This Week in Milford

March 30, 2026

Who’s the pro?

Filed under: Coach Tays, Gil Thorp, golf, Milford Idiots, sports Henry knows nothing about, What the hell is going on here? — robmize2013 @ 4:52 pm

Im jumping ahead to P3 with my post title – so Coach Tays is infering that the golf pro at the local country club is gonna have time with everything else he has to do at the club, to coach the golf team at Milford. Yep. And the moon is gonna fall out of the sky next week. (I dont mean THAT one.)

I just cant get over how little Barajas and the artist know about any sport they attempt to cover. Now we will have all the golfers in the universe guffawing over the myriad of errors made in a 3-panel comic strip about golf. And its not only the lack of basic knowledge about the game, its about the logistics of how a high school goes about the business of running their sports programs.

Long before a season begins, a school hires a coach for said sport, who is also a teacher at the school, so said coach can devote proper time and energy to all the elements of coaching the team, as well as prepare for the upcoming season. The time to decide all this is not while 2 coaches for another sport are out on the course, one swinging a club and the other just standing there with some green glove on, wondering if the club swinger is fit for the job, just because he is swinging a club right now. Nobody that plays golf does what these 2 are doing. If Gil were to take his backswing he’d clunk Tays right under the chin.

Doesnt Gil have a baseball team to coach these days? Yeah I know, Tays is saying dont quit your day job. But what kind of capable golf coach (OR ANY GOLFER FOR THAT MATTER) holds a club like Gil is holding it in P1 and 2? Where the hell are the rest of the clubs? The bags? Again we have Gil addressing a familiar person to him by their formal title. The KIDS call him Coach Tays. Not Gil! More basic shit Barajas is fumbling. Who cares about Mimi at this point? I know the setup is so Gil can try to beat Mimi at another sport since she just kicked his ass in hoops. But lets get the easy stuff right first, then worry about repeating a tired storyline. The freakin golf pro doesnt have time to coach a high school team. You hear me Barajas?

Im giving todays strip a snowman.

March 2, 2026

One more week of horse****.

Filed under: anatomically implausible, Horse Girl, Milford Idiots, Pissy Faced Keri — robmize2013 @ 8:59 pm

Only a matter of time before Horse Girl came back on the scene. And Again we have more stuff that makes no sense. Every panel chock full of crap. P1 – Gil is really a tyrant father who ‘let’ Peanut leave prison. He didnt let her do anything. The sheriff let her out. And she wasnt in prison for crissake! A tyrant https://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/tyrant is way meaner then Gil could ever be on his worst day. Even when he was TPing the other school 25 years ago, that was hardly oppressive or brutal. I know kids tend to overreact to things but still. If Brit knew the entire circumstances of why Peanut was disciplined, she would surely if she had any brains realize that Peanut deserved SOME punishment. All Gil did was allow the cops to come in and remove the kids during the game ( yes I figured out that earbud thing was premeditated). He’s more of a doofus then a tyrant.

P2 – all caps here. KEEPING YOUR MOUTH SHUT WASNT GONNA CHANGE YOUR PUNISHMENT! AND HOW CAN YOU MISS TEXTING SOMEONE WHEN YOURE ACTUALLY STANDING NEXT TO THEM???

P3 – Now how can Keri be on the horse and still be at the same height as Brit? Does anyone see a horse under Brit? I sure dont. Artist, you were doing ok then you stepped in some horse manure at the end. Looks like if Brit is really on a horse its body comes up to her armpit. Hey gang, Ive been on many horses; never had one that I had to use as deodorant. That smell is arid, and I dont mean ARID. Yeah thats great that Gil is lifting Keri’s suspension from her phone next week. But —–WHY THE FUCK IS SHE ALLOWED TO VISIT HER FRIEND FIRST??? Hey Gil – remember when I said Cami was as dumb as a rock? Join that club – and I aint letting you out next week either. That nag is smarter then you’ll ever be.

And hey Barajas – again we love when you show us how hip you are with those cool words like doomscrolling https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Doomscrolling– but it doesnt make up for the manure in the rest of the strip.

February 27, 2026

How Gil does what? Nothing?

Filed under: ?, Barney's Pub, Beth the bartender, Coach Ochoa, Gil Thorp, lazy artwork, Milford Idiots, Miserable characters, What the hell is going on here? — robmize2013 @ 12:17 pm

We dont even find out who won the game, instead its Cami having a postgame drink of ..something in a bottle that looks some brand of maybe root beer?? I see OAD in P2 and HO in P3. I need help with this. If thats an H in P3 it doesnt look like an H in P2 that her finger is covering. I even took a pic and blew it up. Maybe the A is an R. Please chime in because I dont know. It sure isnt DADS root beer.

