Monthly Archives: November 2006

good advice

From Tom Kealey’s pragmatic MFA Weblog, I found Sarah Gold’s MFA article entitled, “So You Want an MFA?” Here are some excerpts:

1) Try not to compare yourself to your classmates too much. Graduate programs attract all kinds of writers, from people who’ve yet to send their first story out for submission to people who already have agents and are negotiating book contracts. The thing to remember is there will likely always be people whose work is more impressive — and less so — than yours. If you’re a seasoned writer, be humble; if you’re a novice, have faith in your own craft. No matter what your level of achievement in the field, you can all learn from each other, if you let yourselves.

2) If you want individual attention, go out and get it. Most professors who teach in graduate writing programs are very busy people — they may be working on books of their own, writing articles for magazines, teaching at other colleges or raising families as well as instructing you in the classroom. So expecting them to pursue you when it comes to talking about your writing can be, well, unrealistic. If you want an instructor’s time, take advantage of his or her office hours, or if that’s not possible, get his or her home phone number (you are entitled to ask for this) and schedule a meeting off campus at a bookstore or cafe. You may feel that, given the amount of tuition you’re paying, you shouldn’t have to be so dogged about hunting your professors down. But think: If they can hook you up with an editor who might publish your work, or make an important observation about a piece you’re working on, isn’t that worth buying them a cup of coffee?

3) Give the sort of feedback you want to get. If you’d like to have your peers edit your work thoroughly and effectively, pay careful attention to theirs. Anyone who gets back a paper from you covered with comments and insights will feel rotten returning yours without the same.

4) Understand that there are going to be people you don’t like. Writers, for the most part, have egos like helium balloons: inflated, but easily punctured. When any group of such people are thrust together — especially to engage in the pursuit they care about most — things can get ugly. There may be some writers whose work offends you. Others may not get your work, or may be callous in commenting upon it. So once you’ve sussed out who’s who in your program, don yourself a little light armor. Listen to everyone, but only take seriously those people whom you feel can really understand you and help you with your writing.

5) Remember, no guarantees. Whatever you have to do to resign yourself to this, do it before you write the first tuition check, or apply for the student loans. Otherwise, you’ll spend the duration of your program feeling pressured — and not many of us can create great art under those circumstances. Try to convince yourself that, no matter what happens or doesn’t happen after you graduate, time spent pursuing something you love is never wasted. Even if it’s expensive. And if you manage to do all these things, and still find you have regrets sometimes — well, take solace in the fact that you’re not alone. Worrying, after all, is part of what makes you a writer.

I’m almost through my program, and have learned some of those lessons already…but find the article still very interesting and helpful; in certain ways it validates my experience, in other ways, it pushes me to make more of my very short time left.

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messy room

my hubby is a very tidy sort. i am a messy person. i am also a packrat, too. i assume that my appearance provides no hints about my very messy tendencies, because most people are surprised, then apalled, at the state of my cubicle at work (i like to say my organization style is “by geology”–newest stuff on top, oldest stuff on bottom).

at home, this means the mess continues. a towering stack of nine books teeters on my nightstand, because i can’t decide which book i want to read on any given night. also, because once i read the book, it takes awhile for me to put it back onto the bookshelf. there are also a ton of my papers everywhere: workshop feedback, literature class notes, old papers, old manuscripts, tons of reading material, little notes to myself about plot developments, etc.

my writing stuff i try to contain to our den, where we often lounge together, and where i spend the bulk of my time. but because this space is communal, my mess grates on my hubby’s nerves. between him and our housekeeper, my papers get “tidied away” after me. (our house because of their efforts, is pretty immaculate and only slightly hints of my messy tendencies).  then, of course, i can’t figure out WHERE the papers are, so i print out ANOTHER copy or tear the house apart looking for the thing. the mess grows.

so i think i’m going to carve out a “messy room” in our home. my husband suggested a room upstairs, but that room is the first room you see when you hit the upstairs, and i have a feeling that the “tidiers” will come after me there, too.

i’m thinking a little room off to the side. where the tidiers won’t come after me. there is a bed in that small room, so there’s no table or couch or anything in there (just a bed and a tv). so i must make it my own. i must find a room of my own!

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encore

In addition to winning the Franz Kafka award, Murakami has won the Frank O’Connor International Short Story Award for his collection Blind Willow, Sleeping Woman. Woo!

Btw, this is old news. But it’s new news to me, because somehow I haven’t heard of it until now.  Where have I been?  What have I been doing?  I can’t help but think that maybe my psyche been living on a desert island in a parallel universe for the past two months or something, and I’ve just returned to my physical body to learn about this.

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remember when we first met?

