I don’t even know for sure if there’s a version of this out there in one of my blog posts, but regardless, here’s the one-act I am working on. I feel like this is really close to completion, but I just need extra minds to read over it and give me notes, so if you’ve got an hour to spare, please devote that time to helping me improve this piece of art!

FYI, the content does involve how a person deals with rape (most of which I’m still clueless about since I’ve never experienced it myself). If you are sensitive to those types of scenes, then I’d suggest you proceed with caution. I don’t want to force you to read it, nor do I want to take away an important factor in this entire ordeal, so that’s about all I can say.

Otherwise, that’s all you need to know before you read ahead. Enjoy!

CAST:

SAVANNAH, f, 33. Protagonist who just wants one thing.

ZACH, m, 32. Her stubborn husband.

DOCTOR, f, 41. Covers all necessary specialists.

INTERN, m/f, 27. Naïve, but has good intentions.

TIME: The present.  However, the time will jump back and forth, but it would not be specified at which point the next scene us set.  After all, the audience never gets time cues, so why should you?  Use specific light cues to distinguish between the present and the flashbacks.

SETTING: Somewhere in the U.S.

Pro-Choice: a One-Act Play

SCENE I: HOSPITAL ROOM

(SAVANNAH lays in bed as ZACH sits by her side, holding her hand as they both smile at each other, mid-conversation.  Then, the DOCTOR steps in with a younger INTERN.)

DOCTOR

And how are you feeling today, Savannah?  Good?

SAVANNAH

(Weakly.)

A little headache-y, but what else do you expect from terminal brain cancer?

(There are slight chuckles exchanged between the DOCTOR and the couple, which confuse the INTERN.)

DOCTOR

Well, Savannah, now that we’re here, we may as well get started.  Would you like to fill us in on the patient?

SAVANNAH

(Professionally as if she were the INTERN.)

The patient was diagnosed with brain cancer when her doctors found a frontal lobe tumor.  After rigorous treatment–haha, get it?  “Rigor?”  Because of rigor mor–okay…  Umm…

(Mentally rewinds her synopsis.)

Ah, after heavy treatment, the patient has decided that, since the tumor shows no signs of subsiding, she would rather focus on end-of-life care at this point.  When the time comes and the cancer decides to finally pollute her entire brain, ceasing all activity, including breathing on her own, those decisions will be made by the patient’s…

(Takes note of the man beside her.)

…extremely attractive husband.

ZACH

You know I will.

(Winks at SAVANNAH.)

SAVANNAH

(Looks down at her wrist as if she were wearing a watch.)

Speaking of whom, he should be here in about…

ZACH

(Gently nudges her arm.)

Hahaha, you’re hilarious.

DOCTOR

Couldn’t have said it better myself.  Looks like your three years in medical school taught you well.

SAVANNAH

Yeah, figures I would be my only patient.

DOCTOR

Nonono, you are still my patient.  As long as my name is still next to the word “Physician” on your file, I’m the one treating you.

SAVANNAH

Yeah, because I’m paying you.

(They weakly laugh again during the shift in atmosphere.)

DOCTOR

Savannah, we’re going to take you in for an MRI today to see how far the cancer’s progressed so we can get a better idea of what to do down the line.  Any questions?

SAVANNAH

Okay.  Nothing we haven’t done before.  I’m ready.

DOCTOR

(This time, speaks as a peer.)

You sure you want this?  I mean, we can be even more aggressive if you just wait a bit longer–

SAVANNAH

Yes, I’m sure.  Look, I know you did everything you could, but I’m done now.  There’s no need to waste any more energy on me.  I’m fine with it. Truly.

DOCTOR

(Smiles encouragingly.)

All right then.  It’s your call.

INTERN

(This will not stand!)

But I don’t get it.  Don’t you want to live?

DOCTOR

Doctor, perhaps we should let the patient rest before we send her in for that MRI.  Will you follow me, please?

INTERN

(Follows DOCTOR slightly aside.)

Our job as doctors is to make sure that she survives this.  What does that say about us if we just give up?

DOCTOR

Except, more importantly, our job is also to respect her wishes.  Now, if you’re not willing to do so, I will find someone who will, and revoke your medical license faster than you can say “Hippocratic Oath”.  Are we clear?

INTERN

(Stifled.)

Yes, ma’am.  Like glass.

(After the DOCTOR nods once, they both exit.)

ZACH

I have to say: I don’t completely disagree with that other Doctor.

SAVANNAH

(Starting to get annoyed.)

Zach…I’ve already made up my mind, so there’s no point in–

ZACH

(Calmly rubs her shoulder.)

Shh…I know, honey.  I know.  I just wish you could’ve talked to me about it first.

SAVANNAH

We already did.  And you know what? It wouldn’t have mattered anyway because this is something that I want.  It has nothing to do with you.

