“The Power of a Woman comes not from the strength of her body or the shrewdness of her resolve, but in the beauty of her heart, her mind, and her soul. A simple look can brighten the darkest hour. Her touch can warm the coldest of days. Her smile can intoxicate you. Her words can give wealth that the richest man would covet.” ~ Troy White
“Anyone who says they have only one life to live must not know how to read a book.” ~Author Unknown
I love old things. Very old things. Used. Worn things. Especially books. Old books are beautiful. Not just the content but the physical oldness (lol) of them. The fading covers, the crisp yellowing pages, the broken spines with loose pages….everything….
“A good book on your shelf is a friend that turns its back on you and remains a friend.” ~Author Unknown
I prefer old books over new books. In college I used to intentionally buy used books. And unlike most students the main reason wasn’t the reduced prices. It was because I loved that someone had it before me. I loved the highlights and little side notes in the margins. Sometimes I found them helpful but mostly I just loved seeing what people wrote and highlighted, knowing someone previously walked the journey before me. In high school I loved seeing the years and names listed on the back covers, especially when the years listed aren’t even of the same decade I had the book.
“You know you’ve read a good book when you turn the last page and feel a little as if you have lost a friend.” ~Paul Sweeney
I remember sitting in class laughing with other students as we looked at our textbooks at the list of names next to years long gone, and talked about how students used those very same books in years that we weren’t even yet thought of.
The more tattered, marked up, the better.
“A book must be an ice-axe to break the seas frozen inside our soul.” ~Franz Kafka
“Lord! when you sell a man a book you don’t sell just twelve ounces of paper and ink and glue – you sell him a whole new life. Love and friendship and humour and ships at sea by night – there’s all heaven and earth in a book, a real book.” ~Christopher Morley
Old books.
One of the things I love most about them is the fact that through the years and decades they have been touched. Touched by various people, various lives, various breaths, the pages flipped by the fingers of people I’ll never meet. Words, concepts, sentences, comprehended by brains I’ll never know, books held in the arms of people who lived through years long gone. A world gone away. I wonder at the fact that the very books I hold in my hands were once part of someone else’s life. Someone who lived over ninety years ago.
I imagine my touch embracing the touch of people who felt the pages I feel now. My fingerprints lacing with old fingerprints that may still be on the surfaces, forever etched upon the yellowing pages before me.
I imagine the wonder that may have surged through curious brains long ago while devouring the words, tears that may have caressed the pages at night, thoughts that pondered the content, emotions that swirled like magic, giggles that echoed through the air, sadness, happiness, joy, and fascination that breathed while people read, felt, and cherished the books that are still around today.
I always loved the idea of old things. Old, beautiful things, used things that previously blessed the lives of various people, before making it into someone else’s hands.
“The smallest bookstore still contains more ideas of worth than have been presented in the entire history of television.” ~Andrew Ross
And I don’t just love literal old things but even modern or new things made to look or seem old, things with an old feel to them. A nostalgic, reminiscent tinge. I love modern books which take place way long ago. Just lovely.
“Fiction reveals truths that reality obscures.” ~Jessamyn West
I recently realized I have a few very old books. There’s this used bookstore in Center City, Philadelphia called “Book Traders” and I love it! Especially the personal development, philosophy, and Psychology sections.
Sometimes I just grab a whole armfull of books that seem appealing to me. I found that I have a few very old ones, a couple 1940 ones and one 1913, and one 1920 one. And probably more laying around somewhere. I have so many books and online books on the Kindle, links, and pdfs that I don’t get around to reading them all yet and some I forget about until coming across them later.
I bought none of these books because of the age but because I find the subjects genuinely interesting but I’m sure if I saw a super old, inexpensive book somewhere with a topic I care nothing about, I would purchase it “just because.” lol
I found one last night in my dresser I never knew I have til now! I found myself giggling because it’s an American History book that was published in 1912 and updated in 1913. It’s faded, yellowed, crisp, and falling apart somewhat but still in great condition for a book of that age. Most of the pages are not falling out. It’s funny because so so so much has happened involving the U.S. Since then and it’s interesting to see it so incomplete. It’s funny to think how important that book was back then but how useless in an educational context, it is now. It’s so underdeveloped. It’s difficult to explain in words. It just seems so simple next to now. Our President Taft was president back then. And our President Wilson.
