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Browsing All posts tagged under »Marriage«
Forty-Three (I Wanna Pole You)
It’s not a compliment. If you’re at a southern, South Korean bar and a guy comes up to you, saying that, to your face. It’s Busan. It’s a tight-knit ex-pat community down there, but still. It’s definitely not nice. It’s embarrassing if you’re there in a group of teachers from work. If that Irish colleague […]
Shirley
January 28, 2014
RUSS Mary’s boyfriend and not Tim’s father MARY my hospital roommate SHIRLEY Mary’s sister TIM Mary’s son THE LAST ACT Same jokers from yesterday. Originally from Halifax, only going down home for Christmas if Mary’s discharged in time. Looks like she’s gonna make it! Russ: Shirley says she’s gonna call. Mary: Well, there’s […]
Couples, Please Don’t Fight on the Streetcar
February 17, 2012
First of all, we can hear you. We can hear everything you say, even when you think you’ve lowered your voice. Can we have a Skype wedding instead? Me, in my insane asylum because you drive me nuts, and you, ANYWHERE else? Do you think I WANT to chop your face in half, or push you in front of […]
Once Upon A Time: An Exercise in Cautionary Tales
November 2, 2011
“Do you, Scott Andrew Dunlop take Catherine Francis Elliot to be your lawfully wedded wife?” To the judge, Scott said, “I do” because if he looked at the pathetic montage of his married life playing on Catherine’s stoned face he’d surely kill himself, right there in front of the other knocked up couples patiently waiting […]
Are We Talking Open Marriage If Marrying Your Best Gay Friend is a Serious Option?
September 1, 2011
I’ve been asked. Not by a best gay friend but by random observers of our special platonic relationship. And it’s always the same anecdote. “Why don’t you two get married? I have a gay guy friend who married his best straight girl friend…for the companionship. It happens! Don’t you watch Will & Grace?” I do. […]
“You’ve been married for 35 years! Happily?”
August 25, 2011
An excerpt from an interesting conversation I had with tourists today. “I do all her shopping.” “Sorry?” “Ha! Yes, I give her my credit card and insist on paying for everything.” “Wow. Is that normal?” “Hahaaha, well…” [Woman enters] “Stick with him, I think he’s a keeper…what’s this about him buying all your things?” “Oh, […]
Whenever I Leave the House Without any Make-up I’ll Run into Someone from High School, Won’t I?
August 15, 2011
And I’m in between pedicures. I deserve it when the other days’ post was nostalgic on purpose. Damn you, sentimentality with your memory lanes and stupid yearbooks! Oh I make it sound bad but, readers, it could have been so much worse. This girl woman (!) grandiosed me to rock star status every time she laughed at my jokes within the general vicinity of my locker and […]
Feathers make the blog, Mark Twain!
Hyperactive Inefficiency 
June 4, 2014
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