Cami is absolutely dumb as a rock. When did she play for Gil? He coached the mens team. Mimi coached her. Right? We didnt start this current crap til she was on the staff. So when would she see him sweat while he was coaching, which indicates that he was actually working hard? Why would any coach sweat when theyre NOT PLAYING, which includes ALL COACHES?? So Cami was working up a sweat filling in for Gil …. where the hell is Gil? We havent been told. Hey Barajas.. I thought only the players were suspended. You have more missing pieces of info then the Nixon tapes. We dont even know why Gil is suddenly coaching the girls. Where the hell is he now? Cami is talking to his fiance. Can we at least have Beth say anything about why poor Cami has to sweat like a pig coaching when SHE WAS ALREADY AN ASSISTANT?? Thats coaching too! So Cami only sweats as the head coach not the assistant?? Its just killing her to actually stand in front of the team and talk instead of … stand off to the side and listen to Gil.

This strip is more of a mess every day. Whats this about having years in you? How long is Gil gonna be AWOL? Shes worried about dying on the job after 1 game? Girlfriend, you might as well jump in a lake tomorrow if this is too hard for you already. And take your drink with you.

February 23, 2026

Praying for an expulsion

Filed under: Dr. Pearl, freak hands, Gil Thorp, Gils kids, huge earrings, lessons learned, Milford Idiots, talking door — robmize2013 @ 11:28 am

So after all the weekend fun of getting arrested mid-game, going to jail, getting bailed out by Dad who let you have a Vette, and also a previous commiter of same crime, plus a few rolls of Angel Soft, Peanut finally faces the real music; Dr. Pearl.

The sign on the door is interesting. It looks too permanent. When Pearl retires, how do they change something that looks like its attached to the blinds on the door? If you open the blinds the words disappear, dont they?

What a smart aleck answer Keri comes up with. You want people to respect your damn pronouns, how about respecting their PROPERTY?? If Pearl was allowed to she’d like to knock those oversize earrings off with one swipe. How does Peanut get away with wearing those at school? I have to say, even for a public school that ostensibly has no dress code, its a stretch to allow those things. I went to a Catholic school and we had a dress code for sure. I think girls wore earrings but small ones.

That look on Gils face couldnt be more fake if he had a mask like the Scooby Doo villians. Dude, you did all this yourself, got away with it, (hey, and Pearl was a damn STUDENT at the time!!) and now what kind of leverage do you have here? What kind of a father figure are you, listening to this meating out of your own daughters punishment knowing fully well that you only graduated from said high school because your principal didnt have the balls Pearl does. How can you look at either one of these ladies with a straight face, ever again??

And now youre gonna have a private talk with Pearl after Peanut is excused to sit in “the” car. Which car? Yours or hers? Sir, I know you want to beg Pearl to reduce whatever punishment has been meted out not only to keep Peanut on the basketball team but to remind Pearl that, yes, you did stuff that wasnt punished at all, as far as we know. So if you got away with it completely, why be so hard on poor Peanut now? Your knees will be sore by the time you get off them.

If this is how she learns her lesson buddy, you shut the barn door loooong after the horse got away. But thats par for the course in your life.

February 18, 2026

How many social justice topics can you fit in one strip?

Filed under: dopes, Inma, Keri Thorp, lazy artwork, Milford Idiots, recycled panels — teenchy @ 2:47 pm

Awfully nice of Five-O to let these kids change out of their uniforms before grilling them. Must’ve been fun doing that while they were still cuffed. Besides the kids, the arm and beverage position of the bad cop, and the direction of the wind in the interrogation room, the artwork is the same in all three panels. Let’s break it down like game action, shall we?

P1: Keri is the lead dope in this parade of dopes. If you’re gonna do crimes, why buy a yellow Corvette and use it as your getaway car? At least they know better than to incriminate themselves verbally. Wonder who’s gonna represent Keri? Hadley V. Baxendale? Knox Foley? The poor schmuck who had to defend Del Bader?

P2: No need to go to PR to see Bad Bunny: just watch the Super Bowl halftime show on YouTube. Besides, he’s touring Brazil and Europe this year. This is just a throw-in on Henry’s part to try to stay on the bleeding edge of the headlines, while also painting Inma as the spoiled rich kid of the group. That wrestling scholly keeps getting further and further away.

P3: We kinda had an idea, but now we know for certain why the Pillar family “felt better” about bringing Isis to Milford: they saw how the Tobias Gordon Affair played out. And here you thought it was something in the Milford water that was creating these transgendered teens. There’s a fine line being drawn here, however. There’s trans, like when the female Tabatha transitioned to Tobias, and freaking trans, like the male Ivan transitioning to Isis. Isn’t it cute when Barajas and Merrill scribble through trans people’s deadnames? Isn’t it cuter when the trans kid picks a provocative name to transition into? It didn’t cross Ivan’s mind to just add an “a” to the end of their name? Too political?