I know in 100 years though, when someone picks up one of our history books now, it will be so incomplete. So useless, educationally. And there will be new history books packed with so much more than we can imagine right now. Maybe in years to come, in the way distant future, someone somewhere will hold one of my books in her hands and giggle, her fingerprints joining mine on crisp, yellowing pages.
Anyway I been thinking about it a lot today and it reminded me of another book I read. A book I planned to write about here but never have yet. A breathtakingly beautiful but devastatingly heartbreaking novel. Published in the 70’s, It takes place in Ohio during the years just after the “Great Depression.” It’s called “The Bluest Eye” and is written by author, Toni Morrison. It’s about a little girl, Pecola, and how she struggles with self-esteem/self-worth issues because of the way society treats African American people. She’s an African American girl, around eleven years old, who desperately desires blue eyes. African American girls were often made to feel less beautiful than white girls and it was ingrained into them that blue eyes and light skin are worth more than dark eyes and dark skin. I know some of that sentiment still lingers today and it’s very real and detrimental to those who are affected by it.
Then this little girl suffers a serious tragedy.
It’s heartbreaking that throughout her whole life she suffered unjust racial discrimination and also her peers, even ones of her own ethnicity, excluded her. In the book, she’s considered to be less than beautiful, not just because of her skin/eye color but all of her features. And her family isn’t very well liked by the community people.
All she wants is love and acceptance and a feeling of being worthy. And no one gives her this or helps her see her true beauty. She is convinced that a pair of blue eyes will give her meaning and beauty.
And she’s convinced that it’s possible for her brown eyes to turn blue.
Her family struggles financially and also with domestic violence.
There’s a scene in a candy store where this sweet little girl wants candy and she’s afraid to ask. She knows the man won’t care for her. He’s rude and abrupt and impatient and treats her as if she’s nothing. It’s heartwrenching.
It’s amazing how the absolutely brilliant author, Toni Morrison, portrays the characters, so real and has the ability to convey the depth of the emotions and feelings experienced by them.
Throughout the book, I felt that I was able to identify so strongly with the characters in some ways. I wasn’t alive in the 1940’s, I’m not a child, have never experienced discrimination based on my race, and although I have experienced financial difficulties, occasionally, it’s not to the degree that this little girl’s family experiences it in the book. They are practically living on the streets sometimes. I can’t possibly know what most of those things are like. But the author is able to reach through all that and poignantly convey the very basic humanness of the little girl, Pecola, and the other characters. She conveys the longings and the needs, the heartache and suffering. The kind that is felt to some degree, at some point, by most living humans.
So many things struck me while reading. Like how sometimes our comfort zones are more comforting to us than the unusual even when our comfort zones are painful, chaotic, destructive, horrifying, and miserable. Even when the unusual is more sane and calm than our traumatic but familiar routines. Sometimes we can’t handle being out of our comfort zones or usual routines and become restless for what we have always known. Sometimes when all is quiet and calm and serene, we may find ourselves not only yearning to go back to what we know but actually intentionally bringing on trauma and drama and horror just because it’s what we’re used to, and actually finding some kind of twisted comfort in it even though we don’t want it and it’s not good for us. The chaos, the pain, the trauma and drama somehow fills a sense of emptiness in us that the lack of it all creates.
There’s so much in this novel I believe most of us can identify with in some ways no matter what decade we grew up in, no matter our skin color or culture, class status, financial situations, age, or any situations….
It’s beautifully and poetically written. It inspires me. The lady who wrote it is mind-blowingly understanding, empathetic, and amazing at writing it. When I say empathetic and understanding I’m not merely talking about compassion and caring. That too but I’m referring to an even deeper ability to get into the heads of certain kinds of people, create characters in ways that are so very realistic.
She gets in the heads of perverts, sexual predators, bullies, prostitutes…and portrays the human side. She writes of the awkward, painful, uncomfortable aspects of life and brings to life the characters who are responsible for the devastation and the people they impact.
She depicts their monstrous sides but also their human sides. She tugs at our heartstrings, seemingly tempting us to feel for these characters, to see their humanness, their basic, essential, marred innocence, daring us to identify with them in some ways. But never justifying their atrocities.
Her writing is beautiful. In an astounding way.
