52-52 and got cut. No surprise, as the course was pretty tough and I was only in my 3rd year playing. But THAT was how tryouts went. I never said a word to the coach in 2 days. Our play was what got us on the team. Whatever the hell this is, I hope Gil knows its way too late to be showing everyone how to play golf. With someone elses clubs. Im not even going into how you need your own clubs that FIT you and your swing.

And another Henry smart remark in P3, as Gil compares making a drink to coaching a golf team. Heavens. As the kids stand stock still watching him walk by as if they arent there. Some golf coach he is. Some team they are.

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January 7, 2026

An audience with the Pope + a Ouija board = an ordained minister?

Filed under: Beth the bartender, bizarre cameos, boring memories, Coach Luke, exposition comics, Gil Thorp — teenchy @ 9:25 pm

If Guest Artist Jason Margos got the memo from Henry that today’s Gil Thorp readers don’t care about sports, he didn’t get it until after he made the effort to draw a decent looking set of bleachers, folding chairs and scoreboard. Hardly any fans in the stands, so maybe that’s his way of acknowledging the supposed reality.

About that reality. We’ve got a little bit of retcon going on today, or at least some embellishment on the Gil/Beth backstory. Luke called bullshit on Gil’s little charade on Marty Moon’s show and he wasn’t wrong. Now Gil goes the extra mile and admits that, even though he told Beth he was married, he hung out with her well after last call and on more than one occasion. Luke did not “lie about the whole thing” and Gil was not being completely honest with Mimi about his interaction with Beth.

The fact that Mimi and Ericka were already sniffing each other up by that time is probably why Mimi wasn’t bothered by the whole thing. The fact that Luke sees through all of Gil’s bullshit is probably why Gil feels comfortable asking him to… be his officiant? What exactly qualifies Luke for this role? Did he join the Seventh-Day Junkists?

Bizarre Cameos Dept.: the part of Gil Thorp is being played today by Walter Matthau. Also, since when does Gil dress up to coach?

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December 10, 2025

Lying Comatose in a Hospital Doesn’t Count As a Sick Day?

Filed under: Coach Luke, Coach Ochoa, Coach Tays, dopes, Dr. Pearl, female moustache, Gil Thorp, metapost, Pantheon of Mysterious Objects, Pissy faced Ochoa — teenchy @ 9:11 pm

How did Dr. Pearl count this, then?

Speaking of counting, does it count as sports if the coaches are wearing their matching team polos in an administrator’s office? ‘Cause that’s as close as we get today.

Naturally the Mudlark coaching staff are all chomping at the bit to run the show. Well, at least one of them is. Luke goes all Alexander Haig and tries to take charge but quickly gets shot down by Ochoa, who has no problems swearing in the office. (We’ve used pendejo a few times to describe the action but this is a first in the actual strip AFAIK.) There have been two ADs at VT since Luke held that position, so he’s pretty rusty anyway.

Coach Babu came to Milford because she “wanted to learn from the best” but since Gil is gonna be out for the rest of the week, she thought she might as well stay home too. She should be watching Tays, who has learned the most from Gil: sit back and let everyone else do the work.

meta: If all goes according to plan, our own tdrew should be rejoining the rotation tomorrow. Please give him a warm TWIM welcome when he does. teenchy out.

late edit: Pantheon of Mysterious Objects Dept.: What’s that yellow thing behind Tays’ head? The 2014 State Football Champions trophy? A statue of Lemongrab from Adventure Time?

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September 17, 2025

“…at least, not until the next round of budget cuts.”

Filed under: Coach Babu, Coach Luke, Coach Ochoa, Coach Tays, exposition comics, Gil Thorp, Pissy faced Gil, Pissy faced minor character, Pissy faced Ochoa, recycled storylines, same story 2 days straight — teenchy @ 11:45 am

Oh look, it’s Milford’s version of the Chicago Cubs College of Coaches, crammed in a broom closet for a special meeting. A meeting to decide they’re going to another meeting. Why are they acting like they didn’t know about the “the district’s* new rules and guidelines” until just now? Isn’t there someone on the staff who would’ve known about these before the season started and told them about them? Or was that someone too busy playing golf and drinking on his back porch with his squeeze?

Not to beat a dead horse, but this whole plot element should have come up as soon as Tobe put on shoulder pads three seasons ago. Why now? Did the Milford School District get gerrymandered, with a newly elected school board going after transgender athletes and anything it deems “woke”? Are there now transgender females trying to play female sports in Milford? Seems like nobody gets their panties in a wad when a transgender male tries to play male sports. Except in the Thoirpiverse.