ZACH

(Opens his mouth to argue, but decides to hold back and fake a smile.)

Fine.  You’re the boss.

SCENE II: LIVING ROOM

(Loud music and chatty people pollute the environment, including the DOCTOR and INTERN–as different characters–who are aggressively making out in the corner.  At CS, teenage ZACH stares at the couple, so teenage SAVANNAH distracts him.)

SAVANNAH

Hey, aren’t you in my history class?

(Waves her finger into thin air as if trying to magically summon the right name.)

Zach, right?

ZACH

(Avoids eye contact, which doesn’t seem to bother her.)

Wow.  I didn’t think you even noticed me.

SAVANNAH

Are you kidding?  Of course, I did.  You’re the quiet one who always sits in the back.  I heard you’re, like, a genius or something.

(Leans in toward him as if begging for the dirty details.)

Is that true?

ZACH

(Shrugs.)

Meh, I get by.

SAVANNAH

Of course, you do.

(She extends her hand.)

I’m Savannah.  Sav, for short.

ZACH

(Grins and shakes it.)

Pleasure to meet you.  Officially.

(He winks, clicks his tongue, and points at her to try to charm her, which is very awkward, making it just as sweet.)

SAVANNAH

(Giggles.)

Oh, wow.  You’re so adorable!  So who invited you to this party anyway?  This doesn’t seem like your scene.

ZACH

Actually, it’s my house, so showing up was sort of unavoidable.

SAVANNAH

(In awe.)

Wait, this is your party?

ZACH

My older sister’s.  She’s the more sociable one.  Obviously.

SAVANNAH

Well, you’re not so bad yourself, Zach.

(She winks.)

ZACH

(Smirks.)

Really?  Well…thanks.

SCENE III: BEDROOM

(SAVANNAH is on bed rest, her eyes fixated on a piece of wall in front of her.  She and ZACH are currently in shock, so he keeps himself busy by tidying up the room a bit.)

SAVANNAH

(In a trance.)

So…radiation sorta worked.  Thought we got all of it.  Then, ever since I relapsed, the chemo didn’t do much either.

(Looks at ZACH, but takes a few beats to say what’s on her mind.)

Zach, I don’t think I can do this anymore.  Trying to get through this–it’s just too much.

(She uses a beat to build confidence and then makes an official statement.)

I wanna stop treatment.

ZACH

(Still holds hope in his voice.)

Well, what do we do then?  Give radiation another try?  I mean, I know it didn’t exactly work the first time, but it almost did.  You were in remission for, what, two years?  So who’s to say it won’t work a second time?

SAVANNAH

Six months, Zach.  I was healthy for six months.  And, even then, I knew it’d come back.  I think it’s time to accept the fact that, sooner or later, this disease will kill me.

ZACH

So that’s it?  You’re just giving up?  After everything you’ve been through?

SAVANNAH

(Quietly.)

I’m not giving up.

ZACH

Really, ’cause that’s what it sounds like: you literally just said you’re done with the treatments.  I would like to know how that isn’t the definition of giving up.

SAVANNAH

But nothing’s working.  I’ve accepted that.  I’ve known that ever since I saw those scans, Zach.

ZACH

What, so you’re saying you’re such a good doctor that you predicted all along what this cancer could do?  Is that it?

SAVANNAH

(Practically interrupts him.)

There’s absolutely nothing predictable about cancer!  All I did was…  “Expect disappointment to avoid disappointment”.  You taught me that.  Even when the doctor told me I was in remission, I knew it wasn’t over.  I knew it was only a matter of time before I relapsed, which is why I didn’t panic about it.  I just let nature take its course and this is where it’s gotten me.  That’s all this is.

ZACH

You really believe that, Savannah?  Do you really believe that you can just wave a white flag after everything you’ve been through?  The IVF, losing our babies, treatments–

SAVANNAH

(She doesn’t want to hear the rest of that list.)

No!  I really don’t believe anything anymore.  I’ve…actually lost faith in a lot of things. 

(Zones out for a beat.)

But this?  I feel it in my bones, Zach.  I’m all worn out.

ZACH

This is bullshit.

SAVANNAH

Say what you want, Zach.  But I’m done.  All I want now is to just spend my last days with you. Not chained to some machines as if I still had a chance to live normally.  That’s not a lot to ask for, is it?

SCENE IV: LIVING ROOM

(Continuing from the previous scene, a light cue takes us to the past.  SAVANNAH and ZACH cuddle in bed with his hand on her stomach.)

SAVANNAH

(Excitedly.)

All right, baby names!  Hmm…  Brainstorming…  Brainstorming…  Brainstorming…

ZACH

Okay, how about Rupert?

SAVANNAH

Like Ron from “Harry Potter”?

ZACH

No, after my grandfather.

SAVANNAH

Zach, our baby’s not a British politician.

ZACH

(Scoffs.)