There’s a character in the novel who is a pervert. He’s mentioned earlier in the book but readers don’t know yet at that point that he’s really a pervert so I won’t mention this character’s name to avoid spoilers. I’m going to quote some things about him out of this book after readers find that he’s one. So in case you haven’t read the book and are reading this, planning to read it, I will not write his name.
The quotes here won’t give too much away but if you don’t want to know then I would recommend you stop reading here. I’m not giving the ending away or any big shockers or anything.
I find the description of the pervert to be very beautiful even though it’s dark and awkward and uncomfortable, and to some people, quite disturbing.
Lines taken out of “The Bluest Eye” by Toni Morrison:
“Once there was an old man who loved things, for the slightest contact with people produced in him a faint but persistent nausea. He could not remember when this distaste began, nor could he remember ever being free of it. As a young boy he had been greatly disturbed by this revulsion which others did not seem to share, but having got a fine education, he learned among other things, the word ‘misanthrope.’ Knowing his label provided him with both comfort and courage, he believed that to name an evil was to neutralize if not annihilate it. Then, too, he had read several books and made the acquaintance of several great misanthropes of the ages, whose spiritual company soothed him and provided him with yardsticks for measuring his whims, his yearnings, and his antipathies. Moreover, he found misanthropy an excellent means of developing character: when he subdued his revulsion and occasionally touched, helped, counseled, or befriended somebody, he was able to think of his behavior as generous and his intentions as noble. When he was enraged by some human effort or flaw, he was able to regard himself as discriminating, fastidious, and full of nice scruples.”
&
“All his life he had a fondness for things – not the acquisition of wealth or beautiful objects, but a genuine love of worn objects: a coffee pot that had been his mother’s, a welcome mat from the door of a rooming house he once lived in, a quilt from a Salvation Army store counter. It was as though his disdain of human contact had converted itself into a craving for things humans had touched. The residue of the human spirit smeared on inanimate objects was all he could withstand of humanity. To contemplate, for example, evidence of human footsteps on the mat – absorb the smell of the quilt and wallow in the sweet certainty that many bodies had sweated, slept, dreamed, made love, been ill, and even died under it. Wherever he went, he took along his things, and was always searching for others. This thirst for worn things led to casual but habitual examinations of trash barrels in alleys and wastebaskets in public places….
All in all, his personality was arabesque: intricate, symmetrical, balanced, and tightly constructed – except for one flaw. The careful design was marred occasionally by rare but keen sexual cravings.”
&
“He abhorred flesh on flesh. Body odor, breath odor, overwhelmed him. The sight of dried matter in the corner of the eye, decayed or missing teeth, earwax, blackheads, moles, blisters, skin crusts – all the natural excretions and protections the body was capable of – disquieted him.”
I just love these descriptions. The beauty, the concepts, the words, the substance. And you don’t have to be a creepy pervert or a misanthrope to appreciate the simple human aspects of life, the residual human touches, footprints on a doormat, an old coffeepot that someone else’s coffee was made in long ago, scents that linger on objects, a blanket that comforted someone through the night, a typewriter that someone else’s fingers created a masterpiece with….even the dark parts and the bodily descriptions are beautiful. They are part of life.
I know many people are totally, utterly grossed out by the thought of many people touching one thing and touching what countless strangers have touched. It probably makes some people’s heart skip and not in a good way. But I just find it beautiful.
I wish I could tell little Pecola that she’s beautiful. She IS beautiful. Her brown eyes, her dark skin, her innocent ways…everything. She’s beautiful just as she is. She doesn’t need blue eyes or fair skin. She’s perfect the way she is. I wish I could embrace her and tell her she’s beautiful in and out. All little girls and women should be encouraged to feel beautiful and worthy and encourage other girls to feel beautiful and important as well.
I wish I could have been in that candy store to help her pick out her candy and inspire her to be a happy, innocent little girl filled with joy just looking at the candy. Just like little girls should feel.
I found myself shattered by this novel. Beautifully shattered.
Characters in fiction aren’t real in our world but they do exist in the worlds of books, stories, writings, movies, in the brains and imaginations of all the gifted authors/writers.
And they are real in some strange sense.
I strongly recommend it to anyone who loves novels, drama, profound messages and depth and beauty in writing.
