working.

ok.
it's starting people.
d workloads.

i planned to stop everything.
by d 1st semester of my final year which is last july.
but i end up getting more n more works.
outside d academic business.

24th nov- 7th dec: Asian Inter-Varsity Cricket Tournament
8th dec-13th dec: Festival Kebudayaan Universiti Malaysia
18thdec-20th dec: Kursus Calon MPP
21st dec: 6th semester
24th dec-27th dec: Program Anak Angkat,Johor

then d whole january will be all about d campus election.
urghh~

when will i start my thesis?
i havent even read a single book!
*tipu sgt*
there were few books.
*few kah?byk kot..*
but not enuff.
d demands were so high.
sigh~

pwomised to my fwens.
i'll stop doing this.
stop everything.
even i have already let down one of my fwen for d college's dinner.
sowie babe!
just cant take it anymore.

results.
god.
i dun want to see it.
but i have too.
so i can have my french cert.
aaaa!!

before i go.
for a long tyme.
i need a person to remind me.
constantly.
about eating n sleeping.
who would be such a dear to do dat for me?? ;)

ok people.
toodles!
see u later.
virtually i mean.

to my babes.
miss u darlings a lot.
mr time plz walk faster.
so i can hear em laughing out loud at 2am. :(

mode:: burning d fats out.

p/s: i hate promises.they r just lies.to make us feel better so the other party can get out of a situation easily.

p/ss: sum1 asked me to be her gf.arent u aware i hve my own bf?ngoks~

too much alone tyme.i hate it.

i hate hols.

d holiday is starting to get more n more boring.
being alone at home.
after completing d house chores.
fattening myself.
hibernating.
wut else should i do?

mybe i should go to house next door n start cleaning their house too.
hahaha

few more days left.
no sign of me going out with him.
*sigh*

i guess it will be next year then.
in february.
wut?
FEBRUARY??
damn!!~

stupid timing.
stupid programs.
stupid busy belle.
stupid.
stupid.
i'm just plain stupid.
urghh~

wuteva.
i wouldnt care less.
*yeah ryte*

mybe i should just ignore.
like wut i'm experiencing now.
been ignored.
ignorance is bliss.
they said.

LIVE IT UP BELLE!

one good thing bout holidays.
i can sleep.
whoa!
i'm improving aite?
good gurl~

other than dat.
i'm bored.
super bored.
hell bored.

diz is wut happens when i went to boarding school.
for 5 years,outside kL.
most of my fwens will be at other part of d country.
totally forgot.
i also went to primary school outside my housing area.
*sigh*

yadda2..
enuff bout stupid holidays.
enuff bout all d lovey dovey mode.
enuff questioning me,
"where's ur bf?"
"why aren't u out dating?"

mongoks2 sekalian.
stop it ok?
i choose it 2 be diz way.
i choose him to be my bf.
so why d hell u guys wanna care?
since when people start caring bout me?

there.
i'm gonna be who i am b4.
wandering alone at malls.
stared by stupid peoples.
who thinks they have so much better life than mine.
woi,look at me.
DO I LOOKED LIKE I CARE ABOUT U???!
i have my life.
u have yours.
so stop buzzing around.

stop being stupid people.
i mean it.
stop being a laughing stock for me.
i hate it when i have to spare my precious brain cells to even think bout u guys.
like i dun have any better things to do.
duhh~

ignoring.walking away.silence

pangkor.

a fattening pangkor trip.
yet,it felt so great!
y does it hve to be only 2days?

i ate a lot!
seriously.
ainie cakap,
"belle hny mamam byk kalo pegi program."
hahaha

arrived at Lumut at 5am,Saturday.
nothing much to do.
except fighting with street bullies.
who were so pissed off.
when i walk in d middle of d road.
n i didnt smile back at him.
jerk!!~

went to d chalet.
only have 15minutes b4 starting d prog.
my eyes were so sleepy.
we do cute things such as..
make a line from d eldest to youngest according to seniority n birth dates.
so i wont sleep during d activities.
hahah

kayak was fun.
even though i drowned in d middle of d sea.
been hit with a paddle on my head.
d dizzyness lasted til midnyte.. :(
and fortunately d rain started pouring down just after we finished kayaking.
great timing huh? :)

d peeps were so sporting.
it clearly shown during d explorace.
so much fun i had!
u guys rawxz!!;p

another program will start diz 24th nov til 6th dec.
Asian Inter-Varsity Cricket Tournament.
i wont be celebrating raya haji diz year.
as if they knew i didnt evn bought a new kurung for dat.
hohoho

so guys,tell me.
when can i have tyme for myself n my love?
diz is hurting me so much~

mode: recharging

p/s: half of d pics were already uploaded in my fb acc..take a look! :)

fully scheduled holiday.