You don’t know that.

SAVANNAH

(Snickers.)

No, how about…Gabrielle?

ZACH

For a girl?

SAVANNAH

No, smart-ass, for a boy.

ZACH

Hey, I’d be down with that.

SAVANNAH

Yeah, but not so much with the bullies on the playground.

ZACH

I really like Anna though.  For a girl.

SAVANNAH

Really?  Just…Anna?

ZACH

What’s wrong with that, Sav-annah?

SAVANNAH

(As ZACH rubs her belly and concentrates on it.)

It’s just too simple!  Boring!  At least the special part of my name is the first syllable, hence it’s my nickname.  Nobody calls me “Anna” for short.  It’s simply just “Sav”.

ZACH

Well, she definitely feels like an Anna to me.

SAVANNAH

(Mocks his sweet tone.)

Aw, well, guess what?  You’re not the one carrying her.

ZACH

Fine then.  Let’s compromise.

SAVANNAH

Oh?  And how do we do that?

ZACH

We could use one as the middle name.  Anna Gabrielle–

SAVANNAH

(She shakes her head, rejecting the prospective name combination.)

No way.  That sounds like “Anne of Green Gables”.

ZACH

What?  How?

SAVANNAH

“Anna Green Gabriel’s”? 

(ZACH scoffs.)

How about Gabrielle Anna?

ZACH

(Thinks for a beat.)

What if we put them together?

SAVANNAH

Like “Annabrielle”?  I just think of “inebriate”.

ZACH

(Rolls eyes.)

Gabriellanna?

SAVANNAH

Too much.

(A beat as something clicks.)

Gabrianna.

ZACH

Gabrianna.  Huh…I like it.

SAVANNAH

(Rubs her stomach.)

Yeah…I think she likes it, too.

ZACH

Okay…so, if this baby is a girl, we’re definitely going with Gabrianna.

SAVANNAH

Aw, jeez.  I have to pee again.

ZACH

Go ahead.

SAVANNAH

(As she stands.)

I seriously think this baby thinks my bladder is some kind of–

(Doubles over and moans.)

ZACH

(Alarmed, immediately goes to her aid.)

Whoawhoawhoa, easy.  Easy.

(He helps her back into her seat.)

You okay?

SAVANNAH

I think so?  I just–

(Screams even louder and cringes.  She hyperventilates.)

Zach, something’s not right.

ZACH

Shit.

(Grabs his cell phone and dials.)

You think it’s happening again?

SAVANNAH

(Fearfully tears up.)

Oh God, I hope not.  But it feels all too familiar.

ZACH

(Quickly into the phone as SAVANNAH starts crying out again.)

We need help!  It’s my wife, she’s almost three months pregnant and we think she’s having another miscarriage.  Yes, another!  472 Robinson Avenue!  Please hurry!

SCENE V: HOSPITAL ROOM

(SAVANNAH lays in bed, in even worse condition, winching throughout most of the scene.  She still has the energy to talk and shift in bed, but her frailty is at the point where if she needs to move around the room, a wheelchair is required.  The DOCTOR enters with a clipboard and her INTERN and stands in the corner, observing.)

INTERN

(Softly.)

Hey, Savannah.  Where’s Zach today?

SAVANNAH

Work.  Somebody’s gotta pay these medical bills.  They’re just piling up.  Man, it takes a shitload of money to die these days.

INTERN

(Tries not to let this bother them.)

Can you update us on your pain level?  On a scale of 1 to 10, 10 being the–

SAVANNAH

Feeling like I was electrocuted–tortured for information I didn’t have, then chained to a car, and dragged down a road of broken glass, and then dumped into a pool of lemon juice, finally being left for dead?

INTERN

Yes…

SAVANNAH

12-and-a-half.

INTERN

(Gets ready to jot it down on SAVANNAH’S file.)

That’s your pain level?

SAVANNAH

Miles.  It feels like I’ve been dragged for 12.5 miles.  Are you sure you can’t give me anything to get that down to at least an eight?

INTERN

We already did.  You’re getting 1mg of Dilaudid.

SAVANNAH

(Puts her hands together in prayer position.)

Could you please do me a favor and give your favorite patient a little more than that?

(The INTERN looks over at the DOCTOR for confirmation.)

DOCTOR

(Nods.)

Up her dosage to another milligram.

SAVANNAH

Thanks.  Now, you’re really my favorite doctor.

DOCTOR

(Following her playful joke.)

Oh, I wasn’t your favorite before?  How you hurt me.

SAVANNAH

No, for a while, it was that hot blonde with the dimples.  You were just a close second.  In fact, if I weren’t already married or dying, I’d be doing it with him in an on-call room like they do on Grey’s Anatomy.  Scratch that: I’d be glad to jump him even if I were only dying.

DOCTOR

(Unintentionally ignores SAVANNAH.)