“A good book has no ending.” ~R.D. Cumming
There’s another book I read and wrote about here called “314” Book II in a trilogy and in the book one girl is able to put her hands on any object and see everything that previously happened involving that object, even years ago. She can touch a pen and see who else touched it and she can touch walls and see all that happened within the confines of those walls. It’s overwhelming so she keeps her hands in her pockets a lot. I don’t believe in psychic stuff like that but I love the concept. It reminds me of life all around and how some parts of us still remain on the objects we touch and live on long after we do.
“Always read something that will make you look good if you die in the middle of it.” ~P.J. O’Rourke
(LOL!)
It reminds me of all the mundane things we take for granted, all the simple things that make up our lives every single day. The things. Things that contain our breaths, fingerprints, scents, particles, sweat, tears, imprints…..
“My test of a good novel is dreading to begin the last chapter.” ~Thomas Helm
“I adore the feeling of being completely taken in by a book. When the tears of joy or sadness wet your cheeks. When you snort with laughter in a crowd and when you shout at the pages in anger.” ~ Unknown
Xoxo Kim
” Not how did she die, but how did she live?
Not what did she gain, but what did she give?
These are the units to measure the worth
Of a man as a man, regardless of birth.
Not, what was her church, nor what was her creed?
But had she befriended those really in need?
Was she ever ready, with word of good cheer,
To bring back a smile, to banish a tear?
Not what did the sketch in the newspaper say,
But how many were sorry when she passed away. ”
~Unknown
I saw this quote in a book and I love it! To me, it rings so true. For many of us, the first thing we think when we hear a person has died, even when we never knew that person is, “How did s/he die!?”. That’s our morbid curiosity. There’s nothing wrong with that. But what’s more important than that is how the person lived. I don’t want to think about or dwell on the tragic or sad circumstances of someone’s death. I want to bask in the wonder, love, beauty, and glory of that person’s life and the imprint the life of that person leaves on this Earth with all of us who still live. Even if I never knew that person, I can still be impacted by the life s/he lived.
Have you ever read an online memorial or an obituary in the newspaper for a person who died? While very sad, it can be quite inspiring. Try reading an obituary or online memorial for a stranger and the comments written by those who are grieving and all those caring people who lavish sympathy on the bereaved and the dead. But instead of letting your morbid curiosity take over searching for clues of the causes of death, focus on the details of how that person lived.
Look at the smile on that person’s face in pictures if you can and feel the words written about the person. Look at how that person touched many, many other lives and made people smile, contributed positively to the community in which s/he lived, embraced family & friends, provided kindness to strangers, made people laugh, loved others
…
This is a great honor to the person and a wonderful gift to the family and friends to have the one they love who is now gone, still affecting the world for the better.
There are so many amazing people, alive and dead. They all deserve to be known, loved, remembered, honored, and acknowledged.
I saw a blog topic recently “What would you want your obituary to say? “. I haven’t completed this as a blog entry but I thought about the concept.
I wouldn’t want mine to just state how I died, how much money I got for working, and other basic details. I would love for it to describe how I was able to brighten people’s days, make them smile, how I loved animals and people and cared for everyone whether I knew them or not. And how I would always be aware of the simple joys of living. I hope that’s how people view me. That’s who I want to be.
Think about how you live. Is it really important how financially rich you are, how many expensive material possessions you have, how many work promotions you achieve, how many school degrees you can obtain, how big your house is, how new your car is, if you have the latest fashion accessories or phone….?
Or does it matter more how you help people, how you listen to people, how you love people, what you contribute to the world around you, how happy you are with the you inside, how living creatures are touched by your life, how full your heart is….?
You may or may not have an advanced school degree or a well respected, good paying job, you may or may not be extremely intelligent, maybe you don’t have much money or a great house or car or anything much but is your heart full of love? Do your veins throb with life? Do you provide consolation, love, and friendship to those in need? That’s all that really matters!
It doesn’t matter what your religion is or if you are religious or not. It doesn’t matter what your skin color or sexual orientation or gender or gender identity is. Your nationality and ethnicity do not matter for how much you are worth. I’m not saying those above things do not matter in certain situations or for how you are treated sometimes, I’m saying they do not make you worth more or worth less. Or worthy or deserving of more or of less.
Think about how you live and how you want to live. And I hope you find deep within you the things you know are important and are able to abandon the things you know are not.