Why does Gil feel “partially responsible”? I’m not retracing my steps here, so if you’re new to TWIM I suggest you follow this link and maybe this link.

Now let’s sit back and see how many plot holes get backfilled as the week progesses. teenchy out.

*Which schools exactly are in “the district”? Doesn’t each group of K-12 schools have their own district? Is Madison not in its own district? For these rules and guidelines to apply to both Madison and Milford, should they not have come down at the conference or state level? Pedantic, I know.

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September 6, 2025

Milford’s Next Fundraiser: babusfeet.com

Filed under: anatomically implausible, Bad Jokes, Brown Hair, Cami Ochoa, Coach Babu, Coach Luke, Coach Ochoa, Gil Thorp, lame jokes, noises — teenchy @ 7:04 pm

As Milford High’s new Coach Babu (new category added) gets shown around, not everybody looks entirely happy to see her. Ochoa implies that Babu is supposed to be a straight-up Mimi replacement. Seems unlikely, unless Babu plans to publicly flaunt her relationship with another woman in front of her husband, whom she will subsequently divorce.

Babu shows Ochoa she can take a joke, then dishes one out at Luke’s expense. Between his suspension over the seance to conjure the spirit of Pops and his Papal visit, Gil’s former obsessive nemesis has turned into the butt-monkey (work safe link) of the Milford coaching staff.

With her little retort, Babu might’ve stumbled on a way to raise money for the school. Her size 11s might not be Peggy Hill’s size 16 1/2s but they’d still probably get some hits.

Why does Ochoa look so pissy? Wrong answers only. Talk amongst yourselves.

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August 20, 2025

The Power of Luke Compels You!

Filed under: Coach Luke, football, freak faces, freak hands, Milford Weirdos, Pissy faced Luke Martinez, What the hell is going on here? — teenchy @ 6:49 pm

Show of hands: how many of you gentle readers were as relieved as I was to see Merrill didn’t visually destroy Kaz upon his return? Another show of hands: how many of you thought Merrill would forget how to draw Luke since we saw him last? Looks like she’s taken inspiration from a Chris Rock special from years back.

Finally, what is up with Luke’s clerical collar? Were we expected to take this “he knew the Pope in college” nonsense seriously? Did he actually go to the Vatican to get exorcism training? Doesn’t ~~Henry~~ Luke know that only priests can perform exorcisms? Before we answer that question, it’s worth noting that there is a notion in Christianity known as a deliverance ministry, in which non-priests can don clerical collars, use all the liturgical accoutrements, and attempt to cleanse people of evil spirits.

Maybe Luke’s been trained to perform deliverances, then. If Dr. Pearl catches fire when Luke sprinkles holy water on her, we can get on board.

Pivot to football. The timing seems to be close to right for once but the scenario unfolding behind Luke and Gil feels a bit off. The crowd in the stands and an actual zebra give off game vibes but the color choices suggest a scrimmage. Is Milford still a place where townsfolk turn out for a preseason intrasquad game?

We are entering season four of the Barajas Era and it’s about time for the characters introduced in the autumn of 2022 to graduate. One of many challenges will be to create and develop new characters. The kids introduced this time last year would be as good a place to start as any. Doing so successfully may require more than a Hail Mary: couple of novenas to do, nine first Fridays, five first Saturdays, Stations of the Cross…

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May 26, 2025

Dont let me down

Filed under: Coach Luke, Gil Thorp, Pops, What the hell is going on here? — robmize2013 @ 8:17 pm

Back from camping in Door County and it looks like while I was gone el Luche Libre got suspended. We sure have the discipline problems lately, with Marty getting the axe from the radio and now Luke trying to exorcise Pops and winding up getting time off for bad behavior. Guess the gist of it was his grabbing the student impersonating Pops (today its back to Pop) by the neck and threatening to rip his head off. Or something to that nature.

Gil want him to reflect on his actions. I had a day of reflection myself at the PO for taking too many unapproved days off, but I was in the right. Im sure Luke thinks the same way.

Why is Luke getting in the right side of his car? Did they switch sides of the road in Milford while I was gone too??

Now that Luke just failed becoming an exorcist, of course he now says to tell Pop thats what he is going to be, so we have a case of fool me once, shame on you, fool me twice, shame on me. Ol Pops aint gonna get fooled again, right Pete Townsend?