Coffee or Tea?

Bismillah

I used to never like coffee. In fact, I hated it. Whenever I went to a restaurant or got into a plane and they asked

"Coffee or tea, miss?"

It was always tea. Always. I even wondered how can everybody like coffee so much? The taste is  bitter and the colour is also well, not very pleasing considering that it will leave stain on your teeth.. no, that is a weak argument. Tea also leaves stain, dont they? But I guess you get my point 

There was a time, as I was studying in my school's study room a few years back, I saw one of my friends making coffee in the middle of the night (it was a boarding school, that's why we studied until midnight). Although I was soo sleepy that night and wanted to sleep but I had a lot to cover. So I went to this friend of mine and asked her whether I can have a packet of her coffee and being a kind-hearted person she was, she passed one, with a smile.

I went downstairs, headed to the 'water cooler' machine and made my first cup of hot coffee. So that was it. First time in history! I could not even believe it my self. I took the courage to drink coffee. Yay me! And believe it or not, that was the first time I know that coffee can actually stimulate your brain and help you gain focus. I did not feel sleepy at all after that and can continue studying. Yes, it still taste bitter, but somehow, I could adapt to that taste. And today, you name it- cappucino, latte, espresso, frappucino- coffee is no longer alien to me :)

So, why am I telling you this story? Who cares when was the first time I drink coffee, right? Isn't this just a waste of your time? Wait. Let us go through this together :)

Don't you think that our life is always a matter of choosing between coffee and tea? What I mean is, in this life, we are always presented with choices- one which looks pleasing to our eyes, and one, the opposite. Oftenly the decision we make is always because of what our eyes perceive is cool- having great looks is cool, having amazing car and house is cool, hanging out with friends of opposite gender is cool. It is sad that our perspective of life is so narrow that we allow others, especially our circle of friends and the media, to make us agree with them although we ourselves know how the reality is.

As Allah said in the Quran,

And did We not show him the two highroads (of good and evil)? 

(Al-Balad: 10)

So yes, choices and decisions of choosing what's good and what's bad are the nature of life

Sometimes, our mind is blurred from seeing things that are supposed to be good because things like I said, from the influence of media itself and most importantly, from our own nafs. Take these examples:

1) You know performing ibadah will increase your reward for the Hereafter but your nafs tells you that you shouldn't be doing much, you think your body needs a rest and you feel like at least your ibadah is better than some people who don't pray at all. Hmmph...

2) You know watching too much tv is a waste of your time, but you are still doing it because there's this show that you've been following and you dont want to miss that although you have another important task to be done.

3) You know studying will help you to improve your grades but your nafs is telling you there are still plenty of time before the exams! "Rilekslah oii", your heart whispers.

Those are only a few examples. But I'm sure you can come up with more. We already knew that if we choose a path that is harder ( extra ibadah, cut down entertainment, avoid procrastination) will give us tremendous benefits, but how many of us are actually taking that path? But rather we are pleased with the easier road and being in the state of 'chillax' everytime..

This is where the analogy of coffee comes in. Coffee may taste bitter, but later on, you can count on it to stimulate  your brain in the early mornings and help you to achieve more in your work (by the will of Allah, of course), but plain tea- although it comes with sweet taste and scent, won't be able to do it.

Choosing a path to please Allah might need a lot of self-discipline and consistency, whether you want to do da'wah or just to become a better person. But this is the jihad of the nafs. And one who choose this path should feel proud that he's given the honor to worship and be the servant of his Creator. I remember hearing a lecture from the inspiring sister Yasmin Mogahed. It goes like this,

'When a person is being given a chance to do something for someone who is much respected to him or whom he admires (a rockstar for example), he always like to do it- even to tie that person's shoelace, he will boast about it, take his picture with that rockstar and tell everyone about it. He thinks he is honored. Now this is the King of the Universe we are talking about, the One who give us sustenance, shouldn't we feel more than honored to serve Him?'

It struck me deeply when I first heard it. May all of us take the chance of our health and time to serve our King and to be able to give our best in becoming His servant. Allahumma ameen!

 I pray that in this blessed month of Ramadhan, the month where the shaytans are all chained, will give us the opportunity to train our nafs, increase our taqwa, and for Allah to guide us in every decision that we are about to make, and to not ever leave us even in the blink of eyes. The path to Allah may seem hard, and not so glamorous but we have to be certain that what's waiting in the Akhirah is totally worth it, or to be accurate, beyond worth it. May the path that we choose, will make you and me see each other again. And I hope that will be at a place called Jannatul Firdaus. Ameen.

O You who believe! Shall I guide you to a commerce that will save you from a painful torment.That you believe in Allah and His Messenger (Muhammad sallallahu alaihi wasallam), and that you strive hard and fight in the Cause of Allah with your wealth and your lives, that will be better for you, if you but know! (If you do so) He will forgive you your sins, and admit you into Gardens under which rivers flow, and pleasant dwelling in Gardens of 'Adn - Eternity ['Adn (Edn) Paradise], that is indeed the great success (As-Saff: 10-12)

IZ: I hope that whoever is reading this does not think that I'm promoting coffee brands nor coffee shops here, or provoking you to stop drinking tea LOL. I have nothing against tea for your info. But as for these days, I'm #TeamCoffee :p 

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The Forgotten Blessings

Bismillah

I remember there was a time when I was so hungry after coming back from class. With hectic life schedule, sometimes having proper meal is not really an important issue for students like us. Until when I got back during the evening, then only I realized how hungry I was. So off I went to the nearest cafe and grab some bread with cold drink. "Alhamdulillah!" I said as I felt the coldness of the drink running down my throat. The feeling? Indescribable.

