My friend and fellow blogger, Jane Fritz recently has written two blog posts with a focus on aging; the changes we face both physically and emotionally as we drift into our twilight years. Since Jane and I are only a heartbeat apart in the census records of that year when we were born, I have been very interested in reading Jane’s blogs to see how she is dealing with a subject we never expected to face, yet here we are. What a surprise it is getting here as fast as we have.
I pretty much have been able to ignore the advancing years as long as I’ve felt good and could ace the annual cognitive tests at my doctor’s office brought to us lovingly by Medicare. Banana, Bench, Sunset! And I can still draw that clock and manage to get the numbers between 12 and 3, 3 and 6, 6 and 9, and 9 and 12 in the proper sequence. To quote a current, annoyingly blustering politician, “If I could do that cognitively perfect memory test, I’m a stable genius. (Everybody says so).”
My last several birthdays have been significant and have given me pause for reflection. It occurred to me that after a certain age, ALL birthdays become significant simply by virtue of still being here to celebrate them.
Becoming elderly is like walking around in a closet with no windows and searching for the light switch by feeling along the wall. You run into sweaters and garments you should have gotten rid of years before, get tangled up in the bottom half of old coats and stumble over a pile of moldy shoes. There is NO primer to tell us what to expect or where to find the answers. In pre-school and first grade we had the wisdom of Dick and Jane, Sally, Spot and Puff to guide us into becoming kids. Apparently, Dick and Jane … and little Sally … have grown so old by now that they were just too tired to write another “HOW TO” book to guide us into elderhood. They were most likely plodding that mysterious path just ahead us. And Spot and Puff are long since on the other side of the Rainbow Bridge.
You can’t depend on Hallmark. They crank out those lovely greeting cards showing an elderly couple from the back, walking down a beach on a beautiful summer day. Both are wearing wrinkled, comfortable shorts and shirts, canvas hats with floppy brims and they are holding hands as they stroll down that lovely beach into oblivion. What’s REALLY happening is they are holding hands to feel secure and they’re leaning on each other for support ‘cause they’re walking on no less than 3, probably 4 joint replacements with titanium and plastic parts. Their clothes are baggy because they’re more comfortable and accommodating for their DEPENDS and the floppy hat keeps the sun from blinding them in cataract-laden eyes. And they have no idea where they’re going or why they are where they are. There was no “HOW TO” primer for them either. Maybe being ‘oblivious’ is the best way to stroll down that never-ending, twilight-approaching beach.
I paid a lot of serious attention to what Jane wrote because now I think it’s important that we, of that certain age, share our experiences with each other as well as leaving them for posterity. In effect, while we’re out here floundering and blog-documenting, we are writing an unseen primer of our own, hoping someone will read these specific blogs and that we can help each other as well as the generations hobbling along behind us.
Where I am now is this: I’ve had 2 major illnesses and one life threatening one and I’ve dealt with them but they were when I was younger. What I seem to be dealing with while balancing on the precipice of what’s next? is just one annoying thing after the other and I wake up many mornings thinking, “What awful thing is going to happen today?” Unfortunately, I’m seldom disappointed.
I HAVE found, though, that I’ve become a little more daring now that I’m older and marching forward at a slower pace. Someone asked recently on a science fiction Facebook page, “Would you use a Star Trek transporter knowing it would scatter your atoms and reassemble them on your arrival at your destination? 10 years ago, I might have hesitated. Now I don’t even have to THINK about taking that uncertain trip. I’D DO IT for the experience! What would I have to lose???? A lot less now than 10 years ago.
We try to eat healthy meals, mostly, and get some exercise and Jane and I seem to keep our brain cells clicking along with all thrusters firing by writing stuff and thinking through what we want to write about … and we both have grandchildren. What we also both know is that it’s not healthy, as well as being just plain futile to spend a lot of time worrying about the things we have no control over like aging and politics. Frustrating as we’ve discovered it is, we probably have more control over aging.
So, as I’ve said before, if I wake up in the morning and manage to make it to the bathroom without peeing on my feet, I figure it’s going to be an OK day.
As a parallel for observation (are you listening, Dick and Jane?) we’re caring for and loving our 19.5-year-old cat as she deals with her feline version of facing elderhood. She has pretty severe osteoarthritis and goes to the vet once a month for an injection specifically prescribed for her joint pain. Because of her condition and the fact that there IS no joint replacement surgery for cats, she has difficulty walking and sometimes has problems climbing in and out of the litter box. Sometimes she almost makes it but misses and hits, instead, the absorbent Kitty Pads I have surrounding the box. Even with that consideration, she is still cat cognitively unimpaired and still has some worthwhile quality of life. I just can’t justify “putting her to sleep” for our convenience.
Comparatively, I hope no one considers putting ME to sleep for the same bladder dysfunction that is plaguing the cat, even though she isn’t peeing on her feet. That would be a very ugly ending for Dick and Jane’s new “HOW TO” book, Facing Elderhood with Dick and Jane (Sally, Spot and Puff ): A Preparation Primer …









