Even Jesus

/ johnlmalone

Perhaps the stars weren’t aligned.

Perhaps it’s in the DNA.

Either way the reboot sags,

flaccid as a spent condom.

It walks around the ABC studio

with its hands clasped behind its back,

that gesture of defeat,

It is laboured, lassitudinous, much in need

of a cattle prod up the ass, as my old

friend, twelve years in, would say.

A bit severe perhaps.

It’s lost its zest, its zing,

It’s dead on its feet.

Even Jesus couldn’t resuscitate it.

28 thoughts on “Even Jesus”

  1. Sorry, John, I got a bit lost in this one. It’s the line about the ABC studio that confused me. I thought I understood the rest. All the “failure to reboot” images are very effective. But that one line made me think I was on the wrong track. Am I?

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  2. No. You’re right. I may have left out a step. I was referring to ‘Spicks and Specks’ which is recorded in the ABC studios— I hope you’re not a fan — but I watched it last night and was very disappointed. Maybe it was me but I found it flat and uninspired. I used to love the other seasons —

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  3. Ahhh. I see! I used to love Spicks and Specks before Adam Hills moved to the UK. Then we stopped watching it. I was interested to see he was back but the house we’re currently living in has no TV and I have got into the habit of focusing on blogging in the evenings. So I don’t think to look up iview. Sorry to hear it fell flat. Are Myf Warhurst and Alan Brough still the team leaders?

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    • actually I thought it was Chinese too but I googled it and the saying is attributed to the Greek philosopher Heraclitus but most of us think it’s Chinese in origin; either way the maxim seems to hold true; will be interesting to see hiw the ‘Friends’ reunion rates 🙂

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      • Lol. I think it’s a dangerous plan. Nostalgia is best left as is – the misty perfection of past beauty. Joey and Phoebe, Monica and Chandler, Ross and Rachel… let them all rest in the rainbowed peace of memory. That’s my instinct.

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  5. here, when a show has lost it’s spark or gone to far, they say it’s ‘jumped the shark’. this is in reference to and episode of the old show ‘happy days’, when it had a popular character, fonzie, literally jump over a shark in the water on an episode. the show went downhill from there

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  6. Well penned John. Mentally I combined the two images of a cattle prod and a spent condom. I must say, the result was a disconcerting mess!
    In times gone, when we only had a few channels to choose from, everyone watched more or less the same thing and it would be a topic of conversation. These days, mention to your friends that you are hooked on something in it’s fifth series, and they won’t have even heard of it.😊

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  7. I may not know specifically this show, but I know the feeling of being disappointed in a reboot, and yes, the lines, “Either way the reboot sags, / flaccid as a spent condom” is perfect!

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  10. That shows a used condominium will now be my go-to line for television that used to rock my world. As it is, a brilliant line, even Jesus couldn’t help but chuckle at. Here’s fo new television that stirs. 😀

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