Make sure it’s one more milligram, not a milliliter.  The last thing we need is for you to scream profanities in the lobby again after you realized you could’ve said the wrong dosage.  And, if it turns out you actually did give it to her in milliliters this time, I swear–

SAVANNAH

Then God forbid I O.D. before I’ve died of a potassium overdose anyway.

INTERN

(Gives SAVANNAH a look and then faces the DOCTOR again.)

Yes, ma’am.

(The INTERN goes to a medicine cabinet in the room to get the syringe and injects it into the needle that was already taped to SAVANNAH’S arm.)

DOCTOR

(To SAVANNAH.)

I’ll check on you later.

(She exits.)

INTERN

(As soon as the DOCTOR is out of earshot.)

You’re being an idiot.

SAVANNAH

Excuse me?

INTERN

How could you not want to keep fighting?  Didn’t you hear the doc?  You can still beat this.

SAVANNAH

(Sits up.)

Okay.  Lay it on me.

INTERN

(Loudly disposes of the used syringe and gives SAVANNAH a piece of their mind.)

You have a chance.  Yet you refuse to continue treatment, and for what?  Exhaustion?  Why can’t you just hold on a little longer?  Just hold on and then you’ll see: you’ll be in full remission before you know it.  Listen: there are countless doctors out there who all agree that, if we just figure out another way to approach this tumor, you will survive.  You’re just not strong enough to realize it.

SAVANNAH

(Takes her time so she is clear.)

Sometimes…dying is surviving.

INTERN

(After a very confused beat.)

…What the fuck does that mean?

SAVANNAH

Survival is measured in more than one way.  The way you, and the rest of society, perceive it, is in terms of life and death.  People say that you survived a car accident or that a marriage has a 50% survival rate, as if simply ceasing to exist was the only way a person doesn’t pull through. 

(She takes a deep breath, yet maintains growing excitement.)

I may not be surviving in terms of living, but I’ve survived by dying on my own terms.  I have a choice in how and when I get to die.  How awesome is that?

(The INTERN stares, even more puzzled.)

Okay, admittedly poor choice of words, but do you see my point?  I’ve accepted this tumor a long time ago and that has nothing to do with strength.  It’s all about survival. 

(She takes her time with her next statement.)

Even in death, I can say I survived because nothing was taken from me.

INTERN

But you decide this based on the information we have now.  If we go back in for another MRI, then–

SAVANNAH

What do you think you’ll see?  That the tumor just…shrunk miraculously?  Hey, by now, it doesn’t matter how far it’s progressed.  Now, it’s about dying comfortably.  That’s it.  I want to be euthanized.

INTERN

What, like a dog?

SAVANNAH

At this point, I’m just as useful as one, so why shouldn’t I be able to go the same way?

INTERN

I’m sorry.

SAVANNAH

So you get it now?

INTERN

No.  All due respect, you’re still by far the stupidest patient I’ve ever treated, but the last moments of your own life are what you make of them.  Who am I to get in the way of that?  You deserve to make that choice by yourself, but only because you’re a human being. Not some rabid dog who needs to be put down.

SCENE VI: THEIR BEDROOM

(SAVANNAH and ZACH have just finished in bed.  ZACH rolls to his side–the one closest to the audience–and they are both panting heavily.)

ZACH

Okay, that was literally my best work.  No way we didn’t make a baby this time.

SAVANNAH

(Disinterested.)

We won’t know for sure till we check in a couple weeks.

ZACH

Yeah…

(A beat, and then he looks over at SAVANNAH.)

So you think it worked?

SAVANNAH

(She sits up so her body faces away from the audience.  She slips on her underwear and puts on her robe.)

Like I said: we won’t know until I take a pregnancy test in a couple weeks.

ZACH

Come on, you’re not going to be the least bit hopeful this time?

SAVANNAH

(Coldly.)

When you’ve felt your baby simply slip out from between your legs, come and find me so we can talk about how easy it is to hope.

ZACH

There was nothing wrong with you then.  The pregnancy just didn’t take anymore.

SAVANNAH

But how?  How exactly does that happen?  How does a pregnancy just…stop?

ZACH

Well, if you’ve lost all hope, then why are we still trying?

SAVANNAH

Because I know we still have the slightest chance.  Doesn’t mean I have to plan a baby shower.

(She sinks down on the bed, at ZACH’S feet.)

ZACH

Hey…it’s gonna work this time.

SAVANNAH

How can you be so sure?

ZACH

I’m an optimist, babe.  You know that–

SAVANNAH

(Interrupts him.)

Disappointment, Zach.  “Expect to avoid”, remember?  So you can take all your optimism somewhere else, so I don’t get infected with this positivity bullshit.

ZACH

(He wants to cheer her up, so he strokes her shoulder.)

Hey…wanna go again?  Just for us?

SAVANNAH

(Shrugs him off.)

