So, this is a post that I've been putting off for nearly three weeks, because every time I sit down to write it, I am overcome by emotion.
Let me take you back three weeks from today.
It is Wednesday night, I just got home from the temple, and have a wonderful time there. We go to bed right away because I have to wake up really early to take Jeff to catch his van pool so I can take our car into the mechanic. I leave my cell phone by our bed instead of turning it off and plugging it in to charge. Everything is right, and everything is good. We had just been over to Natalie and Michael's to celebrate their one month anniversary and ate some bomb action cheesecake. As I was saying my prayers, I thought about Natalie and how she was spending her first night away from Michael because he was driving their car home from Oregon. I thought, I should give her a call to see if she needs anything, but it was really late, so I went to sleep.
We are awakened at 3:00 am to a phone call. At first we woke up because we thought it was the alarm clock and weren't even bothered because we knew we were waking up early. Then I realized Jeff was talking to someone. He got off the phone and said that Michael had gotten into an accident, and needed a ride to the hospital.
We got dressed quickly and grabbed our scriptures... I don't know why we did that. We went and picked Natalie up and Jeff gave Natalie a blessing. In the blessing Jeff blessed her to find comfort in the plan of salvation. It seemed kind of out of place. We were scared, but the thought of him being paralyzed or worse didn't even seem possible. All we knew was that he had been in a car accident, and was at the Mackay-Dee hospital in Ogden.
At 4:45 we arrived at the hospital and dropped Natalie off at the emergency room entrance. When we found here, she was in a room with the neurosurgeon, who was asking questions like,
"Does he smoke, or drink?" "Is he on any medications?"
Then he showed us the brain scans, that showed us multiple fractures, and bleeding, and a bruise. At that point he was stable enough to perform a surgery. Natalie signed the papers, and then we went in to see him. As soon as we entered the room, he became unstable again. The doctors took us away and told Natalie that all they could do was keep him comfortable. This was one of the hardest moments of my life, and I'm sure hers too. I remember the doctors leaving and we are all just sitting trying to choke down the tears, and realize that what we thought wasn't possible is happening. I took her in my arms and told her that we loved her. That's all I could think to say. We went in to see him again, and after giving her a minute to herself with him, we sat with her. I then remembered I had my scriptures, and asked her what Michael's favorite scripture was. She couldn't remember at the moment, so we read hers. D&C 121: 25-40. You should read it. It was absolutely perfect for the moment, and peace filled that little room. After Jeff finished reading that, Natalie remembered his favorite scripture, the part in the Book of Mormon when Jesus is blessing the children. Jeff began to read, and just as he was finishing, the doctors came in and told us he was gone.
What followed was a busy, tiring, and trying weekend. It is amazing how life can change in one split second.
Natalie is my twin sister, and we have always relied on each other. We are so different in so many ways, and I have always looked up to her for so many things. In this experience she has become such an example of faith and courage. In this situation of all situation, when she had every right to complain and be angry, all I saw was love, and faith. There was sadness, but no despair. She spoke at his funeral and testified that this was God's will, and that she was prepared, and bore such a powerful testimony of the Savior I will never forget it.
In the past three weeks, we have all shed more than our fair share of tears, but Natalie is doing well, and is an inspiration and example to all.
I just want to say, that even though my experience in this is small and simple in comparison to what Natalie has gone through, this experience has changed my life forever. I know that I have learned many invaluable lessons, and I look at life through different eyes. I have felt pain in my own loss of a great brother-in-law, but I can truly say I have felt Natalie's pain. So many nights I just ache for her. I feel like I know a little of what Christ must feel when he sees us in pain.
I have learned that attitude can turn the greatest tragedy into the greatest experience.I have learned that we are all a lot stronger than we think. I know more truly, that there is life after this. But I think, most of all I have learned that life is a gift.
I have learned that life is a gift, and I am so grateful for that gift. More than anything.
I was talking in the temple today with a lady who has fought cancer for more than 14 years, and she told me that each day is a miracle for her, and that each day is a gift.
Man, did I need to hear that. In the middle of midterms, and a cold, and a sore mouth from braces, I don't think I was looking at my day as a precious gift from God. But as she talked to me, I realized how wrong I was. I thought of Michael, and of all of my blessings, and I stand corrected.
I know this is getting to be long, but I want to say a few things about Michael.
While he was with us, he was so full of life. He had the greatest laugh, and a way of making people feel so tall, and so good. Everytime we had him over for dinner, he would compliment me as a cook, and he did it in such a way that I really beleived him. He made me feel like I was something special, just for cooking dinner. He loved my sister, and they were so happy together. I am so grateful to have known him. He was patient with my weakness, and always understanding, even when he didn't have to be. He was a wonderful man. When I think of why he had to be taken so soon, I think of what a friend said to me yesterday. She said, "Sometimes it is hard to take what God gives us. But if God meant it to be this way, there is no other way."
It feels good to put this into words.
Thanks
We had an awesome relaxing Thanksgiving at home in Provo. We cooked alot and thanks to our hometeachers, even had a Turkey. Happy Late Thanksgiving!
I went skiing for the first time! We just went on the rope tow so it was free, and it was a good very mild first experience. I only fell once. I am practicing because we are going skiing with Jeff's family during Christmas break. Jeff is very patient and a great teacher!!
The not-so-look-a-like twins
Still a happy couple, after 1 year and 4 months (and counting)!
Sorry it's sideways!
Having everyone here in Provo was really great!
This picture is from the Carnival on campus, right before finals! Free food, games and no studying! Now, that is a sweet party! P.S. We look really tough in this picture, huh?
A great picture from a great ward temple trip, with our great used to be neighbors! We miss you Lisa and Alan!
Summer Fun An Engagment Picture Winter Fun
