There is an epidemic going around, folks, and I’m pretty sure no one realizes the severity of the problem. I’m not sure anyone even knows that it is a problem. Believe you me, though–it’s a disaster waiting to happen. Protect your children, stow your valuables. But above all else…HIDE YOUR SHOES.
“Grimm has lured me to the dark side.”
Why the panic, you ask? Do you live in a household with two footwear frenzied canines running amok? No? Well, if you did, you would understand. No sneaker, slipper, pump or loafer is immune to the attention of a dog affected with the footwear fetish. You can try to run and hide, but you should just leave your shoes behind. If you don’t, the dogs will find them anyways. They ALWAYS find them.
“You see this shoe? It thought it was safe, tucked away in it’s basket hidden on a shelf. Look who has it now. There is nowhere to hide. None of your shoe friends can save you.”
Grimm has always been fascinated by footwear. Flip flops, of course, are the ultimate delicacy for this shoe gourmand. The more expensive a shoe, the better they taste. I have tried to keep my footwear safe, but I am only human. Occasionally a closet door gets left open or a running shoe is carelessly tossed in a dark corner. Now that Rufus seems to be following in Grimm’s footsteps, my diligence has to improve. The fate of my soles depends on me.
“I think I will start at the top. That little tab sticking off the back of you, shoe, looks delicious. Let the destruction begin!”
Now that Rufus has joined the family, my serial shoe killer finally has an accomplice. Nikes can’t run fast enough to escape them, stilettos aren’t sharp enough to injure them, and even Dr. Scholl’s inserts are not immune to the footwear fiends destruction. If they can’t respect a doctor, you can bet your Doc Martens will have no chance whatsoever. With shoelaces hanging from their fangs, they race to catch the next pair of unsuspecting victims.
“Another shoe lost to Rufus the Ripper. MuWaHaHaHaHa!!”
You have been warned, my friends. A destroyed shoe is a gruesome sight to behold. It can take less than ten seconds for your flip to flop or your pump to deflate in the mouth of a skilled destroyer. Keep your shoes hidden and be very wary of curious canines. The fate of your soles depends upon it.
Grimm's Furry Tail 