In my opinion, our compassion is best when it embraces all sentient beings.

Reasons:

1.) Our suffering is all the same whether we’re good or bad.
2.) At best, suffering does the world no good, and at the worst, it makes the world worse for everyone
3.) Ultimately, the “bad people” are like victims of their circumstances- this is not to say we have no choice, but our choices are often influenced by various factors, our mental health, our life circumstances, our upbringing, our culture,  our privilege or lack of… and sometimes without us fully realizing the consequences or that we have other options. I don’t believe that under the best circumstances, anyone would essentially choose to be a terrible person.
4.) Our own minds are more peaceful when we wish others well.

This post is inspired by all the (understandable) enthusiasm I have been seeing about Donald Trump’s medical condition and all the wishes that more bad things happen to him.

I don’t believe he can be rehabilitated. I believe he’s a bad person and that there’s no hope for him. I am not one of those loving people who believe everyone is truly good and that everyone can be rehabilitated with lots of love and care. I think Donald Trump was born with the predisposition for being a “bad person.”

His condition reminds me of my condition, but mine is not serious. It can be painful but is not life or health threatening. I have jugular vein insufficiency and insufficiency of a few other veins in my neck because of an obstruction in my head. The obstruction is also not life threatening. The blood leaving my brain to go to my heart through these veins, can’t get there because of the veins being impinged on. So, the blood backs up into my head. Many veins are all doing the same job, so it doesn’t matter. It’s harmless. The blood is still getting to my heart. 

I have recurring unbearable headaches associated with it, though. The headaches are 10/10 pain, at least within their own context. I guess when compared to some other kinds of pain, they would be less than 10 on a pain level scale. But like within the context of headaches. They bring me to the floor. I have been bedridden for days sometimes. I think it’s the obstruction itself that causes the headaches, not the vein insufficiency or blood backing up. That can cause severe pain, too, though, among many other things. When I have these headaches or think of them, my empathy for others becomes boundless.

Mine doesn’t cause swelling, but you can see the jugular vein bulging out of my neck. I had to have scans a couple of years ago to see why it was suddenly protruding and so prominent. The doctors were concerned it could be a blood clot somewhere causing it. But it turned out to be nothing serious. I convinced myself I was dying and had six months left to live (certain kinds of cancer can cause it to bulge, and when it’s to that point, the average person only lives around six months. I convinced myself I had that), and my heart rate and blood pressure were through the roof in a doctor’s office. They had to tell me to calm down and to stay off Google 😆 

I don’t want him as President, he’s absolutely repulsive. He has no redeeming qualities. None.
But I don’t wish him or anyone to be sick. I don’t believe anyone deserves to be sick any more than I do. We are all equal in our suffering and in our comfort. The goodness or lack of it in us, is irrelevant in this context. If Donald Trump was afflicted with one of my headaches, he would suffer the same as me. All sentient beings essentially want to live and be healthy. We all suffer the same. The headaches this brings me, I would wish on absolutely no one. I literally cannot bear the mere thought of someone else, even him, enduring what I do when a headache hits. 

I believe the world would be a significantly better place if everyone was happy (not at the expense of others, but sincerely happy) & healthy. It’s people who are unhappy and hurt who hurt others. Happy, well rounded, people don’t go around tormenting anyone else. There are absolutely people who get off on hurting others (he’s one of them), it makes them happy. But that’s not genuine happiness, it’s happiness that often relieves whatever unhappiness that afflicts them. If they were genuinely happy, they would not inflict pain upon others.

Most of us have probably experienced this on a lesser scale, like for example, when we’re in a bad mood so we get snippy with someone when it’s not warranted. It’s displaced anger or annoyance. We may not usually do this, even when unhappy, but most of us have probably more than once been less than kind, when in a bad mood, to someone who did not deserve it. These people, though, live a life of that because they are always unhappy and are the kind of people who want others to suffer, too.

I don’t believe that everyone is basically good. But I think their lack of goodness is the result of their own suffering. Some people are born (and maybe upbringing often plays a part, but I think they have inherent or genetic inclination for it to begin with) never developing basic human abilities/emotions, like the ability for empathy and compassion. This does not result in true happiness. It results in the desire to hurt others, it brings them a superficial happiness. Donald Trump hurts everyone. And he gets off on it. He loves it. But we see he’s not a happy person. 

Why do we think bitter, miserable people often insist on hurting others? Because it brings them relief or pleasure. They are seeking what we all seek. It’s just for them, their suffering influences it.

Wishing further suffering on them has no practical benefits. If anything, it only serves to perpetuate their abuse as their own suffering is the source of it anyway, and it doesn’t make our own mind any more positive or loving. It may bring us a moment of satisfaction again & again. But I don’t think it has any real value. At least wishing others well has potential to bring us inner peace, and then we’re more likely to interact positively with others.

Not all seemingly terrible people really are. Unlike Donald Trump, some can change. It’s dependent on the reason they are how they are.

I believe that if we were all given the choice before being born, to be a good and happy person or a bad and suffering person who goes to great lengths to inflict that suffering upon others, all of us would have chosen to be happy and healthy and good and someone who wishes that for every other being as well. Ultimately, no one chooses to be what Donald Trump is. Yes, he chooses to do bad things within the confines of the existence he was given. He’s a despicable person. Nothing changes that. But I don’t believe for a second that he would have chosen this if the uni-verse gave him a choice when he was still a “clean slate” if ever he even was. He was born suffering or was brought up to suffer, and now he wants the rest of us to suffer along with him.

Some people’s suffering inspires deeper empathy for others, but for others, it doesn’t, it has the opposite effect and inhibits empathy instead. 

As the cliche goes, “Hurt people, hurt people.”

Suffering begets more suffering. 

This doesn’t mean we always have to speak warm & kindly to everyone. Sometimes, people have to be told off & judged harshly and not get what they want. Some people need a firm ass kicking. It just means we don’t have to wish suffering upon them.

I believe it does no good to wish pain & suffering on others.

I wish he was happy & healthy and not born a psychopath. Me wishing that does no practical good either, though. But I think the world would be better and most of us more peaceful if more of us wished good things on people instead of bad.

People have countered my sentiment, saying anger & hatred fuel us to act for good. While that is sometimes true, compassion & love can fuel us just the same. Anger & hatred feel unpleasant and can get out of control and influence us to do things that are destructive to ourselves and others. Love & compassion can never go wrong. As I said, it doesn’t necessarily have to be warm and sappy and “feel good” feelings. It can be firm & harsh but still love. When anger & hatred frequently consume us, it leads to stress, depression, anxiety, physical ailments. When compassion & love consume us, it only leads to good.

I have wished bad things on people before, and I probably will again. But that’s not the philosophy I hold, it’s when I give into raw emotion that I allow to overtake me and blind me. I always find my way back to me, the authentic me who knows the truth, that wishing suffering on others isn’t the way.

If I could, I would flip a switch and turn all the suffering in the world off, even for “bad people.” I would in a heartbeat. 

Think about it, there must be higher love
Down in the heart or hidden in the stars above
Without it, life is a wasted time
Look inside your heart, I’ll look inside mine
Things look so bad everywhere
In this whole world, what is fair?
We walk blind, and we try to see
Falling behind in what could be

Bring me a higher love
Bring me a higher love
Bring me a higher love
Where’s that higher love I keep thinking of?

Higher Love – Steve Winwood

Xoxo Kim ❤️