Amen

A tiny desire, a tiny dream,
together with a fairy, I travelled it seemed.
I kept walking in the journey,
until I reached to a door.
Realising no one held my hand anymore.
My thoughts just paused, my throat went sore.
I had a fear in my heart, and to the core.
I was left out it felt, yes I was alone.
I took a deep breath and waited,
I was too shocked and felt baited.
That droplet of sweat slowly falling down my beard,
I found no one behind, the door fell open, when the smoke cleared.
Yes, when the smoke cleared.

It was only one shock to find no one there,
The other one was to know the door led to nowhere.
I had to gather myself up, had to walk back.
As that was the only choice, none other I really had.
Walked downhill without the smoke,
I realised it was a barren land,
Walking this time with eyes wide opened,
Thinking of the wasted time that I had in my hands.

I’m now walking right back, a race against time.
Determined to never take this road again,
I’m walking unstoppably in the cold,
with a hurt limb and boy does it pain.
I’ll eventually reach where I started from,
Will reboot this journey afresh,
will make wise choices,
Experienced, the last one was trash.
Nothing that’s learnt from the past ever goes in vain,
I’ll reach to what’s meant just for me, I’ll sprint again.
I’ll gather all my strength, and this time will sustain,
I don’t know whether my fate for me is boon or bane,
But I’ll make this one proud,
This one will last, I roar, Amen.

Vishal Kumar Gaur

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Hardwork, Trust & Heartbreak

Different yet related tiny tales.

The Bird

In my opinion, we all love peace in our lives at one or the other point. How many of us have never felt the need of a peaceful life or environment with no noisy surroundings whatsoever after a party or dancing for hours on loud music at a pub?

One of the most peaceful environments that one could easily get is a garden that could be found public places or at home. Well, not everyone has it, not everyone owns a home either. Many public gardens are paid to visit for the reason that they’re important and some for the other reasons that I’m not hear to discuss.

Continue reading “Hardwork, Trust & Heartbreak”

Never Say Goodbye

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“Hey Frank, what’s up buddy?” I asked my friend while walking into the corridor of our college.
“Well, I’m just chilling hunter, what about you?” He replied. But I was too much in a hurry that I just winked and said that I’d catch up with him after a while.

Well, he called me a hunter because I recently had a girlfriend apparently, my first one and Frank was literally a hunter with the 20th on line, though he never ever bragged about it.

I continued to run down the hallway to reach the office desk on the counter where a staff member was seated, to inquire about the expenses that were pending as it was our last year in the college, and I forgot to tell that eight months had already been passed from that final year, well, four are enough for any big thing to happen to anyone literally.

“Hey Drake, have you seen Frank today?” I heard Lucy; she was Frank’s girlfriend back then.
“Hey there, yeah he’s just outside the hall, maybe waiting for you to show up” I replied.

She left without a second thought or talking about anything else. But since it was about her boyfriend who was waiting for her, I was not at all surprised.

After all that information that I had received from the office, I started to roll out of the hall to say a goodbye for that day to Frank and Lucy so that we’d also decided regarding the plans to follow, like partying, though it took about two hours to gather all the information and filling up required forms. When I came out of the office hall, I saw Frank standing tall in the field on a hot summer day and all sweating, this time, to my surprise as, Lucy was nowhere near to him.

“Lucy didn’t show up today or what buddy?” I asked casually when I reached him.
“Yeah, she just went back after meeting me. We had few plans for the day but she’s been cancelling the plans for some days, saying she didn’t like the plan at the first place or, she’d got something really urgent that came up suddenly.” He replied looking into the sky instead of me.
“Dying relation? Nothing bad I guess my true hunter, she’s probably your 20th and…”
“Last!” he shut me down by saying so, and later looked into my eyes and said it again.
“My last, Drake.”

I left him alone as I sensed that something really bad might have happened to him, a guy with a lot of spare time for any sort of party and literally any good looking girl in the city on any fine day, was standing alone in a field and just looked into the sky when the sun was at its peak. I called up my girlfriend, Jane and talked to her to feel a bit better and I actually did. But as soon as I hung up, I started to feel that it might happen with anyone, me too. True love is something that cannot be defined, but according to me, when someone turns into a need for you, which is not associated with materials or luxury, neither they’re an alternative to your happiness or fun but instead they are just a mere desire, to when you start feeling the need but you can’t figure out why you need them. That, is emotional, unconditional and true love, where reasons are not required to love, or to remember. I started to feel that after meeting nineteen different and of course beautiful ladies, Frank must have known that what he needed, and should have seen that in his 20th. Doesn’t matter what he did in the past, he was never dishonest, he’d never told any of the ladies in the past that he wanted to marry them to my best knowledge and belief, Lucy was the first lucky girl to experience Frank’s true love. But I was afraid that this is the first time for Frank too, for not having a girl who loved him more than he loved her, though, there’s a first time for everything.

