Why is it that the less money we have, the more we seem to want to spend? I’m living on a crazily strict budget at the moment and am barely out of my student overdraft, yet there always seems to be more to buy for. It’s someone’s birthday or I need another textbook or more medicine or its takeaway night or time for some early Christmas shopping…
Sometimes we just have to say ‘no’ and think about what we’re working towards. I’m starting my final social work placement this week and am quite nervous – but very excited. It will be a tough year (tough career) I’m sure, but I am really looking forward to meeting the rest of my team and learning about my new responsibilities and putting more theory into practice.
In the evenings I will be waitressing and hopefully starting my support worker job at the weekends too so things will be very busy and money will be dripping in, though I’m sure it will flood away very quickly with house bills to pay, travel money to work and Christmas flying up soon.
I think one of my problems is that I just love to treat the people I care about and I know that I shouldn’t spend money I don’t have but I have decided to really put things in priority, but be sensible about it!
Last year my social life was a minimum because I lived and breathed placement and essays and assessed debates. While I only have a few months left of this course, which I’m sure will whiz by, I really do need to focus on my goal of getting this degree I’ve been working so hard for, becoming a qualified social worker. Then it’s the ASYE year to become an approved social worker. Then my life begins.
I think what I’m trying to reflect on here is that while we don’t have much money, there is still so much to be thankful for. I’ve been given this amazing opportunity to study what I love and I might not have much in my purse but there are things we have that money cannot buy. I should be more disciplined with myself but I’ve learned that the odd night out or night avoiding studying shouldn’t be viewed as a treat or perk, but a necessity to keep our minds balanced and strong and prevent burn-out.
So I might feel like I’m struggling financially to pay my way but it is my goal which should keep me working, but also celebrating this journey as I live it.
‘No one can serve two masters, for either he will hate the one and love the other, or he will be devoted to the one and despise the other. You cannot serve God and money.’ Matthew 6:24
‘Keep your life free from love of money, and be content with what you have, for he has said, “I will never leave you nor forsake you.” Hebrews 13:5
Look at us. We are now in our third and final year of our Social Work degree. Are you terrified? I am! We are about to start our final placements (though I don’t know where I’ll be yet) and in a few short months we will be applying for jobs, or even getting ready for an MA or Frontline course. Very frightening.
I like to see it as exciting… but I am apprehensive. We will be making judgement calls to support vulnerable people. We will be empowering but also needing to empower ourselves to keep going. The pressure will be high and the burn out rate even higher.
In our second year I struggled finding time for meals and reflection time let alone finding time for social life. Of course there is more to life than Friday nights at the pub but switching off and taking a break is crucial to mental health and emotional development. I do feel support work is so rewarding and something I feel I have been called to do (so much so that I dropped my English degree to pursue this on a whim). I have learnt a lot about people but I have also learnt a few valuable life lessons along the way- about relationships, confidence, support and being kind to myself.
Self-care is crucial for people who spend their days being emotionally drained and pushed to their limits. To think that next year I will be living somewhere else, doing something new, having people put their trust in me while I’m finally being paid for it is crazy. It is such a huge responsibility to have and although people tell me social workers are hated, I get a lot of respect from my clients for what I do. In a way I think we teach each other, though the boundaries are clearly in place.
I’ve been doing some filing of old papers to clear space for my dissertation work, and I found my reflection logs from my first placement two years ago. Reading my thoughts from back then of a new, inexperienced and nervous student social worker, made me laugh as well as bringing a tear to my eye.
I was pleased to remember that I was successfully managing altercations and conflicts on my first day (though I don’t doubt that I looked nervous about it). Something else that made me laugh was when I had wrote
“12:20 – Made a phone call to a resident and learnt that in hindsight, should always introduce myself on phone when calling residents as he demanded who I was when I asked how he was.”
This sounds silly but making and answering phone calls was quite daunting for me at first because we communicated with a number of different services which I was not familiar with and we often received much abuse and even tears over the phone. This is a simple though effective area I quickly built confidence within.
How far we’ve come indeed – from being scared to answer a phone correctly to being thrown out into the open world! I don’t feel ready but I do feel capable. We’ve already grown so much on this journey and I’m sure that we will change so much during our next 100 day placement. I will keep everyone updated on my learning and development (though of course I don’t share anything personal and everything is confidential and anonymised).
