marie forleo – Luminous Leanings

from zombie to zen – set boundaries, live with intention, & wake up from information overload

we are living in the age of overwhelm and over-saturation. Between our own brain’s evolution & the system benefiting from capturing our attention, it can feel nearly impossible to live from an awakened heart. If you want to feel good about watching the news or consuming social media, this one’s for you! Welcome to your untapped potential. Ready to learn what’s possible when you drown out the noise, let in the silence and stillness, and learn the secret language of your own intuitive wisdom?

Luminous Leanings · From Zombie to Zen: Set Boundaries, Live with Intention, & Wake Up from Information Overload

Listen to this blog post like a podcast!

“What you consume, you become.”
glennon doyle

Dear One, we are living in the age of overwhelm and over-saturation. Between our own brain’s evolution & the system benefiting from capturing our attention, it can feel nearly impossible to live from an awakened heart.

If you want to feel good about watching the news or consuming social media, this one’s for you!

Ready to learn what’s possible when you drown out the noise, let in the silence, and learn the secret language of your intuitive wisdom? Let’s go!

Your attention problem is not your fault.

You didn’t choose to live in an age when the richest, most powerful tech companies in the world are putting their limitless resources behind figuring out how to get and keep your eyeballs on a screen all hours of the day.
You can’t help that you were born in a time when 90% of the data in the world was created in the last two years.
You didn’t ask for the endless bombardment of information – whether it’s positive or negative.
And then there’s the smartphone. I learned from Silicon Valley that the smartphone has more processing power than the Apollo Mission Control. So your phone could take you to the moon… or just put that power into distracting you.
The rise of the 24-hour news network has led to more divisive politics, checked-out citizens, and embittered empaths than any thing humans have ever experienced.

All of this information overload normalizes numbing out. The paralyzing consensus is, if I can’t do everything to change the world, I just won’t do anything. Or much worse, the idea that – if the world is this bad, it’s not worth saving.

There’s a sadness that emerges as we learn about this system we’re trapped in. Some part of us senses that we don’t want to miss the life that’s right here. We want to heal the severed connection to each other and the world, to come home to the truth of our belonging.

If you’ve landed in Luminous Leanings, you care about your awakening, you care about overcoming the negativity bias and choosing to walk in the light of consciousness. So let’s hold space for the grief – for the things out of our control, and let’s dream of a better future and take action to build it together!

As a content creator, if i’m not saying anything impactful or meaningful, I’d rather not say anything at all! We don’t need people to add to the noise – we need people honing their craft & sharing their unique message in the way that only they can to reach the people who need to hear it from them.

Information is power.

We can’t deny it just feels good to learn new things! Our brains like learning more information to protect themselves, outlive and outrun all others. Our egos like knowing the MOST, which is just another effort to belong, which is just another way to survive. Belonging is the core drive of pack animals. This is how we are built.

So why doesn’t it feel good to over-consume media, specifically the news and social media? What begins as a dopamine hit or a info fix that makes our brains feel safer and more informed, can quickly derail our nervous systems. Our cognitive default is towards what is harmful, this is our negativity bias. The human brain evolved to keep us safe by prioritizing negative information and hanging on longer to bad experiences. This default explains the journalism adage, “If it bleeds, it leads!”

We’re wired to pay more attention to the carnage, and the system is set up to make money off of what we pay attention to. It’s a rigged game, and luckily it’s one we can step out of once we wake up to it.

Knowing our wiring is key. Only then can we awaken, evolve, and push past our base instincts, while holding them with understanding and compassion.

Silence is golden.

“Don’t talk unless you can improve the silence.”
Jorge Luis Borges

“Silence is the language of God. All else is poor translation.”
rumi

Do you feel like you need background noise on all day long? Can you not stand stillness & silence? You’re not alone.

The impulse that drives you to pick up your phone 58 times a day is the same one that keeps you jumping out of your skin during a meditation session. Escapism is to resist presence, and it’s an epidemic of the spirit.

Tara Brach’s favorite inquiry is, “What are you unwilling to feel?”

All the noise, distractions, and escapes are our ego’s way of getting out of answering this very question! For most of us, the bottom line is: We don’t want to feel our mortality. We want to pretend death isn’t coming for us and everyone we love. We’re so afraid of our own demise that we stay busy and “connected” as a way to numb to the reality. The only problem is: We end up closing our hearts off to the life that’s right here in the present moment.