Frank and me again met after a week and we talked just as normal, he was looking great as in funny like he usually was. I thought that everything was fine then, because he was my best friend I assumed that he won’t hide anything but, I was wrong. We all were were a fun loving bunch of people and never cared to attend the college even if it was the final year after which we might not see each others’ face ever. Everyone was preparing for exams those days as many of them wanted to score as much as they could’ve and for some of us like me, well, it was a necessity to score.
Days passed and Frank stopped contacting me, I thought he was busy in preparation but, I was again wrong, that too in knowing my best friend. On the day of our first exam, I thought to reach out Frank for taking last minute tips as he was among top five and I was at the same position from the bottom of the list but to my surprise and disbelief, Frank wasn’t seen anywhere, not outside the building, not inside the examination hall, never seen or contacted after the exam and it continued to last. When the similar incident happened during the next examination also, I contacted Frank’s dad, and was shocked when he said that, Frank was missing.

I had to focus on exams but only I know that how I did so, with Frank running all over my mind. After the completion of all exams, I started to search Frank but ended up with no success. Tired, exhausted and shocked, I sat down on my desk at home to check the social networks if they had any clue. Well, they had nothing but I ended up scrolling to a mail from Frank before the exam night and wondered since when he started writing mails. My little hopes turned into shock after reading the mail.
‘Hey Drake, it’s literally my first person to person e-mail lol,
Since you’re one of those people who matters, I’m writing this to you. Lucy didn’t come to me that day when I was waiting for her outside. Instead, after knowing that I was near fiel, as you told her, she went out from the backdoor, I don’t know whether it was fortunate or not, I was there to have a coffee for a short time and I saw her kissing another guy before going out with him. I don’t know why but I think maybe because I loved her and needed clue that she was with him for some other reason than what I was thinking, I followed them but, every time she proved me wrong. Well, needless to say, she cheated. He was Billy, captain of our rival college’s basketball team. I left her and all thoughts behind just to have some peace. It shouldn’t have happened when exams are so close. I tried hard but I might not be able to attend tomorrow’s exam, and maybe other ones too. I’m mailing you instead of a ping so that you read it instantly(sarcasm dude). I would leave home for exam but would visit some place which can provide some peace. It’s ill, but I’ve decided to do so. It’s just yet another girl, a yet another breakup and a yet another end(rather a drastic end) to a love story, right? Well, no, It’s getting much more painful than that. I realise when you just like someone, you don’t even care, but when you actually love, you do. She also has a life and chosen what she wanted, well build over charm(don’t laugh when I say that I have charm), but these sympathetical thoughts remained for just few minutes. Earlier I was angry on her and thought that she’s a, well you know, if I had felt the same till now, it would have been just little too fine but worse has happned bro, I’ve started to feel as if I am lacking something or many things which that guy possesses, and we guys, as you know, can never handle the thought of being parsimonious or inferior in comparison to someone else. I think I need a break, if everything goes right, I’d be back and it’s better to skip as I won’t be able to study or to come any remotely near of passing the exams. Anyways, hope you do well and all the best. Hope to see you soon.’
I never laughed when he wrote, ‘charm’. He had not aadded any closure lines or anything which seems like a professional mail so, I was sure that it was him writing his first person to person mail.

Days turned into months, then a whole year was gone and Frank was seen nowhere.

Phone was ringing and I remembered, it was my phone. It was Frank’s dad who called me up.

“Am I speaking to Drake?” He asked.
“Yes, uncle.” I replied.
“I’m Frank’s dad.” He stopped.
“Yes, I had your number in my contacts.” I replied
“I, I want to, I need you to come to my place.” was all he said after struggling with a few words.

I told him that I was coming and left for Frank’s home instantly. It was morning, 9 O’Clock when I reached a street with crowd gathered outside a house building, it was Frank’s home. I rushed inside to find his dad and after he discovered me first he came close and told me without struggling this time that Frank was dead. He wanted to know if I had any clue, and I had nothing but tears to shed.

Over a long period of investigation many things were yet to be discovered. I was drown away by many thoughts, he was my best friend and a very bright student, I cried but that was not all, I wanted to know that how it had happened. His dad later informed me that policemen said he jumped off a suicide point, it was not all, he’d taken hallucinatory drug known as LSD to overcome the pain and any emotional string attached that might have stopped him, it was given to people in 60’s, many people took it when they were about to die of something painful like cancer. He injected the drug to find courage as the thoughts of his family wouldn’t have let him to do anything like that. I was also not able to understand that, was it too bad? Was it worth that act? It was just a breakup and he’d became absolutely normal in a few days, was he out of his mind completely? Or was it really a suicide? As Frank’d never done drugs, it was hard to believe, but apparently like his first mail, he did something else for the first time, too, as I’d already said, there’s a first time for everything so, nothing should practically shock you actually.

