Tag Archives: Cosmopolitan

Cosmo Covers for Queer Girls

article-cyrus-0128I don’t remember ever looking at Miley Cyrus and thinking, “Good God—who is that?” Remember Miley? She’s this girl and this guy’s daughter. She starred in Disney’s Hannah Montana. But it happened this afternoon, in a grocery store, of all places, when I saw the cover of this month’s Cosmopolitan. Not in a million years would I guess it was her, and never in a million more would I guess I’d buy it.

So, yes! I now own my first issue of Cosmopolitan, every young woman’s favorite magazine about sex. And, no, the features on “Best Sex Ever” and “The Three Words You Must Never Say to a Guy” don’t really apply to me, since I’m not one known for snuggling up to men. And this magazine, typically, speaks only to the women who do.

But then they go and put Miley looking all Hot, Femme Tank Girl on the cover, and—wow—does that change things a bit.

Now, I might be the only gay woman who falls for this type of thing (dubious…that’s the most dubious thing I’ve thought all day), but Miley, with her new short, blonde hair, and her perfect, pink lips, and her shapely, young breasts, and with Cosmo’s help, seems to be reaching out to a much broader audience of women. Yes, this issue will still be bought by the countless college-aged women who typically drop $3.99 for articles on how to please their men. And sure, she’s married now, and to a male movie star to boot. But women who appreciate other women, regardless of their sexual identities, for introducing (or, really, re-introducing) a different way of looking feminine, take note: There’s something sorta queer going on with Miley now, and it’s worth your observation.

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Let me know your thoughts, okay? Leave a comment!

P.S. I had no idea, until I had this magazine in my hands, just how badly Chanel perfume stinks, even if it’s only a peel-back paper sample. Christ.

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Sex with Candy

Halloween is approaching and, as a Brit, I am still getting used to American candy.  Thanks to Angela, I have now sampled an Almond Joy and a U.S. Milky Way (which, it seems, is almost identical to a British Mars Bar.  Who knew?).  So Angela has invested in a huge bag of Halloween candy for the local kids, while I’ve been browsing the internet for sex and candy.  You know.  As one does.  Occasionally.

Anyhoo.

Here’s what I found:  Cosmopolitan have an online feature suggesting imaginative ways of using candy during sex.  Given their readership, their language is rather heterocentric, but their great tips can easily be adapted no matter who you’re with or how you identify.  (Candy necklaces, yes!).  What’s more, if you’ve never read Steve Almond’s Candyfreak, please go and do so now.  You can find an interview with Steve about the book at 3am Magazine.  Here’s a snippet:

3AM: Your descriptions of eating candy and witnessing it being made border on sexual. Do you see a correlation between candy and sex?

Steve Almond: I certainly try to. After all, both are very primal sensual pleasures. They’re also frequently treated as forbidden pleasures. Part of this is basic: your folks don’t want you getting cavities, or, a little later on, getting pregnant. But a lot of this is really about how frightened we are, as a culture, of pleasure. We always have to make it something dirty and hidden. So one agenda of the book, in that sense, is to allow other freaks out of the closet.

Well said, Steve!

Do any of you have intriguing stories about sex and candy?  Or enticing ways of using candy in the bedroom?  For my part, I’m rather a fan of boxes of chocolates.  Praline kisses and warm, chocolatey fingers?  Dear goddess, please.

-L

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