Optimism #II

Optimism # II

I try to be optimistic. I will live to be
one hundred with no more serious accidents,
untouched by serious illness. No Alzheimer’s,
no cancer, no other disease that insidiously lurks,
no unbearable pain, no burden to anyone..
My daughters will be happy.
My grandchildren will be healthy.
My family will continue to love me.
My friends will continue to like me.
I will write and paint and walk,
read, learn new things, and
will go to heaven when I die.

Optimism #1

Optimism #I

Despite the snow and ice and cold,
days now become longer and I tell
myself it won't be long before what is
white and brown will melt and green
once more. I wait hopeful, impatient
for winter's last hurrah to pass when I
can walk jacketless outdoors again
kissed by the sun once more.

Hope #2

Hope #2

I hope that it wll not be long before
cures for Parkinsons and Alzheimers
and Multiple Sclerosis and diabetes and
other diseases of our generation are found.
I not only hope but also pray the key
will be found that will turn lives around,
restore what is lost to so many too early.
Please God, hear my prayer.

Weary

Weary

I am so tired I think I will sleep
well tonight. It is so nice to
know I can sleep as long as
I like tonight even though I probably
will arise early tomorrow as usual.
Just knowing I can sleep long if I
want to feels so good.

Hope #1

Hope #1

I hope Isaac will benefit greatly
from the short time I have to teach
him so many lessons before his journey
leads to school and I cannot follow.
I strive to give unconditional love,
substance, structure, consistency,
attention, care. Not always easy.

I am pleased with how quickly he learns.
He is smart, reads, spells, verbalizes
feelings, uses the computer, interacts well
with others. He is excited about many things. He
tells me he loves me and I tell him I love him,
but worry grandmother worry, teacher
worry, fear for this child's future.

I fear he will not find the consistency
in other places that he has under my care.
He needs time, and I have it. He needs
patience, and I have it. I want him to
always know I am always here despite
rocky roads I foresee. I hope and pray
these months will establish that connection.

Weariness

Weariness

At the end of the day I am tired
look forward to lying in bed
to watch television for a while
but the moment my head hits pillow
I fall asleep exhausted and don't
wake up one a.m. or later
when I then watch things like
the repeat of Larry King or
Jay Leno or keep changing channels
until I find the earliest of early
morning news, exhausted no more,
waiting for the light of day.

Frustration

Frustration

I try to change a light bulb
beneath fixture above sink
should be a simple thing
but then the clock falls
breaks the light fixture
and I don't know if I can
find another fixture that
will fit in the space and
I hate fixing things anyway.
Nothing is ever simple
as it seems it will be
at least for me.

Jeans

Jeans

There is comfort for me in blue jeans
perhaps symbolism from my distant youth.
Presence of many jeans in closet soothes me,
each reflects my personal taste.
I seek a style that looks good on me,
comfort is more important than brand.
Definition of fashion eludes me
as do muscles these days.
Color must usually be a soft blue..
I know some may frown on jeans,
but it doesn't matter what others think.
I'm happy with own my sense of style.

Inaugaration Day 2009

Inaugaration Day 2009

Clean slate, faith, optimism,
hope, new beginning. Energize,
march, clap, cheer, sing, dance
until you can dance no more on
this day to celebrate, savor,
make memories for forever,
and believe, really truly believe:

problems we can solve them
jobs we will create them
wars we will end them
enegy sources we will find them
terrorists we will fight them

Smile today, believe in yourselves,
for tomorrow the work begins.

If I Had a Prayer

If I Had a Prayer

If I had a prayer it would be that
everyone I love was happy and
healthy and able to do all they
wanted to do, had people and dogs
who cared about them and people
and dogs they loved, activities they
enjoyed, accomplishments they
were proud of and were recognized
for, wonderful dreams and even better
memories and faith that tomorrow
would be even better than today.

New Jeans

New Jeans

I have a pair of new jeans, cool jeans,
so special I only wear them for good
not to hang around the house,
shovel snow, walk the track, grocery shop.
I savor them, save them, look at them,
feel them, enjoy them for occasions.
When I wear new jeans I feel good.

Fear

Fear

Fear like a monstrous thing
suffocates me, a heavy sack
of sand I cannot push from my
chest. I want to cry out, choke,
no words come. And what words
would there be anyway for fear
of only looming possibilities?

I listen to TV forecasters
who foresee low temperatures
not seen in a decade, shake
inside, as this will begin
the day of Diane's surgery,
hope the car will start,
electricity will stay on,
furnace will not fail,
the sump pump will work.

I no longer believe all will always
work out, no longer believe I will
be spared trouble. I will be prepared,
but I am afraid this morning and
cannot heave the suffocating sand.

Sitting Hunched and Broken

Sitting Hunched and Broken

Sitting hunched and broken
on the side of the road
next to her overturned car
she wonders where it was
she made the wrong turn,
didn't brake, didn't steer
to avoid something,
but she didn't know, she
couldn't think, it happened
so fast, it doesn't matter,
her body hurts, she is cold,
she tries to get up, her limbs
do not work, it is dark,
cold, deserted, her car
too far off the road
for others to see, and day
will break too late. If only
she could move. If only.....

To 2009

To 2009


2009, I would be content if this
would be a year to float
on water, feel the cool breeze
on my face, laugh and smile
about nothing in particular, walk
familiar and unknown paths,
to sing, yes to sing, happy
to live another year.

Good-bye, Hello

Good-bye, Hello

Good-bye, 2008.
I will not see you again, old friend.
Our time together is over.
I must move on, like it or not.
I will remember you with fondness,
will focus on the good
as the difficult times fade.
I have my memories, my photos,
and my poetry. You will not
be forgotten. I promise.

Hello, 2009.
Today you are a stranger,
but I will abide with you,
walk in your presence, and
soon you will become familiar to me.
I will learn to know you better
every day, and before long
I hope to call you friend.

Hello 2009

Hello 2009

I say good-bye to 2008, know I will not see
this now familiar friend again, feel sadness
as I turn just a little bit older, have one less
year to live, one less New Year to celebrate.
I wonder what 2009 will bring. I will welcome it,
as I have no choice, become more familar with it
day after day. I have no plan for this year,
no special goals, but each year presents a series
of unpredictable adventures and as this new year
begins I can only hope that the encounters
on this year's path will be good ones, that as
the year goes on I will accomplish something good,
will have many moments of happiness, will continue
to enjoy good health, but I can never predict what
is ahead, cannot know what one will face tomorrow,
but I can only live each day and embrace what now.