Gone Blonde

It’s true, my friend the hairdresser came over last night and did this fabulous thing to my hair…it’s sort of a blend of blonde, honey, copper and my natural dark brown. It’s terrific because it has this 1970’s California girl look, and she styled it similar to Farrah Fawcett’s Charlie’s Angels days.

Okay so it’s not blonde like blonde. I think that we’d all agree that most olive complected Mexicans should not be blonde, there’s an air to that look that is just terribly reminiscent of the chola look, which in my less than humble opinion is not a great look for my sisters of la raza.

The roommate loves it. He went on and on about how good it looks, and I drilled him to make sure that he wasn’t just being flattering so that I would make him strawberry shortcake for dessert. He wasn’t. Of course this does not negate my nervousness at anyone seeing me…not because I don’t love what she did to my hair, I do…but because the last thing I want is someone thinking that I’m trying to look less ethnic.

Then I start to think that I’m being a dope, after all, everyone who knows me knows that I love changing my look from day to day but remain proudly Latina…they couldn’t possibly think that I have an aversion to being recognizably Latina.

Why do we have such stringent ideas about appearance? Even within ethnic groups, there is a prejudice that is based entirely on physical appearance…if someone is mixed Afro-Hispanic, then they’re considered too dark, if someone is a blonde, blue-eyed Hispanic, then they’re considered less Latina…is our physical appearance that important that even our own identity is questioned?

Honestly it doesn’t make sense to me, that I would be filled with trepidation, not that people won’t find the new hair color attractive, but that I won’t be seen as Mexican. But then again, I already get the comments of “You don’t look Mexican!” and other comments which I can’t imagine saying to anyone else. Why? Well primarily because for many of us, that’s not a compliment. Our pride in our heritage, our familiarity with our culture is part of who we are as an identity and when that is questioned, it sort of pisses us off.

Even my own daughter doesn’t identify as being Latina…simply because she has red hair and green eyes (actually she’s platinum blonde right now). Her identity is so strongly rooted in what she sees in the mirror rather than anything else and for her mother, it’s fascinating. It isn’t as if she’s ashamed of her heritage, she isn’t. It’s not as if she isn’t comfortable with her culture, she is. It’s simply that even though her surname is still the same as mine, which is still the same as my father’s, a very obviously Hispanic name, she knows that when people look at her, they don’t see a Latina.

This used to piss me off…but now, I am just curious, why is it that we are so determined to base so much of our individual identity on something which, in this day and age, and because of the widespread blending of ethnic and racial bloodlines, really shouldn’t even play a part.

So I guess I will stop worrying about any negative responses to my summertime pseudo blonde and just put my big girl panties on and face the music. After I have a few more cups of coffee.

Our Lady of Guadalupe Says “YOU go home!”

Today is the feast day of O.L. of Guadalupe. This lovely Marian entity is of course representative of so many things, including the Catholic traditions within the Hispanic community, cultural pride and yes of course she also represents the Spanish bringing Catholicism over in the first place. Let’s face it, she is a much prettier image than many of the ancient deities which she replaced, or simply mutated from. “The one who crushes the serpent” is what her Nahuatl name means. I wonder who the serpent is? Hmmm. I suppose that in the eyes of the Church, the serpent would be Quetzalcoatl, the ancient Aztec deity. Or perhaps the serpent is the native people. After all, St. Patrick didn’t really rid Ireland of snakes, but he did a damn fine job ridding the country of pagans. So perhaps the beautiful brown-skinned Mary was representing the squishing of the native people of our lovely land? Or…is O.L. of Guadalupe a gorgeous, sensual representation of everything powerful within the native population, which had to hide in order to reinforce itself. Does the snake beneath Mary’s feet, the same snake beneath St. Patrick’s feet…represent the cancerous cult which grew to such numbers, less due to love and more out of the imposing of fear and physical strength. Don’t get me wrong, I love Catholicism. It’s a grand religious establishment, a beautiful religion, and more corrupt and outdated than modern government.
Most of us, if we have to, mold ourselves into what we need to be in order to survive. The survival of our heritage, our bloodlines, our history, our culture, even our names are important to us, even if we don’t realize it.
So what’s to say that our beautiful lady, is not the mask that an ancestral deity might wear? What’s to say that the beautiful lady in whatever her form, isn’t simply the face of ancestral deities from all over the world? It does make sense, our nature being tribal, our ancestry no matter where we originate, is in fact tribal, so why wouldn’t our ancestral gods see this image, take it on as their own, so as to not be stamped out, to not disappear?
Then again, perhaps she is her own entity, her own self. Perhaps she is full of love of her people, regardless of whether we believe that she is a version of the mother of Jesus, or whether we believe that she is something else. It doesn’t matter really, she is representative of something magnificent either way. She is a beautiful statement that the Hispanic culture, the Latino people are watched over…the tribe cared for from above. She is a message to those who would have us in roles as servants and slaves that we are descended from royalty, from priests of the ancient gods, from women who were powerful and from men who were strong. She is a reminder to us that we do not have to be absorbed and assimilated, that we are as we have always been…survivors.
In a time when there are laws which say that we cannot freely move from one place to another, in a time when we are told that we have to have papers to prove that we are legal, she is a reminder that our tribe was here long before the Church arrived. She is a standing symbol with her mouth curled into a smirk, whispering before her scream, that we are home. We are where we choose to be. She is a representation of our feet, blackened by the earth, standing on the hatred that makes no sense, on the prejudice that holds no truth, and crushing its neck like the evil that it is. She is a magnificent face of pride and elegance, culture and heritage, and of the beauty of the color brown.

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