This Week in Milford

April 22, 2026

Same old same old, kemo sabe.

Three identical panels today, save for eyes, mouths, shirt wrinkles, and background randos. Oh, and those word balloons, which is what we probably should focus on.

Isn’t it funny how Gil never seems to get bothered when his older child pulls some stunt? Isn’t it funnier that Milford High hasn’t had a walkout before this? Not even during the ‘Nam or any of our other little excursions? (That’s my signal to the hive mind to hit the archives.)

Then we come to Ochoa. Is she pulling another retcon, like the time she forgot that she got into a fight with Gil as a student? In making the leap from supersoph hoopster to fully grown lesbian coach, she got a lot of informed backstory. She also got a lotta nerve. I reckon it’s okay to insult your co-worker in front of your boss as long as it’s in a language that’s different from your boss’s first language, n’est-ce pas, salope?

As for that co-worker, someone needs to check his motivation. Luke “No-Neck” Martinez echoes the law-and-order party line. Easy for him to do: he’s got a pity job from his boss and his wife’s a highly successful cardiac surgeon. This practically makes him the Establishment. Of course he’s big on pulling the ladder up behind him. Given that ICE goes after anyone darker than Gil and with the barest hint of a Latino name, both he and Ochoa need to keep their heads on a swivel.

February 28, 2026

We and They

We and they
And never let our pronouns get into the way
Them and y’all
God only knows somebody has to take the fall

“Grounded,” they cried from the car
And the season died
The starters sat and the team went to crap
Time to play for pride

Black and blue
New Thayer’s colors when their tees show through
Up and down
Once in a while the basketball is drawn as round

“Doesn’t he sweat? I ain’t seen him yet!”
Cami Ochoa cried
“Took him years,” said Gil Thorp’s latest beard
“I watched from the outside”

[I mean, Pearl’s not gonna kill ’em
So like, if I give ’em a quick short, sharp, shock
They won’t do it again
Dig it? I mean they got off lightly
‘Cause their dad’s the biggest man in Milford
I did the same thing too!
It was only a difference of caught and not, innit?
But really, who tries this stunt a bright yellow car at night, eh?]

They and we
It means much more than plot continuity
Her and she
Things won’t go back to the way things used to be

What can I say? it’s just Henry’s way
Bigger fish to fry
Just paying the bills ’til Pachuco sells
This strip will die

(apologies Waters and Wright)

December 10, 2025

Lying Comatose in a Hospital Doesn’t Count As a Sick Day?

How did Dr. Pearl count this, then?

Speaking of counting, does it count as sports if the coaches are wearing their matching team polos in an administrator’s office? ‘Cause that’s as close as we get today.

Naturally the Mudlark coaching staff are all chomping at the bit to run the show. Well, at least one of them is. Luke goes all Alexander Haig and tries to take charge but quickly gets shot down by Ochoa, who has no problems swearing in the office. (We’ve used pendejo a few times to describe the action but this is a first in the actual strip AFAIK.) There have been two ADs at VT since Luke held that position, so he’s pretty rusty anyway.

Coach Babu came to Milford because she “wanted to learn from the best” but since Gil is gonna be out for the rest of the week, she thought she might as well stay home too. She should be watching Tays, who has learned the most from Gil: sit back and let everyone else do the work.

meta: If all goes according to plan, our own tdrew should be rejoining the rotation tomorrow. Please give him a warm TWIM welcome when he does. teenchy out.

late edit: Pantheon of Mysterious Objects Dept.: What’s that yellow thing behind Tays’ head? The 2014 State Football Champions trophy? A statue of Lemongrab from Adventure Time?

October 1, 2025

Mean Tweets

So Gil #$!@ Thorp thinks he needs a Girl, pretending to be a Boy, to beat me!!! He couldn’t beat me with the Girl on his team last year!!! He couldn’t win with the Girl Tight End!!! He can’t beat me with all these Girl Coaches either!!! Thorp HATES that I am the Valley’s #1 Coach (and I have the Hat to prove it!!!) and will do ANYTHING to take attention away from me!!! After I beat Thorp AGAIN tonight, come on down to The Barney’s Pub where the Drinks will be on me!!1! Marty Moon is even invited again, but don’t blame Me if he can’t hold his Liquor!!@! Thorp’s Girl can always cut him off, just like Thorp’s Ex-Wife cut him off for another Woman!!! THANK YOU FOR YOUR ATTENTION TO THIS MATTER.

-Mitch Gerads

@TheRealCoachGerads

September 17, 2025

“…at least, not until the next round of budget cuts.”

Oh look, it’s Milford’s version of the Chicago Cubs College of Coaches, crammed in a broom closet for a special meeting. A meeting to decide they’re going to another meeting. Why are they acting like they didn’t know about the “the district’s* new rules and guidelines” until just now? Isn’t there someone on the staff who would’ve known about these before the season started and told them about them? Or was that someone too busy playing golf and drinking on his back porch with his squeeze?