Good luck to all my course friends and students on similar journeys. It will be worth it, even if we choose not to be qualified social workers at the end of it – we will have grown and learnt a lot along the way!
When struggling for money, it’s important to know what you can get for free. There is so much out there to see and appreciate that is free or costs very little.
Being a student, I’ve found it very hard to find or manage a part-time job that fits around my full-time study and placement. Having the time to eat at regular times and grab a few hours’ sleep each night is challenging enough for me and I don’t feel I have much energy for anything else!
However, when I was back at sixth form college, as well as evening courses, volunteering a couple of nights a week on top of going to my church groups, I was able to juggle a couple of cleaning jobs. I guess I believe that you should work for everything you get, nothing is ever for free – not a meal, not a night out, no opportunities. It costs your time, energy and sometimes your reputation. So I suppose this post is quite contrary to my work ethic.
What I’m trying to say is that you can still value experiences where you don’t have to splash the cash. I have thought up twelve things you can do and experience for little or no money.
1. Family. Not everyone has great relationships with their families but when I write family here, this doesn’t necessarily mean blood relatives. I have a number of close friends who I consider to be as good as brothers and sisters, aunties and uncles. Being away at university means that I miss them all a lot even though we keep contact through Facebook and weekly skype calls. You don’t have to go anywhere with family, just appreciate that you have them, eat with them, watch TV with them and laugh together. In a few years’ time they might be gone and it will be these moments today that could mean the most later on.
2. Next on the list is love. (Betcha’ didn’t see that one coming!) Now, my lovely boyfriend would argue that love is actually very expensive. Birthdays, Christmases, anniversaries, Valentine’s days, days out, nights out, weekends away, little treats, big treats and a whole other family you adopt too with their birthdays to remember. But love, in the romantic sense, is a beautiful thing. Of course you should be able to be and feel like yourself everywhere that you walk in life, but he gives me more confidence to do so. We don’t have to go anywhere together. We don’t even have to make great plans together. Having him is enough right now. Happiness is the little things.
3. Days out in the city. As we live on the outskirts of London, when I was younger my sister and I were forever hopping on the underground with one zap of our oyster cards and zooming into central London for that buzz. There are so many museums and galleries to visit which are completely free like the amazing Science Museum, beautiful Victoria and Albert museum, the National History Museum and the Tate Modern (just to name a few). You could spend days wandering around these places when all you need to pay is your travel and a sandwich and drinks (which you could take with you). Not bad for a great London experience where you learn a lot too. Have a google and see what you can find 🙂
4. Your local library. Reading is free. If you feel like you need to spend a few hours away from the noise of your home or workplace then this place welcomes you. Somewhere peaceful and airy with shelves and shelves of books just waiting to be opened by you – and they don’t cost a penny. Sit and chill here at a desk or in a comfy armchair. Study until your heart is content, or take out a DVD for just a small charge. There is also certain to be notices and adverts around, informing you of local events/shows/clubs happening in your community that you could get involved with.
5. Volunteering. Why would anyone want to work for free? Firstly, it’s fun because you meet some great people along the way. Volunteering can feel very rewarding because of who you’re helping and the relationships you’re making with them. In the best places you will be respected and appreciated because unlike the workers who are being paid (though still doing a great job) you are coming in every day and giving up your time for no pennies at all. That’s some sacrifice. Furthermore, life is all about building experiences and these experiences can boost your confidence, bring you more perspective and a more rounded lifestyle and as well as add experience to your CV. What’s not to like about that?
6. Window shopping. I’m a big fan of retail therapy but this usually consists of just browsing, filling my basket and then emptying it again when I realise the contents of my purse. It is still pleasant to spend a couple of hours looking around if you have that time to spare and you can note down things you want or gifts to buy and then save money to return another time.
7. You could work on or start a hobby. I love my music and my art. Whether I’m particularly good at these or not, this gives me time away from my work where I don’t need to stress, just focus on the notes I’m playing on my flute or the sketch or painting I’m working on. Of course I now have this blog which I love working on and communicating to fellow bloggers through. As well as giving me something else to do which doesn’t cost anything, this is also a great therapy. Or you know, teach yourself how to knit. All those things you’ve always wanted to do or learn – start now. YouTube is streaming with teaching videos and demonstrations so there are no excuses if you really do want to give it a go and don’t have the money right now to attend classes. My flute, Irish whistle and recorder
8. Cook. Following elaborate recipes and learning how to make sauces from scratch is a great hobby of mine. But buying lists of ingredients can be expensive. Look in your cupboard, pull out the tins and packets which have been sitting there for months and create something new. I with my friends used to do this and between us we came up with so many interesting, creative, perfectly edible and yummy meals. There were lots of giggles too.