Silence is where the magic happens, Dear One. It’s where the channel opens. It’s how the Divine speaks through us. It’s how creativity is manifested. If you wanna fast track your presence and mindfulness habits, get silent. And, rather than resisting the mental chatter that arises as a result, get really curious about it. You can’t drown it out and then wonder why it continues to pop up other places like a whack-a-mole! That chatter is there for a reason – it wants to be heard. You can only hear it and face it when you get quiet.

The benefits of silence abound! Especially for creative entrepreneurs, silence is like a holy sacrament. Make it a habit to create every day before you consume. Marie Forleo taught me this magic trick, and it changed everything. Consuming includes email, insta-scrolling, checking the news, responding to that text, tuning into that podcast… everything! On days I do my morning pages first, I can stand in my truth as a creator without comparing myself to anyone else.

Self-care and creativity go hand in hand! So even if you don’t consider yourself an artist, your self-care is an act of creation. Meditation is creation, it is an art form and a cultivation of new brain patterns and resulting life patterns! So resist the urge to check e-mail before your meditation practice, and see what shifts.

Silence plus intention equals focus! To batten down the hatches, buckle down, bang one out. Getting in the zone, getting in the flow is sped up by silence.

Silence here doesn’t just mean quiet, it can also mean clutter-free spaces, closing all your browser tabs, or making a list that helps you go step-by-step. It’s the space between your to do’s, the space between the in and out breath. The holy instants where you remember you have a choice to either remain stuck in the cycles beyond your control or wake the eff up!

Perhaps the most profound by-product of silence is to know thyself. The inner stillness that can’t be touched by outside noise. It’s cultivated over a lifetime of practice. It’s meeting yourself and then loving yourself fully. So lean into the silence, there is so much good stuff in there just waiting for you!

Boundaries make good on intentions.

Okay. So, now that we know we were born with these brains that obsess over the negative, and we were born into this environment where that obsession is exploited, what do we do? How can we wake up and choose the silence that has the medicine and magic in it we need?

By setting boundaries around the noise!

Let’s begin with installing our Information Filtration System (IFS).

Did anyone else grow up hearing that song, “Oh be careful little ears what you hear, Oh be careful little ears what you hear. For the father up above is looking down in love, Oh be careful little ears what you hear”? The lyrics then shift into, “Be careful little eyes what you see.” Growing up in a Christian home, I was taught that God was always watching and therefore to resist temptation was to resist punishment. I was also taught “garbage in, garbage out,” meaning if you consume meaningless trash, you will only put meaningless trash out into the world.

While I now reject the sin and shame implications of these messages, I stick by the value of filtering what we take in as a way to protect ourselves. We especially protect our energy when we do this. By caring for our nervous systems so that they don’t get high-jacked by something on our phones, we practice self-compassion and energetic resilience.

To install your IFS, simply notice (1) what you’re taking in and (2) how it’s affecting you. Practice embodiment and mindfulness to tune into any tension, contraction, or panic in the mind and body. When you notice it, say, “This thing isn’t serving me. It’s not uplifting me or contributing to my well-being.”

Once you’ve installed your IFS, you can then either drop the thing altogether or create moderation. The news almost never makes me feel good, but I recognize that it is outside of my values to drop it altogether and be uninformed and disconnected from the world I love. So the news is something I choose to consume in moderation. And moderation brings us to boundaries.

You’ve heard of SMART goals – set a SMART boundary! It should be specific, measurable, attainable, relevant and time-bound.

Write out some boundaries right now – create one for your phone, one for social media, one for the news, one for TV or streaming, or one for whatever you struggle with. Here are some examples of boundaries straight outta my playbook. I’m not perfect at these every day, but they help guide my intentions:

Phone Boundary: I will not use my phone in the bedroom for anything other than meditation. I will keep my phone on airplane mode from 9pm until after my morning routine. I will place my phone on the dining room table when I’m hanging out and relaxing in the living room. I will only turn on notifications from my calendar and texting apps.
Social Media Boundary: I will keep addictive apps like Instagram and Facebook off my home screen and out of my notifications. I will use social media intentionally – setting specific goals for a session and reminding myself when I’m getting sucked down a rabbit hole. I will follow accounts that diversify my feed, teach me new things, and make me feel good. I will unfollow accounts that increase my anxiety, feelings of separateness, or contribute to comparisonitis.
News Boundary: I will only seek out news once a day, on my lunch break for 20 minutes. I will never check the news before I meditate.
TV/Streaming Boundary: I will not watch more than 3 episodes of a show, or more than 1 movie and 1 episode of a show in a single day.