And recently I was having this stomachache, which was excruciatingly painful that it did not even resolve when I took the first medication- Chinese herbs. To make things worse, that night we were about to have our family dinner at this nice restaurant. Of course I didn't want to miss that golden opportunity. So I tried to calm my self down and did istighfar as many as I could. 2 hour before the dinner, I took paracetamol and not long after that, the pain vanished!


Subhan-Allah wa Alhamdulillah.

These 2 incidents got me thinking. I was hungry and not long after that, I managed to get food. I was having pain and after taking painkiller, the pain disappeared. But what about those who live in a country that to get food is like hoping for a miracle to happen? What about those people who are being tested with diseases and pain, but they can't even afford to get the medicine, or in a more serious condition, they don't even know what is the cure for the pain they are having.


 Prophet Muhammad (sallalahu alayhi wasallam)  has reminded us with this beautiful hadith;

“Take benefit of five before five: Your youth before your old age, your health before your sickness, your wealth before your poverty, your free time before you are preoccupied, and your life before your death” (Narrated by Ibn Abbas and reported by Al Hakim)

When talking about being grateful, there can never be any greater example that we can learn from, besides Prophet Muhammad (sallalahu alayhi wasallam) . There was a time when 'Aisha (radiyallahu anha), wife of Prophet Muhammad (sallalahu alayhi wasallam) was in great awe when she saw him standing for so long, tirelessly performing his prayer in the middle of the night that lead her to ask him,

“O Prophet of Allāh, why do you undergo so much hardship despite the fact that Allāh has pardoned for you your earlier and later sins?” He (pbuh) responded, “Afala akuna abdan shakura? Should I not prove myself to be a thankful servant?” (Narrated by Al-Bukhari)

Subhan-Allah. How this beautiful hadith can give so much of impact to our lives. The fact that Prophet Muhammad (sallallahu alayhi wasallam)  striving so hard to please Allah with his ibadah although he has been promised Paradise is something that all of us should ponder.We are being blessed with young age and full of energy, but we neglect this blessing by loitering around and not doing much for this ummah. We've been blessed with health, but we neglect it by eating unhealthily. Allah has blessed us with more than enough money for us and the family, but we are so stingy when it comes to giving charity and spending it for His cause. We have so much time, but we are wasting it with too much of entertainment. Until one day when Izrail comes, there can never be anybody else who are at loss but the people who choose to live in this way. Na'udzhubillah. May Allah forgive us.


Prophet Muhammad (sallallahu alayhi wasallam)  has set us an excellent example through this hadith. So now it depends on us on how are we going to shape our lives. Lets start by first instilling the feeling of thankfulness in our hearts and followed by expressing it through our deeds and actions. Wouldn't you feel embarrass to face someone who has been lending you something amazing and constantly giving you a favor, but there you are, meeting them, seeing them and act as if you owe nothing to them? And now this is our Lord who has been blessing us with so many things since we were born, we walk on the Earth that He created, yet we do not feel embarrass towards Him?


Let us strive towards becoming a grateful slave of Allah, for we just don't know when and in which way His favor will come into our lives. People who are thankful will never be at loss. In Quran, Allah says;



And [remember] when your Lord proclaimed, 'If you are grateful, I will surely increase you [in favor]; but if you deny, indeed, My punishment is severe.'       (Quran; 14: 7)



May Allah guide us to be among the people who constantly remember Him, be thankful to Him, and to be able to use the blessings He bestowed us with, only for His cause. We ask Allah to forgive us for the arrogance that we have in our hearts, and replace it with humbleness and seriousness in attaining His blessings. Allahumma ameen.

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Strong Heart

Bismillah

Thursday evening. Nothing to do. So I switched on the tv and there was this show called 'Strong Heart' at OneHD, a variety show that invites the guests (Korean stars) to talk about about their painful experiences in their lives, hence the title Strong Heart.

Many of them did share their sad memories, some of them related to their job scope as stars and personalities in the world of entertainment, and some shared their ups and downs before achieving popularity and stardom. So yes, I admit some of the stories are sad and I respect their determination to get up and not giving up their dreams despite the tribulations they had to face at the beginning

                                                                credit

And so there was this guest, a young artist who shared about her 'painful' experience. You may wonder why did I put that (') sign. Ok here's her story, this actress ( I forgot her name) mentioned that she started to do modelling at the age as early as 10. At that time many people wanted to take her as model, thanks to her beautiful face. So she was a hit. As time goes by and she started to reach puberty, she experienced some changes with her physique, (come on, we all do) but much to her dismay, the changes that she experienced was not something that she desired. Her face looks slightly chubby and her jaw looks a bit.. hmm how do I say.. hypertrophic? So it causes her face to look a bit square-ish.


Since then, she hardly got any offers from magazines to be their cover girl, let alone to get a chance to star in films and dramas. And it affected her, a lot. She did not get out from the house for months, it affected her sleep and not to forget, her appetite. And after years living in anxiety and worry of her look, she then decided to do a plastic surgery. To correct her jaw of course.

