Off the Charts

Evan is off the charts, growth charts that is. Most of you already know this. The funny thing is that we are applying for health insurance and I received a call a few days ago from the underwriter. She wanted to verify Evan's height and weight. After I assured her that indeed my 2 1/2 year old did actually weigh 41 lbs and was 37 inches tall. She proceeded to inform me that he was not within their guidelines. I'm sure that she could hear my laughter coming from the other end of the phone. "You mean to tell me that you wont insure my kid because he is too fat?" "He has a 22 inch head if that makes any difference. Did you see how small my other kids were? He eats the same stuff. " Well needless to say, I had to check this one out myself. And it is for real, my Baby is 75% for height and at least 120% for weight. When you look at Evan, you don't see an obese kid. He has no rolls of fat and just looks normal, but for a 3 1/2 year old, not a 2 year old. In some sort of odd way, this makes me feel better about my weight because now I am convinced the reason I weigh so much is because I just have large dense bones just like my Little Evan!! By the way, we were approved and will again have health insurance after a 2 year long break in coverage. Now my kids can get sick and my husband can fall off the roof as much as he wants!

Utah

Utah is a great place to visit. Not only did we see all of Patrick's family, but some great friends too. The Dinosaur Museum, The Discovery Gateway, Cafe Rio, Draper Temple Open House, Watching the Inauguration, eating dinner with some of my closest friends, were well worth the trip. We came. We saw. We almost rolled the SUV driving home. I say We but it was more of the royal We. It was actually me. Patrick drove for an hour (I am usually the designated driver because I can stay awake). The air was thick with smog. We had such a great time with all of our friends, some of whom let us sleep at our house with all of our kids. Gratefully, they are well behaved for the most part. Yes, I was whining in my last post, but I see things clearly now. I am in for a great blessing soon. One thing is for sure, I definitely appreciate clean air, bathtubs, heat, friends, The Spirit guiding me, and all that I have now. My house is not important. My friends are. The things I miss about Utah are not things, but People.

On Vacation

...and I am updating my blog, kind of. Utah is filled with friends and memories and dinosaurs. On it's land, I own a very beautiful home that God said to leave. Lehi and I have a thing or two in common. Unfortunately, I should not have stepped foot in my house today. Laman and Lemuel is more like it! Did I murmur today? You bet I did! (For those of you who have not read the Book of Mormon, Lehi left his riches and homeland to embark on an adventure, much to the disgust of his two oldest boys, Laman and Lemuel). Now I realize that in Oregon I can breathe clean air, gather chicken eggs, teach a gaggle of teenage girls everything I've learned, and let my children ride a bus to school. But I don't own a home. Can't paint the walls or plant bulbs. To this girl who got a degree in interior design, it's pure torture to not "touch" her space. So I am venting...I love Oregon. It's so much better than Utah in my humble opinion. Just wish we didn't have to crawl through the brambles of life to get back here...
This stove, commercial style, convection oven, griddle, gas burners...I miss this stove (the art above, my husbands handywork to hide nail holes).

I miss this bathtub more than anything in that house. I installed a chandiler over the tub just so I could have better lighting to read by...memories...

The MEAN MOM

Ok, ah ha moment yesterday that is quite profound, not really. But seriously, as I am steaming mad about my kids and how they don't care about anything in the house I came to the realization that I am just doing what our Father in Heaven is trying to do. The games lose all the pieces, the milk gets left out. They don't care if they leave their muddy shoes in the bathroom sink...obviously I am not getting through to them that I am not here to be their maid ( yes I just said that and yes I can hear my own mother saying that in my head). What I told them was it was my job to make them competent adults and not to make their life easy, they nodded in awe. Oh so true that our own Father in Heaven is trying to teach us the same thing. He is not here to make everything easy for us. We wouldn't grow to become like him. My ultimate goal is not to live with my kids and their husbands and do all their laundry while they live in my basement for the rest of my life! I want them to be able to figure things out on their own and come to me for advice, not a bail out everytime I turn around. Father is the same way. I ask him for advice all the time. I ask for a bail out too, but more often than not, he lets me go through it instead of bailing me out of my disasters. It truly does build character. So I am a "bad" mom. I make them clean their bathrooms, make their lunches, put their clothes away, set the table, unload the dishes, get their own snacks and sometimes their own dinner, find their own shoes, pick out their own outfits, suffer consequences of not doing their homework. I am so MEAN!! Someday they'll appreciate it when their college roomate can't iron or do laundry and eat ramen everynight, and they will cry to their mommy everyday and ask for money every week. I am not raising one of those kids!!