Perhaps it’s a time of day you tend to reach for distraction – like habitually turning on a podcast for your daily walk or shower. This isn’t bad or wrong, but can you challenge yourself to – every once in a while – simply be with the silence? If you’re systematically uprooting silence throughout the day, set an intention to seed it back in. I am currently trying to just notice when I’m reaching for a silence-filler and why.

Put inspiration into action.

Finally, Dear One, consuming inspirational content is great. I’ve learned so much from the University of podcasts, and don’t know where I’d be without certain self-help authors!

But don’t fall into the trap of binging inspirational content without taking action to implement the lessons in your own life! Don’t be a mindless, passive consumer of content. Be a radical change maker who acts on inspiration! Let the space in-between inspiration be filled only with your intuition showing you what to do with what you’ve just learned. Trust yourself to contribute your wisdom, and protect that wisdom through intentionally practicing silence and self-care.

How to Cultivate a (Wo)Manifestation Mindset & Get Anything You Want

What a week I’m having over here in New Mexico! In a little over 12 hours, I got a new job and a new home. I attracted an incredible professional opportunity paying more than I even asked for. It might sound self-aggrandizing, but I truly believe this is the direct result of the womanifestation mindset I have been cultivating.

I like to call it womanifestation, because I work with so many women who are tapping into that creative sacral chakra potential that both comes naturally to us and is systematically kept dormant within us. Internalized patriarchy is real, and is a direct result of an imbalanced system set up to oppress and control women.

But there is hope – we can unlock our innate ability to draw forth resources, power, support, and pleasure!

In case you missed the Law of Attraction, The Secret, or don’t know what the heck manifestation work is – it is the practice of visualizing what you want and imagining you already have it, in order to directly draw it towards yourself.

Many teachers teach folks how to tune up their energetic “frequency” in order to be more in the flow of what we want. A Course in Miracles states, “Miracles occur naturally, and when they’re not occurring something has gone wrong.” This means our responsibility is to stay attuned to what we want and to be responsible recipients.

Can you remember a time in your life that you wanted something specific, spent time imagining it, and then actually got it?

I remember daydreaming during work-study in college one day. I actively imagined (in great detail) meeting the man of my dreams during my upcoming semester abroad in Ireland, falling in love, moving to New York City, and ultimately marrying him. AND THEN IT ALL HAPPENED! That’s when I really started to believe in the power of womanifestation. As they say, “Energy goes where your attention flows.”

**But before we dive into the practices that will help you cultivate a womanifestation mindset, let’s talk about what manifestation is not:**

Womanifestation is not a gumball machine you put a quarter in, sit back, and receive a shiny blessing from. You still have to do the work! Being in this state of mind will only help the blessings along – it doesn’t excuse you from pounding the pavement, actively seeking their realization.

Womanifestation is not a forced state of happiness that punishes you if you slip into a scarcity mindset or fearful thinking. The last thing we need when we’re feeling like blessings are scarce is to heap guilt on top of it. This is not an excuse to force a sense of, “Everything is okay,” when it’s not. You still need to honor and hold space for negative emotions as they arise.

This is not a form of escape. Learn to strike a balance between grounding presence with womanifestating visions of the future. If you spend your days lost in daydreams of the perfect future, you’re bound to develop an “if only” mindset. After a day’s hard work of womanifesting, you’re going to find it even easier to be present. Presence is a practice of gratitude, as if you’re saying to the Universe: “Thank you for what you have already blessed me with. I am aware of the support around me.” The miracles in our life want to be acknowledged. When they are, they will expand and multiply!

Now let’s dive into 5 practices to help you cultivate a Womanifestation Mindset:

1. Train your awareness.

Womanifestation involves powerful visualization, deprogramming limiting beliefs, preparing to receive, and being a responsible and grateful recipient. It all starts with an awareness of your thoughts, beliefs, stories and paradigms. Become aware of any existing belief blocks to womanifestation – for example, “Things will always be this way. I will never change. This is impossible.”

If you’ve ever taken a yoga class where the teacher invites you to set your intention for the practice, perhaps you’ve witnessed the power of conscious awareness. Intention is questioning what you hope to get out of an experience, and checking in with it to course-correct as necessary. It’s really about awareness. Because, whether we’re conscious of it or not, we are positioning ourselves to benefit, grow, and progress.

