Tag: Personal

To Be Alone

Published on by Lavender1 Comment

Never feel too good in crowds,
With folks around, when they’re playing
The anthems of rape culture loud,
Crude and proud creatures baying
All I’ve ever done is hide
From our times when you’re near me
Honey, when you kill the lights, and kiss my eyes
I feel like a person for a moment of my life

But you don’t know what hell you put me through
To have someone kiss the skin that crawls from you
To feel your weight in arms I’d never use
It’s the God that heroin prays to

It feels good, girl, it feels good [x3]
Oh to be alone with you

There are questions I can’t ask
Now at last the worst is over
See the way you hold yourself
Reel against your body’s borders
I know that you hate this place
Not a trace of me would argue
Honey, we should run away, oh someday
Our baby and her momma
And the damaged love she makes

But I don’t know what else that I would do
Than try to kiss the skin that crawls from you
Than feel your weight in arms I’d never use
It’s the God that heroin prays to

It feels good, girl, it feels good [x3]
Oh to be alone with you

Freedom of Speech

Published on by Lavender16 Comments

First Amendment to the United States Constitution, regarding freedom of speech, freedom of the press, religious freedom, freedom of assembly, and right to petition. Also used to describe related legal cases and issues (e.g. “first amendment argument”).

Warning: This is a vent. 

I’ve always thought of myself as a friendly person at times, sometimes humorous. Apparently, I was given a lesson today. 

I learned that sometimes people cannot or do not want to “take” a joke. I don’t take myself seriously. If I did, I would have been fired by now. Or just walked out. 

The past few months have been traumatizing for me. I lost my promotion, friendship, self esteem. 

You know what got me through? A sense of humor. I couldn’t tell you how many days, hours, nights I spent depressed, seeped into a mindless labyrinth of rumination. 

My mind was warped and couldn’t understand and accept my reality. The waiting game turned into the reappearing/disappearance game. 

– 

Back to my issue, my lesson here is not everyone can take “jokes.” She thought I made jokes at her suspense. She’s thinking I have the “1st Amendment right.” 

Everyone that knows me thinks of me as the most kindness, generous person. (Who sometimes crack jokes.) But no anymore I won’t. Not at the expense of being reported to HR..

From now on, I’ll make jokes here to my friends..
~Lavender 

I love you, 😘

Published on by Lavender20 Comments

Welcome everyone !

This will be my blog filled with my life, loves, rants, and raves. At times I may be under whelmed and overwhelmed.

For my first post, I want to address what is the meaning behind the words of “I love you.” from a guy’s point of view. What makes them say it and why do they say it ?

My life at the moment is full of doubt and uncertainty. I’m beginning to question words but recognize actions….

Please feel free to comment and express yourself.

Thanks for stopping by !

Lavender