Yes, he would have become absolutely normal if he had any vision that it was still so much of love left in him and someone more deserving should’ve had it. But you never know, I never know and no one else might ever figure it out that to what level he had that feeling for Lucy, and we all know that if you fall from 1st floor, it doesn’t hurt that bad, but if the same is in the case of 40th floor, well, you won’t survive. He was left, betrayed, under pain and without any support as he never shared anything with anyone so, it might have made him to feel useless and left off, which he wasn’t, no one is. Luckily, Lucy didn’t get any heartbreak or did anything stupid like Frank, she just moved on and stayed without any guilt maybe until she was left by Billy. I was all lost in the thoughts, but Jane took care of me and I am now out of that hangover kind of feeling, but I still miss him, he was just like a sibling to me.

All I can figure out is that when we decide to do something, we shouldn’t instantly become selfish, we must think about the people who are going to get effected. If Frank had thought about his dad who is running out of money now, he wouldn’t have done that. If Frank had thought about his mother who is still in shock after 5 years and don’t talk to anyone but herself, he wouldn’t have done that. If Lucy had thought about him just once, he wouldn’t have done that, even the thought of doing it wouldn’t have arrived at the very first place and later, she need not had to go through any guilt, doesn’t matter if guilt stays for a year or a second, it’s the worst feeling in the world. Frank’s parents are now on their own as he was their only child, I myself, moved to New York from the Bristol, UK, after a year of that incident.

Love requires one to be tough. Keep a margin of getting ditched, if you fail to remain strong or falls in a miserably truthful love, you would surely die out soon or later, physically or emotionally, doesn’t matter.

Frank wished me before going, and it worked like a charm that he always had. I scored among top five, which he always did and I never. All that might feel disgusting at the end but c’est la vie.


Author- Vishal Kumar Gaur
E-mail– vishalgaur789@gmail.com

The Blackmail- Crime that you can but you may not prevent

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Where Harry first saw him, Harry stood there for a while checking that old man as he walked towards his apartment and looking here and there before unlocking the door. When his eyes caught Harry, he locked the door back again and shouted, “you son of a bitch don’t you have any work, dare you come to the street again and I’ll kill you”.

It stunned Harry and he ran back towards his home and vowed to never go towards apartment number 21 at 7 street when the old man is around.

I looked into the clock which was knocking at 7:00am and got up to take a bath and sat down to read newspaper after that.

13th June 1971, Bristol Times, London.
A mysterious killing shocked the city last night, a killer went on killing 4 people in a family and only a 3 year old child survived who was sleeping at the time of incident. Detective Robson and his team are still not able to find any clue on the incident which took place at the apartment number 13 on 7 street…

I stood up to leave for my office at Bristol near the Bristol Grammar School where Harry studied. I once caught him doing drugs and never allowed him to do so again. He became friend of mine as he was a bit scared of me as a detective and informed me of any drug activities on school which brought me to the peak of newspaper headlines which says A young detective Stefan Robson cleaned up drug Mafia saving thousands of children. It pleased me but also made me realise how genuine this boy Harry is.

Harry told me about that strange old man and I researched on him just to end up with a broken script that he is about 46 years old and was fired from a mill because he beaten a co worker with iron rod when he was 30 which was enough to lock him behind the bars for 15 years and is now unemployed. It was strange that he drove his own old Bugatti without earning a single penny.

“Any proceedings Mr. Robson?”
“Not actually sir, I’m still studying the details”, I replied to a Commander in Chief who was specially brought to Bristol from London for this brutal murder mystery killing a lady, her husband, their 9 year old daughter and a 7 year old son. Third child was secured but due to him being just 3 year old and yet to be named, he was brought no further in scene and was sent in care of an NGO.

Blood stains, knife without any finger print, floor without a boot print except that of family members, no hair strings which could be used for DNA detection.
This was what I got in hand with this case and was left without a choice but to sit and think.

“He leaves with his Bugatti every night at eight and maybe he return at midnight as I never saw him coming back but saw his Bugatti well parked every morning when I leave for the school. Well my dad have got a transfer see I’ve my air tickets”, Harry swung his hand in joy at me with the air tickets and went running inside the school building.

Enough for being a suspect I guess? I started following the old man named Justin Kutcher

He hits the Malooni Bar every night and then disappears, he returned via taxi to drive his Bugatti back home at 1:00am and it continued every night. He was smart but not enough to fool a detective.

I caught his glance moving into the back hall and running out of the window oh Malooni Bar. I followed him and found him purchasing drugs from a street paddler, then he went on doing drugs and later I got to see him walking into a hotel with a street prostitute. Hotel Zingo’s manager informed me he came there every night since 2 years. That’s the time he is been out of the bars.

