Spring...time for a fresh start.

I fell off the band wagon in March. Two weeks I only exercised 4 days a week. And then last week, while I was in Utah, I didn't even put on my New Balance shoes once...I was a slacker! Why did I break this great habit I have had since November? Well most of it had to do with stress and lack of sleep. And the rest, well I just needed a break. And I got one over Spring Break. Every single day I sat in the bathtub for an hour and read. Not only did I finish "Sara" but I also started and finished "The Glass Castle" and "Mary Martha and Me." My mind is full of juicy tid bits and quotes from these great books. I spent any spare moment reading instead of sweating.

Today I jumped on the bandwagon again full force. I have my gym membership for one more month and I plan on taking full advantage of it. So today I tangled with the elliptical. Four minutes into it, I was going 7.4 miles and hour and had a severe case of burning lungs, but I couldn't stop! Why you ask, well I was listening to some pretty serious 80's dance music and I just had to go fast! 20 minutes later, I was still keeping my pace and I hadn't keeled over yet, so I kept going. 43 minutes into it, I looked up to see a "vision" of what I could be like next year if I wasn't careful. You see, in the treadmill in front of me was this "hippie chick" complete with crocheted bag hanging from the side bar, tank top, no bra and unshaven legs...I just couldn't go on! I moved to the treadmill after 2 minutes of enduring her sight. I know, I must be shallow, but I am moving into the "hippie house" next month and I fear that all the peace love and joy of that place will turn me into a hippie. I promise to always shave my legs, wear a bra (gross!!) and listen to 80's dance music! Tomorrow, I will venture out again and try desperately to keep going and I will hide the chocolate chips!

Grammy Great

We all, at some time in our lives, think about what the end will bring for us. Death can be sad or freeing, depending on length of life or things accomplished. It can also bring joy or pain depending on who you ask. Lucille Tate was Patrick's Mother's Mother. Born in 1917, she has obviously seen alot of change in her life time. I was privileged to meet her days before our wedding reception. If any of you have watched Pride and Prejudice, you would truly understand the statement that Grammy Great was an accomplished lady. Not only did she complete various degrees, raise 4 wonderful children, be a supportive wife, but she also was a great writer and illustrator. Her accomplishments included 3 biographies of apostles of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints, but also other volumes on her father, herself, and Jon Huntsman. Her circle of influence spanned far and wide. As I was preparing the displays for the viewing, I marveled at the many accomplishments in her life. Her own son spoke of his mother as being as imaginative as Anne of Green Gables. I must confess that I too have been categorized similarly. Lucille was the epitome of what I want my life to be like. She received an art degree in California, married a wonderful man, raised 4 children, overcame debilitating depression, went back to school for her bachelors and masters and eventually received an honorary doctorate degree from BYU, wrote and illustrated books, was a wonderful seamstress and interior designer who worked for the church occasionally. Her needlework was flawless. She also served 2 missions, one with her husband and one with her sister when she was in her 80's. She wrote in her journal daily and included drawings and watercolors as well...almost like a blog! But she maintained balance. Her Grammy days were legendary among her grandchildren as they recall tea parties and fun times with Grandma and Grandpa. She took naps and realized she couldn't do everything and maintained structure in her household. If you are feeling a little envious or in awe...just wait...it gets better. Presiding at her funeral was the President of the Quorum of the Twelve Apostles, Boyd K Packer. (That is like the VP of the Mormons for those of you who aren't LDS) Elder L. Tom Perry was also present (one of the 12 Apostles of our church). President Packer spoke of his love of Lucille and her thorough research for his biography. They spoke every Monday and she and her husband became good friends of the Packers... then, the First Presidency (like the Pope) wrote a letter to be read at her funeral. Indeed she was an elect lady. An example to all, but I especially felt close to her. My "inheritance" was her sewing kit and her scarves. Her talents and aspirations are similar to mine. I can only hope that one day, others will rise up and call me blessed and praise my name as well. Lucille will be missed. She was an amazing inspiration to all that met her, but I am so glad that she was able to finish her course and endure to the end. She and George are looking down on us all, cheering us on through the good and the bad that we all must pass through...we love you Lucille!