Now, what is the moral of this story? To get a plastic surgery if there're some parts of your body that you dont like?

If your answer is yes, then it is a MUST for you to read this entry until the end.

You see sisters, many of us are facing the same problem, be it in Malaysia or anywhere else in this world. When people started to make comments of our look, we feel down, and keep thinking about it as if our lives revolve just around these people. The fact that many of us are depressed because of what these people said is rather sad to me. To my sisters in faith, just in case you are facing the same problem, here's a good news Islam wants to tell you.



So lose not heart, nor fall into despair: for ye must gain mastery if ye are true in Faith (Ali-Imran:139)



See? In this beautiful religion, how do we look is not important, but the level of your iman is the one that's counted. Allah (exalted as He is) is fair. He never judge us with something that we and people around us do not have the same capability to achieve. Meaning here, some of us  maybe lucky to have beautiful feature or to be born to a rich family and so you feel sad and starts blaming God (na'udzubillah) because you don't have that same ability to be rich or to be beautiful. But thats the point here. Allah will only reward you based on what everybody can achieve- rich or poor, beautiful or ugly- that is the level of taqwa.

And here's another hadith.


Prophet Muhammad(pbuh) said 'Allah does not look at your appearance or your possessions; but He looks at your HEART and your DEEDS.'  (Narrated by Abu Hurairah and Muslim)



This actress that I'm talking about might be feeling depressed because she does not know what Islam offers ( as she is not Muslim), that is to have redha and be thankful. And yes, even many muslimahs also feel sad and anxious with their appearance because many of us have not made Islam as our way of life. We feel too lazy to understand what this deen teaches and gain knowledge about it, not knowing that the more we understand Islam, the more calm and patient we can be.

When I think about it, it is just disheartening to see how this world can break us. But then again, it only happens when we ALLOW it to break us. I've met many people in my life who's feature might not look cute or beautiful or handsomel to some people, yet when they speak and when you get to know them better, I couldn't stop myself from praising Allah for creating such beautiful creature. It is like their inner beauty have overpowering the beauty that everybody so busy to take care of.

But don't get me wrong sisters. It is not prohibited in Islam to take care of our physical beauty. Besides, Allah Himself is beautiful, and He loves beauty. But once we are too obsessed with it until plastic surgery is a treatment of choice, that is when thing starts to be wrong . So I think I've made my point clear enough. If anybody does not appreaciate you because of how you look, let them be. Because in the end, like what Sr Yasmin Mogahed's once mentioned, it is not the creation that you want to please my dearest, but above all, He- the Creator. So, chill! ^^



'So often that we look into the mirror and feel worry of how we look from other people's sight. But, how often do we put a mirror in front of our heart, and feel worry of how does it look from Allah's sight?'

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'Saya tak layak untuk dia'

Bismillah


Pertama kali menulis tentang cinta, saya pasti saya bukanlah orang yang terbaik untuk membicarakan perihal ini. Tapi inshaAllah, saya percaya bahawa saya, dan juga anda sudah cukup matang dan dewasa untuk berbincang mengenai cinta. Apabila mengatakan tentang cinta, tentu kita punya pelbagai persepsi mengenainya, tapi jujurlah, kalau berbicara pasal cinta, cinta kepada siapa yang muncul di fikiran kita dahulu? Izinkan saya membuat tafsiran, kalau viewers artikel ini berada di sekitar umur belasan tahun atau dua puluhan, saya percaya mungkin 80- 90% terfikirkan cinta kepada yang berlawanan jantina. Hanya tafsiran, kalau salah, maafkan saya.


Pernah dengar orang kata cinta itu fitrah? Saya pernah, dan saya juga percaya. Tapi apa yang membuatkan ia gagal menjadi fitrah ialah apabila cinta itu tidak disalurkan ke jalan yang betul. Cinta itu fitrah, tapi kalau tidak fahaminya, ia jadi masalah.


Bercakap tentang fitrah, ramai yang jelas dengan fitrah manusia yang sukakan kesempurnaan. Contohnya apabila mendengar keluhan beberapa sahabat yang meminati seseorang kerana kesempurnaan yang dimiliki seseorang lelaki. Walau tidak ada manusia sempurna di dunia ini, kata sahabat saya dia seperti sempurna, akhlaknya baik, perwatakannya soleh, dan wajahnya pula sedap mata memandang. Tapi dia hanya meminati, tidak berani untuk merisik lebih dari itu, apalagi untuk meminta lelaki itu masuk meminang, kerana katanya dia tidak layak untuk lelaki itu memandangkan dia hanya wanita biasa-biasa, belum sampai tahap solehah.



(Lazimnya) perempuan-perempuan yang jahat adalah untuk lelaki-lelaki yang jahat, dan lelaki-lelaki yang jahat untuk perempuan-perempuan yang jahat; dan (sebaliknya) perempuan-perempuan yang baik untuk lelaki-lelaki yang baik, dan lelaki-lelaki yang baik untuk perempuan-perempuan yang baik. Mereka (yang baik) itu adalah bersih dari (tuduhan buruk) yang dikatakan oleh orang-orang (yang jahat); mereka (yang baik) itu akan beroleh pengampunan (dari Allah) dan pengurniaan yang mulia.  An-Nur: 26



Dalam kes ini, kalau ada orang yang tanyakan adakah sahabat saya bersalah kerana mempunyai perasaan suka kepada lelaki yang soleh? Jawapan saya adalah tidak, Sebagai seorang wanita, dia adalah normal kerana mempunyai fitrah, iaitu perasaan suka kepada lelaki dan dia juga normal kerana fitrahnya suka kepada kebaikan dan kesempurnaan.


