Category Archives: Commies

August 25, 2008 · 9:00 am

Half a Commie Korean Company, trys to Steal Lehman Brothers

“I believe in doing random acts of satire!”
—ClapSo—

By Pressmin Spurious
Intergalactic Times staff reporter

Things are looking bleak on the financial industry front. Korea Development Bank in Seoul, a so called “state-run firm” has had the unmitigated gall make a takeover play for Lehman Brothers. This is extremely bad news and I’m sure my loyal readers will agree. This is nothing short of creeping socialism and of the worst kind! These are the same Koreans that have dumped those evil hybrid cars on us!

The Red Chinese owned Temasek has made two multibillion-dollar investments in Merrill Lynch, and Red China Investment Corp. has put $5 billion into Morgan Stanley. Those terrorist oil sheiks, Abu Dhabi, have bought $7.5 billion worth of Citi! There seems to be a fire sale going on, with large chunks of American financial institutions being grabbed up by the terrorists and the reds, and at bargain basement prices to boot! They are making a vegan potluck dinner of our American financial institutions!

How can this have happened? What went wrong? We have had over eight years of the best President, George W. Bush, this country has ever seen! He has been pursuing the noble cause of Reaganomics, just like his daddy before him! He has taken us to glorious war against the terrorist oil sheiks, and now these same sheiks, and the Reds, are buying our American banks? What the hell is going on?

I for one don’t intend to have future need to go to the chairman Mao branch of Pinko infested Beijing Citi bank for a bra burning! Someone need get on this!

I realize the Repulicans are busy trying to explain to McCain that he should know how many houses he owns, but I must ask ask chairman Boehner of the House Unrepublican Activities Committee to convene a special session in regards to all this unrepublican activity! If something isn’t done soon, THIS COULD BE THE YEAR THAT A CANDIDATE FROM OUTSIDE THE TWO PARTY SYSTEM GETS ELECTED PRESIDENT!

Pinko Paulson Activates his Commie Sleeper Cell

“I believe in doing random acts of satire!”
—ClapSo—

By Pressmin Spurious
Intergalactic Times staff reporter

Many so called conservatives were charmed by Henry M. Paulson Jr. There was dancing on the Wall Street when the former chairman of Goldman Sachs became the Bush administration’s third Treasury secretary. Even the greatest president this country has ever had, George W. Bush, was fooled by this communist infiltrator Paulson! I was not so charmed. I knew in my AMERICAN HEART OF RED, WHITE, AND BLUE HEARTS, that this Paulson person was part of the red brigade. I know he drives a forign made hybrid automobile and listens to the Dixie Chicks!

There has been a creeping economic fifth column in our banking system. That fifth column is called Fannie Mae and Freddie Mac. These big government social programs mascaraing as “for profit businesses” are the root cause of the mortgage meltdown. Back in the old days, poor people couldn’t buy homes. The reason poor people couldn’t buy homes was because the banks, real banks, wouldn’t give mortgages to poor people.

The reason banks, real banks, wouldn’t give poor people mortgages, was BECAUSE POOR PEOPLE DIDN’T HAVE THE MONEY TO PAY A MORTGAGE OFF! That makes good economic sense doesn’t it? If you don’t have the income to pay off a loan, you don’t get one! Not to those idiots down in Washington! They decided to find a way to give people who couldn’t afford to pay back mortgages a way to get mortgages.

They called their two new socialist economic black holes Fannie Mae and Freddie Mac. This made it possible for poor people to get mortgages. The rest is history. We are now seeing the red fruits of this “public/private partnership” that involved the government, Fannie Mae and Freddie Mac, and other secondary mortgage lenders. WE HAVE AN ECONOMIC CRASH! Now that the crash has come, Pinko Paulson & company have the unmitigated gall to come up with a tax payer financed bail out scheme that is nothing but corporate welfare.

In true conservative economics, as written by Saint Adam Smith, businesses that make bad decisions go BUST. That is what should happen to Fannie Mae and Freddie Mac! That goes double for that commie run “bank” called the Federal Reserve that’s being run into the ground by comrade chairman “Red” Barnanke! To anyone that doubt what I say is true, that vote spoiler Obamessiah has given pinko Ben his blessing! There are some that will scream that these commie social programs are “too big to fail”. I say they are too big government to succeed! I’m sure that you, my dear readers, will agree!