Meditation is the training of your awareness. Make it a daily habit, and watch your ability to tune inward grow.

2. Embody your inherent worthiness.

You have to believe that you deserve these blessings in order to become a magnet for them! Much easier said than done, huh? For many of my clients, this is the biggest unconscious block to womanifestation. We have internalized the patriarchy (men do this too!) and the idea that we don’t really deserve to get what we want. We believe, deep down, that we are inherently bad, selfish, and incapable of handling success.

I am always shocked when another high-powered women leader I’m working with struggles with imposter syndrome. Amanda Palmer describes this as the fear that the “Fraud Police” are going to knock on your door and tell you, “We know you’re not who you have been out masquerading as. You really have no idea what you’re doing, no credentials, and no right to be enjoying this level of success. It’s all over. We got you!”

The good news is – if you’re experiencing imposter syndrome – it’s a good sign you’re on the right track. The key is to make the U-turn away from the fear-spiral and towards worthiness.

Q: So how do we cultivate worthiness?

A: Self-compassion maintained by self-care. Period.

This can look like a mantra you repeat over and over and post-it note wallpaper your house in, such as “I am enough. I deserve joy. I am worthy of pleasure. I am responsible. I am beautiful. I am a child of God.” Whatever floats your special little boat!

It can also look like placing a hand on your heart when the Inner Critic voice arrives, and saying, “This is really hard right now. I love you and I’m here.”

It can look like journaling in one color to represent the fraud police and another to represent your higher self responding to them. Add new colors for different parts as they arise.

Get creative and courageous in your embodiment of worthiness. Repeat it over and over until it’s second nature. Talk to other people about their feelings of unworthiness and extend compassion toward them. Let them witness you and receive their support. Remember, this is universal! And it’s a life-long journey.

3. Get specific.

Now that you’ve trained your awareness and started to embody worthiness, you’ve laid the groundwork for womanifesting the life of your dreams! It’s time to get really clear on what you WANT.

Like registering for your wedding, indicate the size and color of your dreams. Make your mantra, “What do I want?” with no shame or feelings of selfishness attached. The Universe responds to specificity. The more clear you are with yourself on what you desire, the more quickly and efficiently you will draw it in.

Have you heard the prayer of Jabez? I learned this in Sunday school. Jabez was a guy that prayed to God to bless him immensely. He was specific in his request, and God gave it to him. As a child, it blew my mind that I could not only ask God to elevate my life and give me the desires of my heart, but I could be specific without being selfish. I used to think, if God is all-powerful, I shouldn’t have to spell it all out. But now I see it more as co-creating my life in every moment with Divine support.

And, if you don’t jive with the idea of a Divine presence or The Universe raining down blessings on you, consider this: Getting specific on what you want to womanifest will train your brain to direct all of your energy to getting it, thereby exponentially increasing your chances and speed of getting it. When we visualize what we want, we’re literally creating new thought patterns in our brains. If that’s not some womanifestation magic, I don’t know what is!

So next time you are stuck in your windowless cubicle, wishing for a career change, remember to get specific. What will the new job provide? What view will you have out your window? How will you decorate your office? What types of people will you work with? How will you dress for the job? What work will you do? What will a day in the life look like? How will you feel walking into work every morning? Leaving the office every night? Where will your sense of pride, accomplishment, success come from?

Please don’t leave it at, “I want a new job.” Get uber detailed with it, and see what happens!

4. Prioritize pleasure & destigmatize desire.

Women are socially shamed for their pleasure and potential. In so many subtle and not-so-subtle ways, we are taught that these things are reserved for men, we should just keep our hearts and minds closed to what we want (not to mention our legs).

In order to get specific on that which you will womanifest, you must not skip this step! Start asking yourself, “What brings me pleasure? How do I access pleasure? What blocks me from receiving pleasure? What do I truly desire? What about my desire is worthy or pure? How do my desires align with my highest potential in this life?”

These questions can clear blocks to pleasure and remove the stigma that surrounds it. They will train your brain to get curious about what uniquely pleases you, see it as good, and draw it towards you.

A friend told me recently she struggled to do what she truly wanted – to incorporate dance into her morning routine – because she thought it was too self-indulgent. I told her to self indulge! What is the harm? The real harm is in denying ourselves something we divinely desire, sealing the coffin of our own future regret. If we deny what we want, we will only try to fill the void with unhealthy alternatives unconsciously.