Tetapi adalah sangat mengecewakan jika perasaan cinta itu hanya sekadar cinta dan tiada sebarang perancangan untuk menjadikannya halal. Kalau sudah suka kepada lelaki yang soleh, kenapa tak cuba untuk menjadi solehah? Kalau ada hati dekat sesorang yang berakhlak baik, mengapa tidak berusaha untuk mempunyai akhlak yang lebih baik? Ramai yang tahu ayat daripada surah An-Nur di atas, tapi ramai yang masih belum berusaha untuk berada di kelompok yang baik-baik seperti dikatakan ayat ini. Menjadi seorang yang berperwatakan mulia bukan kurniaan seperti mempunyai paras rupa yang menawan. Sebaliknya ia adalah usaha dan doa kita sendiri untuk berada dalam golongan yang disayangi Allah ini. Jadi, tak ada sebarang alasan untuk mengatakan.. 'ala.. aku ni bukannya baik pun..' sebab bila katakan demikian, kita sebenarnya belum lagi berusaha untuk menjadi lebih baik



Dalam hidup ini, kita tak tahu apa perancangan Allah terhadap hidup kita. Andai kata, kita berusaha menjadi lebih baik dan solehah pun masih belum menjadi pilihan, janganlah bersedih  atau patah hati kerana percayalah, dalam kita cuba berubah untuk mencuri hati seseorang, Allah terlebih dahulu mencuri hati kita untuk menjadi dekat denganNya. Dalam pada niat asal kita mahu menjadi solehah kerana mahu menjadi teman sehidup semati si dia, Allah terlebih dahulu akan meniupkan rasa cinta kepadaNya. Dan akhirnya, kita akan sedar kita tak perlukan sesiapa untuk menjadikan kita lebih baik kerana kita sebenarnya sudah jatuh cinta kepada Allah, dan itu lebih bernilai daripada segalanya.

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Tips-tips berkomunikasi untuk disenangi

Assalamualaikum. Dah lama tak mencoret sesuatu kat sini. Aish.. tiap-tiap kali buat post baru mesti tulis macam ni kan. Nak buat macam mana, memang tiap kali update blog jarak masanya sangat lama. Mungkin sebab 'ketidakpandaian' saya dalam mengurus masa.. kalau ada exam pasal pengurusan masa mungkin saya boleh fail kot. Erk.


Nevertheless, saya akan cuba juga untuk isi blog ini dengan info bermanfaat dan cerita-cerita saya, dan untuk kali ini saya akan kongsikan tips-tips untuk menjadikan komunikasi kita lebih baik dan inshaAllah lebih berkesan.


Sebelum itu, satu soalan patut kita tanya, apa pentingnya komunikasi sampai nak kena belajar untuk komunikasi berkesan? Kepentingan? Memang sangat banyak. Andai kata anda seorang doktor (atau doktor gigi :p), kebolehan anda berkomunikasi dengan patient dan staff sememangnya dapat menghasilkan rawatan yang lebih baik, semuanya kerana komunikasi anda dengan mereka menyebabkan mereka lebih co-operative dan suka dengan anda in which, psikologi pesakit juga memainkan peranan yang sangat penting untuk menjayakan rawatan.


Kedua, adalah dalam peranan anda sebagai seorang rakan, baik dalam social circle anda sendiri ataupun dengan rakan-rakan yang baru anda kenali. Siapa yang tak suka orang yang pandai bersembang dan ambil hati kawan-kawan yang lain kan. Dan yang terakhir dan terpenting adalah dalam lapangan kita sebagai seorang da'ie. Lihat sajalah contoh Rasulullah saw berkomunikasi dengan sahabat-sahabat mahupun musuh-musuh baginda, semuanya ada contoh tauladan terbaik yang patut kita ikuti sehingga jatuh sayang mereka semuanya kepada baginda. Dengan itu, syariat Islam berjaya disebarkan.


Ok, done with the benefits, sekarang jom kita tengok apa tips tips untuk menjadikan komunkasi lebih efektif. FYI, kebanyakan daripada tips-tips ini saya ambil daripada buku Leil Lowndes, bertajuk How To Talk to Anyone. Hee saya memang suka baca buku self-help dan psikologi ni, dan saya kira buku Leil ini sangat menarik dan mudah untuk dipraktikkan tips2nya. Selain daripada buku ni, saya pun ada beli satu lagi buku beliau yang bertajuk How to Feel Confident. Tapi buku ni ok2 je, tak sebagus the previous one that I bought. Ada 2 lagi buku beliau yang saya tak beli, kalau tak silap tajuknya How To Make Anyone Fall in Love with You (ehm rasanya tak perlulah beli buku ni) dan satu lagi tajuknya How to Make Anyone Like You. Yang ni saya tak beli sebab rasanya kalau kita dah pandai cakap dengan orang lain, automatically orang tu akan like kita kan.. jadi sama je. Eh oklah, dah panjang sangat ni.. lets see what tips that Leil and I got to offer to make your conversation better!