Poor Isis. Doesn’t speak English as a first language, of questionable immigration status, and now freaking trans on top of it all. Three strikes, and Isis is out… but to where?

February 7, 2026

Wait, what? Corvettes got back seats now?

Filed under: besties, Brown Hair, huge earrings, Inma, Keri Thorp, Make and Model Mystery Mobile, metapost, Milford Idiots — teenchy @ 6:44 pm

Gentle readers, let me take you back to a land before time. A land where cars ran on leaded gasoline and seat belt use was not mandatory. A time when Family Circus strips had yet to be recycled. Yes, I’m talking about when teenchy got his first car.

teenchy learned to drive on two very basic Ford vehicles, a Falcon sedan and an F-100 pickup. Straight six-cylinder engines, three-on-the-tree manual transmissions, no a/c, no power anything. The Falcon was easier to parallel park, which you had to know how to do to earn your driver’s license but was really of limited utility out in the country. Long story short, teenchy’s first car ended up being a ’66 Mustang. It was no hot rod, mind you. Sixty-six Mustangs could be had with the Falcon’s straight six and three variations of a V-8, from mild to wild, and this one had the mildest of the eights. (In fact, Mustangs were virtually identical mechanically to Falcons, which made it easier for teenchy to work on it when the need arose.)

What my Mustang lacked in amenities it made up for in good looks. Still a very old used car and not yet the iconic collectible it would become, it was instantly recognizable on the street. Consequences were as one might expect, much as they might be if you egged, tagged and TP-ed a place while driving a yellow Corvette. Especially a yellow Corvette with a rear seat and a magically disappearing hardtop.

No masks or hoodies (yo, Inma, we can still see your hijab under that hoodie, as well as your entire face) will disguise that French’s Mustard bottle on wheels as the Milford crew vandalizes… where, exactly? Valley Tech, most likely, as they’ve already beaten Goshen. Anyhoo, prepare for these three to get caught and suspended for the rest of the season while VT rolls over the Muldarks in predictable fashion.

meta: Turns out this is not the first time I’ve written about my ’66 Mustang. I must be turning into a regular Doug Guthrie.

February 6, 2026

Why cant they just steal the mascot?

Filed under: Cami Ochoa, dopes, Dr. Pearl, Gil Thorp, Just plain sad, lessons learned, Milford Idiots, Milford Weirdos, Miserable characters, Pissy faced Gil, What the hell is going on here? — robmize2013 @ 5:23 pm

Im sure a lot of you remember the Brady Bunch episode where Greg steals the goat from his rival school Coolidge High and hides it in his upstairs room until it is eventually outed. . Read more about it here https://bradybunchreviewed.wordpress.com/2018/07/20/episode-6-getting-gregs-goat/

But we have another case of Gerads (Im sure) getting in the building and causing trouble. Or was it Mimi? Nah. Methinks ol Gonads got some of his minions in there overnight with some red paint. Nice job, Milford security. Ever hear of cameras they have everywhere 24/7? Nope. Wasnt in the budget.

Guess they need to call Russ. Russ who? Russ Armstrong of course. https://www.yelp.com/biz/chicago-window-guys-lake-forest He’s a window guy well known in the Chicago area. Im sure he can not only tackle this little project, but maybe install some much needed new windows at Milford High so everyone can see who’s coming to put graffitti on the walls next time.

In the meantime, we sure have some shrinkage. Everyone got shorter since Chin took over guest artist duties. How will the next encounter with Gonads and/or Mimi go after this little (repeat?) performance?

December 27, 2025

In Which Gil Visits the Big Rock Candy Mountain

Filed under: Beth the bartender, bizarre cameos, Brown Hair, freak hands, holiday strip, Lantern Jaws, Milford Idiots, oversize objects — teenchy @ 7:35 am

“Gil! Gil Thorp! Gilpa! The Gilmeister! The Thorpinator! Goin’ to the heart of Africa to bring back a boulder for Bethany! Gilghis Khan! Makin’ an honest woman of the barmaid! Kaiser Gilhelm! Buyin’ the cow when he’s gettin’ the milk for free!” – Richard “The Richmeister” Laymer, if he was in today’s strip

So that’s where the candy bar and vape money went. Holy crap is that a huge rock or what? That thing must be visible from the International Space Station. Thank goodness the last panel brings us down to earth; the second one must have been drawn from the perspective of one of Gil’s knuckles.

Beth looks more than thrilled at the prospect, so I’m guessing this isn’t much of a cliffhanger. Looks like we’ll be getting wedding plans and prep worked into the storylines, leaving even less room for sports. Here’s hoping we won’t get another Thorplet dropped into the cast in nine months. The last thing this strip needs is a Cousin Oliver.

Bizarre Cameos Dept.: The part of Gil is being played by New Hampshire’s Old Man of the Mountain, or at least it would be if it still existed. The part of Bethany is being played by the late Ace Frehley, at least in panel 2.

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