Dear MFA program:

I know that we are well past the honeymoon stage. I still love you but now I find myself noticing your little flaws–they were either unnoticeable or very charming to me in the early days, but not so much anymore. Why are you so expensive? You are stuck in a routine. These critiques give me pause: Are you giving me what I need? Are you enough? I’m not sure. Have we grown out of our relationship? I still love you, I’m so confused. You have given me so much, but I’m annoyed at your limitations–or have I become needier? I don’t like that you make me question myself. But, here we are, staring at each other for what and who we are. Now I’ve got to figure all that out. I can’t help but think I’ve changed, and you haven’t been flexible with me. I expect you to change with me, but maybe that’s a little unrealistic.

When we first met, everything was so new and fresh. I soaked up every workshop and comment, and read the course schedule before registration with ecstacy. You fucking rocked! You were the shit! I couldn’t believe we were together. But then again, I’d never been with another MFA program before. You were/are my first. I had nothing to compare you to.

Now I’ve grown tired of the same old courses. What was so new to me, seems recycled these days. I’m trying to make this work, MFA program. I’ve made up my own projects, trying to make the most of this relationship. You’ve clung to me, too–in passive aggressive ways, making it hard for me to leave (and I admit, I don’t want to leave you).

You’ve introduced me to some wonderful friends. Great professors, new mentors, wonderful books. You’ve made me laugh, cry tears of joy, tears of sadness, and rejoice with triumph.  I’ve learned so much. You’re a good program. You really are. I think we’ll always stay in touch, no matter what happens. I’ll even tell people it was all good.

But we’ve got some time left, and I don’t want to leave on a bad note or even a tired note. I want to make the most of our relationship! I’m trying to remember the first days. Remember when we met? How fresh it was? How can we recapture those days?

I read the following post on Verbsap in their Editor’s Notebook. When I read it, I was filled with nostalgia for those first blushing days:

Many Fun Afternoons (MFA)

You’ve heard the issues surrounding MFA programs. Why pay for time to write when writing time is free? Is it even possible to teach a person to write creatively? Don’t workshops produce bland writing-by-committee?

The answers are: Because you get what you pay for, great instructors who help you improve your writing; yes, until the Pulitzer Prize committee says your body of work is the apotheosis of prose writing it’s possible that you actually can learn something from other writers; and, frankly, if your work is bland it’s your fault, not the fault of your readers.

Trust me. I’m an MFA student.

Yes, at the age of 43, with years of being paid to edit and report behind me, I’ve gone back to school. Two months into the program my writing is stronger, better structured, and more engaging. I’m not saying it’s great; I’m saying it’s better. That’s quick progress, and it’s all due to spending time with thoughtful, considerate, practicing writers—teachers and students—who have the sole aim of creating a space where writers can flourish.

What’s too often left out of the “to MFA or not to MFA” equation is how much fun a writing program can be. Imagine, two years in which it’s OK to say, “sorry, I can’t take out the garbage/go to that PTA meeting/wash the floor, I have to write. I can’t put it off. I have to do it right now.” Imagine having to read great books and hang out with other people who are crazy about reading. Seriously, add in a good dog and the occasional day at the beach and you’ve got yourself the perfect lifestyle. One worth, well, worth the cost of tuition.

So, if I’m a little slower than usual in getting back to you when you submit, that’s what’s going on. It’s not because I don’t care. I’m just doing my homework—my really, really fun homework.

I know you’ll understand. You’re writers.

Nov. 1, 2006

Ah, I’m inspired. Yes, it took a lot of courage for me to meet you and start a relationship with you. I made some sacrifices. It was worth it. I’m finishing my 5th semester with you. Next semester will be my last. Let’s make the most of it. I want us to have some glorious last days together.

Love,

Jade

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the perfect fellowship essays

‘Tis the season for application essays! For those of you writing MFA, Fellowship, and Residency application essays, I direct you to distraction no. 99, where nova has posted some honest comic relief in a post titled, “Failed Fellowship Essays.”

You know you’re going to laugh when you start reading:

1.
Dear Fellowship Committee:
Please, please, please let me in. I’ll owe you forever. Plus, I’ll bring chocolate.
Kisses,
Nova

I’ve thought the same thing myself!

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the unicorns of writing: mentors–what are they, and do they exist?

“Honor people.  If you honor people, your life is blessed.  It’s easier to honor your enemies than people who support you.”

The topic of writing mentors has hit a nerve.

Why are writers afraid to talk about mentorship? Why are writers afraid to be mentors?