First, lets start with how to begin a conversation.


1)Find something unusual about that person
Untuk orang yang baru ingin kita kenali, susah betul nak cari topik untuk memulakan perbualan kan? Apa kata kita mulakannya dengan mencari sesuatu yang ada pada individu tersebut.

Contoh:

Wow what a nice brooch you got there! Where did you get it from?

Ya, lebih kurang begini. Contohnya bila kita jumpa individu tu dalam train atau majlis-majlis, kita bolehlah menggunakan apa yang ada pada individu tu untuk mulakan perbualan. Tapi awas, benda yang dijadikan topik perbualan haruslah benda yang baik-baik dan diikuti dengan pujian. Elakkan daripada menjadikan fizikal seseorang untuk dijadikan topik perbualan, seperti ' Wow that is a really HUGE tummy you got there! I wonder how many times you eat in a day?!' kepada orang yang overweight.. silap hari bulan mau kena pelangkung pada hari pertama perkenalan.



2) Remember their names
Ok, jadi bila dah ada topik perbualan baru lah boleh tanya nama. Dan adalah sangat penting untuk ingat nama individu yang baru kita kenali tadi. Ia mungkin susah untuk sesetengah orang terutama bila berkenalan dengan ramai orang sekali gus, seperti sesi ice breaking di program-program, tapi with practice, inshaAllah ia dapat diatasi.

Dan bila dah ingat nama, sebaiknya sebut nama mereka setiap kali mahu berkomunikasi dengan mereka.

Contoh:

(nama kawan adalah Siti, memperkenalkan diri sewaktu sesi ice breaking)

Eh Siti asal daripada mana ya?
Oh saya pun suka jugak memasak macam awak, Siti
etc..

Mesti Siti tu rasa terharu bila ada orang ingat nama dia, dan ingat maklumat yang dia sampaikan mengenai dirinya waktu sesi ice breaking tadi. Jadi kesimpulannya jangan malu untuk sebut nama kawan yang kita baru kenal atau tak berapa nak rapat sangat, sebab dia mesti suka dan terharu bila orang yang tak berapa rapat dengan dia pun begitu mengingati namanya.



3) Complimenting with reasons
Siapa yang tak suka kena puji kan. Tapi satu lagi teknik untuk menyebabkan pujian itu lebih berkesan ialah bila kita puji dia sekali dengan alasan atau sebab.

Contoh:

Wow I really like the color of your shirt! It matches the color of your beautiful eyes!

as compared to:

Wow I really like the color of your shirt!


Ternyata statement yang pertama adalah lebih kuat dan meninggalkan kesan kan? Jadi, figure out things that you are about to compliment and things to support them.



4)Parrot-ing
Parrot atau burung kakak tua memang suka ajuk apa kita cakap. Tapi sikap parrot ni tak adalah 'annoying' mana sebab ia boleh diaplikasikan dalam teknik komunikasi berkesan. Contonya, dalam kehidupan kita sehari-hari mesti ada hari yang kita sangat letih tapi orang-orang di sekeliling kita waktu tu pulak rajin nak sembang dengan kita.

For instance, after a loong day at work/ attending classes, your mum who picked you up was so enthusiastic to talk about this new handbag that she bought. And you were wayy too tired to talk and just wanted to sleep. So what you can do is just by repeating the last word that your mum said, and your mum will think that you are interested in the conversation and you yourself manage to not hurting your mum's feelings.


Contoh:

Mak: Semalam mak beli handbag baru..
Anak: Handbag baru?
Mak: Ya, dekat Parkson Subang Parade. Ada diskaun!
Anak: Huh diskaun?
Mak: Diskaun sampai 70% nak. Tu yang mak beli tu. Jenama Gucci pulak tu
Anak: Wow.. gucci!


Dan begitulah seterusnya. Tapi tak perlulah sampai nak ulang setiap apa yang mak kita cakap tu, nanti kantoi pulak kita tak concentrate. Jadi penyelesaian terbaik selepas beberapa kali jawab dengan mengulang, mungkin boleh guna 'uhuh' atau 'oh..' atau 'iya?' dan mengulang semula. Tapi kalau dah tak larat tu tidur je lah, provided that kita dah cakap few sentences dengan mak tadi. Selepas tu, baru mintak excuse nak tidur, daripada terus tak mau sembang dengan mak kita sebab nak tidur dalam kereta. It's not nice to do that to your mum guys.



5)Directing the spotlight.
Dan yang paling penting bila berkomunikasi dan harus kita ingati ialah the spotlight is always directed to the other person. Maksudnya, bila bersembang, janganlah kita yang menguasai perbualan. Pasti rakan kita tu rasa senang bila kita betul-betul menunjukkan minat mengenai apa yang dia bicarakan. Talk less, listen more. Dan bila perlu, balas/ reply apa yang patut. Ya, walau pun cerita yang di sampaikan adalah sangat boring.. tak apalah, dengar saja, dan excuse yourself once they have finished.