I hope you are having a beautiful night or day wherever you are at this moment.
Xoxo Kim
“By being yourself, you put something wonderful in the world that was not there before”~ Edwin Elliot.
“Don’t cheat the world of your contribution. Give it what you’ve got.” –Steven Pressfield
“You can be greater than anything that can happen to you.” ~Norman Vincent Peale
Here is a disorganized, beautiful wreck of my thoughts on how pain can be our motivation and inspiration.
And how we can bring more joy and happiness into our world.
I have a wildly, passionate, pulsating desire, longing, need to help others help themselves heal whatever pain they are experiencing. I want people to empower themselves and overcome whatever restraints may be holding them back and making them not live fully and passionately and happily. And.
I hope that you who are reading this can find something that is useful to you and use it to help yourself and even share with others to help them.
I believe any negative experience that rips us apart, breaks us, steals a part of us that we feel we can never reclaim, swindles our days, months, and/or years, saps our strength, even threatens our sense of personal identity, no matter how painful, no matter how agonizing can turn out to be the catalyst for change for the better. It can give us the opportunity to better ourself, rebuild ourself to stand even stronger than before that pain and destruction.
And for me, the way to allow this painful experience to give way to positive change and the opportunity to rebuild and strengthen myself is to cultivate and maintain a general confident, grateful, positive, “unstoppable” attitude. Stop at nothing. Be your own advocate. Know that you are worth it. Empower yourself. Whatever you experienced. Whatever you did. Wherever you were. You can change now for the better. You can move on and never look back except to see how much progress you have accomplished and bring the lessons you learned with you wherever you are now and wherever you will go. You are in control.
Deep inside you know what you need. What you want. Your heart’s truest longings and desires. Look deep within. Look around you. What draws you? What pulls you in? What captivates and awes you? What has you spellbound and fills you with wonder & inspiration? Is it a certain place? A certain career or job? A hobby or activity? Certain scenery or decorations? Certain colors or objects? A kind of person you want to be? A certain way of life? What do you see before you and feel in the quietude of your brain when you close your eyes and drown out all the clatter of everyday? What is swirling around and sparkling with chromatic winds in the otherwise dusty, gray, and stagnant recesses of your brain? Whatever it is, go for it, chase it until it’s your reality. You may not get it right away, maybe not even in the immediate future. But if it draws you and has you spellbound, it’s worth the sweat and the tears and the work and the dreaming. And don’t settle for anything less. Don’t settle for mediocre. Work for your best! Don’t be a zombie or a robot and just exist in an almost constant state of gray, monotony, BE ALIVE. Remember how you felt when you accomplished something amazing, maybe something you thought you maybe never could?
Remember that incredible thrill that you tapped into at some points in your life? A genuine thrill. Maybe when you finally graduated, or maybe when you gave birth to or adopted your child or adopted a new pet, or got your very first job or promotion or a new car or even just a new, amazing outfit or pair of shoes, maybe when you got accepted into a program or moved out on your own or got an A on a difficult exam…then the novelty wore off and you still loved those things/people but they’re no longer new, the thrill sort of dimmed a little.
And you may think you need big things to happen to feel that way again.
But the good news is you can learn to tap into that novel feeling, that thrill almost whenever you want over various things, big and simple things. You can get thrilled and inspired over small simple things by developing positive habits that will assist you in your quest to overcome your routine, monotonous ways. That’s not to say you will or should live everyday in complete ecstasy or mania but you can be thrilled and ecstatic more often and love the things you do! :-D. Stop to notice and appreciate the simple things. The morning dew drops on the tips of leaves, the veins of life running through the leaves and the ones running through you, your wrists, the vibrancy of the colors of the sky and flowers. The sounds that stroke your core, music, cars screeching in the streets, taste your food, mindfully, salty, sour, sweet, bitter. Deliciousness. Feel the textures of everything you touch. The softness of skin, the comfort of your blankets, your animal’s fur. And take in all the fragrances of life. Perfume, rain, mist, cookies or cupcakes baking, citrus or lavender. Appreciate and love and cherish your senses. Feel blessed and grateful for them. They are five of your greatest gifts. Five beautiful gifts that you probably overlook every single second of every single day, yet they are your greatest mechanisms for experiencing this world, this life. Make a habit of doing this more often and it will open you up to what feels like a brand new world, one of joy, awe, wonder, and inspiration.