Zach, we literally just did it.

ZACH

Yeah, but that was for the kid.  This time, it’ll be for us.  So, what do you say?  Another round?  You know, for fuck’s sake?

(Grins at his own joke.)

SAVANNAH

(Trying to be patient.)

Zach, I’m really not in the mood.

ZACH

Come on, it’s been a while since we’ve had sex that wasn’t about baby-making.

(Tension builds up as he strokes her shoulder and kisses it. He whispers.)

Babe, come on.

SAVANNAH

(Fiercely shoves him aside.)

Zach, seriously, stop it!

ZACH

(Doesn’t stop his advances.)

I just want to get intimate with my wife. Is that so wrong?

SAVANNAH

(She gives him a loud slap across the face.)

FOR THE LOVE OF GOD, WILL YOU JUST LEAVE ME ALONE?!?!

(As he puts his hands up in defeat, SAVANNAH stands up and glares at him for a beat and tries to regain her composure.)

I told you: I’m not in the mood.

(She huffs and exits exasperatedly.)

SCENE VII: HOSPITAL ROOM

(The DOCTOR stands next to ZACH as they go over some forms, but they still stand close to SAVANNAH, who is stuck in bed.)

DOCTOR

(To SAVANNAH.)

Okay, so here’s the form you need to sign before we start.

SAVANNAH

This is the DNR, right?

DOCTOR

Correct.

ZACH

I’m sorry, the what?

DOCTOR

“Do Not Resuscitate.”

SAVANNAH

It means that if my heart stops, they legally can’t make any effort to bring me back.  Under my direct orders.

ZACH

What, are you kidding me?  If they choose not to bring you back to life, doesn’t that sort of, oh, I don’t know, go against everything we’ve worked for?

SAVANNAH

Honey…

DOCTOR

It’s what the patient wants.

ZACH

Bullshit.  You’re her doctor, so do your job and fix her!

SAVANNAH

(With a scolding voice.)

Zach, please.

DOCTOR

(Interrupting SAVANNAH.)

Except when she chooses differently.  Zach, I understand your heartache, but, at the end of the day, Savannah is the one who decides what happens to her body.  It’s her call.

ZACH

(Coldly with a hint of devilish snarl.)

Yeah, that’s enough out of you, Kevorkian.

SAVANNAH

(Before he can cause further damage.)

Oh, my God, Zach, shut up!

DOCTOR

(Tries to maintain her civility, so she returns to SAVANNAH.)

I’ll come back later.

(Exits as the scene continues.)

ZACH

Sav, I can’t do this anymore.

SAVANNAH

Zach, don’t.

ZACH

(Grows in desperation.)

No, I’m not going to sit around and take this anymore, okay?  I need to say something, so for once, will you just shut up and hear what I have to say?!

SAVANNAH

Fine then.  Go ahead.

ZACH

(Wow, she’s finally letting me talk.)

You can’t throw it all way just because you’ve lost hope.

SAVANNAH

This isn’t me losing hope.  This is me fighting for my life.

ZACH

Then do it!  Fight!  Because this isn’t all about you.  This impacts my life, too.  Did you even consider that?  Did you consider how screwed up my life will be if you do this?

SAVANNAH

You can live the life you want, Zach.  I won’t be getting any better.  I’m falling apart and there’s nothing we can do about it.  And that’s not me expecting disappointment; it’s fact.  If we went home right now, I’d still be dying, bedridden, and you’d still have to take care of me.  Tend to my every need: assist me to the bathroom when I warn you early enough, so I don’t make a mess;  bathe me everyday;  feed me through injections because anything I swallow, I’ll just choke on.

ZACH

Yeah, but, you see, I want to do all those things for you, Sav.

SAVANNAH

Except I don’t want you to.  I don’t want you to be burdened by making sure my simplest life needs are fulfilled.  You don’t deserve that.  You don’t deserve to put a stop to your life just because I can’t do something a six-year-old can.  That’s not a life.  That’s a prison sentence.

ZACH

But you are also my life.  I need you–

SAVANNAH

(Why can’t you see the point already?!)

I’m in agony, Zach!  It hurts everywhere in my body!  The rest of my life will be just like this!  It’ll involve endless torment and, unless they finally have a cure for cancer in my lifetime, it’s all I have!  That, and the ability to get this final say!

ZACH

But you’re not dying.  You’re just acting like it because you think you’re on some soap opera.  If you could just stay alive for a little longer, then you’ll be in less pain.  You just gotta hold on.

SAVANNAH

This was never about my death sentence.  I don’t care about what happens after I’m gone.  I really don’t.  All I want…is to stop hurting.  And if that involves leaving my body, I’ll do it.  At this point, that’s the next step for me.  It’s the only step.