Sebenarnya ada banyak lagi tips dalam buku How to Talk to Anyone ni, tapi ini saja yang saya ingat sebab ini yang selalu saya praktikkan. Memandangkan buku ni tak ada bersama saya sekarang, maka tak boleh lah saya nak pinjamkan kepada siapa-siapa yang berhajat nak pinjam. Lebih baik, saya mencadangakan anda untuk membelinya sendiri dan praktis sendiri. Pada saya, pelaburan membeli buku tak pernah merugikan :)


Uhm and one more thing, once you have mastered the skills in communication, or even trying to master it, do remember to correct the niat of why you are learning this. I mean, I really hope that whoever reading this tips that I share do not use it for bad purpose for example to flirt (??) or to take advantage or manipulating others. The people whom you talk with might not know your real intention, but hey, ALLAH is watching over you and He knows everything inside out.. So with that, happy practicing!

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Seeing health from different perspective

I used to be the kind of person who did not really bother about my health. I just ate everything that I liked, and did not really concern about the calories and fats in each servings. And exercise? The word sounds kind of alien to me, years ago.

I can still remember when I was in high school, there was a slot for physical exercise /riadah. So most of my friends would play games at the school field whilst I, just enjoyed the afternoon with a nice ice cream I bought at the co-op and went to study at my classroom (its a boarding school by the way, thats why we can go in and out of the classroom as we like, and I was not really a bookworm, its the laziness of doing the exercise that forced me to study :p)

So that was when I was in high school. After I entered PASUM with science line, I then understand the importance of having good meal and healthy lifestyle. I started to control my diet and went for jogging around the lake once or twice a week. Nope, its not about wanting to be thin or looking gorgeous, but its more like understanding the importance of becoming, and look healthy.

But a few days ago, I was told that becoming healthy and looking healthy is not just about us. Believe it or not, becoming healthy can also helps us in achieving Allah's bless. Or in other words, Allah likes it when we are healthy, because it shows that we are grateful for what He has given us.

You see, none of the things that we have belong to us. Our properties, knowledge and skills.. all of them are given to us by Allah, the most Gracious. And of course, our bodies are not excluded. He is Al-Khaliq, the Creator and Al-Wali, the Owner. THE OWNER? Yes, the owner, as only the owner can take control of everything, that is when He wants to switch us off and when to restart us once again, which I'm 110% sure none of us can do that.

Just like in everyday's life.. we do take care of other people's belonging very well when we borrow something from them, right, because they ARE the real owner. And since birth,we have been borrowing our bodies from our Lord and we dont even bother to take care of it? After I realized this, it knocked me real hard. Thanks to a friend of mine who told me this. I kind of took my health for granted since I started my university years.

But dear friends, have you realized that our bodies are so special? Because it functions in automatic kind of way, as we do not really have to control on what our bodies should do. For instance, once you start chewing, can you order the amylase enzyme to be secreted.. ? Like 'Hey amylase, its time to work now, buddy!' Well, it has never happened to me, but do tell me if it happens to you because you must be a not so special person then as you have to do it manually! Aww poor you ;p

And when the processed food starts to enter your stomach, can you order the gastric juice to be secreted? And when should the food/chyme be absorbed? Just because you dont see any toilets around, that doesnt mean you can delay every process that is about to happen (you know what I mean..)

Drink plenty of water is one of the ways to keep us healthy especially in our hectic life schedule

So we can never control them, because our bodies are not and will never be ours. Only the owner can control each and every single thing that happen in the body. So if we just neglect our health, our bodies, dont you think we are being unfair to the owner of it?

I think I've made my point clear enough. If before this we never really take a good care of our health (and dont forget brushing the teeth is one of 'em!), maybe this is the time for a change, for a better and healthier lifestyle. If we are already in the healthy lifestyle, perhaps this is the time to renew the niat of why we so want to be healthy- be it we want to look better, or the fact that we dont want to pay that huge sum of money for our medicine later. Whatever it is, there's one thing we should always remember on what Allah has said in the Quran;

Say: “Truly, my prayer and my service of sacrifice, my life and my death, are (all) for Allah, the Cherisher of the Worlds.

Al-An'am:162

Yup, all that we do is for Him. So lets try out the healthy lifestyle! Starting, say.. today?

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Mari bersyukur.

Sudah sampai masanya kita bersyukur. Ya, bersyukur dengan benar-benar bersyukur dan berterima kasih, lebih dari sekadar ucapan alhamdulillah. Kadang-kadang bila lepas sendawa yang bau durian tu.. baru dengar ucapan alhamdulillah. Itupun diucapkan tanpa sebarang perasaan yang benar-benar terdetik dihati, yang mensyukuri nikmat yang dikurniakan. Ia umpama satu ritual. Bila sendawa, mesti cakap alhamdulillah, tapi sayangnya bibir yang bergerak itu tidak selaras dengan perasaan syukur dalam hati.

Soal bersyukur dengan rezeki is one thing, but one thing that is very common among us in this world is the feeling of thankful of what we are today.

How I wish I am smarter

How I wish I am prettier

How I wish I am I richer

How I wish I could trade places with her

How I wish oh how I wish

Sounds familiar to u? It sounds familiar to me. Well not really all of them, but hmm yeah, some of them. But alhamdulillah, I did not get carried away by it. Somehow Allah made me realize that those things are nothing. Allah made me realize that He had actually created me in the very best manner that I should never ever ask for more. When sometimes I feel like I should have been given better life than anyone else, reading this verse in the Quran is just enough to take me back down to earth and really be thankful to Him.