Now back to your dreams…
You don’t even have to have it be one hundred percent clear to you right now exactly what you want and need; you can just have a basic idea and do some exploring in and around yourself.
You can read books, flip through magazine pages, visit places, browse clothing or knick knack aisles in stores, antiques or flea markets, read on the internet, engage in various activities to see what captures your heart, what you want to be yours, what you want to be you. Meditate. Focus on your source of life, your breath, don’t force any certain kind of breathing, just focus on the natural process. It may feel weird and unpleasant at first but you’ll get used to it. Try different things out to see if it’s for you.
And believe you have what it takes to eventually accomplish and realize this.
Maybe you want to graduate college and have a big, impressive career. Maybe you want to travel across the world, or maybe you want to take certain non-credited classes to learn to draw, sing, cook, sew, or take photographs. Overcome a health condition of any kind or exercise more. Or maybe you just want to learn how to decorate your house or be a better you all around. Whatever it is you will not grasp it, become it, live it if you don’t take the first steps and then the next and the next until you embrace it and it’s you.
We can’t all have everything we want. We have limitations. But just because we cannot have or accomplish a specific something does not mean we cannot accomplish something else we want or love. I love the idea of singing and wish I could but the truth is my voice is not a singing voice. Lol. And I would love to be able to draw beautifully but I usually cannot; it’s just my fantasy. But that doesn’t stop me so I cannot find something else that I love that can be my reality.
I have come to realize this through my quest to better myself and escape the grasp and bondage of Depression which I have grappled with since I was a young girl. I was 13 years old when it began. It would be severe flareups on top of lowergrade depression in the middle and every now and again, it would lift and I would be happy for a while then it would come back for weeks or months then happy again.
I was at the lowest depths of my despair when I finally realized my ONLY way is up. There was no other option for me that I would settle for. I refused to stay that way, refused to lose my life to the disease that has ravaged my brain for years,off and on. I wanted it to stop coming back. I knew true happiness. I was happy at every age along with having depression.
So I became my advocate and my hero, my nurturer, my own caregiver and I went to war over myself, for myself, and chose to stop. At nothing. Stop at nothing. Until I am where I want to be and I still choose not to stop. I am still going. Still going strong. I make this a life-long commitment. This was/is not always easy. But it is not all unpleasant. And is well worth it.
I get to watch myself grow, feel myself evolve. I see progression and light where I once saw darkness through myself imposed prison bars. And I help others along the way.
Depression has the tendency to extinguish the will to live and survive and it hinders motivation and inspiration and makes us believe we are not worth anything, like we’re not worth the struggle. But I let the pain inspire me and motivate me as difficult as it can be. I let the struggle itself be my motivation and inspiration. My pain is my motivation.
Through the eyes of depression, there is no motivation. There is no inspiration in anything. There’s no will. Through the lenses of depression at its most severe form, there’s often nothing that can motivate or inspire. No people, no activities, no jobs, no thoughts, no books. So what to do? Take the very pain itself, the LACK of motivation and inspiration and let that be THE motivation itself.
Depression took away everything I ever was when it would keep returning, but I took it back. I took myself back. I reclaimed my goddess within, my inner hero. I sparked my inner song, the one in my bones.
Take a look at your negative, self-limiting thoughts. Did you create them or did someone else program them into your head? Or did an experience instill them into you? Why are those thoughts bad for you? Are they good for anything other than bringing you down and causing you to hurt or suffer? If someone else programmed those useless, negative, life draining thoughts into your head, get them out now! They don’t belong there. No one but you belongs in that head of YOURS! Did someone tell you long ago, maybe as a child, or young adult, or maybe even recently, that you aren’t good enough or you aren’t beautiful and you have internalized it and carry it around with you til this day?