I can guess why–it’s a thankless task, with thankless mentees…in a world where “the pie is too small for everyone to have a piece.” I can also guess there’s a great deal of jealousy involved (will no one admit to this, either?). What if your plebe whose writing you helped nurture, takes away “YOUR” opportunities? Could you stand that? Perhaps not. It would probably agonize me, enough to freeze the “warm fuzzies” of being a mentor.

Maybe movies like “Finding Forrester” are to blame. The plot summary on imdb reads like this:

Because of scoring exceptionally high on a state wide standardized exam and being an exceptionally good basketball player Jamal Wallace is sent to a prestigious prep school in Manhattan. He soon befriends the reclusive writer, William Forrester. The friendship leads to William to overcome his reclusivness and for Jamal to overcome the racial prejudices and pursue his true dream – writing.

Yes, that storyline is bothersome on so many levels. We’re all probably saying, “SHYEAH right.” Maybe these movies are BAD examples for emerging writers, setting unbelievable standards–in that movie, the Sean Connery character actually SITS in the same room and TYPES ALONGSIDE his young mentee, critiquing every word. That shit is mythical! No way!

Maybe it’s the world of art, too. There is no way to truly measure the worth of your “Product.” You are an individual contributor, all the way–there is no “I” in “team,” but there is no team in Art, either. It’s not like in the “cold, cold” world of corporate business, where mentorship does exist. In business, there is plenty of teamwork–you work for one company, and it is in your interest to make sure everyone is performing alongside you: hence, the benefits of mentorship. In art? That book is yours alone to write. You need help? Too bad–everyone else has their own book to write. And everyone’s learned that the hard way–it’s your lesson to learn, too.

But there are other ways to look at it, no? “If you honor other people,” as one of my mentors has said, you honor your own writing.

Maybe the potential mentors have an entirely different idea about mentorship. When I look for a mentor, I’m not looking for someone to edit my writing. I already feel like an idiot. I’m looking for some encouragement, support, some community. Same as I’d find in a peer–I’m talking kickback chats about a cool book, or writing in general, shit like that. Don’t be afraid. (Though I do expect more out of my professors, yes).

I echo a little of Rick Moody in his essay, Writers and Mentors, published in the kick-ass 2005 summer Fiction issue of the Atlantic Monthly. He writes about mentorship in the days before the workshop format. Maybe the workshop has had a hand in more than the cookie cutter aesthetic of MFA programs. I’m not against workshops–but we should recognize their shortcomings and shore them up, somehow.

So, do mentors exist? I think they do. Especially if they WANT to exist…or even admit to existing. I’m glad to have a circle of colleagues I can go to for support and insight and feedback on manuscripts…and a small handful of more experienced and accomplished writers who are only an email away. Sure, I ask my accomplished writer mentors for help and feedback on writing–but often, if it’s more than a few pages, I’ll offer to pay and/or give them an out. Because that’s the part that goes beyond mentorship and into “editing.” I’m asking for more than mentorship, then.

Then there are the professors who are also mentors, it seems. A timely post on the Emerging Writers Network blog today, addressing “the best creative writing profesor,” someone whose students had stories published in BASS….and whose students credited him for being critical path in their achievement. Is that just good manners? Is it real? Did it take away from their achievement? Is the professor swallowing the bile of jealousy? I don’t know.

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weirdo meme

tag, I’m it! Susan has tagged me for a weirdo meme: List 9 weird things that I do.

  1. I do not type on other people’s keyboards.  I do not type on communal keyboards.  Just my own.
  2. I imitate my dog’s behavior to emote some of the human feelings I have.  (Cock my head when I’m puzzled…or pretend to wag my tail when feeling overwhelmed with exuberance.  Also, I hope up and down in a weird doggish way when I’m feeling adamantly happy).
  3. I wiggle the 2nd and 3rd toes of my feet involuntarily when I get excited or anxious.
  4. I have a strict shower routine.  I must wash my body in a particular order.
  5. I constantly pinch my nose.
  6. Like Charlotte on Sex and the City, I like to examine my pores.
  7. I have a Plan A, B, C, D, E….I have to stop myself from making the plan for “when the world ends how will I survive?”
  8. I am constantly trying to predict the future, I think.
  9. I write on the back of my left hand.  I write things to do, story ideas, reminders, etc.

I do more than 9 weird things, btw.

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Updike’s pace

Critical Mass has a post on Updike’s writing regimen:

Q: You’ve written a half-dozen collections of poetry, 22 novels, several volumes of critical writing, a memoir and short stories. Are you a fast writer? Or do you work long hours?

A: Neither. I’m a slow writer who works rather short hours.

I was reading last night about Hawthorne working all day when he was doing “The Scarlet Letter.” Other writers mention 10-hour days. And you read of fantastic word rates that writers achieve — 5,000 words a day.