What is the most luxurious thing you can imagine doing for yourself? For me, it looks like eating a rich meal, taking an extravagant bath with essential oils, planning a dream vacation. Even just imagining it should make your mouth water! This is a mental exercise in pushing the boundary between what you believe to be possible and impossible, okay and not okay, the boundary between self-indulgence and self-care.

Let this become a mindset in and of itself for as long as you live. It’s okay to be propelled by pleasure and desire. When we embody self-love, this arises naturally. We realize we don’t have to deny ourselves joy in order to fulfill our purpose of helping others. People are drawn to people who prioritize fun – they are more likely to support your cause with their money, time and resources once you embody this. The world needs us at our best – so self-care like it!

5. Reframe your fear & keep going.

Fear is inevitable on your womanifestation journey. You will either feel afraid as you prepare to womanifest, when you are imagining what you want, when you are asking for what you want, and/or as you are getting what you want!

Fear is a natural part of our evolution, and we are deeply concerned with what we believe society will either reward or punish. We are routinely shown that pleasure and desire are punishable offenses due to their self-indulgent nature. We all have an evolutionary fear of being isolated and separated from other humans (which translates in our minds to being isolated from nourishment, support, and life itself).

Marie Forleo says, “Fear is just excitement pumping the breaks.” Sometimes fear has a valid reason. But usually, we can quiet it with a little self-compassion. Try saying to it, “Hey there, fear. Thank you for trying to protect me. I understand your concern – you want me to survive and belong. I honor you, I witness you. But I’ll take it from here.”

The same can be said for guilt. Have you ever asked for something, gotten it, and then felt guilty for getting it? Almost like you need to apologize for your success, or minimize your good fortune so as to not offend others?

This too comes from a fear of being separate – being on display, put on a pedestal where we can easily slip and fall from glory. After all, Icarus was punished for flying too close to the sun – just look at all the ways we’re warned against aspiration! We have a millenia’s worth of unlearning and mental decolonization to do, and we must support it with gentle understanding and self-care.

Keep going.

When you notice a block, jump over it. Stagger forward anyway. You’re allowed to make mistakes, you’re allowed to be on the journey. You’re going to have fears and guilt around getting what you want. As Maya Angelou said, “Ask for what you want, and be prepared to get it.” The preparation is often the hardest part! Be easy with yourself, but don’t give up!

Dear Ones, I’d love to hear from you! What is the biggest thing you’ve womanifested? What mental roadblocks are you hitting on your journey? What self-care practices or mantras have helped you embody your inherent worthiness? Tell me in the comments below!

Be well & take gentle self-care,

How To Connect With Your Intuition

One of the top complaints I hear from my coaching clients is, “I don’t know how to connect with my intuition.” Intuition is, without a doubt, our biggest resource on the path to finding meaning, joy, and self-compassion in our lives. It is a skill to be sharpened and a muscle to be strengthened.

Most of us aren’t brought up to get quiet and listen inward, let alone to know how to discern between our guiding voice and the chatter of fear, critics, and society. In a culture where logic and intellect are championed as our most valuable assets, it can be challenging to set aside the facts and figures in favor of a deeper sense of knowing.

Intuition is defined as the ability to understand something immediately, without the need for conscious reasoning. It’s that still, small voice that whispers to you at your soul-crushing 9-5 job, “You are meant for more.” It’s an inner knowing that says, “This present moment is all that matters.” It’s that gut feeling telling you it’s time to get out of a toxic relationship. Your intuition speaks with a higher authority – its voice that can sound a lot like God, your guides, a wise teacher, or trusted friend. It’s an inner voice that sounds true, which you can’t deny.

Following your intuition is so much more fulfilling and sustainable than following someone else’s advice or road map for your life because it comes from YOU! It’s incredibly empowering to take your own advice and see the value of your intuition at work.

Want to start hearing, believing, and following through on your intuition? Follow these six steps:

A teacher once told me, “Our being only knows two states: safe and unsafe. Everything else follows from there.” At the core of us, we are animals – conscious animals, yes, but animals nonetheless. When we feel unsafe, our limbic system is activated, which is responsible for fight, flight, freeze. On the other hand, when we feel safe, our parasympathetic nervous system is activated. This is the state of wellness – rest, digestion and healing are optimal in this state. Parasympathetic activation can result from safe feelings – but, did you know you can also manipulate your experience and environment to engage it? I love “hacking” mine with such tools as meditation, mantras, breath work, yoga, and fascial care.