ZACH

But I want you to live.  The treatment is supposed to help–

SAVANNAH

Treatment isn’t magic.  I’ve given all my options a chance and now look.  My body is just going to get worse to the point where I’m being kept alive in such an unnatural way.  Now tell me: is it really living if you’re stuck with a tube down your throat the rest of your life?  Are you alive if you’re attached to a bunch of machines that are only meant to sustain your life, not improve it?

(Several beats, which ZACH uses to avoid eye contact as long as possible.)

ZACH

(Ignores her powerful speech.)

I don’t care.  You’re my wife and I made a promise to love you in sickness, and in health, which means that I have to do everything in my power to fight–

SAVANNAH

Until death parts us…

(During this beat, they stare at each other, begging the other to back down.  She eventually shuts her eyes, fighting back tears.)

You know what?  Fine, you win.  Whatever, who cares?  Have it your way.  I’ve lasted this long.  What’s a couple more weeks?

ZACH

Time I get to spend with the woman I love.

SAVANNAH

(Mutters.)

There you go again.  Making it all about you.

ZACH

What?

SAVANNAH

(Sharply.)

I just want to stop hurting, Zach.

ZACH

So do I.

[5-Minute Intermission Slot?]

SCENE VIII: OB/GYN PATIENT EXAM ROOM

(SAVANNAH, dressed in a hospital gown, is seated on patient bed while the DOCTOR sits in a wheeled office chair, in front of SAVANNAH’S legs.)

DOCTOR

So how far along do you think you are?

SAVANNAH

Okay, let’s see: my last period was back in June, so not much longer than 13 weeks?  I’m guessing.

DOCTOR

And do you remember exactly when you conceived?  I just need it to get a more accurate due date.

SAVANNAH

I’m sorry.  We’d just been trying so hard it all sort of…blended.

DOCTOR

No worries.  At least we know that it’s going to be in…late February?  Early March?  That sound about right? 

(She gives the nodding SAVANNAH a polite smile.)

All right, everything looks good!

(She takes off her rubber gloves and wheels the chair in front of the computer.  She uses this to take notes after each question is answered.)

Have you been experiencing any other symptoms?  Headaches?  Nausea?

SAVANNAH

Oh, the works: headaches, nausea–I’ve been feeling really dizzy these past couple weeks.  I also noticed I lose my balance a lot of the time, and I feel like my mood swings are a little more serious than the typical pregnant woman’s.  Is that normal?

DOCTOR

Well, every body is different, and, in that same respect, so is every pregnancy.  Some women experience more of one symptom than others, and the lucky mothers-to-be don’t experience any serious side effects. So it really depends on the person and the pregnancy.

SAVANNAH

So there’s nothing to worry about?

DOCTOR

Not at all.  It could just be your body responding to the pregnancy.  Could you explain any instances where these symptoms have been more serious?  Occasions that stood out most to you?

SAVANNAH

Yeah, I mean…  I almost got into a car accident.  Twice.  Once because my fingertips started feeling numb.  The other was because I had blurry vision.  Zach wanted me to talk to someone about it, but I just chalked it up to the pregnancy.

DOCTOR

(Slightly more worried, but tries to maintain eye contact for SAVANNAH’S sake.)

How about your language?  Have you had any trouble speaking or coming up with words?

SAVANNAH

Sometimes, but I mean–who doesn’t?

DOCTOR

Could you explain that a little more?

SAVANNAH

(Lets out a brief chuckle as she thinks of a memory.)

Well, there was one time when I mixed up my husband’s first and middle names, but I just blamed pregnancy brain.  There’s nothing wrong with that, right?

DOCTOR

How frequently has this been going on?

SAVANNAH

Lately, more and more, but I figured it was pregnancy brain…

(Her voice trails away as she reads the DOCTOR’S mind.)

What’s wrong, Doc?  That’s normal for pregnancy, right?

DOCTOR

I’m afraid I can’t say for certain, but let’s just get you an MRI to figure out what’s going on.

SAVANNAH

Whoa, “MRI”?  Is it that serious?

DOCTOR

Just as a precaution.  We might not find anything wrong at all and it really could just be your body.  Remember: every body is different.  Chances are you’re just stressed because of how long you’ve been trying.  Nerves since it’s finally happened for you and you’re just anxious about making sure this baby makes it to term.

(She sighs.)

In the meantime, take good care of yourself: watch what you eat, drink, even breathe.  Whatever goes in your system, goes inside the baby as well.

SAVANNAH

I know that.  I have three years of medical training before giving up on a career in it.

DOCTOR

(Smiles slightly more relieved.)

Oh, really?  That’s good then.  You’re better equipped to handle situations like this.

SAVANNAH

(Sighs in a form of conclusion.)

So just the MRI then?

DOCTOR

Yes. 

(SAVANNAH gets up and grabs her purse and clothes.)

I’d suggest you consult with a local radiologist.  The results are immediate, so they can discuss them right after the test.

SAVANNAH

All right.  Thank you.