Dan (ingatlah) ketika Tuhanmu memaklumkan, "Sesungguhnya jika kamu bersyukur,niscaya Aku akan menambah nikmat kepadamu, tetapi jika kamu mengingkari (nikmatKu), maka pasti azabKu sangat berat". SQ 14:7

See! Its a promise! And moreover its not a promise from your friend who always said that she's gonna be meeting you in half an hour's time but turns up 3 hours later, but its a promise from Allah, the One who created us and all the creatures in this world. And as a muslim, we must believe that Allah does not break His promise. It is either we are patient enough to wait for more of his nikmat to come.

It is weird though that some people tend to forget Allah when He already showered them with all the nice things in this world. Dan pelik juga bila ada orang yang hanya rajin ingat Allah bila nak exam atau bila berada dalam kesusahan. Atau pun dah tak pelik dah since this thing is so very common in our society. The question now is, adakah Allah itu hanya wujud bilamana kita dalam kesusahan? Dimana pula Allah bilamana kita diberi kejayaan yang cemerlang dalam peperiksaan, dinaikkan pangkat dalam pekerjaan atau tiba-tiba diberi durian runtuh oleh majikan?

One thing we need to realize is, Allah is everywhere people. Yup, EVERYWHERE! And that means He is with you all the time. So why should we left Him out whenever we get what we want and only start seeking Him when we need something from Him? Seumpamanya kita menganggap Allah itu sekejap ada, sekejap tak ada.

And one more thing. When I keep thinking why and why I did not get what the others get. I found the answer.

If I was created as the smartest person in this world today, I would probably travelling all around the world, forcing people to admire me for creating/ finding new things with the high IQ level I have-na'udzubillah. Riak, ujub di situ.

If I was created as the prettiest girl in this world, I would have been busy attending photo shoots or maybe doing catwalking today-na'udzubillah. Pendedahan aurat, maksiat di situ.

If my pocket is full of money until it becomes as thick as a dictionary, I would probably buying things according to my nafsu without even thinking the relevance of buying them all-na'udzubillah. Shaitan's good friend I must say.

And most importantly, if I really get what I want to get, I will never ever be me today.

I'm not saying that me today is a perfect person with nice heart In fact, im FAR from perfect.. I make mistakes too u see, but what I want to stress out here is that it is okay if we dont get what we want because Allah has the reason for arranging our lives in such a way. It is just enough for us to be blessed with nikmat iman dan islam, because with those two, we can face whatever obstacles that are about to come. Chill.. Dont worry about what people may think of you because of how imperfect you are in their eyes, but instead lets just worry about how imperfect you are going to be seen by Allah if you have all the things in the world with you today. Dengan itu, marilah bersyukur ya. Setakat ini dulu. Wallahu'alam

The nikmat given by Allah to me that I am very very thankful for it. Can never trade it with anything.

p/s: ade sorang lagi abang sbnrnye, tp die x dpt cuti utk join kami makan angin time ni.. sian die..

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Be nice does not harm you

Pernah tak dalam hidup anda, anda rasa penat untuk buat baik? Ok, jujurlah dengan diri masing-masing. Sebab jika saya katakan dengan jujur, saya memang pernah rasa macam tu. Saya pernah rasa peritnya bila kita buat baik dengan seseorang, tapi dia tak pernah pula nak hargai apa yang pernah kita lakukan untuk dia. Sampai ada satu masa tu mulut dia begitu lancang kutuk kita pun ada. Saya pernah rasa macam tu. Dan selalu rasa untuk lepaskan apa yang saya rasa dalam hati ni dan cakap depan-depan dia apa yang kita rasa. Tapi saya tak punya kekuatan untuk itu. Maka. saya hanya diam dan biarkan perkara itu berlalu.

Masa berlalu. Saya masih belum ada kekuatan untuk suarakan apa yang saya rasa. Tapi satu perkara yang perasan lama kelamaan, dia tak lagi macam tu. Kata-kata dia bukan lagi yang menjengkelkan. Pendek kata, dia BAIK terhadap saya. Pelik kan. Tapi itulah yang terjadi. Sekarang memang saya sangat bersyukur sebab saya tak pernah diberi kekuatan untuk berdepan dengan orang. Sebabnya bayangkan kalau saya marah dia hari tu, boleh jadi dia kecil hati dan tak mahu lagi jumpa dengan saya.

Pengalaman-pengalaman macam ni buat saya belajar yang manusia itu boleh berubah. Berubah kepada kebaikan atau keburukan, itu bergantung kepada tuan punya diri. Tapi kita sebagai rakan atau insan disekelilingnya jangan cepat sangat melatah atau berprasangka. Jika dia tidaklah sebaik mana, kita doakan supaya dia berubah menjadi orang yang lebih baik. Jika dia suka sangat cakap tentang keburukan kita dan orang lain, kita diamkan saja dan kalau mampu, kita tunjukkan contoh yang baik kepada dia; beri dia hadiah, puji kelebihan dia, ambil tahu perkembangan dia.. nanti lama-kelamaan dia pun segan nak cakap buruk-buruk pada kita.