These self-care practices can also serve as the gateways for accessing self-compassion. If loving yourself seems like such a far-fetched concept that you can’t wrap your head around, start small with acts of self-care, like a home candlelit yoga practice or a bath. Mindfully connect with that part of yourself that wants to take care of yourself, and let it flourish from there.

You’ll know you are practicing self-compassion when you are able to step out of your suffering for a moment to see yourself through the eyes of love. After all, care is a general maintenance project. Compassion is a response to suffering. Try placing a hand on your heart and saying to yourself, “This is really hard right now.” Practicing self-compassion will awaken your intuition by allowing you to see yourself through a trusted, loving perspective. You’ll never hear or trust your intuition if your relationship to yourself is rooted in blame, criticism, judgment and separation.

Marie Forleo just gave me a great tool for distinguishing the voice of my intuition from the voice of fear. In her book, Everything Is Figureoutable, Marie writes:

“Whenever I feel torn about a situation and can’t immediately tell whether I’m experiencing normal, healthy, directive fear (a sign to say yes and GROW!) or an intuitive hit to run the other way, I always find my answer through a subtle, visceral body check. This only takes seconds and it produces a clear answer. Every. Single. Time.”

She asks herself one single question and listens closely to her body’s response: Does saying yes to this make me feel expansive or contracted?

I love this trick so much, because it’s easy to remember and really works! There is so much fear in growth, it’s natural. But if when you imagine saying yes to a particular opportunity, and you feel contracted – your body is telling you not to move forward. On the other hand, if your intuition is saying to go for it, your body will feel open, spacious and free! One will win out – the key is to become sensitive to your body intelligence and listen to what it’s telling you.

The wisdom of our bodies has long been ignored by Western medicine. In a society that heralds the mind as the pinnacle of human evolution, it can be hard to access our body intelligence. Meditating on the body is a great place to start! Search your fav meditation app for a body scan meditation or use Yin Yoga or Yoga Nidra to access your inner wisdom. I also love fascial awakening – the practice of moving and holding your connective tissues to process life’s emotions (as opposed to letting them freeze in stuckness or depression). Try this practice offered by my incredibly talented cousin and mind-body expert, Jessica Lichaa!

As our bodies are extensions of the earth, meditating on the earth is another beautiful way to connect with our inner knowing. Root down, talk to the plant and element spirits, and listen to their guiding whispers. Visualize yourself becoming one with Mother Earth, and pay attention to what lessons are revealed to you.

Really get into it, and use your bodily sensations as anchors to your present experience. Keep coming back into your body and the earth, even though your brain is begging for an escape. Over time, you will retrain your brain to feel safe in the body, its natural home.

In meditation, we bring awareness to our thoughts. The goal of meditation is not to stop thinking – if you stop thinking, you’re dead. Thoughts are inevitable. They are not bad, they just aren’t you. Saying to yourself over and over, “I am not my thoughts,” is a great way to break the cycles of thought-identification. It is ingrained in us to judge our thoughts, but we can break the cycle over time, with practice.

Cultivating a neutral, unattached relationship with our thoughts helps our intuition to flourish. It’s as if we have two voices within us at all times – the ego and the Higher Self. The ego wants to keep us safe and identified with everything around us. This is the thought pattern you’ve probably always connected with, perhaps even beginning to think of its voice as your own. When the ego is so loud we can’t hear our Higher Self, it’s no wonder we remain stuck in a space devoid of self-care and self-compassion!

But trust that there is a Higher Self, your intuition, always whispering to you just behind the ego. The last thing your ego wants is for you to stop identifying with it and to hear the whisper of your Higher Self. This is because your ego wants you to believe you are a unique individual, when the Higher Self knows the truth – that your belonging to the Universe and all beings everywhere could never, ever be severed. We must keep our ego on a leash, using it only when it benefits us, and quieting it so we can hear the voice of our Higher Self.

We all have our inner critics. The distinct voices that try to keep us playing safe by actively belittling us and telling us we will never make it or be enough. Bring your awareness to your inner critic. What does it sound like? What does it say to you? Give it a character, really define how it looks, moves, acts, and when it appears in your life. Nickname it.