Reprogram those thoughts that do not serve you for the best. Practice. Practice. Practice. Un-install them and then install new, self affirming thoughts and beliefs. If you created these thoughts in your own head, why? (This is not a judgmental “why?”. I want you to think about how those thoughts may have served you somehow at one point but not anymore or maybe they never did.) What did they once mean for you? If they no longer or never have served a positive purpose for you, abandon them. And replace them with positive, tender, self-loving thoughts and beliefs that serve you well. Write them down. List them. Dwell on them. When you have a negative thought about yourself, counter it with three positive thoughts or more. Of course you have flaws or perceived flaws, who doesn’t? That’s no reason to verbally/mentally bash yourself no matter what is true or not. What do you WANT to think and believe about yourself as opposed to what you currently think and believe? Your opinion of yourself matters. Your negative thoughts about you are NOT irreplaceable. You CAN vanquish them and replace them. You are a sentient being. You can feel, think, and experience. You deserve your love and compassion. So bestow it upon yourself. It may not happen now or overnight but you can do this.
Whatever negative, painful experience(s) took a toll on you and coerced you into believing negative things about yourself and saying and thinking unpleasant and unnecessary criticism about you, take that experience and go the other way. Instead of looking at how it broke you or destroyed you, take a look at how it has the potential to gift you, to guide you, to energize you. To allow you to strengthen and rebuild yourself.
You may never completely get over the scars of a painful experience but you CAN get yourself better. Scars are ok even though they can be painful; they’re part of living. And they can remind you. of the battle you survived and won!
My depression was environmental & turned more like chronic later, lifting a while then coming back, having to do with certain situations and thoughts.
I have made a conscious decision to intentionally maintain a positive attitude/life even when it’s not easy, even when it nearly seems impossible. This doesn’t mean never having a negative thought; it doesn’t mean literally only having cheery thoughts and happy ideas. It means also handling negative thoughts, situations, and emotions in a healthy, positive, effective way. Like writing, reading, listening to music, therapy, arts & crafts, friends, talking, anything healthy, eliminating negativity when I can, knowing it’s only temporary. Knowing that happiness is often found within but factors outside the self like books, people, activities…can help bring it out and build on it. It would be absurd and dishonest to myself and others to claim I only have or even try to only have pure cheerful, happy thoughts and feelings. Lol. Not happening!
But I do more frequently than not try to keep my glass 99.9 % full! Lol. And I try not to complain unnecessarily. But venting is ok, even necessary every now and then. Negative thoughts and emotions are inevitable and it is important to express them in a healthy manner. I have a gratitude journal, a positive journal, and a positive outlook in general.
And I see how negative events and situations can be manipulated into positive energy whether that’s learning something through the experience, letting it strengthen and enlighten me, or using it to teach others. Or just letting it be a reminder and indication that I am in fact alive and life comes with difficult struggles & situations even through the immense beauty.
Since I am prone to bouts of severe depression I must work hard to keep up a positive outlook more than average so a normal low mood does not increment into full blown illness. But I want to help everyone, even those who have never personally known major depressive disorder. I believe everyone can benefit through the power of positive thinking and action.
When you do not know the impending outcome of something, try not to assume the worst. Why assume the worst when you can assume the best? You may be disappointed if you expect the best and the worst does happen but occasional disappointment to me is better than a gloomy life of expecting bad things frequently. Disappointment can be dealt with and handled. And think in your head that even if the worst does in fact happen, you can and WILL see it through and maybe even learn a few lessons. You can even let your negative and painful experiences be your motivation to get better, heal, and then help others who are now in the painful situation you were once in. You have a special qualification now that not everyone has. We do not have to go out purposefully looking for pain and wanting it just so we can learn; that is not my point. But it will occur at some points whether we want it or not and when it does we can & will grasp it, mold it, structure it, and use it to our advantage, NOT let it get the best of us. Make your pain and your negativity your bitch and use it! Lmao! Own it! ;-D
Don’t let it own you! It can bend you but don’t let it ever break you any longer. Look at it as a tool that you can use to structure and create something better. Be creative!
Be an active participant in and engage in your life. Let it be something that responds to you, not something that merely happens to you. Come alive, live, do not just exist. When you think positively, you are more likely to act positively and then attract positivity around you. There is great wisdom in positive thinking and the power of positive thinking will help you manifest the positive potential in your life.
And you can be amazed at the workings of the sparkling positivity and color in your world.
Positive thinking alone can help uplift you but it’s when it is in combination with positive actions that your brain will be infused with wisdom and light.