I realize that the republicans are busy trying to explain how The Greatest President in our countries history, George W. Bush, got conned by Pinko Paulson, but I must ask chairman Boehner of the House Unrepublican Activities Committee to convene a special session in regards to all this unrepublican activity! If something isn’t done soon, THIS COULD BE THE YEAR THAT A CANDIDATE FROM OUTSIDE THE TWO PARTY SYSTEM GETS ELECTED PRESIDENT!

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Filed under boehner, ClapSo, Commies, Conservative, house unrepublican activities committee, Humor, Libertarian, MSM, Pinkos, Politics, republicans, Satire, unmitigated gall

Tagged as boehner, ClapSo, Commies, Conservative, Fannie Mae, Freddie Mac, Henry M. Paulson Jr, house unrepublican activities committee, Humor, Libertarian, MSM, Pinkos, Politics, republicans, Satire, unmitigated gall

July 25, 2008 · 9:00 am

Who the Hell let Vicente Fox into the Chicken Coop!?

“I believe in doing random acts of satire!”
—ClapSo—

By Pressmin Spurious
Intergalactic Times staff reporter

There are those who have the unmitigated gall to propose that these United States should be diluted with the political blood of the commies from our south and the pinkos from our north. This patriot, my dear readers, begs to differ! This so called “North American Union” is being sold as the next step in “political and economic evolution”, nonsense!

Walmart already gets all the low wage labor it needs from Mexico, and Exxon, BP, etc. already get all the oil they can pump from Canada. Why would we “join” with these lesser countries? I know that The Greatest President we have ever had, George W. Bush, would not support such a plan. But I wouldn’t put it past those Marxist/Leninist sleepers cells embedded in the Congress.

That vote thief Obama has been on a tour of Europe, could he be studying how to kill our beloved greenback, and replace it with a “Euro” type currency? One cleaver artist named Daniel Carr has even minted prototype coins called the “Amero” which I find, by the way, to be very nicely designed. But the symbolism they represent is certainly not to my political taste!

Should these lesser countries wish to join us, they should apply to become states in these United States of America! Why should those lesser countries be made to feel that they are in any way equal to the greatest country on the planet? Don’t they realize we are the country that invented NASCAR and Chia Pets?

It just gets my goat when I hear that there is this crazy plan to sap us of our precious bodily fluids! I’m sure if The Greatest President in this country’s history, George W. Bush, had another couple of years in office, we would be invading both Mexico and Canada, the same way we have invaded the middle east!

I realize the republicans are busy trying to figure out some way to get Saint John McCain some press, but I must ask chairman Boehner of the House Unrepublican Activities Committee to convene a special session in regards to all this unrepublican activity! If something isn’t done soon, THIS COULD BE THE YEAR THAT A CANDIDATE FROM OUTSIDE THE TWO PARTY SYSTEM GETS ELECTED PRESIDENT!

Pinko Forest Service Burns a Bra!

“I believe in doing random acts of satire!”
—ClapSo—

By Pressmin Spurious
Intergalactic Times staff reporter

Those commies at the United States Forest Service are at it again! They have the unmitigated gall to use that ruskie bear “smoky” to spread their unrepublican propaganda! Their latest “psa” which can be seen here is an assault on our right to drive motorized vehicles wherever we choose!

Thank heavens the fine folks at The BlueRibbon Coalition have stepped up to the plate and outed this latest USFS transgression!

Conservatives believe that we should all be allowed to go out into the woods and do as our ancestors did:

IF IT MOVES SHOOT IT, IF IT DOESN’T MOVE CHOP IT DOWN!

I’m sure my dear readers will agree that these are the actions that built our great country! Our United States of America! Where do these socialist bureaucrats get off telling us where we can and can’t drive? We have a god given right to go out into the great outdoors and enjoy whizzing by it at breakneck speed! So what if we rip up some roots here or there. The logging industry is just gonna come and chop it down anyway. My answer to the problem of forest fires is simple:

CHOP DOWN ALL THE TREES, THEN THERE WON’T BE ANY FOREST TO BURN!

I realize that the republicans are busy trying to explain to Saint John McCain that Afghanistan does NOT share a border with Iraq. However I must ask chairman Boehner of the House Unrepublican Activities Committee to convene a special session in regards to all this unrepublican activity! If something isn’t done soon, THIS COULD BE THE YEAR THAT A CANDIDATE FROM OUTSIDE THE TWO PARTY SYSTEM GETS ELECTED PRESIDENT!