*If you haven’t watched the most recent episode of Grey’s Anatomy, I apologize that there is a spoiler alert in this post - just don’t read the last paragraph...okay?!
On last Grey’s Anatomy last week, the opening scene is of Callie and Arizona in marriage counseling and the counselor said something to the effect of: people go to marriage counseling for one of two reasons (1) because both parties want to make the marriage work or (2) one party wants to end the marriage and they need help telling the other person. After going through it, I could not agree more.
To say that I have been MIA is an understatement, and to be honest with you, I haven’t really felt that bad about it. I have been loving life, family and friends and traveling. With my busy summer, documenting anything has been my last priority, as you can tell from my mostly neglected instagram feed.
Part of why I haven’t written is because, well, I am still really devastated about what happened and I don’t really have anything nice to say, so I should say nothing at all, right? I am a true believer in ‘faking it until you make it,’ (or any variation of that) and while I have been keeping myself super busy and surrounded by love, deep down I am still really raw, angry and hurt.
Anyway, let me relive the last 6 months of my life - wow, has it really been that long: may, june, july, august, september, october - wow, it really has been that long! Bring on 2015....please be better than 2014!
**Right before my life hit the fan, I went to Reno to visit one of my cousins and my grandparents for a long weekend.
**Then my life hit the fan.
**Memorial Day weekend I went to San Clemente with my mom for another long weekend. We spent too much time in the sun (seriously, it can happen, I got the worst sun burn of my life, no joke), we went to Disneyland with friends and family and we spent lots of quality time reflecting and loving on me.
**I went to Santa Barbara for the first time for one of my favorite friend’s Bachelorette parties.
**I went to Lake Tahoe to celebrate my brothers 16th birthday.
**I practiced Reiki and started seeing a counselor for myself. Nope, I am not ashamed to admit it!
**I went to Indiana for the AGD Convention and extended my trip to visit one of my very best friends and meet her sweet baby boy!
**I moved into my very own, grownup, big-girl apartment. I bought all new furniture and was settled and unpacked in less than two weeks. I guess that is what happens when you don’t move anything and buy all new stuff… (?)
**I visited my sister and her family in Calistoga, more than once. Our moms finally got to meet and of course they loved each other!
**I went on my first date in 7 years. Yup! That’s right! I have already been on dates! ha!
**I was laid off from my first ever startup and have recently started working again - It didn’t take me too long to find a new job...I hope this one is a keeper!
**I went to three weddings in the span of five weeks, my mom was my date to one of them.
**I spent the weekend on the lake that I grew up on with the family of one of my best friends - and no, my best friend wasn’t there...it was just me and her aunt and uncle!
**I went to Lake Tahoe with my mom and one of her best friends for a long weekend to celebrate the North Star Art & Wine Festival...oh and my birthday!
**I turned 27 and had a fabulous time celebrating! All of the dinners, a Giants game, lots of A's games (that's what I do for my birthday!) and lots and lots of love!
**I started sewing with my best friends mom! I made my mom and myself these adorable robes! My moms was supposed to be a birthday gift, but I got too excited and I gave it to her already...her birthday is in December…
**I hosted my first party at my house with about 15 people for my hometown’s Art & Wine Festival. It was a blast!
**I have spent tons of time catching up with old friends and creating new ones.
**I sat in the front row at a 49er game!
**I went to San Clemente again to visit my family, see friends and cruise to Catalina Island.
**I went to a great friend’s lake house for some much needed relaxing and girl-only time.
**I went to Sausalito, San Francisco and the Russian River with my family, all just for fun.
As you have probably notices, all of these start with 'I.' They all start with 'I' because 'I am doing me,’ as my best friend likes to say (and I may or may not have said that during an interview…whatever, I got the job, who cares, right?!) and I am doing what I want and what makes me feel good. 'I' is by design.
This has been a summer/fall I will never forget. I have struggled. I have loved, hard. I have burst into uncontrollable laughter. I have had bouts of sadness and grief. I have played. I have reconnected with friends and family. Regardless of the circumstance, this has been one of the best times of my life.
The last scene of the Grey’s Anatomy episode was of Callie and Arizona, again, in their counseling session where Arizona tells Callie how much she loves her and how Callie is her rock, etc. And then Callie begins to cry and tells Arizona that the last 30 days (they were on a break) had been the best of her life and that she had never felt so alive and so free.
I have had the best summer of my life, and I feel so free and alive. I have turned into an entirely new person - and I love me!
*wow, I just used Grey’s Anatomy in a life lesson….maybe I shouldn’t love me…! :-)