So the suspect number one somehow managed to prove him strange but not guilty. My next suspect was a serial killer David Walter whose activities went unnoticed after he was out of the bars.
I followed him too, and found him stealing in a shop on the point of knife in front of my eyes but when I went closer he ran away after swiftly rushing that knife around the shopkeeper which would’ve killed him if I was not there for the rescue but saving him caused me to loose Walter as he disappeared.

I studied the killings Walter did,

Killed 3 in a family, raped the daughter and killed her afterwards.
Killed two orphans of a family after raping each of them.

It sounded more a lust and pervert sort of case which was the only difference as the present case did not report and molestation.
Abducted a girl from street just to kill her and later went her home to kill all her family.

This one actually stunned me as he didn’t attempt any rape in this case, he was just fond of killing and in his case, whole family becomes the victim.

In the third case he left a 6 months child alive which bought me in attention.

He was staying in Hotel Royal with the name of Franklin Ambrose, a retired firefighter. But his age made the receptionist to suspect and he called my office when he found the identity a bit strange. There was only one retired Franklin Ambrose in air force who was still alive and was living his last days in London. I called my Chief and said, “the case is closed”
We arrested the killer and I was again in the news.

I was relaxed until I got a call from Harry this morning.

“Sir, his Bugatti is not parked but the door is open, though I didn’t proceed as I’m scared of him like hell”, Harry spoke quickly and hung up.

Later that day, we charged David for an attempt to murder and stealing, arrested Justin Kutcher for the murder of whole family and apologised the civilians and government for initial faults.
What surprised everyone was that I arrested a hotel receptionist for hiding the evidences.
“How did you get that point? Anyone being at your place would have assumed the case to be closed and had never given a second thought to it,” said the Chief.

“This anyone is Robson sir, Stefan Robson,” I smiled and left the office.

I left a note for Chief to understand what had happened which he took with him and read after he was at London.

19th June 1971
From Stefan Robson
To the Chief Commander.

A boy who is a BGS student informed me on this morning that the door of apartment number 21 at 7 street is unlocked but the owner’s car wasn’t seen since the night. Owner was my prime suspect in the case named Justin Kutcher, I inquired to find out that he was out of the bars just two years back as he attempted to kill his co worker at mill. Later I found him strange but not guilty as I followed him 2 nights after he left home at 2000 hours for Malooni Bar and slipped away for returning via taxi at 1220 hours to drive his car back home by 1000 hours. Next night I saw followed him more strongly and saw him purchasing drugs and entering Zingo Hotel with a prostitute and taking taxi back to Malooni for driving his car back home so I thought he might have done some awful drugs that caused him not returning back this morning. I then studied the second suspect which was now my prime suspect, David Walter. His way of murdering matched with the scene and I saw him attempting a murder at shop so it cleared my mind on one thing that his will for murdering people is still there, he became a strong victim when I arrested him and he said that he committed the crime. Which later proved to be wrong as he accepted it just because he loved to be in relationship with murders. Justin saw me following him and he hid under the backdoor carriage of Malooni and slipped into a taxi when he saw me going out, he paid the driver enough sum that he agreed to drive him away and back to the bar after few hours where I saw him driving Bugatti back to home. Later he lured me to follow him the next night and created the whole story of drugs, prostitute and Hotel Zingo, he paid the receptionist of Zingo for giving me wrong information which I considered to be correct. When I reached Kutcher’s apartment I saw a diary on his desk which contained information of Robin Jason, the man who was murdered with his family. I came to know from the diary that Jason was the mill worker whom Kutcher assaulted. Kutcher later told me that Jason was blackmailing him as he filed forged documents to claim the property of his father which states “every penny will go to orphanage trust if my son is discovered with any criminal records”. Kutcher knew that a serial killer would be a soft suspect so he murdered the whole family just like David did as Kutcher strongly studied his cases for a year. I later found an opened envelope with every word scratched and teared but I called Bristol airlines as soon as I saw it. I saw that envelope in the hand of that BGS boy which was enclosing his air tickets. Bristol airlines told me its for only flight added this week which flies out of the country and according to the time they told, I still had an hour to catch the Kutcher. When Kutcher saw me, he said “you are a great detective I never thought in my dreams that you’d catch up with my incomplete clue”. He left it to tease me. What’s next, the case is closed forever.

Regards.

I was about to leave when my phone rang.

“You are great Officer Stefan Robson,” I heard the voice of Chief.
“Thank you sir, and sorry to say but I’ve to leave, a murder has been reported,” I replied.
“They don’t need me this time, soon murders won’t happen when the criminal minds starts to become aware of the fear of detective Robson of Bristol” he said.
“Kutcher was just a medium sir, BLACKMAIL killed them” I said and hung up the phone before leaving.


Written and published by
Vishal Gaur