yeay!!
feels like jumping around gladly.
gladly?
dun think so.
erase that happy word.

finally finished my most horror semester in ukm.
5 major papers!
wut more could be worst than dat?
damn~

my last paper.
international law.
was totally a killer paper.
i feel like dying writing 50marks essay.
my head were so cramped.
it makes me holding my head while writing.
so afraid it'll explode!
plus d aircond is so damn cold.
shivering+cramp+nearly blank.

gosh.
after d exam.
talking with my babes.
"aku rasa tak jadi la nak keja PTD.carik keja lain la.."
ouh2!
bubye France.
bubye NY.
bubye London.
sob3~

holiday mode turned on.
for u guys.
not for me.
sad~

so many things to be done.
too many program need to join.
sumone said,
"busy gler ko neyh.nak berchenta pon xsempat kot."
hahahaha.
oit,motiff??? :)

meeting at KPT,Putrajaya 0830,13th Nov.
off to Pangkor on 2200,13th Nov.
talk on ASEAN University Cricket Game 16th Nov.
Fraser Hill 18th Nov.
d list goes on and on and on..
blablabla~

more programs.
more meetings.
less time for myself.

yeay!
what a way to save money during holiday.
plus avoiding boredom of hibernating for a month.
another plus.
avoiding all d fats.
good lord!~

seriously.
dun have tyme for lovey-dovey mode.
ryte baby?? :(

mode:: seriously working.

p/s: miss those moments..a lot! :(

losing faith.

i'm holding myself together tightly.
bcoz i'm falling apart each second.
i'm collecting every shattered pieces of my heart.
and in d same tyme i'm wiping away these tears.
every minutes n every seconds.

diz stupid eyes just wont stop crying.
i do need to get rid of em real fast.
they wont sleep.
n now they make me cry.
where would i find a new pair of lovely eyes???

losing faith.
yes.
i'm losing my faith ryte now.

i've stopped believing.
i've stopped being strong.
i even stopped wearing my happy face mask.

no more.
no more dat cute expression.
no more me smiling.
no more crazy belle laughing out so loud anywhere she wants.
no more me comforting other hearts.

searching for answers.
finding myself again.

what d hell happen to belle?
she's not her anymore.
she's not what she always are.

a sweet text msg.
"plz keep on smiling belle.i've faith in u."

i'll be crazy fighting myself n 2 killer papers.
then i have works to settle.
campus election,thesis,college program diz Xmas.

pray for me.
pray so i can be strong as usual.

not 2 forget.
thanx to all who tried so hard to make me smile again.
i appreciate it.
but i'm sorry i have no courage to force d smile for u guys.

people.
sorry.
i may not be having anything to say here anymore.
til then.
bubye~

mode:: searching for a lost soul.

p/s:: cute boys popping up in front of me like magic n even dare 2 say hello this few days..but they dont make my days any better..duhh~

let 'em speak.

a part of my kesayangans~

love u loads babes~

thanx for d yummylicious choc cake..

ohoho.dat guy is totally not my baby..

sisterhood <3

we live wif blessings from our beloved daddy ru.

do know we are d beauty with brain,people..

i act spontaneously.sorry~

d other part of my kesayangans.*kisses*

sure thing i need to take dat face expression off me when i'm a diplomat huh??

murdered.

3 papers more to kill.
or will it kill me?
urrghh~

so down today.
d Qs were so simple.
yet i'm so stupid not knowing how to answer it.
i stared at the blank paper.
wondering what to write.
wondering how d hell am i suppose to start d 30marks essay?

god plz.
help me go through with diz stuff.

one more dear god.
make me sleep during nights.
it damaged my brain by not having enough sleep.
u make me feel sleepy.
but y cant my eyes just went off to sleep?

i gave up.
just now.
and i'm giving up.
now.
again~

need sum pills.
extra strong pills.
who would be such a dear and give me sum?

so people,leave me alone.
i mean it.
dont talk to me.
dont even bother to ask whether i'm fine or not.
J U S T L E A V E M E A L O N E

[international political economy of Asia Pacific]
[international conflicts]
[international law]
so gonna get killed by d end of next week.

pray for me.
it's gonna be a hectic week.
even now i can feel d tense.

mode: restless

p/s: so down..i wonder how much lower my heart can shrink.. :(