Not a Morning Person?

Neither am I. But I am turning over a new leaf. Life has required that of me lately. If you asked me to stay up until 2:00am, I could do it without even batting an eyelash. I always get so much done after the kids go to bed, but....I need to sleep. So I have been scouring all my old magazines, Internet articles, and advice from friends to change this habit that is affecting so much of my life. What I am finding is some pretty interesting stuff.
So what I have come to discover is work within your limitations. I get this one! I always have energy at night and during the day, so I have started prepping lunch items for my children so that they can put their own lunches together and life still runs smoothly. Another little trick, is to prepare that smoothie at night. I love my Blueberry Smoothie with spinach. It makes me feel good just drinking it. But in the morning, I reach for the thing that requires the least amount of energy...and it never gets made. So put all the ingredients in the blender and stick it in the fridge before you go to bed...how novel is that?! It actually worked and the blueberries were still half frozen, the way I like and most of the mess was already put away from last night...
Now for the really doozy....I am getting myself out of bed at 4:45am to go to the gym, while I still can(since we are moving). I didn't do much of anything last week except complain that I had no time to go to the gym. So I did it. I got up after an agonizing night of insomnia and went to the gym with the diehards in the morning. I get back in time to make sure the kids are up and getting ready for school and enjoy my day.
Next, insomnia....I have been struggling with this since January. I just can't sleep at night. My brain is going 100 miles and hour and I can't shut it off. No...I don't drink any caffeine, or take any medication that would keep me awake. Being a light sleeper also is effecting my sleep patterns too. Everytime a mouse trap goes off ( they go off almost nightly....ewww but we live in the country, what do you do?), my husband snores, or one of the kids moves upstairs, I can hear it. When Patrick is gone, I just crank up the Enya and off to sleep I go...but when he is sleeping right beside me, I think I will have to start using my ipod...I need sleep. I know why I am not sleeping...stress...but I am learning to let things go and it still isn't helping. What I really need is a good hot bath and a book, but since that is not an option for the next 1 1/2 months, I must find some other trick to get my self to sleep....

If anyone has any other novel ideas to make mornings easier for me...feel free to comment. I obviously need it!

