Kate Terence's Letters from London

“I’m so glad I’m a vicar”, he said

As he brushed a crumb from his jacket,

“If I keep charging that rent

And nothing gets spent

I’m sure I’ll make quite a packet.”

“It’s quite a nuisance to keep having tenants,

But I suppose we must all pay our penance

And since I’m not short of a penny

And two tenants aren’t many

One can cope with the visiting peasants.”

“I do hope that they bring their own tea

God knows, they can’t look to me

God has told me to keep

All my money, life’s cheap.

I collect many things, don’t you see?”

Kate Terence 1997

Oh, now come and sit with me

And tell me all about yourself

I’m dying to know, are you just shy

Or is it simple arrogance?

A mixture of the two, so why…

What great delicious eloquence.

Were you happy as a child?

Did you dislike your parents?

Was growing up a real bore?

Do you just thrive on self defence?

Am I probing to a core?

Or are you sitting on the fence?

Did you buy your shoes abroad?

Or do you like the British buys?

You dress so well, you have such style

Is this just common sense?

Or have I bored you for a while?

Do you think I talk nonsense?

Well, fuck it, I just thought I’d try

To make you look at me … just once

I s’pose I’ve failed, well never mind

I s’pose you think I’m rather dense

I’ll ask elsewhere – oh what a grind

I really thought you had some sense.

Kate Terence 1993