Each tear trickling down my face
Splashes on the ground
and explodes in gratitude towards you

Darkness consumed my world
Broken and shattered by fear
No matter if I looked within myself or without

I cried that night for death
An escape that seemed so sweet
From the prison holding me captive by my fright

Instead, in your all encompassing mercy
Your love descended and you grasped my hand
And led me gently to the key unlocking truth, beauty and light

You brought me the latihan of Subud
But I was unsure of what to do and how to be
Then the angels sang a song of truth that captivated me:

“In facing He who has All
There is nothing that Man can do
Except empty himself in patient surrender”

On that day, my virginity was cast aside
I was impregnated with your divine power
And for the first time in my existence, my Inner Self came to life

Everything I thought I knew
Was burned to the ground, turned ashes and dust
What else could happen in an experience of your reality?

But it was also an illuminating light
Bringing clarity, understanding and the knowledge of Unity
Here I saw beyond right and wrong and all other forms of duality

I began to accept all that was born of your sacred divinity
Any who climbed the multiplicity of your paths using aught but sincerity
And I began to understand my own way of worship: Its rights and wrongs

Most of all, in my darkness
I was showered with your breathtaking and indescribable Love
It descended from the heavens above and poured forth from the heavens within

Although the darkness still lives with me, it is not of me
Now I am those moments of Peace, moments of Love, moments of Reality
In the end, I have been given that which sustains and nourishes me: hope in your divine mercy

What, oh Sacred Love, have I done for all this?
I know no explanation can be demanded of your overflowing Grace
My forehead kisses the ground in prayer and I simply ask that you always stay

Each tear trickling down my face
Splashes on the ground
and explodes in gratitude towards You