DOCTOR

No problem.

(Aside.)

Hopefully. 

SAVANNAH

(Just before she exits, she stops.)

Hey, Doc?

DOCTOR

Yes?

SAVANNAH

I tripped a few weeks ago.  I think I could’ve hit my head.  Could a concussion have caused those other symptoms?

DOCTOR

(A beat.)

Let’s just wait till the MRI results.

SCENE IX: DOCTOR’S OFFICE

(Surrounding the area representing the DOCTOR’S office, a handful of certificates and diplomas adorn the wall.  On the DOCTOR’S desk is her name plate with the title “Radiologist”.  As they wait for the DOCTOR to enter, SAVANNAH and ZACH sit in front of her desk, holding hands.  Then, the DOCTOR enters and takes her seat behind the desk.)

DOCTOR

Savannah, we got the results back from your MRI and it turns out it isn’t a concussion.

SAVANNAH

Then what is it?

DOCTOR

I’m afraid that you have a frontal lobe tumor.  It’s malignant, but I think I can excise the whole thing.

SAVANNAH

(Lets out a brief chuckle in disbelief.)

No, you’re wrong. 

DOCTOR

Savannah–

SAVANNAH

You’ve made a mistake.  I’m 33.  There’s no way I have cancer.  Absolutely no way. 

DOCTOR

I’ve checked several times and asked for a consult.  All three of my colleagues confirmed.

SAVANNAH

(Extends her hand.)

No, you know what?  Just hand me the scans.

DOCTOR

Savannah–

SAVANNAH

Show.  Me.  The scans.  Now.

(The DOCTOR reluctantly hands them to her.  SAVANNAH takes them out and holds them up to the light.  As soon as she sees it, she glares and takes a closer look.  Once her eyes confirm her suspicions, she lowers her arm and places the X- rays on the cover of the folder.)

ZACH

(Tries to look at the scans as if he’d know what he’s looking for.)

What?  What is it?

SAVANNAH

(Slowly, as she is also taking in this shocking information.)

She’s right: there is a mass on my right frontal lobe.

ZACH

So it is cancer…

SAVANNAH

(Nods and then speaks to the DOCTOR.)

So what’s the prognosis?

DOCTOR

We’re going to have to surgically remove what we can, which is hopefully all of it. 

SAVANNAH

Obviously.

DOCTOR

Course of treatment will heavily depend on how much tumor we find.

SAVANNAH

And, if you don’t get the whole tumor?  What then?  Chemotherapy?

DOCTOR

Let’s just worry about that after surgery, okay?  One step at a time.  We can admit you ASAP, but until the actual surgery, you should get as much rest as you can.  The road ahead of us is going to be Hell, but I know you’re a fighter.

SCENE X: HOSPITAL ROOM

(Lights give off an eery, dreamlike setting.  A comatose SAVANNAH–played by a dummy–lays in bed with tubes and machines.  ZACH uses her body as a pillow and sleeps.  Suddenly, SAVANNAH shows up behind him, laying a hand on his shoulder, which wakes him up.  When she speaks, her behavior is lighter than the real SAVANNAH’S.)

SAVANNAH

You know, waiting around, holding vigil for her, won’t bring her back.  Then again, neither will anything else at this point, so you may as well continue.

ZACH

She’s coming back.

SAVANNAH

Zach, you need to get it through your head that that’s never going to happen.  The woman you love is gone.

ZACH

Her heart beats.

SAVANNAH

It wouldn’t be.  Not as long as that machine is pumping her blood.  I get it.  I get why you don’t want to pull the plug.  She’s your wife.  The problem is, whatever miracle you expect to come out of this….  Savannah is already dead.  Her body just hasn’t caught up to it yet.  The part of her that gave her life–everything that made her her own person–is officially gone.  Dead.  Stuck.  But gone.

(As ZACH walks away from her, she gets more forceful.)

What you’re doing right now is delaying the inevitable and that’s unhealthy for the both of you.  The only thing to do at this point is to pull that trigger.  That’s literally all that’s left. 

(She gets more desperate, which is why she switches to first person when talking about SAVANNAH.)

Are you even listening to me?  Zach, as I lay on this bed–if I could scream, I would.  I would beg you to stop, to release me once and for all.  You’re the only one who can end this; you just gotta make that call.

ZACH

What kind of husband would I be to say it’s okay to kill my own wife?

SAVANNAH

(She regains her composure.)

Right now, she’s suffering the most she’s ever been.  The most.  And you were there for all the shit she went through.  That was nothing–that was a paper cut compared to what’s going on right now.

ZACH

(Takes a beat to stare at the SAVANNAH laying in bed.)

You’re lying.  Look at her: she’s lying perfectly still.  She’s not in any pain.  She’s just asleep.

SAVANNAH

(She’s lost all her patience now.)