When I set out, I decided that about 1,000 words a day would be a good quota. … My working day generally goes from about 9 to 1, when I get hungry.

Maintaining this modest demand on myself has produced, as you say, a fair number of books.

The complete interview with the Charlotte Observer, in which he talks about the magic of writing, and addresses writing self doubt, is here.

Could Updike do NaNoWriMo? Curious question. (Maybe Joyce Carol Oates would embrace it). Another writer I have met, Aimee Bender, writes a short amount of hours each day: an hour and a half each morning, and that’s it. She makes herself stop after that hour and a half. Anything beyond that, she said, and the writing doesn’t feel fresh (or something to that effect–my apologies, I’m paraphrasing a memory from years ago).

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“I wasn’t ready then but now I see…”: they call it workshop feedback

Workshop is an intriguing dynamic: there’s not one voice of authority, and the writer has a dozen voices and feedback forms to sift through. Oftentimes the workshop leader will say, “You can’t listen to everyone,” adding some other qualifier like “Pick and choose what you need for your writing,” or “Measure the feedback of the work with your intention as a writer.” But in the end, you must know your own audience, and choose the feedback that is most valuable to you. Consequently, the process is dependent on the maturity of the writer: highly challenging to learning writers. Some of the feedback gets lost in that shuffle and negotiation by a writer who is not more self aware.

The obviously helpful feedback propels you to the next revision of your piece. It can propel you beyond the next revision, too. The most helpful feedback is timely and pertinent. Most people I know keep that feedback, it’s too valuable to throw away.

But what to do with the not-so-helpful feedback? I have friends who literally throw away the unhelpful written feedback. They feel it’s too destructive to their process, or that it’s worthless to keep. Others do not even READ the feedback from particular workshop participants. I didn’t have the heart to throw all my feedback away, plus I am a MAJOR PACKRAT. So I filed them away. Because I’m a MAJOR PACKRAT I always think, “Hey, this might come in handy someday.”

Halfway through my MFA, I discovered through experience that good feedback is mostly a matter of timing (this also applies to “real life”). I may not be ready to hear it then, because I don’t SEE the culprit in my writing…but I know I will see what they’re talking about downstream. Hell, I am usually not even offended by the unhelpful feedback–my reaction is more like, “Huh. What are they talking about? I am not sure what they mean,” and yes, often I do get defensive, “But I DID do that!” Months later, I’ll reread the feedback and feel enlightened. Ah. I had only done it partially, or was not as clear as I thought, or etc., etc. Or I have enough knowledge to understand the feedback in other ways–maybe they phrased the feedback comment wrong, and they meant it another way. This, I discovered in the particular instance when an instructor told me something about “First person present tense is not the best perspective. And you never want to start a piece on a plane.”

Pretty obvious and good advice to me now. But at the time, I was writing a piece in first person present tense, opening on a plane. It was my novel. I wasn’t ready to hear it–to hear it was to demean my entire, very young, project. I had to push further on with the work. Later, as I went to revise, I encountered lots of plot and pacing problems in the work. Ah. The first person present tense wasn’t working. And boy oh boy, the opening pages were BORING. Ah, better get them off of that plane (the plane scene has since been cut entirely).

Another example is when a workshop instructor told me a story was a total piece of shit (not really his words, but an accurate paraphrasing of his feedback). I cried for a week. He offered no advice for me on how to improve it. In hindsight, I see the story was a total failure–it was not something to salvage. His feedback on that story, though devastating, steered me to a better place.

I’ve got papers stuffed throughout my house–old workshop feedback and manuscripts EVERYWHERE, much to my neatfreak husband’s chagrin. WHEN are you going to FINISH with school, so that we don’t have papers everywhere? The other night, in a fit of restlessness, I finally sifted through the papers and organized them. I threw away extra manuscript copies, kept the one-page written feedback for each manuscript. Stuff I had written my first semester in my MFA program, three years ago, as well as the first written drafts of my novel. It was like walking down writing-memory-lane. I winced, I laughed, I held my breath, I smiled.

I was amazed at the feedback. How overwhelmingly generous some of them were, how many of them were helpful, how much I had missed in my first reading of the written feedback! Years later, my emotions set aside, I could coolly dissect my writing with an empathetic eye for the readers. Ah, THAT’s what they meant. Oooh, that stung the first time around, but I totally understand what they’re saying, and agree. There was critique on novel chapters I’ve sinced cut completely from the novel–I could see the problems and the gentle ways in which the readers implied, “Maybe you don’t need this section.” I couldn’t bear the thought then, and set the feedback aside–I remember thinking, “I can’t read this now, I have to write a lot more of this novel before I can act on this.”