And for your endeavors to flourish, it’s best to have confidence in yourself and your actions. Know that you have choices and that you are capable. Know that negative moods and thoughts are not permanent; they are mutable. They fluctuate. So when you have negative thoughts and feelings, reprogram them by meditating on positive thoughts. Transform “I can’t” to “I Can!”. And with true practice you will get into the habit of confident positive thinking and have it develop in your way of life, entrenched throughout your being. You will live it. You will breathe it. You will be it.
Allow your motivation and your burning passion and desire to transcend your feelings of lack of confidence and your laziness or insecurity.
With this habit, positivity will come easier, naturally, and help dispel negativity. Observe your thoughts as they arise in your head. Look at each one and determine whether or not they can benefit you and if you can use them to your advantage. Will this thought lead to or help aid in your happiness & serenity or to sadness, fear, suffering? Be attentive to your thoughts. Be realistic. Don’t be delusional and set up unattainable, unrealistic goals for yourself; that can lead to unnecessary disappointment and working toward unattainable or unrealistic goals can feel like hopeless drudgery as opposed to feeling enthusiastic and happy and hopeful . (Example: don’t think you can become a billionaire over night; it’s extremely unlikely for almost ANYONE and don’t think you can lose 80 pounds in 24 hours, it’s probably not happening) Start out with smaller goals and steps. Know that things take a while and that you do have limitations. But be optimistic and know that that’s ok.
Let your brain be steeped in positive thoughts. Let go of negative ones; they are not you, you are not them. Be positive even if you cannot fulfill all of your desires. Don’t allow your happiness and positivity to be conditional. Things come and things go and if your happiness is based upon them and you lose them, you will be unhappy; your happiness will constantly falter.
We have a light, a way about us that no one else does. You may not realize this or always feel it or be able to identify it but it’s there. Just like your fingerprints, your unique DNA that you may take for granted and never even think about or realize the individuality of. You have a light that can burst into wild flares and luminous flecks that can sparkle on all those you touch. You are not a copy. You are the original. You are unlike anyone else. We are all similar in some ways and different in various ways. Your thoughts, ideas, creativity, your way of consoling and your friendship all have different angles, different pathways, different aspects and doorways than anyone else’s.
Take your light and let it shine on me. It will light me up like nothing else. <3. Your light can shine brighter than the sun and the moon. You never know, it may just be the stars in someone’s midnight sky.
❤
“Be miserable. Or motivate yourself. Whatever has to be done, it’s always your choice.” –Wayne Dyer
“The secret of health for both mind and body is not to mourn for the past, not to worry about the future, nor to anticipate troubles, but to live in the present moment wisely and earnestly.” –Buddha
“For true success, ask yourself these four questions: Why? Why not? Why not me? Why not now?” –James Allen
“At least three times every day take a moment and ask yourself: What is really important? Have the wisdom and the courage to build your life around your answer.” –Lee Jampolsky
“You and I are essentially infinite choice-makers. In every moment of our existence, we are in that field of all possibilities where we have access to an infinity of choices.” –Deepak Chopra
“What you are is what you have been, and what you will be is what you do now.” –Buddha
“Desire is the starting point of all achievement, not a hope, not a wish, but a keen pulsating desire which transcends everything.” –Napoleon Hill
“Don’t wish it were easier, wish you were better.” –Jim Rohn –Mark Twain
“The only man who never makes mistakes is the man who never does anything.” –
Theodore Roosevelt
“It is hard to fail, but it is worse never to have tried to succeed.” –Theodore Roosevelt
“Victory is always possible for the person who refuses to stop fighting.” –Napoleon Hill –Mike Ditka
“By being yourself, you put something wonderful in the world that was not there before.” ~Edwin Elliot
“There is so much love in your heart that you could heal the planet.”
~Louise Hay
“You are as amazing as you let yourself be. Let me repeat that. You are as amazing as you let yourself be.” ~Elizabeth Alraune
“If we really love ourselves, everything in our life works.” ~Louise Hay
“If you hear a voice within you say “you cannot paint,” then by all means paint, and that voice will be silenced.” ~Vincent Van Gogh
“Dreams are renewable. No matter what our age or condition, there are still untapped possibilities within us and new beauty waiting to be born.” ~Dale E. Turner
“It is never too late to be what you might have been.” ~George Eliot
Will you be the one bringing light to someone cowering in the shadows?
X0xo Kim ❤ 😀 🙂
A Dose of Inspiration 