Zach, you are not in my body, so don’t you dare pretend like you know what I’m going through!

ZACH

Well, you’re not in my mind, so stop pretending that you know how I feel!

SAVANNAH

Your pain will eventually end.  Don’t you realize?  Mental pain subsides over time, but, with the little time I have left–Zach, I’m stuck with the agony here.  All I have left in me is absolute misery.  But you?  You have the time to heal.  So take it.

ZACH

(Quietly, as he is finally starting to accept it.)

Let me grieve.  Could you just grant me that?

SAVANNAH

Grief comes after someone has already died.  If you need to grieve, that just means that your brain has already comprehended that I’m dead.

(She looks at the dummy in the bed and silently let’s out a humorous huff.)

Funnily enough, I’m the one who’s actually brain-dead here.

(A beat.)

Zach, you spent almost our entire marriage taking care of me, making sure I was always safe and comfortable.  That part of our journey is over.  It’s time you actually found a way to do that for yourself.  Just because I don’t have a future doesn’t mean that yours should be taken away.  Just try, at least.  Stop being a coward and try.

(She gives him a genuine smile.)

You’ll be okay, Zach.  I’ll be okay.  I promise.

SCENE XI: BEDROOM

(ZACH is laying in bed with his hand on an urn, which resides between him and the audience.  This time, the bed is on the other side of the stage, to mirror its previous arrangement.)

ZACH

I was never much of a talker.  Well, you knew that better than anyone else.  After all, you’re the one who dug me out of my shell.

(He awkwardly smiles during a beat.)

I’m sorry.  This is just too weird for me.  Someone at support group told me that she talks to her wife’s urn every night.  I don’t know, that’s just weird.  She says that it’s essentially the same thing as visiting someone’s grave and talking to them, and that’s a lot more public than whatever this is.  But anyways…here it goes:

(Another uneasy pause as he tries to make it sound like he’s catching up with her on the phone.)

So…I went out to lunch with my sister.  She’s good.  Oh, and she finally has a boyfriend after all that bitching about dying a virgin.  It’s official: even if she dies tomorrow, it’d be impossible for her fear to arise again.  And now, I’m talking to my wife’s ashes about my sister’s sex life.  Cool.

(He lets out a brief chuckle, and then a beat.)

Has this ever happened to you where, way back in elementary school, you learn that you can’t take unless you give back?  It made sense.  I mean, it’s essentially a negotiation, so it’s only fair.  “I’ll trade you this for that.” “You want my pretzels?  How about I give you the entire bag for your packet of Gushers?”

Obviously, that was a much simpler time.  Before you ever knew that everything you deserve could be taken away in the blink of an eye.  That’s not how the universe works though.  It always takes, and nothing is given back.

All right, fine.  I’ll give it some credit: it gives, and then, seventeen years later, takes the gift back from us like the cold-hearted bitch it is.

(A beat as ZACH gets lost in his angry thoughts.)

We were supposed to grow old together, Sav.  They called us partners for a reason: you were the hero and I was your sidekick.  That’s how it always was.  But what’s the sidekick supposed to do now?  Find another hero to tag along with?  It was always Bonnie and Clyde.  Mulder and Scully.  Hell, Brad and Angelina!

(He doesn’t pause here.)

You told me that all you wanted was for me to move on.  Start my own life.  I know I promised that I’d try, but I’m exhausted.  It’s just…too much.

(A dark beat as he very slowly sighs.)

Well…

(Another beat as he strokes the urn.)

Goodnight, Sav.  I love you.

(He gives the urn a kiss and pulls the covers over half of it.)

SCENE XII: LIVING ROOM

(The final flashback: SAVANNAH approaches ZACH as the DOCTOR and INTERN–once again, as different characters–stand around, having their own conversation, drinks in hand.)

SAVANNAH

You freaking out about it again?

ZACH

What do you think?  It’s just nerve-racking.

SAVANNAH

Just relax, okay?  You’re going to be the next J.K. Rowling!  This book release party is for you.  This is your night!  Then, by next week, that novel of yours is going to be #1 on everyone’s bestseller list.

ZACH

I’d rather just believe that that’s never going to happen.  You know…”expect disappointment to avoid disappointment” kinda thing.

SAVANNAH

What?

ZACH

Nothing.  Just something I say to myself during times like these.

SAVANNAH

Honey, for once, everything is falling into place.  We can finally have a normal life now that your  writing career has taken off, we have our own house, and our family’s about to get bigger.

(She places a caring hand on her own stomach.)

So stop sweating it, drink lots of booze–especially on my behalf–and enjoy the party.

ZACH

(Kisses her.)

What would I do without you?

SAVANNAH

I love you, too.

(They hug.)

Hey, Zach?

(ZACH lets her go to look into her eyes.)

You got this.

(SAVANNAH kisses ZACH again as lights fade.)

END OF PLAY.