60 Days!

I did it!!! Even with an injury twice and sickness and soreness and vacation. It wasn't easy. Sometimes I had to fake enthusiasm until I got into it. But in the end, everyday was worth it. It isn't coming off fast, but what is coming off will stay off. To be perfectly honest, I lost weight even during the holidays. Over 23 lbs. It's not because I stopped eating either. Hate to admit it, but I think I have had some form of chocolate everyday. Stacey and I had Chocolate Lava Cake at the Chart House today. I had a cupcake and a brownie at last nights activity....and it doesn't stop there. Now that my clothes are no longer fitting and I am losing weight in all the right places, I now feel committed to eat better. All the Christmas treats are out of the house. Instead of eating frozen blueberries and chocolate, I will just eat frozen Blueberries. Sugar can be extremely addicting. So my reward for doing this is not a day off, but a cool new pair of shoes to wear to the gym. Shoes are usually not my friends. Either I am bare foot or wearing flip flops or Uggs...but these are freaking awesome (and I got them on clearance online!) Last night, at the gym was much better. Normal people were there. If you have to put makeup on to go to the gym, then you are going for the wrong reason. Buy a very large "rock" to put on your finger to ward off weird guys. The only thing that I decided this time at the gym is that it doesn't matter how much chlorine they put in that hot tub, I am not getting in! Gross...sweaty hairy yuck!

The Gym (the journey begins)

Note to self; do not go to the gym again between the hours of 4:30 and 6:30 pm. Another note to self, make sure that what you are wearing is tight enough that it wont start sliding off....made you laugh didn't I? Never in my wildest dreams did I ever consider that something that I wore to the gym might be a little too big, but I guess that is what happens if you lose weight. Don't worry, nothing was exposed. Not only am I going past my target heart rate ( I am sure that is bad right), but I actually get quite the surge of adrenaline around 30 minutes. The runners on either side of me were almost up to speed with me...I was going a little slower and walking, but on an incline...the wimps were doing it on level ground. Waaaaaahhhnneees! So what I am trying to say, is I survived the gym but would rather get up at 4:45 in the morning and go with the die hards then have to get oogled at by sweaty fat men with back hair....can you say scary picture? Ok, enough judgment. Good to see them there, but I will feel more comfortable with more women than men. Tomorrow morning it is. By the way, on the 14th, it will be 60 days of working out in a row...I'm on the wagon and am not getting off any time soon.

Making and Keeping Covenants....

Today I am grateful for a man that took me to the Temple to complete the necessary ordinances that would allow me to return to the presence of my Father in Heaven. Not only did I marry Kevin on this day 12 years ago, but I received all the necessary ordinances to gain eternal life. For this one supreme gift, I am truly blessed beyond measure. Although we didn't have much time together, what we had was glorious and fruitful. Patrick and I were also wed here. The temple to me is a pillar of hope in my life. In my mind, it represents home to me. Within it's walls, I feel a physical change occur that can only be described as a correction of energy. This world we live in is so chaotic and so much can grab our attention, that I feel an overwhelming calmness when I enter. Remembering what is expected, and what will be given is only one of the reasons I go. Along with all my other goals for the year, both Patrick and I are making goals that include the temple. Patrick is going to be a worker and I am trying to go twice a month. Once on my own and once with him. It seems that all the trials and tribulations seem but small pebbles when I remember the perspective of eternity....So today I reflect on this wonderful gift that I live so close, that I am worthy to enter, and that my children are old enough to not make it such a hardship to leave them. I need it's power more than I think I do.

Ode to Fat Pants

Two big garbage bags are going to some Goodwill down the street. No longer will my closet be cluttered with tent like shirts and sweaters or anything with numbers too big to count on two hands...it's over. My love affair with fat is gone. I don't need it anymore. Am I the size that I want to be or know that I can be, No! But I will be achieving that goal in the near future. My belt is on the last hole, so I must go to the store soon...kind of a cool milestone for me. Maybe it was seeing the cruise pics that I took 3 years ago that rocked me into reality that I was not looking good, but I have no desire to ever look that way again...Am I addicted, YOU BET!! Yesterday, I even broke my cardinal rule and took 2 showers. ( I have the worlds most sensitive skin and I dry up like a 3 month old Christmas tree if I am not careful..) Having a morning YW meeting through my schedule out of wack so I didn't work out until 5:00. I couldn't very well go scrapbooking all sweaty...and I am soaked, hair wet, clothes sopping when I get done. So Fat Pants, you are going to be someone else's crutch. Don't worry, your friends, the skinny pants will be joining you soon in the bargain bin at Goodwill. They will be replaced by designer jeans that will probably get worn on a daily basis because said owner will be so glad to fit into fashionable clothes again. Fat pants, 5 kids created the need for you, but they don't get a say anymore. Ho Ho's are your friends, along with mash potatoes made with cream, but the owner of your baggy waist doesn't need your comfortable roominess. She has no "muffin top" to make her turn to you in her hour of need. Good bye, my wicked friend. You are no longer needed....