Next time you hear its familiar voice, really stop and visualize it. Talk back to it. What would you say? What does your inner critic really want, deep down? What does it need?

Send the inner critic love and compassion. After all, it is another part of yourself. Like the ego and fear, it’s probably trying to protect you. Thank it, and let it know you can take it from here. You can even mentally send your inner critic on vacation when you are doing something particularly vulnerable.

Once you become very familiar with your thoughts, your fears, your ego and your inner critic – you can more readily detect judgment more broadly. Gabby Bernstein’s book, Judgment Detox, really helped me see how deeply judgment was running through my life. Gabby writes:

“Judgment is the number one reason we feel blocked, sad, and alone. Our popular culture and media place enormous value on social status, looks, racial and religious separation, and material wealth. We are made to feel less than, separate, and not good enough, so we use judgment to insulate ourselves from the pain of feeling inadequate, insecure, or unworthy. It’s easier to make fun of, write off, or judge someone for a perceived weakness of theirs than it is to examine our own sense of lack.”

Insulating ourselves from feelings of “not enough-ness” is the primary function of judgment. Hurt people hurt people. On the other hand, when we are taking care of ourselves and cultivating self-compassion, a genuine heart for the world emerges and expands. We no longer live in a delusion of separation. We are part of the whole, and we recognize that a harm to one is a harm to us all.

Practicing non-judgment includes not judging yourself when you judge. I can feel nearly impossible not to label thoughts and experiences, people and their choices as “good” or “bad”. But it is possible, with practice and compassion. Start to make a habit of it, and you will hear your intuition arise.

Perhaps my favorite way to connect with my intuition is to pay my future self a visit. Manifestation meditation can be a powerful experience for getting really clear on what it is you want and need. Future self takes it a step further by introducing you to yourself X number of years in the future.

When I first did this visualization, I was skeptical. It sounded silly and frivolous, and I couldn’t see how it could possibly help me. But as I was guided through the experience, and as I came face-to-face with myself 20 years in the future, I was blown away by my mind’s ability to conjure such a vivid experience. I looked into my own eyes and was embraced and welcomed by myself. I had a present conversation with myself, and got a lot of clarity around my future career, relationships, and desires.

When I came out of the visualization, I realized I had just connected with my Higher Self. She had such a deep wisdom and knowing that I both crave now and find I am capable of tapping into. That’s because she is always with me! I am learning how to grow into her more, day by day. When I am met with a particularly difficult choice or emotion, I ask myself, “What would my future self do?” I’ve found it comforting and clarifying. So much so, that I’ve recorded a future self guided visualization for all of you! Check it out here.

Dear Ones, I’m so excited for you to begin connecting with your intuition. Remember, we are all different and there is no formula for what will work for you. These steps are meant to be explored and experimented with as an exercise in deeper self-knowing. We’re all learning the language of our intuition, day by day. Give it a go, and let us know in the comments below!

Discerning Your Paths as a Multipassionate Entrepreneur (Hint: You Don’t Have to Choose Just One)

Oh, Dear Ones. What a journey it is to find our purpose! Everywhere we look, some new self-help author or product is promising us help distilling what exactly our singular reason for being on this planet is. It’s a question that’s been top of mind for me from a very young age. I’ve always thrashed against the idea that I could only be one thing. Some of my earliest memories are of my sister getting mad at me because I was always changing the answer to the question, What do you want to be when you grow up? From a beekeper to a Christmas tree farmer, a figure skater, a broadway choreographer, an actress, a rockstar, an anthropologist, a writer, an artist, a defender of women’s rights, and everything in between, I wanted EVERYTHING for as long as I can remember. And hey, all those jobs still sound BALLER, and I kinda still want to be and do all of them. I’ve even been lucky enough to do some of them. While some of the time, my cornucopia of desired careers has evoked curiosity and skepticism from folks, most of the time people confide in me that they can totally relate.

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[Photo by Raul Petri on Unsplash]

My interests are so broad I freaking got a master’s degree in international affairs because I couldn’t narrow it down. And now, three years into working in the field I prepared for, I’ve moved across the country to pursue new and varied dreams of starting a brewery, becoming a life coach and a healer. Each day brings its different challenges and doubts, such as – Why the hell did I think blowing up my life in DC was a good idea? What if I fail? How will I explain to people my vision of a mindful brewery in a beautiful retreat space where we also hold meditation retreats and workshops? But I use the doubt to push me further. Maybe that last question is teaching me I should create a more concrete business plan, and get clear about the steps I need to take to achieve it!