Not to beat a dead horse, but this whole plot element should have come up as soon as Tobe put on shoulder pads three seasons ago. Why now? Did the Milford School District get gerrymandered, with a newly elected school board going after transgender athletes and anything it deems “woke”? Are there now transgender females trying to play female sports in Milford? Seems like nobody gets their panties in a wad when a transgender male tries to play male sports. Except in the Thoirpiverse.

Why does Gil feel “partially responsible”? I’m not retracing my steps here, so if you’re new to TWIM I suggest you follow this link and maybe this link.

Now let’s sit back and see how many plot holes get backfilled as the week progesses. teenchy out.

*Which schools exactly are in “the district”? Doesn’t each group of K-12 schools have their own district? Is Madison not in its own district? For these rules and guidelines to apply to both Madison and Milford, should they not have come down at the conference or state level? Pedantic, I know.

May 21, 2025

Boo this strip! Boo it!

Oh look, another “Spot the Six Differences” strip. Shall we?

P2: Ochoa’s mouth. Mimi’s mouth. Luke’s mouth. Luke’s hand. Whoever the hell that is in white moves closer.

P3: Ochoa’s mouth. Ochoa’s hand. Ochoa’s eyes. Luke’s eyes. Mimi’s eyes. Mimi’s mouth. Gil’s mouth. Whoever the hell that is in white’s arms. Whoever the hell that is in white’s mouth.

This strip has absolutely nothing to do with sports anymore, except as a poorly executed backdrop to events and activities that could happen anywhere else: the teachers’ lounge, The Bucket, Barney’s Pub, literally anywhere else.

Boo this dialogue! Boo it!

Boo this crappy, lazy artwork! Boo it!

Boo this stupid arc! Boo it!

Boo this strip! Boo it!

Hell, boo this post! Boo it!

I’m outta here for the rest of the month. I leave you in the capable hands of tdrew and Rob. See y’all in June. I hope. teenchy out.

May 12, 2025

Lip service is all you’ll ever get from me

One thing you can say about Gerads and that he’s not humble, even after defeat. He used to be, though. Remember what a wuss he was at the outdoor hockey rink? Where did he get his backbone back, with a plate of rice and collards?

Could be. Having sucked all the assertiveness out of Luke, he only gets it up for someone Thorp or Thorp adjacent. Hence the sarcasm directed at Mimi, who can’t be bothered to make eye contact at first. Once she does it’s claws out, baby. Ochoa dished the dirt on Mitch; Emily just took it and flung it at him.

Now will Mitch respond in kind? If he doesn’t clap back with something about changing teams and crawling back for her old job*, he’s missed an opportunity as golden as Emily’s and his hair.

Musical inspiration for today’s post title, itself inspired by Merrill’s obsession with big pouty lower lips.**

*We still don’t know why Gil hired Mimi back, or why Mimi accepted the job. ‘Splain, Henry.

**Not to mention her obsession with left-handed handshakes. What’s up with that?

December 14, 2024

Drinking with the Enemy?

I’m running into some technical difficulties getting today’s strip image uploaded, so I’m gonna try some backdoor ways of getting it up here. Here goes nothing…

Goshen has shut out Milford and Marty has left his crate to go down to the field and interview the coach of the winning team, Gerads. Today, the role of Gerads is being played by Erick Stolz as Rocky Dennis.

Rocky, er, Gerads, starts off the interview with the usual sportsball platitudes but quickly takes a dark turn. He’s not going back to Goshen with his team but… is staying in Milford to go to Barney’s Pub, where Marty once went down in flames? Is he taking a team of underage kids to a bar or did he send the bus back without him? More importantly, does he know that Marty is a recovering alcoholic?

Clearly there’s an opportunity to run with this ball. Marty can go to Barney’s with Gerads and not drink while Gerads gets hammered and does something stupid, which would not be unprecedented. Marty gets Gerads to join AA and comes out looking like the good guy.

But enough about this cardboard cutout of a coach. Lets talk about those two mopey bastards in the red jackets. What happened to the Gil Thorp who threatened to kick his players off the team to play Candy Land at home? He died when he got hit on the sidelines, and his soul departed with Rod Whigham. His replacement is a couch potato who grew facial hair (which used to be a hallmark of a bad guy in this strip) and let his actions be dictated by the women in his life: first the bartender, who moved in under his roof and coddled him during his recovery, and second his mother, who needled him to get back on the sidelines when he clearly wasn’t ready for it.

The man who once said he “welcomed failure” now looks like he wears it. But does this loss lie on Gil’s shoulders? Someone should’ve been tearing the guy who pulled a Leon Lett a new orifice and, tbh, Gil should be tearing Ochoa and the rest of the coaching staff new orifices when he gets them back in the office. The Monday morning quarterbacking on this one could be interesting. If only we knew we’d be getting it. See you then. teenchy out.

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