C Cubed

Christian Charles Carter-Laing was born today, 10 years ago. He is a joy to have as a son. God smiled on me when he sent me this child. He was quite a surprise child, being born 14 months after his big sister. Madeline was not an easy baby. When I found out I was pregnant, I was happy, but extremely scared about having two so close together when I could barely handle my Madeline. I remember vividly coming home from the hospital with him and just weeping because I didn't know how I was going to do it. Madeline wasn't sleeping through the night yet, and was extremely high maintenance. Well, Christian proved to be the best baby in the whole wide world! Seriously, I have never heard of a better baby. He was like clockwork that kid. He slept through the night, from 8 to 8 at 6 weeks. He nursed like a pro. He slept all the time and was content. He never cried. He actually would sit still on my lap at church. God smiled on me for sure!
Now he is 10....where did the time go? He loved moons and trains as a toddler and Kevin would take him out to look at the moon and listen to the "choo choo" whenever it passed by. When he threw a fit, which wasn't very often, he would spin around like the cartoon character Tasmanian Devil. He walked at 13 months and loved playing in the sink and in our pool in Sacramento. He wasn't scared of his Daddy when he looked awful after having Chemo. He is an introvert for sure. Not shy, but a deep thinker. He has always been very close to the spirit world. He is tender. We call him our Little GA (general authority). His prayers will leave you speechless. He has always done well in school, but not because of trying, but because the kid is a genius. I don't say this lightly. Madeline is very driven and at the top of her class and things come easy to her, but Christian is a genius. He doesn't think like a normal person. He is an old soul. The things that entertain his mind are things like world peace, generating clean energy, the systems of the body, etc... This kid just floors me on a consistent basis. His creativity will either breed him for Engineering or a Doctor of some sort. Although his "absentminded professor" ways get him into trouble frequently, he is learning that turning in his homework is important. He isn't concerned with being number one. He isn't competitive. He is a natural at music. He is already composing his own music. He has like 4 invention notebooks floating around. He loves to draw and create. He is socially ok too...not a bizarre nerd, but just a normal kid in that way. He will be attempting Football in the fall. Patrick says that he is a good basketball player and he got his own hoop for Christmas. Soccer was a futile attempt to get that kid to run. He didn't see the point, but was an amazing goalie. He has a good arm and plays football during recess, so we are letting him try it this year. But I worry that he isn't going to be able to handle the intense practices and getting hurt...we shall see. He might surprise us.
He is going through a Long Hair phase right now. He is a very laid back child and I can only think of one thing that he does that annoys me, he is slow as tar. He doesn't have the ability to do anything in a quick manner. He is too busy analyzing and storing all the information in his head to worry about time! Oh, and he has no tact. He just says what is on his mind and needs to learn how to censor himself sometimes. That will come with maturity. But at least he is honest. I don't think he could lie if he wanted to.
The best thing about Christian is his ability to love. He pops out of bed in the morning just to get to my bed first. He knows I will let him come lay with me and snuggle for a few minutes if he gets dressed quick. His love language is physical. We actually have to reprimand him because he tries to hug us while we are eating, talking, etc...he is learning that some people don't like to be touched and that he must ask permission to hug certain people. It seems so foreign to him. I completely understand this, because Physical is my love language. It feeds his soul to be held. He is learning. He is also a service giver. His greatest persute in life is world peace...I am completely serious. This kid is going to go places.
We love this "little man" (that was his nick name when he was young because he was so mature..an old soul) who has turned into "big brain boy" with his astounding intelligence that is too mature for his 10 year old brain. I often marvel at the fact that God allowed me to be his mother. He is one amazing spirit and I am his biggest fan!

Ah Ha Moment...

I find it interesting that in the throws of an intense workout, somehow I get these extremely profound answers to questions that have been plaguing me for months now. ....had to delete the rest because it was just too uncomfortable to read...

The Pride Cycle

Beware of Pride...click here

This talk by Ezra T. Benson is a great reminder for us all. It's been on my mind lately. I recognize that I need to work on this and all of us do to some extent or another. Pride is the root of so many sins. I have been prideful in some things that didn't even realize, so today, I am making a more concerted effort to be humble and faithful. I have been such a catastrophic thinker lately and I think we would all do well to remember that God is actually in control and is humbling his people so we can be one step closer to Him. He is preparing us to build His Zion. We must repent. It doesn't matter if we lose our homes, our livelihood's, our things. It doesn't matter if we are right and they are wrong. It doesn't serve us to be defensive or questioning of God or his methods. What matters is what our hearts hold and what we are willing to give up for God. He has so many things in store for us! Glory in that! Glory that this is a cycle of love and of chastening....with a glorious and wondrous reward at the end.

The Newt

We have two creeks on our property. The sound is extremely soothing, especially in the spring when they are flowing full force. On one of the creek paths, there used to be a pond. Unfortunately, they last tenant bulldozed the damn and now we have more of a wetland area. At night, the sound of the frogs are deafening! These creeks are teaming with creatures. On my kids walk home, they discovered a few dead creatures along the road. Surprisingly, they found a live one next to these deceased family members. They hurried home and showed me this little salamander like thing. He was cute for sure. Next came the hundreds of questions that Mom's are supposed to somehow magically know. I had no clue what this thing was or if they could keep it or what it ate. So in desperation I told them to google the thing. Sure enough, they discovered what it was and what it ate and it's habitat. They set up a swimming pool for the guy and a tunnel and a little house in a plastic shoe box. Christian dug for earthworms and centipedes for this little newt to eat. My bathroom is trashed with mud. But I could care less. These kids just learned some very valuable lessons about the Internet, their habitat, used their problem solving skills and were extremely compassionate. It's moments like these that you overlook the mud, and look into their sweet faces filled with wonder and excitement and realize that this is what it is all about. My kids are learning....