I found a little trick for explaining this multiple purpose/career path thing to people. It is kind of like being a spiritual pluralist – that is, not limiting yourself to one belief about the Divine, but rather opening yourself to many possibilities. The great poet Rainer Maria Rilke wrote (and Joanna Macy translated):

I live my life in widening circles
that reach out across the world.
I may not complete this last one
but I give myself to it.
I circle around God, around the primordial tower.
I’ve been circling for thousands of years
and I still don’t know: am I a falcon,
a storm, or a great song?

Oh, how I love this poem. The author doesn’t claim to know anything – not even who she is. And yet she flies around and around this concept of ancient Divinity, searching, exploring, learning, always questioning. And it isn’t a sad exploration – rather, she recognizes she may never complete the search, but she “gives herself to it anyway”. I would much prefer to live my life in widening circles that encompass the whole world, rather than stay in one place or to, God forbid, live life in an ever-narrowing circle! Eventually ending up with one rigid belief system or idea for how my life should be.

Marie Forleo – my personal business shero – coined the term for this pluralistic career paths “multi-passionate“. And hallelujah, does that EVER resonate with me! For those who don’t fit into the conventional career box, you can now give yourself permission to instead write-in multipassionate entrepreneur. Finally a phrase that celebrates, not stigmatizes, so many of our varied twisty and turny careers.

[Photo by Kinga Cichewicz on Unsplash]

In this handy video, Marie talks about how to be multipassionate without looking flaky. She says, first, you gotta own and embrace it. Next, you have to know how to position it properly, and confidently sell your pluralist approach as a strength. When you aren’t yet ready to share a fragile, new idea with the world, play in private until it’s ready (if it ever really is). She recommends relishing in the obscurity of the early points in your career, and know that you will make mistakes. She cautions – don’t try to turn everything into a business, and, once you decide which passions you’re going to take lucrative, you can’t care what anyone thinks. You can, of course, take constructive advice if it serves you – this is where your intuition comes in handy! But you can’t make it as a multipassionate entrepreneur and continue to care that some people just won’t get it, some people will identify too strongly with their own fear to put their comfort level on the line to do what you are doing to authentically relate. And that’s okay.

The world will tell you to choose a niche or you’ll become a jack of all trades and master of none. So many people believe that they have to choose just one thing, to please their parents, climb the career ladder to the top, find job and financial security and generally win at life. Luckily this generation is slowly figuring out that you can diversify! The internet has forever changed the landscape of what is possible – making it an option to run a business from the beach in Costa Rica to the lagoons of Iceland. AT THE SAME TIME, you have to be focused, goal-oriented and clear on what you want! This is the beautiful tension – yes, you can be multipassionate and chase a plethora of dreams at the same time. But no, you can’t do it while being completely scatter-brained and lacking focused attention. The multipassionate path can come with a lot of self-consciousness, insecurity and doubt. It can be hard to determine if your passion projects should be financing your life, or kept sacred without the pressure of earning you a paycheck. But the beauty of living in the digital age is, we can take risks if we legitimately think we can succeed, and if we’re willing to work our buns off.

[Photo by Nicole Honeywill on Unsplash]

Look, I know it’s hard. Even yesterday, I was challenged to consider choosing between pursuing a life coaching certification and starting a brewery. But no, at this time, I will not choose (maybe some day, but not today). I will not sacrifice my beautiful dreams because they don’t fit the mold and possibly make others uncomfortable. If you don’t want to meditate or do yoga in a funky cool space that also serves artisan beer, then by all means, you are not my audience. And that is okay.

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I’m just working on listening to that still small voice within that guides me on my path. If you get quiet enough to hear it, the whisper can be loud enough to drown out the noise of doubt. Remember, many times the haters are only hating because they are trying to protect you. Those parents you’re aiming to please probably really do want what is best for you. It’s the same with those nagging doubts you might feel from time to time. It is likely only your intuition trying to keep you safe – listen to it, befriend it, let it know what matters most to you. Ask yourself, What’s really going on here? Is this trying to teach me something, like that maybe I’m making a mistake? OR Is this just plain old egoic fear trying to steal my passionate thunder? Make it your priority day in and day out to replace that fear with the still, small voice that whispers to you your wildest dreams. And live your life in widening circles.

Until next time, be well & take gentle self care.