Politics

I am reading a very interesting series of books right now. The Great and Terrible, by Chris Stewart, is about the end of days. It consists of 6 volumes of Tom Clancy style writing. It's very intriguing and spiritual too. When I went on CNN today and saw this picture, I couldn't help but reflect that no matter if you don't like some of these men or all of these men, we still live in a great nation. We have rights and protections that no one on earth can claim. Freedom is definitely not free. But seriously, it is only through Christ, our Savior, that we are truly free. So in a few days, some of you will be upset and some you will shout with joy but all of us should remember that we come from the best place on earth...

Top Ten Things I Want to Accomplish in 2009

10. Be moved into a home that we will stay in until the kids leave for college, whether we rent or own.
9. Don't let the kids eat in the car.
8. Have people over at least once a month.
7. Replenish food storage.
6. Get rid of excess stuff.
5. Exercise everyday.
4. Hit goal weight.
3. Write book.
2. Open studio.
1. Random Acts of service everyday.

So this is my list. Some of these are really pushing the limits for me. But most of these, I have already started before the new year. Tomorrow, I am going through the kids rooms and tossing clothes and toys and deciding which of the hundreds of books to keep, give away, or box up. I will try to be more social at home. I am social, just need to invite people over more. The food storage actually got used this year ( got to love the recession), so it is time to build it up again. Too bad my favorite refried beans are gone from the cannery. :( The kids wont be getting any happy meals either so keeping the car clean should be easier. I have already exercised every day for almost 2 months, so I will just keep that going. The eating thing is hard. I am a good cook but trying to lose weight while my family eats normally is easier said than done. Writing the book, well, I am going to start outlining in the summer, so that when November rolls around I will actually complete a novel. My dream is to open a studio and hold dance classes for young and old with the idea that it is completely non-profit. There is nothing quite as sad as undeveloped talent because of a lack of money. The arts are so important to kids. I really want the chance to make a difference for these kids out there that just need a chance. Especially in these hard economic times. Schools are falling short, and kids need to have a creative outlet or our world will turn into a big ball of beige...who wants that? I plan on giving some sort of service everyday beyond the typical motherly duties I already perform. It is quite a challenge sometimes, but I did this back in September, and it was a very joyful experience for me, so I am trying that again. I really want my children to see that if you look outside of yourself, you find yourself...so here's to the new year. May we all become a little better.

New Years Dance

Hindsight, they say, is 20/20. Last night as I watched all the youth from this side of the river shake what their mama gave them, I came to a realization that nothing has changed in 20 years. Young teenage boys are still awkward. Girls still giggle and wear weird clothes. They are classed in the same categories, the nerds, the jocks, the bad girls and boys, the good girls and boys and all the spectrum's in between. I saw "the flirt" who was wearing something that was a little too adult for her. I saw the dancer guy with his white suspenders that all the girls flocked to. I saw the guy that just didn't care what anyone else thought and danced his funny little heart out. But the thing that disheartened me was this young lady that I teach who had not been asked to dance all night. Seriously, wish I had a big stick to beat over these boys heads. This girl is gorgeous, petite, beautiful hair, eyes and and teeth. She is hot by all standards. So men have not changed at all. They still can't get up enough nerve to ask the pretty girl out unless she is completely outgoing and willing to ask the guys to dance....such a crying shame! All of you mothers out there with boys, teach them how to ask a girl to dance. Rarely, will she say no. No excuses! Don't let them sit by the food all night! I can remember with great clarity my experiences at dances. I had fun, I had my heart broke, I got asked to dance, and I got shunned. Oh to be a teenager again...no thank you! But I love them and am so glad that I get to serve them at this time in my life. It was neat to see "my girls" at the dance. We bonded over our mutual distaste for heartbreakers....