My New Year's Goals, Revisited.

So the past two months have been nothing short of an upheaval for the Laing Family. They were filled with incredibly wonderful things and incredibly horrid things. But I am not going to list a play by play for you. No need to relive the gore...but I haven't looked at my goals in a while and am feeling like a huge slacker because I only worked out 4 days last week and ate to sooth my emotional horror last week too...double whammy!

So my goals...
1. Moved into a home...well we are one step closer. Now we have to be out for sure by May 1st. Before the beginning of this month, we were seriously considering staying all summer to plant our garden and get one more season out of this lush land...but our Landlord has to sell her house. She needs the money. I am not willing or able to stage her home with 5 kids and all my stuff. Granted, this is my profession. But it is like asking a Surgeon to put a band aid on a gaping wound!
2.Well, the kids ate in the car on our trip, but not fast food. I was careful. I packed food for the trip there and we got out and ate on the way back. They have had a total of 2 meals in the car since January 1st. That is like a record or something!
3.I didn't have anyone over in February. We were going to have a party, but that just didn't materialize. Patrick wanted a quiet affair for his 40th. January, we had a big Carter family dinner for Gayle's Birthday complete with Cherry Chocolate Cake.
4. I have started to build up our food storage with the money Patrick's Parents gave us for Christmas. Unfortunately, we are have to eat it just as quickly as we buy it. We still have a fair amount, but not the good stuff like veggies and fruit and canned goods like soup etc and we are woefully short on wheat and oats.
5.Getting rid of excess stuff is now a necessity. I have been purging since January. Trips to Goodwill are frequent. Bags of toys and clothes, towels, boxes of books, and just excess trash are all leaving my house. Patrick is getting on the band wagon too. When we move this time, we are not going to take 3 loads full!
6.Exercise every day, well I have averaged 6 days a week. I could do better, but since I never exercised consistently before, this is like a major miracle. This week I messed up and only exercised 4 days, but their were plenty of 7 day weeks to make up for it. I felt so lousy too. I will never do that again!
7.Hitting my goal weight...this will take until at least September to reach. I am actively trying to modify my lifestyle so I wont be so tempted to eat. I have discovered the elliptical as of last week. I never really liked it, but have discovered the power and gratification that I get when I look down and realize that in 45 min I have gone 4.5 miles and lost 550 calories. It is going to be far easier to shed this weight if I exercise smarter and not harder. Also I get to use my arms and no one likes to see Emily swing her fast walker arms on the treadmill! Truly scary! I save the treadmill for the last 15 min and walk like Beyonce. I am fierce !!
8.Writing a book...have done nothing with that. I have gained some experiences and had some pretty amazing dreams that might just end up in a book someday, but for now, no book writing. Although, I have looked into the process of publishing an article in the Ensign.
9.Open a studio...again, not an option at this point. I can't say that I would have the full support of my family behind this one right now. But I am looking into volunteering for a cheer squad of middle schoolers or helping with a local dance team. Does that count? An interesting side note, is that having thought about opening up a company has broadened my outlook and I am actively pursuing going back to school to get a degree in some service oriented job. Either Social Work, Counseling or Nursing...
10.My random acts of service everyday is going quite well actually. Sometimes I have to actively plan this and other times, they just happen. I have averaged about 6 days a week, but if I count the days that I do more than one thing, then I probably have extra. Obviously if I am planning, they aren't really random, but still service and still rewarding. I don't think I would have lived through the last 2 months without being able to give everyday. It's what keeps me from cracking!

So my challenge to you reader, go back to your list of "habit changes, goals, or plans" and see if you have done them. If not, then why. And begin again. I realized that I am still on my path and definitely one step closer to becoming who I really am meant to be. And isn't that why we are all here?

Here is my Super Hero...