It’s true, my friend the hairdresser came over last night and did this fabulous thing to my hair…it’s sort of a blend of blonde, honey, copper and my natural dark brown. It’s terrific because it has this 1970’s California girl look, and she styled it similar to Farrah Fawcett’s Charlie’s Angels days.
Okay so it’s not blonde like blonde. I think that we’d all agree that most olive complected Mexicans should not be blonde, there’s an air to that look that is just terribly reminiscent of the chola look, which in my less than humble opinion is not a great look for my sisters of la raza.
The roommate loves it. He went on and on about how good it looks, and I drilled him to make sure that he wasn’t just being flattering so that I would make him strawberry shortcake for dessert. He wasn’t. Of course this does not negate my nervousness at anyone seeing me…not because I don’t love what she did to my hair, I do…but because the last thing I want is someone thinking that I’m trying to look less ethnic.
Then I start to think that I’m being a dope, after all, everyone who knows me knows that I love changing my look from day to day but remain proudly Latina…they couldn’t possibly think that I have an aversion to being recognizably Latina.
Why do we have such stringent ideas about appearance? Even within ethnic groups, there is a prejudice that is based entirely on physical appearance…if someone is mixed Afro-Hispanic, then they’re considered too dark, if someone is a blonde, blue-eyed Hispanic, then they’re considered less Latina…is our physical appearance that important that even our own identity is questioned?
Honestly it doesn’t make sense to me, that I would be filled with trepidation, not that people won’t find the new hair color attractive, but that I won’t be seen as Mexican. But then again, I already get the comments of “You don’t look Mexican!” and other comments which I can’t imagine saying to anyone else. Why? Well primarily because for many of us, that’s not a compliment. Our pride in our heritage, our familiarity with our culture is part of who we are as an identity and when that is questioned, it sort of pisses us off.
Even my own daughter doesn’t identify as being Latina…simply because she has red hair and green eyes (actually she’s platinum blonde right now). Her identity is so strongly rooted in what she sees in the mirror rather than anything else and for her mother, it’s fascinating. It isn’t as if she’s ashamed of her heritage, she isn’t. It’s not as if she isn’t comfortable with her culture, she is. It’s simply that even though her surname is still the same as mine, which is still the same as my father’s, a very obviously Hispanic name, she knows that when people look at her, they don’t see a Latina.
This used to piss me off…but now, I am just curious, why is it that we are so determined to base so much of our individual identity on something which, in this day and age, and because of the widespread blending of ethnic and racial bloodlines, really shouldn’t even play a part.
So I guess I will stop worrying about any negative responses to my summertime pseudo blonde and just put my big girl panties on and face the music. After I have a few more cups of coffee.