It was the Internet, and perhaps a small grammatical misinterpretation that resulted in the entire world’s downfall to the designs of a predatory lender. It seemed that for years, bored ambassadors and politicians had been killing time at work on the pages of a derelict social website for writers of rhetoric, policy debates, and political speeches. And it was while endlessly flaming upon the website’s pages that they had discovered an advertising link to one of those too-good-to-be-true offers, a short-term loan service of a magnitude that offered to plug the holes in a nation’s, or perhaps even the entire planet’s fiscal problems.
The temptation for the world’s leaders to borrow their way out of financial difficulties during the economic downturn of the early third millennium had proven difficult to resist. And as one Secretary of State for a nation hosting the world’s single largest military had noted, the maintenance of peace through Mutual Assured Destruction wasn’t cheap. At first, the Russian and Chinese leaders had objected, if only slightly. But even they relented after receiving several large, back-room real-estate deals.
And so, the Secretary General of the United Nations pressed “send” to an on-line application, and a loan-contract arrived via special courier the very next day. Of course, the contract was in some inscrutable form of financial legalese. A team including some of the world’s best financial experts and attorneys spent several weeks poring through the documents, finally concluding that it was entirely incomprehensible — but that it looked like a good deal. After all, it was just a small loan, a few tens-of-trillions to tide things over for a couple of years. Unfortunately, however, a mysterious comma-shaped mark in the interest-rate section was misinterpreted as a typographical error when it was in fact it was a foreign grammatical reference to a logarithm.
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The spacecraft traveled slowly out of the east, leaving a trail of dark smoke that coagulated into a sooty grime settling toward the sea below. Strangely unaccompanied by the usual show of power that had come to be expected from the nation over whose territory it so openly intruded, its unchallenged shadow leisurely belched black fumes across the breadth of New York’s Long Island. Gradually, it descended, as the eyes of an utterly insolvent nation turned upward to take in this astonishing sight.
Legs extended from the bottom of the craft as it crossed the East River and began to descend more steeply, coming into clear view of the assembling crowds below. The craft’s blackened undercarriage seemed to be scraped and dented in places, with exposed plumbing and a loose piece of metal flapping in the air as it expelled an oily cloud. Forward motion slowed, then stopped, and its destination became clear. A sound something like a cross between a washing-machine’s spin cycle and a noise variously compared to, “a rattling bag of spanners,” or, “skeletons wankin’ in a sardine tin,” filled the air as the giant machine slowed and moved toward the United Nations complex.
The craft touched down in the middle of the central plaza fountain, unceremoniously knocking over the bronze, Single Form sculpture as a swirling plume of soot and fumes billowed onto the Library Building windows. The loud whirling-rattle wound down as the craft settled onto its feet, and a loose piece of metal fell unceremoniously from the ship’s hull, splashing into the now blackened water. A choking cloud obscured the scene as nearby onlookers scrambled to avoid the apparently toxic fumes with varying degrees of success.
Several minutes passed as the smoke cleared. And then, a hatch on the side of the ship suddenly popped out and swung open. A collection of loose objects fell from the opening into the fountain, some floating on the oily water. Then, the hatch quickly slammed closed as a large ramp opened toward the tall, glass-wrapped Secretariat building. Several, small cylindrical objects rolled haphazardly down the ramp, making empty metallic sounds as they dropped onto the driveway. This was followed by the rhythmic clanking of footsteps as a large humanoid robot navigated itself stiffly down the ramp. Moving into full view of the crowds of anxious onlookers who had gathered around the spectacle, the robot looked suspiciously like “Gort,” a character from a 1951 movie.
The silvery humanoid shuffled stiffly toward the front entrance of the Secretariat building, positioning itself next to the door where it proceeded to spray a large patch of yellow onto the glass before inscribing it with a pattern using an energy-beam emanating from its single eye. Subsequently, the robot turned around and moved back to the edge of the steps, where it stood fixed and motionless while the ramp of the spacecraft lifted back into a closed position. The whirling-rattle restarted, gradually increasing to a deafening clatter as an immense plume of asphyxiating, greasy black smoke billowed over gasping onlookers and on across the boulevard. Then, the craft slowly climbed over the General Assembly building, coating it too in a black grime before turning back toward the east.
It would be a long while before the settling cloud of noxious fumes dispersed enough to allow a few brave souls to walk past the apparently inert robot and see what had been left on the glass. What they found was a large, yellow splatter that had etched upon its surface the same words over and over, repeated in the text, kanji, glyphs, and various chicken-scratches of all 6,428 languages of the planet Earth. It read, “By order of the Galactic Resources Economic Exchange Department: Notice of Foreclosure and Eviction – All residents are hereby directed to vacate this planet within 7-days of delivery of this notice. Public auction to be conducted at this location at noon local time one solar-day thereafter.“
Humans had not, perhaps, presented themselves as the best custodians of the little blue sphere known as “Earth”. But now it was no longer theirs upon which to wrest their petty grievances. The auction would take 16-milliseconds, accepting over thirty-million bids before determining a winner. And humanity, as it turned out, had not been so bad when compared to the heavily-leveraged intergalactic consortium of mining investors who were the new landlords. Those who would follow in the sulfurous light of a smoke-filtered sun would look back to the “glory days.” Those times when humans merely fought and stole from one another, and vexed nature — before the mountains had been pushed aside, before the poles were melted and the seas emptied — those times were recalled with splendor. And to have lived in them, for that I am thankful.
suspension and most of the seat-cushioning pulled out from under the upholstery, stoplights were a tip-toe affair. And to my chagrin, I quickly discovered that 12-year old Thai schoolgirls riding double on 50cc mopeds could out-pace me through stop-and-go traffic. But for two years, it would be my only personal transportation.

The sunlight blazed upon her abruptly naked sightedness as she slid dazed by the concussion. Pain from the impact produced an all but senseless fog, a halo aggravating the headache she felt from squinting at each blinding reflection as it glinted in discordant flashes off the passing ice. An almost wild-like displeasure radiated from her burning eyes. Snow goggles slid away, stolen by the power of gravity. She winced at their crash-smashing against several jagged exposed rocks. They looked to her, shattered it seemed, daring her to join them. She tried to; tried to get herself edged back onto the wet-ice covered world around her. Become one with the loosened skis pointed down the slope. Become one with the too-wide profile skis skating without regard for where they were pointed. Her breath froze in trepidation. She stared into the breach and gasped. The DIN-settings would still be regretted when the wreckage was through hurtling down the whiteness confounding them.
The venue was at a small bar, and I had a choice of watching the band play from either the stage floor, or from a few feet farther back at a rail that divided off the legal drinking area. Beer in hand, I stationed myself on the bar side of the rail, and squeezed in a pair of musician’s earplugs as the band-members emerged . The ensuing, thoroughly awe-inspiring performance ranged from hypnotic drones of literally eyeball-rattling doom-metal and a couple of more-or-less restrained pieces, to a J-Pop bit, a round of “thrash” metal, and some hardcore punk. And it was during those punk moments that the stage front crowd spontaneously formed into a small “mosh-pit.”
invested in items that depreciate, such as clothing or a new car, then wealth is sent elsewhere, regardless.
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