9. Organisation. I think this is a beautiful word. Organisation can save so much time in the long-run. Clear out your attic, your wardrobe, your old VHS collection. Tidy your CD racks and your stationary drawer. You might find some treasures you’d forgotten you had. I love going into my parents’ loft, finding old toys, old photo albums, old memories. I can sit there for hours in the dim light, getting all dusty. Donate your good-quality items you no longer want or need to a charity you support, make a difference somewhere. You could even make some money by setting up a car boot sale or selling some of your things on eBay.
10 Following on from organisation, you could think about your goals. Make a list of what you want to achieve whether this is in the next couple of weeks, months or years. Do you want to redecorate? Move up in your work? Travel somewhere new? Holidays cost money but plans do not. Give yourself something to look forward to.
11 Look for the bargains. Whenever I do my grocery shop I am always trying to find the items where the deals are. Buy one get one free. Buy three for the price of two. Whether or not this actually saves me money, I haven’t worked out yet. But we constantly collect vouchers for shopping, restaurants and days out. Lastminute.com and other websites also give great price reductions on theatre shows and holidays, you can treat yourself and your loved ones without becoming bankrupt.
12 Your smile. What makes you happy? My faith is a big part of my life and going to church calms me, spending time and engaging in worship with people who I would call my family makes me happy. I try to pass on this happiness and by smiling at people and trying to do good. It’s cliché but a smile can really make someone’s day and what does that cost you? Over the last year I have begun a scrapbook where I glue my photos, train, plane and theatre tickets as well as other mementoes and inspirational quotes. I read through these memories whenever I feel the need to cheer myself up, remember something that has made me happy in the past and gives me encouragement for my future. Animals also make me happy and I have pictures of my cat all the way through my scrapbook 🙂
The comforting sound of the washing machine spinning my clothes around with soft thuds.
Of course we have a machine at uni but it’s not the same as our ancient one rattling away in the corner of the kitchen. I find everything about home so comforting that without realising, I accidentally spoon three lots of sugar into my tea instead of one, tasting the home sweet home of my childhood.
The smell of our old carpets. Our cats have been gone for a while but sometimes, I still smell them. What’s more, sometimes I’m sure I can hear the tinkling bell of their collars. But now I’m just getting creepy!
Our friendly neighbours constantly walk past, who smile and wave through the window. Some might feel this is an invasion of privacy but in our cul-de-sac everyone knows everyone and we always stop for a chat. Besides, it’s our own fault for not putting up net curtains.
There doesn’t always seem to be much food at home. All of my family work or go to school so if I pop home from uni without giving much notice, I’d have to dig in the freezer for leftovers or be creative with tins from the cupboard.
Everything about here feels comforting; my great nanny’s cabinet of ornate glasses, my parents’ wedding photo hanging next to the case of my mum’s dance books and my dad’s Japanese figurines, the cacti sitting on the windowsills, the oil paintings, the coffer on the landing which I’ve broken both my little toes on by running upstairs too fast and kicking it (owch), the damp clothes hanging all around the house whatever the season, the grandmother clock donging every half an hour.
When I’m home, I often order than we visit my nan because she lives just a couple of towns away and we don’t see her often enough. My favourite food in the world is her fried chicken, rice and gongo beans with warm apple drink on the side. Her homemade fishcakes with flying fish gravy. My nan’s home is full of even more warm memories of playing with cousins, the noisy cuckoo clock popping out on the hour, lying on the sofa with a sickness bug watching old murder mystery programmes on the television, playing hide and seek behind the sheds in the garden, climbing the big old tree to pick green gages and banging away on the old piano in the side room before our granddad got out of his armchair to come shout at us. One day I would love my nan to teach me how to make chicken just the way she does. I should do this soon.
Why do people always feel the need to ask students this, as if we have a plan and know what the future holds for us? I want to be happy, do some travelling when I have the money, then save for a wedding, a marriage, a family, live happily ever after with children and then grandchildren, all while holding down a secure job. For some reason this is not the desired answer. But I think this answer is so simple to the complicated, hated question, ‘what do you want to do?’