Teknik ni sebenarnya agak sukar, sebab perlukan kita untuk telan saja kejahatan orang pada kita, tapi kita kena ingat yang 'good things will never come easy'. Istiqamahlah dengan apa yang kita cuba tunjukkan pada dia, inshaAllah Allah akan bantu kita menghadapi kesukaran itu dan bantu untuk mengubah dia pula.

Orang selalu cakap tak perlu untuk baik sangat dengan orang. Alasannya mungkin 'Alah.. takkan kita nak biar dia pijak kepala kita pulak!' Hmm itu mungkin betul, sebab kita kena tegakkan pendirian kita KALAU kita di pihak yang betul. Tapi lepas tu bermulalah permusuhan dua muslim, yang orang kafir akan gelak dan seronok bila tengok. Kadang-kadang orang duk marah atau tak suka kita tu sebab kesalahan kita juga. Jadi perkara terbaik untuk mula-mula sekali kita lakukan ialah cermin balik diri kita. Kalau kita sedar kita salah, cepat-cepat perbaiki. Tak perlu egois.

Alhamdulillah saya pernah diberi peluang untuk menyertai training ESQ 165, beberapa bulan yang lalu. Dalam kursus tu, saya tertarik dengan satu formula matematik yang diaplikasikan, yang apabila apa-apa nombor kalau dibahagi dengan kosong, akan mencapai nilai infinity atau ketakterhinggaan. Formula ini dinamakan 'zero mind process' Maksudnya, jika hati kita kosong, bersih dari segala prasangka, kita pasti akan mampu mencapai tahap yang tersangat baik iaitu infinity. Biarlah orang nak cakap apa sekalipun, hati kita kekal bersih, sebab apa yang penting, kita cuba untuk menjaga ukhwah antara kita dan cuba untuk meraih redha Allah, biarpun perit sikit pada awalnya.

Saya akui, memang fitrah manusia untuk tak nak buat sesuatu kalau tak dapat ganjarannya. Dan sebab itu susah untuk orang buat baik sebab dia tak nampak apa hasilnya kalau dia buat baik. Tapi kita kena selalu ingat, di kiri dan kanan kita ni malaikat raqib dan atid akan SENTIASA mencatat setiap amalan dan keburukan yang kita lakukan. Maka tak perlu lagi kita ragu-ragu untuk buat kebaikan sebab balasannya ada, tapi sudah tentu bukan sekarang. Hmm kalaulah orang boleh nampak malaikat dengan mata kasar kan...

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The martyrdom of Allahyarhamah Marwa Al-Sherbini

Innalillah..I was startled and so sad when I read about what happened to our sister by faith, Marwa Al-Sherbini. She was a victim of racism in the country of German,that is well-known for its hi-tech stuff and so called civilised people yet has very very low respect for human rights. The late Marwa, 3-month pregnant was stabbed in a courtroom by a man who insulted her religion, calling her terrorist and tried to remove the hijab she wore. But what hurts me the most is that there was nobody, in that full courtroom, to stop this man from stabbing her. It was 18 stabs for god's sake! Oh yeah, the policeman was there, he let out a gun shot too, but it was not directed to the guy who attacked her, but instead, to her husband who tried to save his wife. Well congratulations mr. policeman, you sure do get yourself promoted for your SMART act and EMPATHY that lies in your heart.

Alhamdulillah this such case has never happened in my country, or at least I have never heard about it and wishes it will never happen. As the number of muslims in this world is growing, I realize that the hatred of non-muslims towards the muslims are also increasing. During my free time, I just love to watch the talks by muslim scholars and nasheeds at youtube and there will always be people who make fun and insult the muslims although the video has got nothing to do with them. A video about a boy reading the Quran and I just dont know how on earth can they make a conclusion saying that innocent boy is going to turn up into a terrorist one day. Err I beg your pardon, there is no evidence for you to say so and for your information, those people who read the Quran and really understand about it are the ones who are not going to become a terrorist. But somehow, I also feel pity to these people (the kafirs) because some of them dont know about Islam and just let themselves being manipulated by the western media.

I believe that many of us realize about this. Thus, it left us with one question. What are we gonna do about it? Now that we know many non-muslims dont like us, make efforts to change that! Nabi Muhammad s.a.w had left us 2 precious things that are going to guide us for the rest of ourlives; the Quran and sunnah. By understanding the Quran and practising the sunnah, each and every one of us will have a peaceful life and beautiful attitude. Go check nabi Muhammad's sirah. He never insulted the musyrikin who insulted him, but instead showing them his most beautiful attitude by visiting them when they sick and helped them when they need help. Therefore, we should never pray for the people who insult Islam to rot in hell though we really want them to, but pray to Allah so that Allah will shower them with hidayah and forgive their ignorance.

Though in the case of Marwa I know she must be a good muslim woman and tried to practise the religion as best as she could, then you may wonder why still there are people who hate her? I dont have the answer for that, but Allah does. He is the one who knows what exactly in our hearts and minds right now. But hmm I dont know, that man probably hold a grudge towards her about something. Well even muslims and muslims still hold grudge on each other today, let alone muslims and non-muslims. To Allyarhamah Marwa, may Allah grant you jannah and I just want you to know that your martyrdom will always become my inspiration- to stand firm by our faith no matter what awaits us. May your soul rest in peace...

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