Timing is key. In the end, everyone’s feedback is useful.

Hrm. Maybe my previous critiques about workshop are about to be balanced out, even though there is still a pressure of workshop conformity and I’m still workshopped out.

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writing friendships, mentors, peers

I went to my MFA program for a chunk of time to write. Also to find a mentor. Also to find writer friends.

I’ve ended up getting that chunk of time, disillusioned with most writing friendships, desperate for more mentorship, and surprised at the amount of knowledge I’ve gained. Of course this knowledge comes at the sacrifice of some wonder and refreshing innocence in my writing, but I welcome it all the same. I may have lost some spontaneity and rawness, but there’s only so far that blind intuition and guts can take me. Someday soon, may the guts return with stronger fury in my writing. For now, I feel like I’ve been learning piano scales, and I’m okay with that. So that is not my frustration, for all that is within my own body and mind.

What’s frustrating, and I have mentioned this before, are the writing relationships. I have been blessed to find a writing mentor or two–but I think it’s just like the idea of “the perfect boyfriend/girlfriend”: they’re out there, but your expectations of them may be too rigid. I’m wondering what my expectations are out of my writing mentors. Am I expecting too much? My thesis director has become a friend, but as a “hot rising writing star,” she has her own writing and career to manage. Where do I fit in? On the one hand, I am trying to be careful to not ask too much. On the other hand, shouldn’t I get more feedback on my thesis (I am still awaiting word on a draft I turned in almost a month ago)? Can I get more than fifteen minutes of her time, every month (if even that)? Bleah. I admire her so much, but I feel like I’m chasing her. I feel like giving up. She is just so incredibly busy.  I wonder if she’s having these debates in her head, except on the other side of the fence?
I have another writing mentor whom I love–when I was at a writing colony and feeling miserable, I looked forward to his emails. He sent me the funniest anecdotes about his lonely life moments. They weren’t actually funny, but they made me smile, knowing the compassion behind his sending them to me. “You are not alone,” he was saying in sardonic sentences and with self deprecating wit typical of his “indie rebel writing style.” He has introduced me to opportunities and spent tons of time giving me feedback on stories (and this, even when he’s not teaching at our school). He’s a keeper, right? I try not to ask too much from him either out of gratitude.

This is not to say that the “hot rising writing star” is not without generosity. When she was less busy, she referred me to a writing gig that I still have to date. Awesome! I’m just so confused. See? It’s like not knowing my own boundaries yet, as I’m still a newbie to this writing hierarchy and world. I don’t want to come off like an eager puppy who pisses all over the place, but neither do I want to pass up opportunity, either. It never ends.

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Miss Snark is the shit

I love Miss Snark. She is just so…snarky-delicious. A literary agent with a liberated id! But behind her entertaining and biting commentary are some very valuable lessons and insights into writing and publishing.  For instance, she has a feature called “the crapometer,” where she invites readers/writers to mail in their novel synopses–then, she rips them apart in public from the perspective of being a literary agent (you’ll deefinitely know what NOT to do by the end of the submission parade). Snarky AND enlightening. See?

Her most recent post is called Why Miss Snark Love Satan. Catchy. You think it’s a reference to her snarkiness and “evil” behavior. Yes. But it’s also a wonderful craft lesson on how to write villains:

Why I Love Satan

1. He started out on top of the world and fell
2. He hangs out on burning lakes without his hair catching on fire
3. He’s a leader of devils
4. He cheats on Death
5. He’s not much on Divine Intervention to solve his problems.

you’ll notice I don’t love Satan cause he’s evil.

You might think about that when you’re creating villains.

This post is inspired by three query letters describing the villian as “evil”. Evil in and of itself is boring. Fallen and flawed angels….that’s where it gets interesting.

I just thought I’d share. And yes, I discovered Miss Snark months and months ago from my friend Susan, who is becoming my personal web spider.

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Healing for writers

I don’t know if I’ve mentioned this before but there is a wonderful resource for us. I found her via Susan, who mentioned this once ago: there is a doctor just for us writers! Yes. And she heals the wounds and breaks we writers face, covering topics like writer jealousy, writer self doubt, anxieties about writing, and advice on how to carve out time to write in a busy world.

Her column appears every Friday on M.J. Rose’s blog Buzz, Balls & Hype. Today’s post is particularly meaningful for me as my writing process is just so darn slow and I have to keep telling myself all the time, “We all go at our own pace.” I get real down myself for that (plus it doesn’t help when people now say, “Hey you’ve been working on that novel for a loooong time, huh?” She repeats the magical words, in this week’s post.

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