I know it is not easy to achieve these outcomes and there are so many barriers in the way. I know so many people who have graduated from university with brilliant grades yet are now working in dead-end jobs because they do not have the experience to work where their goal is, and of course due to cuts there just aren’t many jobs out there at the moment, people are gripping onto them by the skin of their teeth and rarely letting any new blood in.
So actually, yes I kind of know where I would like to go but whether the door will be open when I reach that point is a completely different story. I have never been interested in being a housewife. I love cooking and cleaning and the concept of family, but I was brought up by two parents who both worked. I have a lot of respect for my parents for working hard and I had no problem with being child-minded and being in day nursery and then school with after-school clubs, it made me more independent and I could learn social skills with children my own age as well as learning numbers and writing etc from a very young age. For this reason, I would always want to work regardless of my situation. I feel like I would go mad staying at home all day, I need to get out and make myself useful even if I’m not being paid for it!
Therefore, staying at home is not an option so this question cannot be dodged. What do I really want to do with my life? I want to make a difference out there, both through my writing and my practical support-work. I hope there will always be space out in that world to support others and I am sure there will be, but we are not always in control of our lives. Christians believe that God is in control and he knows what will happen. “Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and do not lean on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge him, and he will make straight your paths” (Proverbs 3:5-6). There is the popular saying, if you want to make God laugh then tell him your plans. He can see our future but we have no crystal ball.
It is all about trusting your instincts. I feel I have been called to be a social worker and also have the skill of writing, there are particular areas where my interests lie and these could be interpreted as spiritual gifts. But what do I want to do? Get through today, do tomorrow, follow the calendar, complete my course, try to earn and start some savings, live my life and see what signs place themselves before me.
A few weeks ago I stopped what I was doing and my mind screamed, “Why are you doing this to yourself?! Why are you putting yourself through all of this grief and physical pressure when it feels there’ll be no rewards?” This is when I need to sit down and remember why I signed up for this job in the first place. I have always wanted to inspire people – not at all because I think highly of myself or believe I have the knowledge and wisdom to be looked up to – but I have always wanted to write and I believe that we should write to inspire. This is why I started my blog and if one person can take one positive thing from something they have read on my blog then I feel like I have made a difference.
If someone looks at me and smiles then I have made a difference to them. You can make a difference to anyone, strangers you pass in the street, passengers who sit next to you on the train. You may never see them again, but they could still remember you.
When my clients thank me for helping them, I say “there is no need to thank me, we are here to support you and will always be here for as long as you need the support”. Inside, I am glowing. Firstly, it is a big thing for them to have thanked me at all, but they have recognised that I took this time to support them and be polite and not be offended when they shouted or swore, to not turn my back when they were rude, to continue helping them when they did not believe they deserved it. I empowered them and did not mollycoddle them. I put them at the centre of their situation and praised them for their strengths.
I don’t believe in giving up on people and of course, this can be quite naive. Many, many people can be beyond help. That doesn’t mean that we can’t try, can’t talk to them, can’t support them at this point in their journey. It is hard and there are days I come home from work and go straight to my bed and want to hide away, because I know I have to get up again in the morning and go back to the same place, but I will never have a person believe that one more person has given up on them.
I only have a couple of weeks left of my second year of university to go and I’m struggling to get motivated! I have just completed my first 100 day social work placement but still have a lot of paperwork and essays to catch up on before my deadlines creep up on me. I need to remember that each word I write is important and the grades now count towards what I will be given when I graduate this time next year. Just one final push then I can learn how to relax for the summer, when I can just go to work and volunteer without having to worry about assignments for a couple of months 🙂
“Each one must give as he has decided in his heart, not reluctantly or under compulsion, for God loves a cheerful giver.” – 2 Corinthians 9:7
I think what I’m trying to reflect on here is that while we don’t have much money, there is still so much to be thankful for. I’ve been given this amazing opportunity to study what I love and I might not have much in my purse but there are things we have that money cannot buy. I should be more disciplined with myself but I’ve learned that the odd night out or night avoiding studying shouldn’t be viewed as a treat or perk, but a necessity to keep our minds balanced and strong and prevent burn-out. 
silhouette scribbles 